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Full Version: Bleach: Seireitei Reborn {Chapter 2 is UP!!!}
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Chapter 1; Remade! (Click to View)
Chapter 2 (Click to View)
Text blocks = bad.

Even if it's just an explanation, break it up.
Chapter 1 is up!
I kind of don't like how you represent the characters
"A teenage version of Kenichi"
"Some random shingami..."
It isn't very imaginative or descriptive
My apologies. That is only this section. This is like a summary of the past. The actual timeline of this Fan Fiction is 2000 Years after what your reading. I'm just trying to get this part out of the way. The random Shinigami wasn't important. The next chapter will be much better if your looking for imaginative writing and detail.
Let me be mean here.

1) Syco/Physco/whatever isn't a acceptable name in a series that features Japanese names only. Change it, or I will dismiss your attempts at writing for a long time.
2) Captain-level reiatsu at such a low level? Ichigo says 'hi', he wants his plot point back. If you're gonna make him strong, don't show it so blatantly in the first chapter.
3) Don't describe your character in terms of another character. It shows that you can't think up of an original appearance.
4) You don't choose your squad division. They have different roles, therefore, you are assigned.
5) Graduating early is a Mary Sue trait. Cut that, or make it more believable.
6) Trainees don't know their shikai in the academy; it takes at least the strength of a seated officer.
7) Constantly unsealed shikai? I hear Ichi-san ringing again...

Other than that, it's OK, albeit a bit short.
I remade chapter 1

BUMP
BUMP!!!!

Chapter 2 is up!!!
BUMP

Please Read and Review!
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