Yugioh Card Maker Forum

"YEEEE-HAW!!" screamed an old, bearded, crazy man. "I just panned me sum GOLD!!"
Enter West Town in a fictional 19th century Nevada. A town named West Town - oops, I just mentioned it. Well, anyways, people're now finding an alarming amount of gold in a local river. the town would be famous in a few months! And the protector of all this gold: the local sheriff, WILD WEST BOB. He used a Rock-type deck. Oh yeah. I forgot to mention: this timeline's dominated by collectible trading card games. Notably, Yu-Gi-Oh.

"Hm," noted Bob, on his daily trek around town, "it seems that there's something in the cemetery." He was pretty handsome; he had dusty brown hair and sincere blue eyes. He had a defined chin and some stubble on that same chin. he wore a cowboy hat, a cowboy vest, a white and dusty blue jeans. He also had cowboy boots. What a cowboy.

He cautiously snuck into the SPOOKY graveyard and looked for anything suspicious. Then, he found something particularly nastily evil; his arch-nemesis, ZOMBIE BILL!! That pale-skinned, purple-haired fiend king of zombies has been known for TRYING TO STEAL GOLD!!

"And then," he muttered softly to himself, "I'll take that guy's gold!!"

"It's you!" roared Bob! Bill was so startled that he almost tripped over a mossy tombstone.

"Gasp!! It's Bob!!" screamed Bill. "I've upgraded my zombie deck to near-invincible status!" he announced.

"Too bad, you stupid zombie!" laughed Bob. "After I beat you in a trading card game, you're goin' straight to jail!" In this sick, twisted reality, all fist-fights and shootouts are done through card games.

Both men took out their 19th century battery operated duel disks (which look exactly like those used today); Bob's was brown and tan while Bill's was purple and blue. They each took 20 paces away from each other, and stopped when they were both the same distance from an angel statue.

"DUEL!!"

Bob: 4000 Life Points
Bill: 4000 Life Points

"I'm goin' first," proclaimed Zombie Bill. He drew six cards, Bob five.

Bill smiled. "I activate
Reasoning!" A picture of a card appeared, showing a man in a turban pointing at a glowing card. "You choose any monster level, and I discard cards from the top of my deck until I draw a monster. Then, if it's not the level you selected, I can Special Summon it!"

"Fine then..." Bob rubbed his chin in thought. Hmm...if I chooser four, half of his monsters are dead... he thought. "I call - LEVEL FOUR!!"

Bill picked up one card. "Heh. I Special Summon the all-powerful
Soul-Absorbing Bone Tower!! Behold!" A skeletal bone mountain appeared.

"That one's new," noticed Bob.

"That's right. And when a zombie monster's Special Summoned to my field, notably Bone Tower, you discard the top two cards of your deck!"

"Tch." Bob discarded a Sand Moth and a Shield and Sword from his deck. "End?"

"No. I'll set a monster and end my turn."

A huge tower made out of bones was towering above and a sideways, upside-down card sat next to it. They floated unnervingly in front of Bob.

"My draw!" He drew a Legendary Jujitsu Master. Hm, he thought. I might wanna save this for later, just in case... "I set one monster one monster and end my turn." His own floating card appeared to support him.

"Heh. Defensive as always." Bill drew a card and studied it for a moment. “I flip up my face-down Magical Merchant!”His hidden card was revealed to be a purple, humanoid ladybug in overalls, carrying all sorts of wares. “His flip effect allows me to discard cards from my deck ‘till I draw a spell or trap!” He picked up Dark Dust Spirit, Dark Crusader, Ryu Kokki, and BOOK OF LIFE I’ll save this for later… he thought. “I add a Book of Life to my hand. Next I’ll summon – Pyramid Turtle, Attack mode!” An Egyptian turtle appeared, sporting a beard and a fancy pyramid on its back. “I won’t be letting you flip up your Golem Sentry! Attack, Pyramid Poke!!”

