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This is my first Fan-Fic I'm posting hope you like it!

Chapter 1: Welcome to the Academy (Click to View)

That's my Fan-Fic. Rate it please!
Chapter 2 is up

Chapter 2: Meeting of the Minds (Click to View)
no offence but makes no sence and are most the cards the cards you made.If yes then with the chapter could you show the card.

Overall for a first fan fic it was ok.
Thanks Destruction Hero I'm just working into it so it's gonna take a while.

EDIT: This so needs a weather report!
Well, here you are...

1. NAMES! Jaden Yuden? Really? Where's Chazz Princington? Or Alexis Rhobes? Use more original names! That way it doesn't seem so flat.

2. COMMAS! Use one once in a while! It's just strait sentences! Try reading out loud one of your sentences without stopping. People will get tired of reading a big long sentence with no break...

3. DESCRIPTIONS! Where are they?! This is more of a script, all talking and barely any actions! What do the characters look like? AND WHERE ARE THEY DUELING?! At the bottom of the sea, in mid air, or in space?! Spice up the story with some decent descriptions and actions of the characters. ERROR ERROR.

I'm not that epic as WeatherReport-dono, but I try.

With all due respect,
ThePhantomDuelist
Again thanks yeah now I'm gonna throw in something better then that. As a matter of a fact I'm the opposite of Frunk I hate commas.
I look forward to more. If you need some ideas, try reading other people's fan fics, it helps... But don't steal ideas! XD
I know not to steal ideas I've read through the rules a couple times I'm just working on editing and are you saying that I have stolen work or just telling me not to steal work.
It's so tewibul. Where's Kendo Pish or Weva Weport wite naw?
That's what I'm hoping I bet you there caught up on doing stuff like school which I have to but I have more free time. Where are you weather report I need your weather report.
EDIT: AND KENDO FISH LIKE THE GUY BELOW ME SAID.
Kendo is perfectly capable of doing one as well. What Phantom said, also. You might as well have called Jaden 'Gee-eex Rip-off'
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