Reinforce Posted October 18, 2012 Report Share Posted October 18, 2012 Interesting duels, Daiki vs Asami wasn't as good, simply because I didn't know how the gimmick puppet series works but Clarissa vs Evols was well done in my opinion. I see the significance of Adreus and Tiras and Swordbreaker was a good addition, but Thunderspark Dragon just didn't seem to fit in well with Evols deck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vector Nightmare Posted October 19, 2012 Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 One of my beefs with the last chapter, was that Asami and Evos felt kind of stupid. The more I thought about it, the more the 'oh well they had no choice but to duel' that my mind had kind of defaulted to seemed weak reasoning. Because there were obviously some things they could have done to avoid direct confrontation and either stall or otherwise incapacitate Daiki and Clarissa despite their protection. So yeah, Asami and Evos were the ones who handpicked the best possible duelists in the nation. And then they just went 'Oh hey, let's have a duel to death with them, I'm sure nothing can go wrong with [I]that[/I].' That kind of attitude could be expected from Asami, but Evos was a different story. Then I began to think they might have rigged the duel somehow. But admittedly I did not expect taking it as far as pre-planning the order of their decks. That's kinda hardcore cheating, plus I'd really have expected that if they were able to do that, they should've just loaded their first hand with an FTK. Ah well, I guess... it just seems to me like you could have handled this aspect a bit more gently. I'll get back to the duels later. The chapter begins with Garvan and Natsumi, two characters from technically opposing sides, but probably the most 'grey' characters in either side. Those two had not been shown together much, and they had been pushed aside for a while, so pitting them together now is a refreshing choice. You have a certain knack for depicting the behavior of characters who hate or at least dislike each other, and yet are working together, in an interesting way. Such is the case here. So Garvan and Natsumi are probably the ones to strike the first blow against the Riders, while Jin and Sakura seem more inclined to go and support the fight against Murtagh. Though with Murtagh's group now kinda down to one, I'd probably have expected the pair to be send off to the Apocalypse hunt, but they can do well in either role. Also, Heart EartH and its Dragon for the leader of the Apocalypse, calling it now. Before returning to the duels, I will go over the last unrelated paragraph, featuring Junichi and Tarao. Well, Tarao being a completely heartless bastard who'd even throw away his own son shouldn't come off as a surprise to anyone. I'm really sensing the Fygmorke / Demon dynamic here. On the other hand Junichi is practically assured to get a redemption in some way. The most important revelation here is that Tarao will be personally throwing cards around at some point. The question is against whom. Likely candidates are his son or Hideo, or both, but I feel we might see something more here. Well, at least now the entire government group is on the move, so developments in that area can only follow. And now, onto the main course. The two duels initiated in the previous chapter continue here, full-blown. Daiki versus Asami... really didn't do much for me, sadly. As I mentioned before, there's really not much synergy between the two. I mean, even Asami's declarations and revelation about her not being able to have a child... have really much smaller impact, than they would have if the recipient had been Clarissa. Well, onto the playing stuff, Daiki pulls some mcgyver moves to destroy Giant Killer in an as unconventional fashion as possible. I really like it when something like this happens, and Sword Breaker turn was one of my favorite moves in the entire story so far actually. But quite predictably, Asami launches an immediate counterattack with the second Gimmick Puppet Number. This time it seems Daiki won't be able to escape that easily. I also liked the part about Asami's trap not being Gimmick Box, and playing with Daiki's fear. But thanks to Asami's arrogance, Daiki is given one more turn, and everyone knows that will be the turn where he turns the tables on her monster. We have an innovative XYZ Summon of Tiras, and of course, utilization of Asami's foolishly summoned Archfiends. In the end, I think that even if this duel wasn't great dynamics-wise, Daiki's moves saved it from being rather bland. In the end... after revealing the fact that she had been cheating all along, and failing to pull her final trick, Asami just... vanishes. This really kinda killed the whole point, as we find out that Asami could've just escaped from the beginning and... yeah. That was kinda bad. But as you had probably already realized by that point, having Daiki finish off Asami would... not have much of a point really. Comparatively, Clarissa versus Evos rides a lot more on character dynamic and interaction. Evos who is trying to keep his cool and establish his superiority, against Clarissa, whose sheer fury plows through his prized logic and reasoning. Evos, who is used to being in control based on hard, undeniable principles, finds all control slipping away from him before Clarissa's onslaught. And also it is revealed that Evos is really just creepy. It becomes quickly apparent that there is no way Evos is going to last through the chapter. The duel is engaging enough anyway. Clarissa's tactics are much more straightforward than Daiki's, which befits her personality and the pacing of the duel. This culminates in Clarissa bringing out Gasath in a truly epic fashion, which practically curbstomps the good doctor until he pulls the most crazy reversal in the history of... well f*** it, we've seen worse. But that kinda gave away the cheating. Not the fact that someone pulled such an unlikely move, even if that someone is, unusually enough, a bad guy. But Evos' actions during the whole thing - or rather, lack thereof - made it obvious that dirty play was involved. Anyway, so Evos summons 91, which is pretty nice. Clarissa finds herself pretty much screwed, ready to give up. This part I didn't quite like, because it didn't really feel [I]her[/I]. At any rate, Daiki, right after wrapping things up with Asami, unwittingly gives Clarissa a nice inspirational boost and the will to stand back up. What a guy. So Clarissa regains her fighting spirit and shoves her own reversal up the doctor's hiney, in a pretty nice mirroring of Daiki's final move. And as the duel ends, unloads a hail of bullets into his head for good measure. That's why Clarissa is my favorite character. Overall, the duels were great. Clarissa's was a lot higher overall due to character synergy, but Daiki's made up with tactical moves. I hate you for using Adreus and Tiras symbolically like that, because it kinda dumps on something I had planned, but ah well. In the end... just when I had thought that Asami had lived for Clarissa to get her claws on her next time... she instantly reappears. And promptly finds herself on the receiving end of a pretty nasty Dragon Rage. She should have [I]probably[/I] anticipated Murtagh finding the truth, and could've planned it out better but, that's how she rolls, and in the end her death is pretty nasty and well-deserved. Another of your knacks - writing unlikeable characters, then killing them off in rather satisfying fashions. So Izura's death has apparently changed Murtagh sufficiently, and he now has a plan involving Daiki and Clarissa. Use them to settle the problem with Kaneko? Ally with them in some way? In general, the feeling this chapter gives is that the two sides will be banding together in some fashion against an external enemy. First we have Evos and Asami, who are the more devoted supporters of Murtagh's plan, eliminated. Garvan and Natsumi working together. And Murtagh showing signs of change following Izura's death, and him approaching Daiki and Clarissa with non-instakill intentions. I'd probably not go as far as to say that the two groups will become complete allies and band together fully against the Riders of the Apocalypse and their leader. But some form of cooperation is already happening and in the end, Murtagh may pull a Demon on us. I... am not sure how I'd feel if that was the case. Murtagh is actually pretty archetypally similar to Demon, and it certainly did work with that guy. But 24 is already kinda loaded with side-switching. So yeah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 19, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 [quote name='Simdoggy' timestamp='1350603338' post='6047760'] Interesting duels, Daiki vs Asami wasn't as good, simply because I didn't know how the gimmick puppet series works but Clarissa vs Evols was well done in my opinion. I see the significance of Adreus and Tiras and Swordbreaker was a good addition, but Thunderspark Dragon just didn't seem to fit in well with Evols deck. [/quote] Gimmick Puppets = Spam weak level 8's, destroy everything with burn, gloat. I'm... genuinely surprised with Thunderspark's lack of reception. I was thinking everyone would be all "you dirty bastard Evos, using Wilhelm's Number!!" Guess this is punishment for taking so