Pyramid Turtle magically flew into the air and fell upside-down onto the set monster.

“Heh, you attacked my MOAI INTERCEPTOR CANNONS!!” The card flipped over, pushing the turtle off, creating three Easter Island statues.

“Urg.” (Zombie Bill, 3200 Life Points) “It wasn’t easy…Merchant defends. End.” The ladybug went into a defensive position.

“Draw.” Bob smiled. “I sacrifice my Cannons to set one monster.” Another card appeared, more menacing than the first. “I’ll end my turn.”

Bill placed down his spell. “It’s Guardian Sphinx. You THOUGHT that I’d save you. But I’m not letting you flip ‘m up! Activate Book of Life! I Special Summon Ryu Kokki and remove Sand Moth from your graveyard and discard two cards!!” Bob put SM into his pocket and put two cards into the grave, courtesy of Bone Tower. A huge, wraith-like man made out of skulls with a beating heart at its core stared him down, seeming to laugh at him with its sharp fanged mouth hanging ajar. “Now, attack! Bone Punch!” Ryu Kokki punched the air, letting several skulls fly off of his body at the card.

“Flip up – Guardian Sphinx.” The card seemingly automatically transformed into a giant sphinx. “I can’t use his ability since you attacked him, and –“

“They both have 2400 stats,” finished Bill. “Your turn.”

Bob drew Acidic Downpour. “Heh, you’re going down. I tribute my Guardian Sphinx to Special Summon Exxod, Master of the Guard!” The sphinx evaporated into brilliant light, only to be replaced with a statue wearing a headdress like Exodia, and everyone knows what Exodia looks like.

“Woah…” gasped Bill. “But why is he in attack mode?”

“You’ll see! Now I set a monster and activate Shield and Sword!” All monsters glowed red and blue. “This card reverses attack and defense stats for the turn! And my Exxod has 4000 defense! And that means –“

“No!!”

“Yes!! I’ll kill your Ryu Kokki!! Stabby Staff!” Exxod exerted a grunt and poked the bony man with a giant staff that magically appeared from behind its back. Ryu Kokki looked weaker than ever, beaten by one of the world’s worst attackers.

“Ugh (1200)!” Bill guarded his eyes from the flash of an exploding zombie. “My turn. Your monster’s attack is ZERO!” All monsters weren’t glowing again. “Now, Pyramid Turtle, kill Exxod!!” The turtle jumped up and cleaved through Exxod with its pyramid.

KABLOOSH. “Uhn (2800).” Bob drew a card. He flipped up Medusa Worm. “Kill Merchant.” Medusa Worm flew over to Magical merchant and bit off his head.

“Ow,” he said. Then he exploded.

“Next I’ll remove all Rock monsters from my graveyard!”

“Hunh?!” asked Bill.

“The card I smiled at when drawing wasn’t my Sphinx. It was Megarock Dragon.”

“No!!” gasped Bill.

“Yes! Every card you forced me to discard led to your downfall! I remove Gigantes, Grave Ohja, Guardian Sphinx and Exxod!” A giant dragon covered in jagged stones appeared.

“GROAAAAH!!” it roared.

“And for every monster I removed to summon him, he gains 700 attack points! 2800!!”

“Oh, crap.”

Bob pointed to Pyramid Turtle. “Now: Giant Rock Attack!!” Megarock Dragon spat out a rock at Pyramid Turtle, causing it to explode.

“NOOOOOOOOO!!” (0 Life Points. Game Over) I…lost.” The monsters disappeared and the duel disks powered off.

“Now, to pay for your crimes in jail,” said Bob, holding up handcuffs.

“Oh no! I gotta get outta here!” said Bill, scrambling to get away. “Running!!!”

“Hey, stop, you!!” yelled Bob, running after Zombie Bill. “YOU STUPID ZOMBIEEEEE…”

Let's head back into West Town, into the Golden Stuff Steakhouse. It would've been a pub, but 4Kids insisted we change it.

