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Full Version: The Shades of Justice [PG-13] [Chapter 1 Is Finally Up]
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Right. This is a little story I am working up, and it is currently in the stage where I make it up as I go.
I will place a short summary of the story once Chapter 3 (or maybe 2) is finished.
And yes, my writing sucks.
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Chapter 1 - Chess (Click to View)

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Chapter One is Finished, Chapter 2 will take about a week or two to finish.
not really a fanfic aless this is a story I neverheard about. Anyways, it is pretty good. I can't wait for the next part.
Thanks. And no, this isn't a fanfic. Just a story I made up. Still working on the first chapter, will be done by this weekend. (Hopefully)
Bump.

Expect a part of the chapter added this weekend. Probably not all of it, however.
Bump once again. Still not finished, but I thought I'll post more of chapter 1.
Bump.
Bump.
Bump.
Bump.
WAA NO ONE IS REVIEWING... Sad

It could be a lot worse. I think the title is turning people off, though; insofar as I can tell, an English translation would be "Equalilty Truuth," misspelling included.

As a prologue, it's downright riveting, though the very beginning is a bit exposition-heavy. You've created an excellent setting, though, and if you can develop your characters the same way in future chapters, I'll be able to look forward to an excellent read.
(11-15-2009 02:10 PM)Supreme Gamesmaster Wrote: [ -> ]WAA NO ONE IS REVIEWING... Sad

It could be a lot worse. I think the title is turning people off, though; insofar as I can tell, an English translation would be "Equalilty Truuth," misspelling included.

As a prologue, it's downright riveting, though the very beginning is a bit exposition-heavy. You've created an excellent setting, though, and if you can develop your characters the same way in future chapters, I'll be able to look forward to an excellent read.

Chapter 1 isn't even finished yet - I was going to let it sit until someone would actually post. Thanks for posting.

I'm getting most of the exposition out of the way in the chapter because you need to know a lot to understand stuff later. I understand that the paragraph blocks could scare people away, but that sadly is something I'll have to live with.

I'll change the name. Suggestions?
You're welcome.
Aequitas Veritasque? Literally "Equality and Truth
Thanks for the suggestion, but decided with "Shades of Justice"

I plan on updating most if not all of the next chapter Wednesday.
I finally finished Chapter 1, and Chapter 2 will take a bit to write. For those of you who actually READ this, I placed a little "thing" at the end of chapter 1, something that will hint what will be the main subject of Chapter 2.

Let's see you can catch it. ;D
An error that may or may not be intentional (Click to View)
Coolio, though. You have an excellent quality in an author in that you have a sense of strategy; your characters can only be as smart as you are, after all, but I doubt you'll struggle with that.
The error is unattentional. And thanks.

The little "thingy" I added is actually somewhere in the last three paragraphs. It is extremely small, but it relates with something while Tom was the main subject in the alley.
Bumpy.
Bump.
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