long, everyone's forgotten [quote name='~ Epic Hero - Saber ~' timestamp='1350619151' post='6047923'] Another huge and amazing review [/quote] Thanks again for review. Um, I think I've probably miswritten this somewhere, but only Asami was cheating. Evos just topdecked spectacularly :S. Sorry I made a mess of that. Yes I know what you mean about 'you've organised your deck... to draw Enhanced Space?' and not 'oh look, the top five cards of my deck are all Exodia pieces' That is kinda sus. While Natsumi is meant to be an enigma whose intentions remain unclear and be a bit of a lone wolf, I admit Garvan has definately been neglected too much for a major character. Glad their pairing is something to look forward. Surprised no-one commented on Jurraks attacking; things like this are about to become a lot more regular (mwahahaha). You sense something in the water's with the Hideo/Tarao/Mai/Junichi story, and rightly so. Watch this space. Well I had to back up Asami's 'yeah I picked you as the best' with some smarty pants moves didn't I? Glad the duel was a technically good exhibition of moves. Think my favourite part surprisingly was the unorthodox escape of Giant Killer/Baby Face using DD Crevice, whereas a year ago I'd just generically Damage Polarize or something. Actually getting it in my head now that the protagonist has to get their LP on the brink more times than not to get the excitement going. Yeah Asami misplayed (not going to be the first moment like this annoyingly ), I was kinda hoping Dai and her's exchanges on playing on each others mentalities would cover that up. Think Clarissa vs Evos is one of my favourite duels simply for Evos summoning four Xyz monsters in four turns, including two Evolkaisers and two Numbers, and still losing. Because Clarissa is just that good darling. But yeah, he is a few chemicals sort of a full chemistry set. Think I missed the meaning of 'Evos' lack of actions' comment though, sorry I don't understand? You mean he was a bit too collected and sure of himself? I've wanted to write that bit with Clarissa breaking down with a blaze of bullets in Evos' carcass for soooooooooo long. It just felt great to do and glad you liked it. I was hoping for a cooler one-liner for Murtagh when he did that, but yeah Asami deserved it. As for what will happen next, questions questions, questions. But the death toll is starting to rise rather rapidly, and its going to get worse across the world. Yeah, improvement still needed personally. Well fingers crossed for the next two chapters. In the mean time that's plenty of time for speculation, and other people to comment. I want more comments. [spoiler=MOAR!!!][media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdTGVvOlgDw[/media][/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canopy Star - Eon Sphere Posted October 19, 2012 Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 Wow, nice conclusions to the duels I had been so eagerly awaiting. 91 made its unexpected appearance, but it wasn't so much shocking as 'Oh yeah, I remember that,'. The Gimmick Puppets have come and gone, sadly (I always liked 88) but honestly I can imagine that they aren't all that interesting to write. That's probably why [s]IV[/s] Quatro only had 3 duels, in which he summoned the same Numbers over and over and over... The conclusions were good, and without the Numbers the Keepers make good bosses, if a little inconvenient given their decks. I kinda wanted Asami to get finished in a duel as payback for the thrashing she gave the three in the last arc. Guess we know how she did that now, don't we?But Murtagh killing her a la Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (not Raiders) was karmic and made me smile a little. Keep going, I await moar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 20, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 One comment in 24 hours? I said FEED ME MOAR!!! [quote name='The Seal of Eon' timestamp='1350670696' post='6048208'] Wow, nice conclusions to the duels I had been so eagerly awaiting. 91 made its unexpected appearance, but it wasn't so much shocking as 'Oh yeah, I remember that,'. The Gimmick Puppets have come and gone, sadly (I always liked 88) but honestly I can imagine that they aren't all that interesting to write. That's probably why IV [s]Quatro[/s] only had 3 duels, in which he summoned the same Numbers over and over and over... The conclusions were good, and without the Numbers the Keepers make good bosses, if a little inconvenient given their decks. I kinda wanted Asami to get finished in a duel as payback for the thrashing she gave the three in the last arc. Guess we know how she did that now, don't we?But Murtagh killing her a la Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (not Raiders) was karmic and made me smile a little. Keep going, I await moar. [/quote] Thanks man. Do not critise IV, or recieve my FANSERVICE!!! But yeah, he was kinda bland in terms of actual duelling aside from his psychotic character (that wasn't psycho really, he was made to do it ). Still maintain some of the puppets should have been released; Necro Doll, Junk Puppet and Nightmare (although unused here) were all decent cards. Well, they're not the most dropable in either deck, but they both have methods. So much for Level 3 warrior spam Daiki Oh yeah, million year aging in seconds did happen to that guy in the Last Crusade (Raiders, Renade and Nazi friends more melted I guess). Was a bit terrifiying. Yeah, will try and get the hammer down on the rest of it next week. Next chapter up Tuesday. In the meantime guys, stop leaving the comments to the same seven guys all the time. I know there are more readers out there, I've caught you reading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Rai Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 Totally sorry, Matt Caught up on the story for the most part. I won't go into a giant critique, but I think the writing is impressive and captivating. So glad I did catch up on it. Hope you're still enjoying the writing and not getting infuriated by duels :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 22, 2012 [quote name='.Rai' timestamp='1350861828' post='6050193'] Totally sorry, Matt Caught up on the story for the most part. I won't go into a giant critique, but I think the writing is impressive and captivating. So glad I did catch up on it. Hope you're still enjoying the writing and not getting infuriated by duels :3 [/quote] S'all right I guess . Glad it was worth the catchup for you, I enjoy writing and enjoy people enjoying it. Critique doesn't have to be massive analysis of everything, just the odd commment is encouraging with a 'this was good/favourite bit' or 'that could have been better/wasn't as good' is all I ever really want. But yeah, I know I moan.... well I can't help it I'm a miserable bugger alright? Well now we have another reader up to date I had better get working huh? Final duel is almost done, literally just need to confirm two cards to drop into place and it's more a case of picking something that does the job and is a bit interesting than anything. As for the rest of the chapter and events going on aside from card games... erm.... :S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reinforce Posted October 22, 2012 Report Share Posted October 22, 2012 Nothing wrong with a good bit of moaning from time to time. And hey, if moaning about it makes you feel better, than go ahead, moan away. Good to hear you're still enjoying writing though, it wouldn't be very good if you had gone off it and stopped feeding us the chapters. I'm not sure what I'll do when this finishes, my whole reason for checking the Creative Writing section is to check over this thread and read new chapters on it every so often when they come out. Good luck with it, and keep going, you've reached about the final stretch to the end of another good story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2012 I say all that having written barely anything for two weeks, just planned half of what's left (the duel half, not much on the everything else half). Still last week there was a lot of other stuff on, and most of it was pretty crappy. Holiday in a few weeks, hallelujah. Starting writing that tomorrow, so to save myself the distraction (and while there are more users online who might [b]comment[/b] ) I'm going to post this before I go to bed. Enjoy. [spoiler=Chapter 21:1][b]The following takes place between 5AM and 6AM[/b] Morning would not break over Japan. Where the first rays of light might normally be peeking out over the horizon, this harrowing day they would be blocked out and eternally absorbed by the ever present dark star overshadowing most of Asia in its eternal night. Still the unconscious ones in the hospital beds, some now in their eighteenth hour of comatose, continued to sleep unaware of what was happening. As one of the few remaining doctors staggered down the ward through the sparking machinery, supporting himself as an explosion outside shook the buildings foundations, the victims of the initial outbreak continued to sleep unresponsive. Some of their family were cowering beside their loved ones, others had become equally still. All around them was sheer madness, he had to get them to somewhere safe, although he suspected nowhere was safe now. There was a