Inside, a bunch of bulky, bearded men were hangin' out and eatin' steak, but one stood out..."Wet" Willie. His orange hair was slightly untidy, and his green eyes were the color of Sonic Duck. He wore a light blue coat over his shoulders and over a white shirt.

Willie sipped some of his root beer from a mug nearby. It would've been regular beer, but 4Kids insisted we change it. He wiped his mouth afterwards with his hand.

Then he spotted another person that stood out...Jenny the Magician. Jenny had reddish-purplish hair, with clear blue eyes. Similar to Magician of Faith (a little TOO similarly), she wore a short purple dress. Coincidence? Of course not,the faithful girl was one of her favorite cards.

Jenny ploppled down onto the stool next to Willie, saying, "Now, who wants to play a friendly card game?" She had a notably bouncy and idiotic voice.

"Go fish!?" shouted some guy with a beard.

"Of course not, I mean Yu-Gi-Oh!"

"What the - er - that's not a real card game, idjit!

Willie thought, I could win this one...beautifully!

"I'll play against you!" he announced.

"Alright!" The two pulled out their duel disks; Willie's was blue and dark blue, Jenny's purple and lavender. "Let's duel!"

"You'd better play this beautifully," Willie said expectantly. Now they were standing up, attracting a large audience of guys with beards drinking root beer and eating steak.

Willie: 4000 Life Points
Jenny: 4000 Life Points

Jenny revealed a coin from behind her back. "I always want to make my games fair!" She flipped the coin. As it landed on the wooden floor, a picture of Willie's head came up on it!

"Where'd you get that from?"

"I'm a magician! Now, let's draw already!" Jenny drew her five cards, while Willie drew his six.

"I summon Space Mambo!" the man said. As he did, a huge image of a mechanical-looking ocean sunfish appeared. It made a low moaning sound.

A bearded guy said, "Well, whuzzee gonna do ta her, Space Mambo Splash?"

The crowd laughed.

Ignoring them, Willie then said, "Next, I use Big Wave, Small Wave!" Holograms of crimson-red waves splashed over the field. "I get to destroy my Mambo to Special Summon a Water-attributed card from my hand!" When the waters cleared, an armored sea serpent stood in its place! "And I summon the Levia-Dragon Daedalus! How's that for a turn...beautifully?"

"Nothingi can't beat!" cheerily shouted Jenny. She drew another card. "I set three cards and end my turn!" Two spells or traps were set, as well as a monster.

"Tch! She can't beat HIM!" some guys with beards mocked.

"I hope not." Willie drew another card. "I set one card." Another face-down spell or trap appeared. Now to risk my serpent... "Now, Levia-Dragon, attack! Strike of Daedalus!"

The serpent majestically swerved over to the card and jabbed it with its pointy nose. The monster - Breaker the Magical Warrior - was destroyed.

So much for stalling! Jenny thought enthusiastically.

"Your turn, Jenny."

She drew a card and smiled a big Cheshire cat smile.

"Look at that smile, y'all!"

"She's really up to somethin' 'ere!" The crowd may have spoken in fear, but Willie had no worry.

"I activate the Dark Magic Curtain!" A blue curtain surrounded her, held by some skeleton. "For half of my Life Points, I get to summon the Daaark Muhgiciaaan!" (Jenny the Magician, 2000 Life Points) The curtain withdrew itself as the Dark Magician himself, dressed in purple, appeared before them.

"Ooh!"

"Aah!"

"I have a feeling he'll be the main character in an anime!"

"What's an anime?"

"But with 2500 Attack Points," another guy said, "he can't kill that dragon he's got."

"Yeah."

"Yeah!"

"YEAH!"

"I activate Torrential Tribute!" Willie activated his Trap card! "Now both of our monsters are destroyed, beautifully!" A huge explosion of light totally vaporized the dragon and the magician.

"Ooh!"

"Aah!"

"My eyes!" Someone started having a seizure.

"Poor Magician. Never had a chance."

"Aw..."

