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Full Version: Saga Crest (Chapter 1 is is fully done!)(PG-15)
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Eye'm getting antsy, and due to school time, the first chapter seems like it'll take forever to finish. So, I guess I'll post the first half (which is mainly exposition) now, end it at a convenient cliffhanger, and post the rest with all the action by the end of the week. Capisci?

(Smexeh formatting will come later.)

Chapter 1 - Things Left Unsaid (Click to View)
Character Application (Click to View)
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So, yeah. I'm a bit rusty here due to not having a serious project for a while, so any crit would be appreciated.

(And Nexy, this one's staying. I've broken the curse. ;D)
Well see about that Rinny-boy... girl? Hermaphrodite? Thing?

Whatever you are, the chapter is not even finished but still interesting. I wish for there to be an app so that I may make over twelve characters for this story.

For some reason I suspect that this is related to that menasser fic you wanted character apps for but quit halfway.
I must of read atleast some of next part then.

Still good. >;3

Lack of sidekick dog disturbs me.
(10-14-2009 09:36 PM)Nexev Wrote: [ -> ]Well see about that Rinny-boy... girl? Hermaphrodite? Thing?

Whatever you are, the chapter is not even finished but still interesting. I wish for there to be an app so that I may make over twelve characters for this story.

For some reason I suspect that this is related to that menasser fic you wanted character apps for but quit halfway.

I'll put up a character app when I finish the chapter. And I didn't notice the Menasser connection, but I could do something with that...

(10-15-2009 08:48 AM)Fenrir Wrote: [ -> ]I must of read atleast some of next part then.

Still good. >;3

Lack of sidekick dog disturbs me.

Possible Plot Spoiler for Later (Click to View)
I liked it. Although (in my opinion) I believe your using too much detail and too complicated words. I know your avoiding redundancy but try keeping it simple.

Everything else, is Magical. (^_^)

Hope you'll make more.
Rinne, does Ferret = Dog?

Ferret =/= Dog
Well, having read most of it before, I can only say this: Keep it up, because you've got something great going for you.
*wipes sweat from brow*

Chapter 1 is finally done, and my humble little story is already at around 8000 words. I must've really been working overtime on that one. Anyhoo, I'm putting up a character submission form, but be aware that I'm not necessarily using all parts of you character in the way you might want. Post or PM; I really don't care.
I can't wait for the form! Keep it up, this story will get epicly climatic.
My cliche sense are tingling.

But, I suppose I'll make an assistance char. :3
(10-18-2009 02:49 PM)Fenrir Wrote: [ -> ]My cliche sense are tingling.

But, I suppose I'll make an assistance char. :3

This isn't supposed to be entirely original, it's supposed to be something I can run with. I've actually thought through this one, and there will be plot twists. :3
(10-18-2009 02:56 PM)Rinne Wrote: [ -> ]
(10-18-2009 02:49 PM)Fenrir Wrote: [ -> ]My cliche sense are tingling.

But, I suppose I'll make an assistance char. :3

This isn't supposed to be entirely original, it's supposed to be something I can run with. I've actually thought through this one, and there will be plot twists. :3

Yippe~

Although, I love the whole lore you have going on here. Very interesting.
Name: Clarince Duval
Age: 15
Clothing: He in normal life wears a blue jacket with hood always on, & Jeans, so none of his body is seen except his hand. In other situations is cloaked in a Organization XIII-like cloak. His face will be posted at a later date.
Personality: He is normally cold & calm. He, in very rare cases, has two other split personalities. He is crazy & mad in Sealed Form, & Happy & Calm when things go as plan. In the face of death, he takes it smooth & easy, fighting until the end, when blood is shed.
Crest Tool: A dual-blade sword. It has the power of fast electricity, & very late, the other side of the blade uses Ice.
Sealed Form: He is calm & cold in this. He dosen't fight unless when having to. When he does, it's the opposite of his Released Form. He doesn't attack alot, but when he does, it's rare but powerful.
Released Form: It is very hard to be unleashed. While his power is weak, he has fast speeds & can hit numerous attacks in one go. It takes a while to wear off, but when it does, he is weak & needs protection.
Abilities: He is good with luck. He, when in a chance position, always makes it.
Name:
Age: James Saute
Gender: Male
Clothing: James wears a white chef uniform with a red cross on the left shoulder. Carries a large first aid kit strapped to his back that contains food and medical supplies.
Personality: James is a kind person who enjoys helping others. He loves cooking and tries to get people to taste his food. He is skilled at it but since he is always trying new things his recipes keep getting more bizarre and sometimes you do not want to know what's in the food. (One time he served fried bull testicles). James dreams of being a hero like his mother Julia Saute and uses her crest tool. However he gets nervous easily and can't fight very well so he dedicated himself into helping aid people with food and medicine.
Crest Tool: James crest tool is named Gourmet and he carries it with him in a holster. The crest tool can communicate with him directly, speaks in a french accent and usually criticizes anything James does wrong.
Sealed Form: James crest tool assumes the form of a spatula. Nothing much to look at except that it's wooden with a plastic handle.
Released Form: James item turns into a kitchen knife. Food prepared using this knife, (even if he just niched a piece of fruit) gain supernatural effects based on nutrients and flavor. ost of the time the food just energizes you and makes you faster and stronger but if the food has a stand out quality that qualities power gets exaggerated to supernatural proportions.
Abilities: He is one hell of a cook. He is also an experienced medic and can perform any medical that is not major surgery. Finally he is attustimed to disgusting smells and flavors so he can eat virtually anything as long as it can be swallowed.
By posting this form, I give Rinne permission to edit or alter my character as seen fit.
Name: Holland Dilgear
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Clothing: Holland sports a brown bomber's jacket, with a dark green undershirt. From that, a pair of odd jeans are visible, with dark grey loafers. Sometime she might have a short rimmed brown cowboy hat to hide his messy blonde hair.
Personality: He's a rather straight forward individual, and is quite tenacious. Being the blunt individual that he is, it isn't rare for him to embarrass himself or others. Although he's quite blunt, he won't go to the extremes. (Ie: If he happens to like someone, he won't go out of his way to tell them.) He understands boundaries and usually doesn't pester people over trivial matters.
Crest Tool: Holland's crest tool goes by the name of Silver. Silver is a lax fellow, and is calm in any situation.
Sealed Form: His sealed form is a .50 cal Desert Eagle. Silver can actually fire, and Holland stores some cartridges in his pockets.
Released Form: His released form is a large metallic eagle. Silver is as large as a small house, and is crudely constructed. Human size pods are barely visible under plates that cover his body like feathers.
Abilities: Silver can draw in air to his chest, which resembles a crude engine. The air is messed around in there, he can then expel it from his wings to enhance his flight speed. The light blue pods can store people, for long distance flights.
By posting this form, I give Rinne permission to edit or alter my character as seen fit.
Thank you to all of you guys who've submitted apps. I'll try to work your charries in, one way or another. I'll start on Chapter 2 this weekend, but it'll be shorter than Chapter 1; I'm aiming to cut it at 4000 words. ;D
I have a major architecture project due this week which just came up, so Chapter 2 will be a bit longer delayed. I promise I haven't dropped this, though. Sorry. D:
I'm fine. I'm happy as hell because we get 3 days for fun, as half my Grade is at Earthshine starting tomorrow.
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