scream and the doctor spun, his heart stopped as he came face to face with the fanged grin of [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Fabled_Valkyrus"]Demonic Roar God Valkyrus[/url], the hellish king of the fiends breaking through the outer wall like it was nothing. Laughing darkly at the grub before him, the king unsheathed its sword with a clawed hand, and released its unholy essence with its swing. Three dozen people immediately disintegrated into particles, painlessly obliterated from existence. Across the city, gunshots and grenade fire mangled with beast like screams as scattered government agents, along with a few remaining police forces, battled a [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Malefic_Cyber_End_Dragon"]Cyber End Sin Dragon[/url]. Amongst those fighting was Ryokan Shigeo, the commanding director of the police force now bloodshot and bleary eyed, desperately shouting for his men to fall back as the enraged and unharmed dragon pulled back its three heads, a ball of dark energy building in each set of jaws. Three shots fired, three explosions, and total silence. Similar scenes graced the rest of the world. American forces, for all their might, struggled against the alien invaders setting ablaze to their eastern cities; their monstrous [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Worm_King"]king[/url] leading the slaughter, in the west the fiery legions of hell marched upon them in droves as one after another came from the cracks in the earth, lead by their own [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Ancient_Flamvell_Deity"]god of fire[/url]. British tanks crawled through the city streets towards much larger machines tearing up the buildings and took fire. There was a moments success as the high calibre rounds took down one giant [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Ally_of_Justice_Catastor"]machine in silver armour[/url], catching it unawares as it fell to the ground, but once alert its allies raised their force-fields to protect themselves and advanced towards them, the laser fire of another silver destroyer on clawed legs cutting through the tanks before they could retreat. Chaos and death were all that existed now, a plague spreading across the entire world as millions were steadily erased. In another realm, from his throne room, a being in colourless crystal armour continued to passively watch it all, his helmet rested on his armoured, interlocked fingers. He did not move even as a figure in tight black armour and a billowing coat approached and stood to attention behind him. “Your report Famine.” “My brother, all defences complete. War has everything prepared for invasion. How is progress?” “Good. Everything is exactly as foretold; the world is paying for its sins as the final judgement sweeps across it. Soon the end will be upon it, and everything shall be reduced to the nothingness and pulled back into the abyss it came from. Very soon, everything will fall into darkness and the sins purged.” Famine nodded and turned to leave at the silent dismissal of his still brother. However, something made him hesitant. Something he had to ask. “I have one question sir. What of our other brother, the white horseman? He carries out his orders, but he is too quiet, too secluded in his own thoughts. War feels the same. Are you certain about him?” There was an awkward pause as the pale horseman rumbled to himself. “You question my judgement?” “No sir, I question his motives for joining us. I fear he is not of one mind like the three of us.” “The white horseman’s loyalty to the cause is as resolute as the rest of us. He is different to you and War in your circumstances and backgrounds, but we are all equal parts in this machine. He will not let us down when the time to fight comes, for it no doubt will come, so fear not. Death always prevails.” Bowing once more, Famine left Death to observe the chaos once more. ...05:01:22... The sudden and harsh teleport made Clarissa feel dizzy for a few moments. After a whirlwind few events which had already left her emotionally exhausted, being forcibly warped across a giant palace left her even more scrambled. Shaking her head clear, she studied the barren throne room they had arrived in. Daiki was just beside her, still supporting her as he likewise recovered. He looked dreadful, still carrying the scars of his battle with Asami. Still even carrying marks from where she and her subordinates had beaten him. But still he kept going. Across the room, the decor was grand if sparse and spread out across the large room, better lit by the crimson sky outside than the darkness that had entombed them for hours. Murtagh was pacing a slight way away, not paying the slightest attention to them. He looked preoccupied. Still she couldn’t help but instinctively draw arms towards him. “Alright. Where is Kaneko?” Murtagh didn’t even look at her. He simply shook his head and waved a hand aimlessly in her direction while continually pacing. Clarissa gasped as the weapon in her hands simply turned to dust. Panicked she looked at Daiki, who was similarly petrified. [i]‘We have to fight that? He can reduce us to nothing at the bat of an eyelid whenever he wants. What on earth do we do?’[/i] “I can see why you two were approved as the parents for Project Eve” Murtagh interrupted their silence, albeit still not stopping with his circular march. “If I didn’t know better I’d say Real Duel had done some more of its freak experiments on you to make you into some kind of perfect soldiers. Don’t worry, they won’t have done that.” He was not amused by their sudden horrified reactions to his suggestion. “They wanted you to disappear into regular lives remember? But you two just can’t do that. You have a cause, and you’ll fight for it until you either succeed or die. Guess we’re similar in that regard, amongst others.” “We’re nothing like you” Clarissa spat. “Now where is Kaneko damn it?!” “Generic reply. Luckily for you I’m a bit calmer now I’ve got that woman out of my system, although you might be advised not to push me.” The glowing aura of heat generated in his claws emphasised his point. “I watched the latter parts of your duels. Very skilfully done, and I see you got those cards that connect you to Kaneko at last. She was hesitant in her answers when I questioned her, so I did wonder. The strength they gave you, that will help. There are stronger enemies in your path than the good doctor and that woman, who presumably don’t need to cheat. You should know I despise cheats.” Daiki blinked as the dragonic deity looked at him, and something that had puzzled him clicked. “That aura when Asami wanted to draw Black Hole? That was you?” Murtagh nodded. “Why did you do that?” “Just my little joke. Asami lost to you by forfeit by fleeing, thus she lost her Numbers protection as well. But she got what she deserved. She was my queen once, but not after what she did to my sister. Izura” he added to clarify the pair’s confused look. “Me and my little sister were orphaned while very young. Izura had offers for adoption, but was insistent she would not leave without me at first, because she was worried about me and the violent state of mind that I was already displaying. Mostly anger at being abandoned I guess. She kept trying to help me, but I kept pushing her away. Eventually we fought, and she stopped trying, before going into a family and left me. We didn’t even speak until a few years ago, after everything that happened. Funny that you can’t appreciate what you’ve got until it’s gone...” Murtagh broke off for a moment and stopped pacing, perhaps to reminisce on what might have been for a moment, but he quickly gathered himself. “Anyway, like I said, you just won’t give up in the face of any fear or horror. That should see you well in what I have in store for you two. See, I have a job for you.” “You... want us to do something for you?” Daiki repeated, sure he’d misheard. “What would you need us to do? What’s going on?” “Allow me to explain. You remember the Number Converter right? The machine I used to merge the world with the virtual realm to create this current state using the Numbers and Kaneko’s power?” They did, all too well. With the raise of a hand, another projection like the one Asami had created appeared in mid air. There was the dark machine, now engulfed completely in a strange flaming aura and shuddering slightly. And still chained to the front, asleep and looking extremely weak, was Kaneko. “Kaneko!” Horrified by the image, Clarissa rounded on the passive Murtagh. “Let her go you monster!” “I don’t think that would be a very good idea” he replied coldly. “You see Kaneko and the Numbers are still powering the converter as it tries to complete the merging, trying to keep it going. But someone has stopped it completing, leaving the world in a precarious state of imbalance.” The image changed, to display something that looked like a black hole, a rip in reality that was pulling everything around it into it. “That someone has four Numbers which Kaneko cannot recover, thus leaving the grid incomplete, thus the converter continues to struggle to complete its function and begins to fail. As the last two hours have passed these rips have become more frequent and powerful. If the converter was to break and fail completely, the world will become