"Go orange hair!"

"Yeah!"

"Wait, the dragon could've beaten that thing!"

"Yeah, YEAH!"

"Stupid!"

"Shut up!" Willie was getting angry at these guys with beards.

"Blast it!" Jenny slapped her knee. "Looks like I'll need to develop a plan B!"

"My turn?" Willie drew his card in fury. Stupid decision... he thought in fury.

Stupid guy! Now I can't use my Mage Power! Jenny frowned.

"I summon the Mad Lobster!" he yelled in fury. An equally - and maybe more - furious lobster appeared, with no skin on its face. "And I attack! Mad Clobber!"

"Get it? Lobster...clobber?"

"Heh heh heh. Classic."

The lobster whacked Jenny on the head! Or, at least it looked like it.

"Uhh, ouch?" (Jenny, 300 Life Points) The hologram barely phased her...though she knew she might lose any minute now.

"Yyyyour turn."

"Woohoo!" She drew a card and immediately summoned it! "I summon the Faithful Magician!"

"That's Magician of Faith, ya idjit!"

Anyways, a girl in a bluish dress with purple hair and a cool gold staff appeared. She had a faithful expression on her face...but what for?

"And now," Jenny continued, "I give her Mage Powerrr!" A bunch of guys dressed in robes crowded around Magician of faith and chanted a chant. It lasted for about five seconds. then they disappeared. "And I set another card! That gives my magician a power boost of 2000 Attack and Defense Points! Attack that lobster! Faithful Blast!"

The magician shot some faithful energy from her staff at Mad Lobster, thus giving it the faith to blow up.

"Good move, Jenny." (Willie, 3400 Life Points) "But I'm not down yet!" He drew his card and set a face-down dude. "Your turn...beautifully."

"Weirdo!" Jenny drew her card and summoned a cool-looking magician dressed in all black with an orb on his staff. "Face the power of the Skilled Daaark Muhgiciaaan! He's worse than Dark Magician, but his name makes him sound better! Now, attack! Skilled Dark Magic Attack!"

The magician charged up an attack that would have been incredibly powerful had he not tripped and fallen on his face. The attack hit nonetheless! Just then, the card flipped over, and a noble penguin deflected the shot with his sword! It blasted the magicians into Jenny's hand again! Sadly, the penguin died of a heart attack.

"Ha! You've just attacked my Penguin Soldier!"

"Woah!"

"What a cool penguin!"

"He's so noble!"

"He's my hero!"

"Your turn!" Jenny said. "Stupid penguin!"

Willie drew a card and summoned it. "I summon the Tribe-Infecting Virus!" A microscopic amoeba appeared on the ground. If you squinted real hard, you could see it. "Attack! Tribe Infect!"

"But I'm not a tribe!"

"Too bad!" The virus leaped into Jenny's eyeball, or at least its hologram did.

"Aah! My eyeeiis!" (Jenny, 0 Life Points. Game Over) The hologram didn't really hurt, though...but it hurt her feelings.

"That means I won, beautifully!"

Jenny ran through the old-style doubledoors of the steakhouse. "You freak!"

As she did, a bearded guy said, "Hey...you did it!"

"Yeah!"

"I had my bets on you!"

"I had my bets on the girl!"

"Idjit!"

"Three cheers for Beautiful!"

"Hip hip...hooray!"

Willie waved to the crowd, trying to manage a smile.

"Hip hip...hooray!"

He drank the last of his root beer, laid some gold dust on the table, and passed through the doorway. Though Beautiful was a horrible nickname for a man, Willie could live with it.

"Hip hip...HOORAY!!!!!"

