Bleach-Destruction Is Imment- Edited

[Curse Sasuke]

Chapter One (Click to View)

Setting:A misty day in the soul society(after Backround Setting in Heuco Mundo) several years before the original planning of the war, it still hasnt happened.
Backround Info:Captain Hitsugaya has been issued orders by Head Captain Yamamoto to infiltrate Heuco Mundo and destroy the Menos Forest, which has been producing mass numbers of menos and hollows.


"Hmm." Hitsugaya said to himself quietly "I better do this quick" he said loudly as he plunged his Zahnpakto into the sand freezing everything around it and under it. "I don't think that was the end of that, i better get out of here." he said in his head.

Just then a small army of menos were behind him, but not just menos, menos with Grimmjow.

"Crap, I thought there were more of you, oh well you will die anyway." Grimmjow said harshly.

All of a sudden the menos formed a circle and grimmjow appeared in the center by Hitsugaya.

"C'mon test me." he said drawing his sword, "Or would you rather I just kill you know."

Hitsugaya drew Hyorinmaru, instaneausly the two of them were in a clash of blades. Fighting so fast they would appear for a brief moment and be gone.

"Is that all you got soul reaper, I thought you Captains were supposed to be tough! But you have got to be the weakest of them all." said Grimmjow

"I am tough and I will kill you Bankai!"

And suddenly Hitsugaya's bankai was sending out such strong spiritual pressure it nearly forced Grimmjow's blade from his hand. Hitsugaya appeared behind Grimmjow.

"Your done." Hitsugaya said.

Just as Hitsugaya slashed his blade he had a flashback to the time when he first met momo, then he remembered Aizens actions and his blade became more swift and trails of light ice flew off his blade like tears.

"I won't finish you, I will let another soul reaper, your best friend Ichigo."

The End

[Fenrir]

(09-23-2009 11:18 PM)Captain Hitsugiya Wrote:  Setting:A misty day in the soul society(after Backround Setting in Heuco Mundo)
Backround Info:Captain Hitsugaya has been issued orders by Head Captain Yamamoto to infiltrate Heuco Mundo and destroy the Menos Forest, which has been producing mass numbers of menos and hollows.

Would be nice to know when exactly this takes place. All you gave us was the location and basic plot.

"Okay lets do this fast." Hitsugaya said to himself quietly "I will eliminate them all!" he said loudly as he plunged his Zahnpakto into the sand freezing everything around it and under it. "Done, that was unexpectedly easy.


First of all, I'm pretty sure Hitsugaya's Zanpakuto is not capable of that. Atleast, yet. Another thing, out of character much? Hitsugaya is more of the quiet type, unless he's pissed off. (Like when Aizen nearly killed Momo)

When all of a sudden two Espada appeared behind him, they were Ulquiorra and Grimmjow.

"Hello Soul Reaper Prepare to die!" Grimmjow said while they both prepped a cero and fired.

lolwut? Grimmjow wouldn't be caught dead working with Ulquiorra.

Just then Ichigo,Rukia, and Renji appeared.

"You Idiot what were you thinking not bringing back up!" Renji said angrly

"I know seriously do you want to die." Ichigo said

"I was fine on my own." Hitsugaya said annoyed

"We are leaving Captain Hitsugaya." Rukia said athoritatively "Now!"

Wait, what? How the f*** did they just appear randomly? Also, horrible grammar, I believe a comma would go somewhere in Ichigo's line. Not to mention a question mark. >> Also, when did Rukia suddenly have authority over Hitsugaya? Hitsugaya is a Captain, Rukia is not even SEATED.

And suddenly the portal back to the soul society was opened. And they where back in the soul society.

Again, randomness.

As soon as they got back there was an unknown soul reaper giving them a letter that read: Rukia,Ichigo,Renji, and Captain Hitsugaya please come see me. Signed Head Captain Yamamoto.

Why would Yamamoto want to see Rukia or Renji? I can understand him summoning Hitsugaya, and maybe Ichigo, but seriously.

The End...For Now.

All in all, pretty bad.

You need to brush up on your grammar, Bleach, and not to mention writing.

[Captain_Angelo3]

WELL i agree Grimmjow just doesnt pop up and do a cero
thee menos forestwouldnt matter to the Espada
Ulquiorra wouldnt work with GRimmjow or use his cero that quick he isnt like that he is the quiet calm and depressing type not the show up and kill you type.
but overall its not great but its not bad

[Kendo Fish]

All that and gee, I wonder who HITSUGIYA is. Definitely not HITSUGAYA. And what's a ZAHNPAKUTO? I thought it was either ZANPAKUTO or ZANPAKU-TO.

All in all, pretty GROSS. SERIOUSLY, read books. They're good for you.

[Curse Sasuke]

its a f****ng fan fic it isnt supposed to be entirly accurate

[Fenrir]

(09-24-2009 08:10 PM)Captain Hitsugiya Wrote:  its a f****ng fan fic it isnt supposed to be entirly accurate

It IS supposed to be accurate on the fandom you're writing about.

You can't just make up shiz, especially if it's Bleach.

[Curse Sasuke]

ya i know sorry

[Alucard]

many plot holes

[deept97]

has potential
needs work though
work on fixing the grammar and the plot holes
an keep the characters more in character
it'll shape up