even more unstable. That’s why the grid is automated in the way it deals out and takes back Numbers from my minions, and why I’d rather not take Kaneko off of it.” “Bah, so who is this someone doing this then?” Clarissa demanded. “Why haven’t you stopped them?” “I have a theory” Murtagh shrugged. “I’ve had an annoying amount of distractions to deal with, but I have got an idea. My main problem is how to get to this someone and whoever is protecting him, but once I solve that, you’ll be going off and fighting them for me. They are no doubt powerful enemies to have kept hold of their Numbers and their threats to destroy all reality everything in it are grave... yeah, they’re the stakes we’re playing for now” he dismissed it as though it was merely nothing. “They seem to want complete oblivion in favour of my eternal rule, and if these rips continue that may well be what happens. But with the right persuasion I’m sure it’s nothing you two can’t handle, given what I’ve seen.” “Huh, scared are you?” Clarissa scoffed. “Eh, why should I risk myself when I have minions to do it for me? And since you’ve killed most of my minions you get to take their place” he replied smartly. “You are going to do what I tell you, and fight these guys who’ve nabbed my Numbers and are threatening my world with ‘the end’, even if that means you simply going in first and sacrificing yourselves so I can see what I’m up against. You will do this, because if you don’t then your precious daughter is going to suffer for it.” The two grimaced as he smiled childishly; he had them trapped and knew it. “You don’t want her to suffer anymore do you? Well then you will be my perfect soldiers. You won’t disobey; otherwise you’ll end up like your friend here...” The projection changed again, and Clarissa gasped and buried herself in Daiki’s shoulder as he went numb. The room on display was unquestionably a dungeon, and chained to the wall was Rokuro. Or what remained of him anyway. He had been tortured to the point of death, zombified in a similar way Asami had been but left as a rotting husk, with smouldering chunks of flesh missing from his green, pitted skin. His eyes were gone, and his body was covered in crawling insects that were burrowing in and out of him. Daiki stared in horror at this macabre figure, until suddenly, appallingly, the corpse jerked. “Oh hell man he’s still alive!” Daiki recoiled in shock, breaking from Clarissa and almost throwing up. “Oh yeah, so he is” Murtagh commented, completely unaffected. “I found Izura fatally wounded after a duel against him, and immediately leapt to the obvious conclusion of who was responsible. I’d left him in that state as punishment, and have only since discovered it was really Asami who set them up. I could let him go now, but he did strike Izura down as her hand, however ignorant.” Murtagh pretended to think about it for a minute, but Daiki did not expect him to be merciful. He was right. “Nah, he can stay like that. He’ll probably die soon anyway. Now with that... encouragement, what do you say? You in?” ... Elsewhere in the palace, two others were pounding up the spiral stairs. Jin was unsurprisingly in front, having taken point at his partner’s suggestion. Despite being more naturally athletic she was following, cradling her unshielded arm against her gleaming gold D-Disk. Her white garb was slightly singed. “You sure they’re going to be at the top Sakura?” “I’ve studied Egyptian mythology. The royal chambers are going to be at the top and that’s the place they are most likely to be” Sakura replied. “I just hope I’m wrong and it’s only Murtagh up there and he isn’t keeping Kaneko close to him, otherwise I don’t see how we’ll rescue her. Especially if there are any more dragons wandering around. You could have waited for me you know?” “[url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Wind-Up_Zenmaines"]Zenmine[/url] helped [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Constellar_Beehive"]Beehive[/url] protect you didn’t he?” Jin replied. The other reason he was going so fast was to stay out of Sakura’s reach, for fear of her strangling him for running off ahead of her! As soon as they’d arrived at the palace entrance, Murtagh’s patrolling dragons had attacked. He had immediately summoned the defensive wall of Zenmine to protect them from the assault whilst they made for the palace, but Sakura had been less speedy with her defence and got burned by some of Red Eye’s attack slipping through, before realising she could summon her once virtual, now real D-Disk and have her Sacred fight whilst they ran. “If you had moved faster instead of staring at all those bodies...” “Oh, so it’s my fault?” He daren’t argue further, so the two continued upwards in silence on the direct route she had suggested to the top. Stopping at the top of the stairs to catch their breath, they peeked into the dark chamber stretching ahead of them. It was indeed the royal chamber, given the size and ominous grandeur. At the far end they could see three people stood talking, whilst closer to them, hidden in the darkness was the converter. It was humming quietly, and giving off a strange purple flame. “What do you thinks’ wrong with it?” Jin asked. “No idea. But that’s definitely Murtagh over there all right” Sakura gulped as she squinted to identify the group near the window far across the room, picking out the shocking white hair. “Who’s he talking to?” “I... think its Dai and Clarissa” he hesitantly replied, sure he was wrong. “Can’t be... can it?” “No... You’re right. But they’re just talking calmly. Do you think they know we’re here?” “No, Murtagh must be distracted, otherwise we’d probably know about it by now.” Slowly he crouched and crept out into the room, keeping in the pillars shadows and beckoning Sakura to follow. “Come on, this might be our only chance while they’re talking.” Reluctantly following, the pair picked their way around to the machine, continually making sure that the group hadn’t noticed them as they approached the front. Kaneko was still chained to the metal by her arms, suspended high off the ground and hanging unconsciously from it as it absorbed her little remaining energy. Unfortunately she was chained to the side facing Murtagh, unobstructed by pillars, meaning they’d have to go into the open to approach her. Still, they’d come this far. Moving slowly into the open, neither of them could reach her shackles, although were able to touch her face. “Kaneko, it’s us. Jin and Sakura.” “Wake up.” “We’re here to try and rescue you.” “Can you hear us?” There was no response. Despite their closeness, the flames seemed only illusory, not harming them as they tried to wake her or even as Sakura tried climbing on top to reach to the shackles from above, glancing over to the adults who continued to argue. Daiki and Clarissa seemed distracted by something Murtagh was showing them from an angle she couldn’t see. Stretching down she could just reach the locks on her binds. She did not hold the faintest hope of breaking them, Murtagh would surely have them sealed fast, but to her sheer amazement as soon as she touched the heavy gauntlets they simply clicked open, and the little girl fell on top of Jin. Panicked she looked up, but the adults hadn’t noticed. Beneath her, Jin was still trying to wake Kaneko up. “Kaneko, come on, we have to go. Wake up.” “Huh... wh...” Blearily Kaneko stirred, barely able to open her eyes. “Whe... uhhhh...” “Come on Kaneko. Please come with us. We’re rescuing you.” Trying to support her small frame under her shoulder Jin moved to pull her away, but she pulled back with surprising strength, seemingly refusing to go with them. “Come on, please.” “Who are... you?” The question threw him completely, but still Kaneko struggled against him whilst Sakura watched the adults. “Let me... go... Danger... must protect...” “It’s me. Jin, remember? Don’t worry, they can protect themselves. We have to go.” “No... He’s... in danger. Must protect...” Suddenly Jin’s world flipped upside down. Landing heavily on his bum as Kaneko slipped out of his grip, he turned only to see, as Sakura did, her disappear across the room as fast as she could go. ... “Why do you continue to object?” Murtagh asked. Daiki and Clarissa were just looking at him in silent revulsion, trying to find a way out when there was none. “Don’t you value your daughter’s life? Don’t you want her to be free from the pain this guy is putting her in?” “That’s rich coming from you” Daiki replied. “You’re the one who put her on that machine, and caused her all sorts of pain. Whoever is causing this trouble might be bad news, but you’re not much better. If we defeat him for you, we’ll just be stuck as we were with you in control. We’re leaving with Kaneko.” “Well durr” Murtagh chuckled. “I don’t see how you think that will be possible. Besides you forget, it’s only thanks to me creating this paradise that Kaneko is even alive. With the two worlds combined, her body was restored. A body she sacrificed in the old world. If you reversed it and returned the world to normal, you’d certainly be going back to a world without her. You don’t want that now, do you?” The parent’s flinched at the prospect. It was just his word, but it was a horrifying prospect to gamble with. Murtagh smirked at their reaction. “See, there’s nothing for you to