Bob walked into the local West Town Bank and stood in a line leading to three tellers, each in a green box-like cubicle. The building, like all others in West Town, was made out of plywood. Bob looked at the guy in front of him.
“Willie!” he greeted! Willy, the man in front of him, turned around.
“Bob? Is that you? It’s been ages!” Willy replied.
“What’cha been up to lately?”
“I beat a magician at Yu-Gi-Oh. And you?”
“I-“

Suddenly, a small baby in a ten-gallon hat, cowboy boots and a diaper walked into the bank. He took out his baby blue and white colored duel disk.
“Y’all put yer hands up! I’m a-takin’ the muney at this ‘ere bank! Stay where ya are or else!” he threatened. “My name’s Big Bad Baby Boy, and I’m already a master at Yu-Gi-Oh and I’m twelve months old! I can talk fer Pete’s sake! And I ain’t lost to nobody!”
“Except for me!” Bob walked closer to the baby.
“Who’re you?”
“I’m Wild West Bob, the sheriff of this town. Drop your cards or else I’ll have’ta duel you.” he said.
“No way! I ain’t never lost, and I ain’t gonna lose now!” BBBB stood his ground.
“No, Bob. Leave this to me,” Willie said. “I’ll take care of him.”
“No way. I need some practice on my skills today.” He took out his duel disk.
“AAH!!” The tellers took cover under their desks. “TAKE COVER!!”

“DUEL!!”
(BBBB: 4000 Life Points)
(Bob: 4000 Life Points)
“I’m a-goin’ first!” Big Bad Baby Boy called. “I play Enchanted Fittin’ Room!” A weird curtain with occult demon stuff on it appeared. “When I use ‘dis card, I ‘kin pay eight hun’red Life Points to Special Summon the top four two ‘r lower normal monsters on mah deck!” He picked up two Skull Servant cards, a Human-Wave Tactics and a Fox Fire. “And now ah can Summon mah two Skull Servants in Defense Mode!” Two skeletons dressed in purple robes sat down in front of him. “I’ll Summon Dreamsprite and end mah turn.” A blue fairy with red wings and hair stood by the Skull Servants.
(BBBB: 3200 Life Points)

“Okay!” Bob scanned his hand. “I’ll set three cards and end my turn.” Two spells/traps and a monster were placed onto the field.

“Hm.” Big Bad stared at his hand. “I’ll turn mah Dreamsprite to Defense Mode. Yer turn.” The fairy turned into a defensive position.

“Hm. I’d better just get this game going. I play Fissure!” A hole appeared under Big Bad’s monsters.
“Oh no!” he cried!
“Oh yes! I can destroy the weakest monster on your field, and that’s Dreamsprite!” The fairy fell into the hole and exploded. Then the hole filled itself back up again. “Next I’ll flip up Sand Moth!” His face-down monster turned into a weird-looking desert behemoth with 1000 Attack Points. “Attack one of his Skull Servants! Sand Barf!” Sand Moth spat out a ball of sand at Skull Servant. It blew up. “Turn, end.”

Big Bad drew a card. He smiled. “Ah Summon da King a da Skull Servants-“
“I use Compulsory Evacuation Device.” Bob triggered his trap card! A newly played Skull Servant was blasted back into its owner’s hand.
“Darn it! Mah King! I’ll set a card and end mah turn!”

“Bob drew his next card. “I activate a field spell: Canyon!” The bank transformed into a huge desert valley. The bank tellers gasped. Willie looked around in awe.
“Beautiful card,” he remarked.
“Now, Sand Moth! Sand Barf!” The last Skull Servant was destroyed.
“Oh no! Not again!” gasped Big Bad Baby Boy. He held up his King of Skull Servants. “Psyche. Now ah-“
“Waitaminnit!!” Bob yelled!
“What?”
“I never said ‘I end my turn’.”
“Oh, ah’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I end my turn.”