decide. It’s either helping me establish my rule, or you’ll just end up like your friend Rokuro for all the trouble you’ve caused me. There’s no fairytale ending for you, only the one I decide.” “You think you can control us, by holding our daughter against us?” Clarissa spat at Murtagh, drawing her last remaining gun from its hip holster and aiming steadily at his head. “You’re a coward, and you’ll betray us as soon as it’s convenient. We won’t help you. ” Murtagh shrugged and slowly raised his hand, and her trigger finger twitched. There was no chance she would kill him like this, but she had to try. There was nothing else she could do, and being his puppet wasn’t an option. Daiki had taken arms too, nodding to her; he was sticking with her to the end. This was definitely the end. But somehow his resolve was reassuring. They would fight together... to the end. A flash of light stunned all of them. The intensity of it threw all of them from their aim, no-one dared fire anything for fear of what they’d hit, until the light began to subside. When it did, all of them were still as they had been; all that had changed was the little girl standing in front of Murtagh with her arms raised. “Kaneko!” Clarissa reacted first, instinctively holstering the gun and running straight towards the little girl, whether Murtagh would stop her or not. She barely got three strides when Kaneko’s expression hardened and another flash went off, and Clarissa was launched backwards, grabbed and thrown by an invisible hand, and slammed into the wall behind her. She landed heavily, struggling to get up even with Daiki’s help. “But... why? Kaneko...” “That’s something I’d like to know as well” Murtagh darkly replied. His expression was thunderous as he turned to face the back of the room and pulled the air. As if caught by a lasso, Sakura and Jin came flying out of the darkness, landing with equally heavy bumps just short of him. Looking nervously up, they were met with a furious gaze. “You two! How did... Do you have any idea what you might have done?!” “I don’t... the chains just broke like nothing...” Sakura started apologetically trying to explain. Everyone was looking at them angrily, except the blank Kaneko, but Murtagh was terrifying. “She was in pain.” “She was all that was keeping the converter going!” Murtagh snapped. “Without her, its deterioration will only get worse. You’ve just sped up the countdown to the complete collapse of reality!” “What?!” The two kids jumped in alarm, but Murtagh wasn’t listening. He was speeding back towards the converter, with Kaneko snatched under his arm, his intentions clear. Kaneko didn’t protest though as she hung numbly in his arms. Panicked Clarissa found the will to stand and chase after him, the others closely following, but Murtagh was halfway across the room. The machine appeared in the gloom, but something about it; its shape was pitch black in the flames now so much so that only its outline could be distinguished, against a dark sphere, and static bolts of lightning were starting to course across it... Daiki realised the warning signs first. Grabbing the two kids he dived behind a pillar, seeing Clarissa do the same in the corner of his eye, just before the explosion shook the entire chamber. His ears were ringing. So much so he couldn’t hear the thuds of rock from the ceiling crashing around him. The kids were stunned, as he shakily got to his feet. But only one thought, one awful horrifying thought crossed his mind as he wobbled out from behind the pillar. [i]‘Oh god. Kaneko!’ [/i]Holding his breath, terrified by what sight might be awaiting him, he looked. In the centre of the room, the crouching figure of Murtagh unfurled himself, an orb of air expanding and wobbling as he stood and shook the ringing out of his ears, and Daiki let out a huge sigh. He had realised the impending blast at the last second and taken defensive measures, shielding both himself and the little girl in his arms, both unharmed. Daiki’s relief was short-lived though, as their attentions turned to the machine again. A black hole similar to that Murtagh had shown them, one that may have been the real cause of the explosion, had opened from inside the machine’s heart and was pulling the giant bulk shaking and rattling through the tear, disappearing inch by inch. The others emerged and watched awe struck as well as the hole began to close over the last visible pieces of metal, the grid on which the Numbers were placed plunging into darkness, and a dark voice slipped through the void just before it closed and sent shivers down their spines. [i]‘The seals are weakening. Now nothing will stop the final reckoning, and this sick, battle ravaged and starving world has your vanity and lust to thank. Judgement is galloping towards it ever faster now... and the scythe of the adjudicator is sharpening. Soon... in just mere hours... it will end.’[/i] With one last bout of laughter, the rip closed, and the converter was gone... Stillness prevailed. The kids exchanged terrified glances, both unconsciously clutching Daiki and cuddling together since the man spoke. Clarissa stood across the room taken aback by shock. Kaneko remained impassive as if she had barely heard the voice. Murtagh didn’t look like he knew how to react either as he stared at the empty space where the machine had been. Seconds dragged as he slowly turned to face the others, advancing towards the two youngsters as his expression turned murderous. “Daiki. Clarissa” he said slowly. “You have already been briefed on what you have to, and now you have seen that the situation, thanks to these two brats, is now probably critical. You will be sent after that guy as soon as I find his location, which I now have to do. But first you’re going to watch these meddling horrors take their punishment for jeopardising us all, so that you will see not to protest further. Now...” With a click of fingers, Daiki and Clarissa both flew backwards, blasted in the stomach by an invisible force. As they landed, two small bubbles formed around them. Clarissa pounded against the sides; unable to break through and her voice silenced. Their allies helpless to protect them, Jin and Sakura swallowed as Murtagh turned and knelt down beside his little companion who was waiting by his side, whispering in her ear “Destroy them.” Immediately the little girl transformed. Her eyes flashed and narrowed as she just flew into a wild rage at his command, summoning her little D-Disk and facing the two teenagers. Pleased by the reaction he’d gotten from his little puppet; Murtagh gave them a last look before turning to leave in another flash of fire. “Have fun kids, and please... die painfully.” As soon as he left, Jin went for the bubbles. Both adults were horrified by what they could clearly see, but try as they were couldn’t break free, or make themselves heard. Sakura continued to try and plead with the little girl advancing towards them. “Kaneko... please...” “Quiet” Kaneko snapped. “You have placed God Murtagh’s kingdom in grave peril! Now it is up to me as his arm to dispense sentencing to you infidels! Who would be first?” “No, we don’t want to fight... we’re trying to help you...” “Save it Sakura.” Startled, she found Jin was standing by her side, shakily arming his D-Disk. He looked extremely pale, but determined to... “Oh no, you’re not fighting her.” “What else do you suggest I do when talking is going so well?” he asked. His voice quivered, but still he stepped forward. “That’s not going to do anything. I have to do this. Just... I have to alright.” She complained, but he wasn’t going to be stopped. The condemned boy walked forward, putting on his D-Gazer as Kaneko’s eyes changed colour, and took his opening hand. The prospect was daunting... terrifying. He was going up against a prodigy; he’d seen that firsthand when she helped him defeat Kafziel, who was now hell bent on destroying him for her ‘god’. He had to try and make her wake up. [i]‘And unlike against Daiki, I definitely don’t have the luxury of suiciding. This is madness, but I have to try.’[/i] “Alright, I’ll take you on Kaneko.” The girl grumbled viciously as she took her hand. “So be it!” “Duel!” Knowing he needed everything to go his way, the first blow was instant and made Jin grimace, as the green light and advantage of first turn went in Kaneko’s favour. Chancing a quick glance at his hand, at least that looked more favourable; he needed it to be. Hopefully whatever Kaneko used she wouldn’t be so well received, as she continued staring furiously at him as she drew her sixth card. “You will suffer for your treachery to God Murtagh! Because I control no monsters, I can special summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Photon_Thrasher"]Photon Slasher[/url]!” Appearing in a blur of sword strikes, a luminous warrior carrying a broadsword spun onto the field (Lv4, ATK 2100). He was not alone for long, as a taller, broader warrior in green armour and carrying a twin ended club crashed onto the field beside him, shaking the palace as it landed. Behind him Sakura was panicking at the sight of two monsters with attack points that were ludicrous for their levels (Lv4, ATK 2000). “Now I’ll join Slasher with [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Photon_Crusher"]Photon Crusher[/url]. But if they weren’t bad enough, things are about to get a whole lot worse for you” Kaneko promised as she took another card. “Now you pay. I overlay level four Slasher and Crusher. Xyz summon!” The two monsters plunged into the abyss opening between them, and everyone’s hair stood on end. That was... not possible! All the Numbers had gone through the black hole with the machine, but that was definitely a seal rising. A white mask with a yellow mane billowing from it floating hauntingly in midair, staring down at them through yellow slits. A Number on the first turn, one Jin couldn’t defeat by ordinary means, its glowing body forming to take the shape somewhat of a spindly goat, with a billowing mane and still retaining the mask that bore its Number, floating in the air with its power above the little girl that was truly going all out as Murtagh’s weapon (Rk4, ATK 2400). “Meet your maker. [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Number_8:_Heraldic_King_Genome_Heriter"]Number 08: Heraldic King Genome Heriter[/url]!” “A Number?” Sakura gasped in disbelief. “But I thought all the Numbers were on that machine?” “Yeah, me too. But it’s there now and I have to deal with it. Somehow” Jin muttered. “Kaneko please wake up and stop this. Don’t you recognise me at all? I’m your friend remember?” “What are you talking about?” Kaneko demanded, throwing another face down card as she ended her turn. “You think that kind of desperate trick is going to work on me?” “It’s the truth” was the plea. “Come on, can’t you remember when we met in the Necrovalley? When you rescued me from that duel drone? You turned that match around when I was on the brink of losing, and you gave me a Number to protect me. Thirty three: Machu Mech, remember? Please remember it.” “How did you?” Kaneko hesitated for a moment. The naming of one of her Numbers had thrown her perhaps, Jin hoped it might prove their connection that he had done so, but still her fury did not relent. “Well maybe you did have Machu, but you don’t have it anymore. All but four of my Numbers are back with me and reconnected to my soul. You can’t stop us traitor, so make your move already.” [i]‘Damn it, none of that sounded good.’[/i] Drawing his sixth card, the spell Raise Dead added to an already powerful hand. He could summon Zenmaister, but that wouldn’t do him much against a Number even with superior attack. There was another way, but it would hurt a lot. “I summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Wind-Up_Juggler"]Mainspring Juggler[/url].” A strange looking toy warrior with a cat-like face, garbed in metal green and white robes, floated past him; indeed juggling a set of spheres (Lv4, ATK 1700). “When this monster attacks and fails to destroy a monster by battle, I can use its one time only effect to destroy it after damage calculation instead.” “But you’ll still take damage from a powerful Number and lose your monster, leaving you open on her next turn” Sakura realised as the juggler set to advance on the mysterious Number. Something about it, its aura, gave her the chills. “No Jin, don’t do it! You can’t throw yourself at it like that.” Jin had been sure on attacking, but now he was unsure himself. It wasn’t so mad to attack given he had two ways of bringing Juggler back, and he also had [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Overwind"]Over Wrench[/url] in his hand. With that he could double Juggler’s attack and let Kaneko ram him instead, but then he had no idea what that Number did. If it could negate his trap, his monsters effect, anything at all. It might be better to get rid of it this turn. Maybe. Struggling to make his mind up, Kaneko grew impatient his indecision. “You think that pathetic little plan would actually work against me? I’m insulted. I activate the permanent trap [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Skill_Drain"]Skill Drain[/url]. By paying one thousand life points, the effects of all monsters that activate on the field are negated.” The cost of the payment looked excruciating as she buckled and grimaced, but she managed to shake it off (LP 3000). Now, Jin might have thought he’d become a slightly more adept duelist over the day. And perhaps he had since his quest began, but what happened next was a moment of sheer panic. Now Juggler was useless, lined up by an unknown monster controlled by a duelist he had built up to fear the superior ability of, not to mention his injury and fatigue induced state. All these factors contributed to him making the most horrific misplay possible. “I... activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Double_Summon"]Dual Summon[/url] to grant me the additional summon and bring out [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Wind-Up_Warrior"]Mainspring Warrior[/url]. Then I overlay my two level four monsters... to Xyz summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Wind-Up_Zenmaister"]Mainspring Gunner Zenmaister[/url]!” The hover bot appeared in a flurry of spinning gears, its attack lowered by the effect of Skill Drain (Rk4, ATK 1900). For now anyway, as he set Over Wrench with the best poker face he could manage. “I... I end my turn.” “Then it’s my turn.” As she snatched her card, a sly grin overcame the little girl, and Jin realised he’d just made a huge mistake. “I activate the card [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Magic_Planter"]Magic Planter[/url]; sending Skill Drain to the cemetery to draw two more cards.” That was bad; with it gone Zenmaister’s attack returned to the max but she’d planned that as she played the card already waiting in her hand, and as she studied her new cards her eyes flashed, albeit the results appeared frustrating. [i]‘Can’t yet, but this may be enough.’[/i] “Now with Skill Drain gone, our monsters regain their effects. So now I’m going to use Genome Heriter’s! This targets one Xyz monster you control, and absorbs its entire identity. Its name, its effect, and its attack points!” “What!?” Everyone watched in shock as the spindly creature reared up, its body shifting in shape, until it suddenly resembled an exact replica of the hover bot in every way, except colour scheme (A 2500). “You see, now Heriter has become your Zenmaister for a turn, it gains its effect that boosts its attack for each of its overlay units, which were not used by the activation of its effect” Kaneko pointed out with sadistic glee. “Oh and one more thing, the monster that had its identity absorbed loses all of its effects and its attack is reduced to zero. Now Heriter, attack!” Jin had barely time to register the crippled state of the original Zenmaister when the mimic was flying towards it, blasting a supersonic powered punch through its body. The force of the explosion sent Jin flying; over Sakura’s head, and landing face down with a heavy bump between the horrified parents, trapped and forced to watch their warped little girl continue the assault (LP 1500). ...05:19:22... The city streets were desolate as people hid wherever they could, but that had not deterred the Sin or the Demonic Roar Gods hunt for prey. As Mai’s Porsche continued through the suburban streets, blindly picking the most direct route that avoided possible hotspots for monsters to roam, this area had clearly not survived the swarm. Houses had been torn apart, parts of their occupants lying scattered across the streets. Some were half eaten, some appeared to have been slaughtered for little more than sport. The streets were bathed in blood and gore. Mai had to look away from them to stop herself from being sick. Unfortunately given the smell in the backseat, Kenji already had been. “Can’t we go faster Mai?” Hideo, sat in the front next to her, asked as he glanced out the window. “I want to. But if I rev it up too much any monsters nearby might notice” she said reluctantly. “I don’t think the base would be able to cope with us bringing a hoard of monsters on our tail, so it would be better to sneak across and only open up the engine if absolutely necessary. Plus the fissures don’t help.” “I understand” he replied gravely. “I would not want to risk other’s lives just to save mine. I couldn’t live with it.” He sighed as they passed out of the suburbs towards the bypass, to a bridge over-running a main road out of the city. To their dismay they found themselves forced to stop as the road ended, the bridge had been destroyed and was now impassable. Below them cars of those who had got up and tried to flee the city lay overturned and on fire. “It is cruelly ironic that others who may have been less caring of life in their decision making would have suffered less of this devastation. Perhaps that is why this is happening.” His eyes caught the burned corpse of a mother and young child near one of the cars below them, heralding the sound of more wretching behind him. “Life can be so very cruel.” “You’d rather be one of the people down there?” Hideo blinked as he turned to Mai. She had applied the handbrake and was sitting there arms crossed and staring hard at him, quite oblivious to the danger that might strike any second. She had not shouted at or scolded him, not been shocked or outraged, just bluntly stated the fact. Kenji muttered something about them having to do this now from the backseat, but Mai ignored him. Her focus was entirely on her ex husband. “Well would you? Would you rather be