“Ah Summon da King a da Skull Servants! In Attack Mode! Ha ha!” It was another Skull Servant, except it had a dark aura around it and looked more realistic.
“Uh, okay.”
“His ability is dat he gains 1000 Attack Points fer every Skull Servant in mah Graveyard! He has 2000 Attack!!” The spirits of the Skull Servants floated around the king.
“Oh NOOO!” cried bob!
“Oh yeah! Kill Sand Moth! Weak Attack!” The Skull Servant king ran up to Sand Moth and slapped it softly. Then it exploded!
“Bob, no!” Willy gasped.
(Bob: 3000 Life Points)

“Urgh.” Bob drew his newest card. “I set a monster and use Misfortune. You lose life points equal to half of your monster’s Attack.” A dude in a suit and mask hovered in front of BBBB and stared at him harshly, though his eyes were most likely covered.
“Ow!” (BBBB: 2200 Life Points)
“Turn end.”

“Draw!” Big Bad Baby Boy drew an Ojamagic card. “Ah set dis card! Now attack!” The skeleton king slapped the face-down card, revealed to be another Sand Moth!
“GWOAH.” It roared.
“Your king has 2000 Attack, while my Sand Moth has the same Defense.”
“Beautiful play, Bob!” said Willy!
“Ah end mah turn.”

“Fine! I turn Sand Moth to Attack Mode and I’ll use Shield and Sword!” The classic card of coolness appeared! “I reverse all monster stats for the turn!”
“Oh no! Mah king has 0 Defense Points!” The King of Skull Servants slumped over while Sand Moth roared with confidence!
“GWOOOOAR!!!” it bellowed!
“Now, INTENSE Sand Barf!” Bob ordered. Sand Moth spat out really fast sand which splattered all over the king’s face!
“Ow!” the skeleton said. Then he blew up. (BBBB: 200 Life Points)
“Mah Life Points!” screamed Big Bad! “But it’s not over yet! Mah turn, right?”
“Turn end.” Bob said. Then Sand Moth went back to normal and fell over.
“That was a beautiful attack, Bob! You’ll win!” Willie cheered!

“Ah Summon another King a da Skull Servants!!” Another servant king arose to the field…
“Can’t you use anything else?” asked Bob. “This is your FOURTH one.”
“No--ah mean, mah king gains Attack, even fer OTHER Kings a da Skull Servantses in mah Graveyard!” The Skull Servant laughed as three souls floated around him! “He has 3000 Attack! Weak Attack, kingeh!” the baby commanded!
“Ugh!” The king slapped the moth(?!), making it blow up! (Bob: 1000 Life Points)

“Gah!” Bob gasped, covering his face from the intense explosion. “This is gonna be the last turn exchange, just so you know. I set a monster and activate Toll.” A spell with a man giving money to a soldier stood up. “I end my turn.”

Big Bad didn’t care about the spell. He just drew Rocket Jumper. “You lost!” Ah Summon Rocket Jumper to da field!” A guy made out of rocks appeared with fireworks strapped onto his back. “When you only have Defense monsters, ah can Attack directly! GO!!” The fuse on the fireworks rocket lit up.
“Are you sure?” asked Bob.
“Yeah.”
“Really?”
“Duh!”
“Really really?”
“AH’M ATTACKIN’, AND DERE’S NUTTIN YOU KIN DO TA’ STOP MEH!!” he screamed.
“OkaycausewhenyouattackTollmakesyoulose500LifePoints.” Bob said really fast.
“Huh?” Rocket Jumper exploded. (BBBB: 0 Life Points) “No, ah lost, no.” he said, not really upset. Canyon faded away.
“That game was…” Willie began.
“Beautiful?” Bob guessed.
“No, I meant to say great.”
“Okay, little boy, where’s your house?” Bob asked the baby.
“Ah don’t have a house.” Said Big Bad.
“Uh, your parents?”
“Ah don’t have parents, neither.”
“Oh. Um…want me to adopt you?”
“Boy, would ah!” Big Bad gleefully exclaimed.
“Okay, ‘cause you’re grounded.”
“HUH?!”