dead, and free from this cruelty? Or would you rather do something about it?” Hideo was speechless for a moment, but slowly shook his head and mumbled an apology. Mai sighed, but seemed to accept it. “Yes life is cruel. Yes it is unfair. But still you fight to protect it. You have always done what you have thought to be right, whether it be for me and Sakura, or for the country you serve. It’s something I’ve always found... but I just wish you wouldn’t mope if you get it wrong. It’s frustrating.” He wasn’t sure, but he thought Mai had reddened slightly before she turned away. But he daren’t push it, so the car remained still and in awkward silence, there on the edge of this destroyed city bridge. The noise that broke the silence was a strange one. It was very quiet, they wouldn’t have heard it had the car been in motion, a soft glistening sort of sound that they felt they’d heard somewhere before, followed by what was definitely the swoosh of wing beats. All three sat bolt upright to attention at the noise, registering in the corner of their eyes the golden plated [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Fabled_Ragin"]roar god[/url] appearing in the mirror, their heart beats nearly drowning out the wing beats... until the crackling of static overcame that. “Move” Hideo roared, pulling the handbrake. Mai jumped into action and hit the accelerator, but to his horror she pulled hard on the steering wheel. She would just turn back towards whatever was about to attack them, there was no time. But this time he didn’t think. He acted. He shouted and lunged at the wheel, pulling it back straight as the car lurched forward and the monster behind them fired. Mai screamed. Kenji shouted. The earth just behind the car exploded, just as it went over the edge. Amid an explosion of debris the car fell twenty feet, nose first, landing and crumbling on top of a jeep below. As the Reigion floated high above the destruction it had caused, a second car cautiously approached the bridge and stopped right beside it, where the prime minister’s ride had been. The passenger got out, deactivating the disk on his arm and ignored the Reigion fading away as he looked over the edge. Tarao swore at the sight of Kenji and Hideo, bloodied but still disgustingly alive, helping Mai out of the wreck and running across the road for the safety of the tree line. As they ran, she suddenly looked back up towards him, making him duck. Had she seen him? She looked suspicious. Either way Mai continued to run, following the others into the trees, leaving him to return to the car and the appalled driver. “Well don’t just sit there gawking. Get after them.” “I can’t believe what you just did...” Junichi stuttered, frozen by disbelief. “There is no justification...” “I had every justification. He’s already stolen from you, planned to blackmail you with that device. You think he wouldn’t do the same to us given half the chance? We must get rid of him, then we can take charge of this mess ourselves. Now get after them!” Still stunned by what had happened, Junichi backed up the car and moved for the slipway, not quite sure what to think about what his beloved daddy had just attempted to do. ...05:22:05... Back on the other side of the world, Jin groaned as he sat up. His whole body was shaking and refused to comply as he forced himself up, head spinning. [i]‘Damn, I played straight into that one. I can’t afford to make mistakes like that.’[/i] Clarissa was in a bubble to his right, banging against the wall of her prison and mutely shouting to the little girl across the room. Daiki was struggling in similar fashion to break free, but he was looking more at him. The scared look in his eyes was haunting. “Sorry Dai. I know I said I’d help you get reunited with your daughter. But I’m working on it alright.” Daiki might have been a bit more reassuring if he‘d been less hesitant with his nod, and if he hadn’t gulped beforehand. Great, another promise he had no idea how he was going to keep, and it must be hell for them to watch Kaneko attack. What would they feel if he fought back and attacked her? Jin staggered back to his feet and stumbled, thankfully Sakura caught him. “Jin, you can’t continue.” “Aaaah, would you please stop saying that!? At least I’m trying to do something to get her back rather than sitting and moaning and giving up!” His brain caught up with his temper too late. Sakura shied away as he rounded on her, looking as if she’d been struck. Hastily he tried to apologise. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that.” “No... It’s fine. You... um... you do what you need to do...” Berating himself for losing his temper as Sakura backed off towards the stunned Clarissa, Jin tired to refocus. Kaneko was watching all this without comment, waiting for him to recover. “That’s just your first taste of the pain to come for your insolence. Next turn I’ll finish you off on behalf of my master God Murtagh, and then it’ll be your friends turn. But for now, I place two cards face down. Now it’s your turn, if you think you can make it that far!” “Kaneko stop it. Murtagh isn’t your master!” Jin shouted back. “He’s using you and stealing your power, and brainwashing you to fight for him. We’re trying to help you.” “You’re an awful liar, like I’ll believe any of that.” “Alright then, I’ll prove it. You said you had reconnected with your Numbers. So where had they been and lost contact with you?” Kaneko blinked in surprise. “You know I had your Machu Mech after all. Well why did I have it? How did I come into possession of it? And how did I get Crimson Shadow and Brilli-Ant as well? Go on, tell me how.” “You insolent kid. They... they were...” Kaneko stood and blinked several times, frowning hard as she tried to think of an answer. What was the answer? It was true; she felt she’d only recently rejoined with her guardians and they had been separated from her, but she couldn’t remember why. Why couldn’t she think? Confused and angry at her cloudy mind, she began to stamp and yell, but still she couldn’t think. And yet at the same time she felt sad. For no reason, some strange part deep inside her panged with sadness. Why was that? Frustrated, it only increased her tantrum. “Ooh, just move already!” “Alright I will, as long as you keep thinking about what I’ve said.” Well this was hopefully a good sign. If he could keep Kaneko asking questions, trying to remember what had happened, her memory would fill in the gaps in the only logical way; the truth. Hopefully she would before she tore him apart. Glancing behind him Daiki was watching carefully, although Clarissa was understandably going spare. [i]‘Hopefully Kaneko remembers before Clarissa breaks free and tears me apart herself.’[/i] “Here we go. Draw!” Shark, excellent. With this, he quickly formulated a strategy. If everything worked, this could swing the match; even finish it if he was lucky. “First I summon the [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Wind-Up_Rat"]Mainspring Rat[/url] in my hand, and use its effect to summon Warrior from my cemetery. Then I’ll use Warrior’s effect to up Rat’s level by one.” With one card’s setup, as the little pest wheeled in circles around the metal warrior (Lv4), he was ready. Much to Kaneko’s annoyance as he smiled at her, much to her bewilderment. “Now listen up, cuz I’m about to turn up the noise. Once again I’ll overlay two level four monsters! Xyz summon!” The small rat and warrior plunged into the vortex, but the monster that emerged was not a Mainspring. A young man of fair hair and complexion, dressed in coat and tails and a top hat, and armed with a thin rapier, it was instead one of Jin’s earliest cards. One from the first set he’d bought, that he’d kept for years and got a copy of as soon as he signed up to the VDS system. Now it was about to turn this duel around (Rk4, ATK 1800). “Raise the tempo, [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Maestroke_the_Symphony_Djinn"]Symphonic Devil Maestroke[/url]!” “You idiot!” Kaneko screamed. “You know what’s going to happen to it against Heriter!” “Not if this combination works it won’t” he replied. “I activate Maestroke’s effect. By detaching an overlay unit, I can flip your monster face down.” With a conducting swish of its sword, the mystical Number disappeared beneath the holographic image of a reverse card. “Argh, that won’t help you! Not when my monster doesn’t need its overlay units for its effect.” “Better get rid of it then hadn’t I? I activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Monster_Reborn"]Raise Dead[/url], to special summon the detached Warrior. And because I’ve summoned a Mainspring, I can special summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Wind-Up_Shark"]Mainspring Shark[/url] from my hand, then use each monsters effect to bump their own levels up to five. Xyz summon!” This one was a Mainspring. Once back seated by the Numbers, a giant and fully armoured battle robot that appeared the combined form of the other three Xyz monsters, armed with a great drill in one arm and pincer claws in the other, the mechanical warrior landed heavily beside Maestroke (Rk5, ATK 2600). “This is the ultimate weapon of the Mainspring; [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Wind-Up_Arsenal_Zenmaioh"]Mainspring Assaulter Zenmaio[/url], and I activate his