The west Town Cemetary was a dark, gloomy place to be. Since it was so SPOOKY, it was often nighttimey there. When it really WAS nighttime, a mysterious mist would linger throughout. People even said that the dead came back to life there. Surely NOBODY would live here…except for, oh, maybe…ZOMBIE BILL!? He lived in an equally despairing yet quaint little cottage a few yards from the place. He may not have lived in a very gloomy-looking house, but somehow it always had an evil feeling about it…

So anyways, Zombie Bill, in a pleasant mood, strolled through the cemetary with some brand-new cards in his hands. Without being caught by Sheriff Wild West Bob, he’d stolen a crazy old man’s gold! What’d he spend it on? Trading cards. He saw something in the distance, beyond the willows. Something red, almost like fire. Was it a lantern, held by Bob?

“Rrrgh…WILD WEST BOB!!” He ran toward it with angry fury. With his new cards, he was unstoppable! Once he came close enough to see his face, he skidded to a halt. This man wasn’t Bob, Willie, or even BBBB. This man had very shiny hair, and if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. It was that red. And the way it was shaped, you could tell he was an anime character, not a westerner. He wore a blazin’ yellow very over a black t-shirt, and he also had snazzy black jeans. If only his eyes weren’t so big, he would look cool.

“Who…who are you?” Bill asked.

“What a coincidence! JUST WHO I WAS LOOKING FOR!!” The challenger nearly spat on him. “I’m Flamin’ Larry! You’re ZOMIBIE BIL!!” The way he spoke made it sound like he was choking. “LET’S DUEL!!!!!” He ripped out his not-because-it-was-colored-like-the-Japanese-flag-but-because-it-looked-cool-red-and-white duel disk.

“But I-“

Larry: 4000 Life Points
Bill: 4000 Life Points

“Challenger goes first!” He drew some cards. “I summon the Volcanic Ssslicer!” Atop some corn-on-the-cob (offered to a dead guy named Joe), an armor-plated dinosaur appeared. It roared like a pterodactyl as its claws sank into the vegetable. “And now, I use Molten Destruction!!” As he held out the card, a massive volcano arose in the background. “Now all of my Fire guys gain 500 attack, but lose 400 defense!” As lava splased onto Slicer, it roared and, somehow, got enraged. “AND I USE SLICER’S ABILITY!! He does 500 damage to your Life Points! Volcanic Saliva!”

“Poh!” Slicer’s belly expanded before he launched a puny ball of fire at Zombie Bill.

“Ow! My face!” Somehow he was injured by the flames. (Bill, 3500 LP)

“I end my turn.”

“Why are you dueling me, anyways? Y-you’re not a hitman, are you?”

“NO!!!!! I’m duelin’ you because I want to, y’know, TAKE OVAH this town. And once I do…I can tax everyone and get their gold!!”

“Well,” Zombie Bill stated, “maybe since the sheriff is better than me, you should take him on first.”

“YOU TRYIN’ TO TALK ME OUTTA THIS DUEL!?!?!?”

“Not exactly, but it would make more sense.”

“YOUR TURN!!”

Zombie Bill sighed.

Back in the hustlin’ bustlin’ town of West, there was an old guy known as Jimmy “Jimbo” Jimjim. He was a semi-wealthy railroad conductor who got into a lot of accidents. Perhaps that was because he was crazy. Now, Jimmy Jimjim always kept his money in a vase by the door. Since most of it was gold, Jimmy always knew it was there by the glistening golden glow it gave off.

When Jimmy came back home from a roundtrip through nearby Kittypaw, he was shocked to find that there was a little less gold than before!

“Whatever happenda my gold?” he asked himself, pouring an equal amount into the vase. Frantically, he dialed the sheriff’s number into his old-timey phone.

Back at his house, Wild West Bob was whittling a wood figure into shape with his Whittling Knife. On a stool next to him, Big Bad Baby Boy held a block of wood and an identical knife.

“Ah’m gonna carve a Skull Servant!” The baby carelessly cut his fingertip. Blood proceeded to bleed out. “Aah! Mah finger!”

Bob lifted the materials out of the baby’s hands. “Heh heh, don’t try it ‘till you’re five, sonny.”

“Can ah have a bandage?”

“Nope! This kind of training’ll strengthen you in the fray!” Before BBBB could reply, Bob’s phone rang. “Whoop. There’s the phone.” He picked it up. “Hello, this is Sheriff Wild West Bob here. What’s the prob’m?”

“Somebody stole my gold!” Jimbo answered.

“Zombie Bill?”

“Uh y-y-y-yeah. Zombie Bill!!”

“Normally I wouldn’t believe you, but Zombie Bill? He needs what he deserves! He’s due for fourteen defeats and an arrest for life. Thanks and bye.” B ob hung up and got up from his stool. “Be right back, son. Now, don’t try anything stupid.”

“Don’t worreh. Ah won’t.” Big Bad smiled a babey smile. (Babey is an adjective!?)

“Good.” Within moments, Bob was out the door.

Zombie bill drew his next card. It was his trusty Pyramid Turtle! “I summon a card in face-down defense position!” The turtle was set. “AND NOW I USE HEAVY STORM!!” All of a sudden, a holographic twister brewed, picking up the volcano and tossing it far, far away.

“NO!! My volcano!”

“And I set another card! Your turn.”

Larry drew his next card. “I set a spell and/or trap card! Volcanic Slicer, attack! Mega Bite!”

“Aoum!” Slicer clamped down on the card, shook it a few times, then put it down. A cool turtle fell out from under it, afterwards exploding into a million pixels.

“Well, uhh-“

“LARRY!!”

“Larry…when Pyramid Turtle is destroyed, I can Special Summon a monster from my deck! But I ALSO activate my trap card! Soul Rope!”

Larry gasped.

“You see, by paying 1000 Life Points, I can attach this ‘soul rope’ to my turtle and another monster in my deck. So when you defeated my turtle, you pulled out two more monsters! Come, Soul-Absorbing Bone Towers! (Bill, 2500 LP) Two piles of bones appeared on the field, one dragged out by Pyramid Turtle’s translucent rope.

“No problem! I use Fissure!” An earthquake appeared underneath one tower, sucking it down into an endless abyss.

There goes my double SABT combo… Bill thought, disappointed. He would have to throw down an awesome plan, and fast, before Larry threw down one of his own. Luckily, he’d already thought of one.

“Your turn!”

“Bill looked at his hand: Destiny Here Defender, Kuraz the Light Monarch and Snatch Steal. Though these would certainly help him, he wanted a slightly cool finish. Heart of the cards, heart of the cards, heart of the cards… He drew Zombie Master! Yay!
“I summon the Zombie Master!” A necromancer with light blue hair and luscious lips was called out onto the field. “By discarding one card from my hand,” he explained, pulling his Defender card from the hand, “I can revive my Bone Tower! Rise from your grave!” from the graveyard rose a pile of bones, ready to rumble! “And just to make this win even more punishing, I equip your Slicer with Snatch Steal!” A picture of a guy stealing from another guy appeared. “I get to take your monster!”

“Oh, PHOOEY!!”

“Attack! Bone Collapse! Zombie Power! Mega Bite!” Zombie Master punched Larry with the power of zombies, Volcanic Slicer clamped down on his nose, and millions of bones tumbled upon him for the finishing blow.

“Aah! My PRIDE!!” (Larry, 0 Life points)

“This duel is over. Never challenge me again, Larry!”

“F-fine.”

“And, uhhhh…you are now my underling!”

“Fine!”

“Now, go to West Lake and pan some gold! We split it 80-20.”

“As long as I get some…” Flamin’ Larry grumbled, immediately accepting his fate. He walked away, still muttering to himself.

Bob rushed through the apple trees of then-modern civilization, searching for the West Town Cemetary. Soon on his journey he came across a little green duck in the road. Strangely enough, the duck had a green-and-yellow miniature duel disk on his wing.

“Quah!” he quacked.

“Huh, what?”

Sonic Duck: 4000 Life Points
Bob: 4000 Life Points