effect” Jin continued coolly, hand trembling as he detached Shark. “This targets two face down cards on the field, and destroys them both. I target the left face down, and Genome Heriter.” Several turrets in Zenmaio’s armour opened and fired a barrage of missiles, landing all around Kaneko. The face down, a thing called [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Luminize"]Photonize[/url], exploded. The ghostly spectre of Genome Heriter reared and writhed, before it too vanished in a sea of smoke. Jin could just make out Kaneko, her dress billowing in the dust. He could feel Dai and Clarissa’s eyes in the back of his head. He was almost there, but this was the hard part. No doubt Murtagh had set this up with this in mind, as he extended his hand out to her, but he couldn’t not attack, otherwise everyone would be stuffed including himself. This would be his last chance. “Please don’t make me do this Kaneko. Please remember, think. Put the pieces together.” “You! You think this is over?! How dare you try and patronise me!” Kaneko continued to stomp and flail in anger, her eyes welling up with tears. “Stop saying things! I don’t care what you say; I’m just a servant to our God Murtagh who has to finish you! You won’t beat me!” Swallowing deeply, Jin closed his eyes. He was going to hate himself for this later, especially given how Kaneko would respond to being attacked from a supposed friend. But he had to attack. He had used up nearly all his resources setting this up; a field wiping reversal would be impossible to recover from now, and he couldn’t help Kaneko if he was dead. But unlike him if his life points ran out, she should be alright given the Numbers protection that had earlier kept him alive. He thought... The others watched mesmerized as he hollowly uttered the command. “Maestroke, direct attack.” “I activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Waboku"]Emissaries of Harmony[/url]!”Kaneko screamed. “This reduces battle damage to zero this turn.” A veil of white light engulfed her and deflected the barrage of musical notes, and Jin breathed a small sigh of relief despite himself. She was far from impressed. “You... you really think you can beat me?” “I’d have been surprised if I had” Jin muttered. “Kaneko, think. Why are you fighting for Murtagh? Because he’s ordered you to? Is it your job to be his executioner and the Numbers are your tools for doing so? If so when did you last do something like that for him? When did you last battle this way?” “Bah, again with the ridiculous questions.” It was none of this traitor’s business, it was her duty to serve God Murtagh and nothing else, as it was everyone’s and a duty he had defied. But now he’d asked she couldn’t help but begin to think. Well it was a simple enough question. “Why I...” She started, then stopped as she floundered for an answer again. She felt like she had fought and very recently. But her vision was clouded; her opponent was a silhouette in the fog. “I...” She faintly remembered the pain of battle, feelings of great anxiety, and overwhelming anger. Why did she feel like that? Why did she feel so sad now? A hazy blur of a stone juggernaut appeared, swinging its hammer like fist, and faintly the roar of a dragon echoed in the distance. The sound bought her to tears. [i]“I... don’t know. My head...it hurts... I don’t know anything...”[/i] “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Jin and Sakura jumped as Kaneko suddenly went from her lost, scared expression to full on screaming tantrum, roaring and streaming with tears as she drew from her deck. Trapped helplessly in their prisons Clarissa and Daiki redoubled their efforts to escape or communicate, as their little girl broke down, and Jin already knew he’d pushed her too far. Managing to just about see through the tears what she’d drawn; a small round creature with a lightning bolt like horn, Kaneko sobbed with anger and confusion as she made her vicious counterattack. “You’ll be sorry for hurting me! I summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Kurivolt"]Kuribolt[/url].” The tiny ball of living static that appeared looked probably the least threatening thing possible, but it was deceptive (Lv1, ATK 300). “Then I use its effect. By targeting Maestroke, it detaches its overlay unit. Then another Kuribolt is summoned from my deck.” Jin winced as Maestroke’s last unit disappeared, and with it its destruction surviving effect and combo with Zenmaio. But still the creeping fear of what was coming was building in him. What the hell was coming? Kaneko played her next card. “Next I activate the magic card [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Photon_Booster"]Photon Booster[/url]. This boosts the attack points of all copies of the same light monster up to two thousand this turn.” The two static balls swelled, but no sooner had they done so then they disappeared into a shaft of light, as Kaneko slowly held up another card from her hand. Jin shuddered, Sakura watched with her hands clasped over her mouth, and the trapped parents just craned their necks in awe as a dark shadow appeared behind her. “Now by releasing two monsters with two thousand attack points, I can special summon from my hand what will be the executioner you so badly desire. Show yourself, [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Galaxy-Eyes_Photon_Dragon"]Galaxy Eyes Photon Dragon[/url]!” The great shadow rose from its crouch to full terrifying height over the group, its scales illuminating to reveal its massive bulk and wicked claws, shaking the building with a bloodthirsty roar (Lv8, ATK 3000). Somewhere below it Kaneko shouted something inaudible over the noise and the dragon charged its high energy breath attack, releasing a torrent of light towards them. Maestroke was obliterated in an instant. Jin was blasted the length of the room, past Clarissa and Daiki, almost out of the room but crashing into a pillar before the balcony window, crumpling in a broken heap. The hazy images of Sakura running to him, of Daiki pounding against his cell, of the great dragon looming out of the dark, and the possessed little girl beneath it passed in a blur, before with a last groan he blacked out.[/spoiler] Yeah. Tired bloke going to bed now... please leave nice comments for when I get up (or critisism and pointers and preferences or whatever, a mix of good and bad. Just a couple of comments are always nice and might make me get on with writing the final chapters a bit faster ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brinolovania Posted October 23, 2012 Report Share Posted October 23, 2012 [spoiler=!] You'd think Murtagh would be willing to fight himself to avoid an apocalypse destroying his perfect world...but I guess the amin characters need to be thrown into the thick of things to make stuff interesting. So he's mind controlled Kaneko...seems he could've had an easier time if he'd done that earlier. Although I guess she had the Numbers then. And now she's all pissed and kicking Jin's butt...this ought to get very interesting. Taking out Galaxy-Eyes with what he has will be difficult, to say the least. And Tarao has now gone from ambitious d*** to murderous d***. Tarao vs Junichi is totally gonna happen. [/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aerion Brightflame Posted October 23, 2012 Report Share Posted October 23, 2012 Hmmm... Very intresting. [spoiler='Spoiler'] Murtagh was very cool in this. He's what his namesake should have been. ] Kaneko being mind controlled... hmm, not to big a suprise, given Neo Galaxy Eyes has to make an apperance at some point. Why do I think one of the horsemen will be the RDL owner who died chapter one. I feel like that would be fitting. Duel, fairly fine, though I'm confused by Jin, he said he had something that makes his Jugglers attack double? So why not attack straight into the weakened Genome Heiriter? Or have I misunderstood. Oh and I loved the combo play to kill of Hieriter. I didn't expect it. The politician who was going to be murdered I need reread, since I've forgotten him oddly. [/spoiler] Good work. I don't think it was the best chapter, and I did prefer the one before it, but this was still one of the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2012 Two responses in 12 hours, must have missed YCM's rush hour (YCM has a rush hour?) Come on guys, I stayed up late last night when I was ill to post that for you. [quote name='Pacmanexus' timestamp='1350959301' post='6051319'] [spoiler=!] You'd think Murtagh would be willing to fight himself to avoid an apocalypse destroying his perfect world...but I guess the amin characters need to be thrown into the thick of things to make stuff interesting. So he's mind controlled Kaneko...seems he could've had an easier time if he'd done that earlier. Although I guess she had the Numbers then. And now she's all pissed and kicking Jin's butt...this ought to get very interesting. Taking out Galaxy-Eyes with what he has will be difficult, to say the least. And Tarao has now gone from ambitious d*** to murderous d***. Tarao vs Junichi is totally gonna happen. [/spoiler] [/quote] Oh yeah, he is taking the threat seriously. But like he said, if he can get someone else to take all the risks then why not? Might be because I recently finished it again, but I see Murtagh as being a bit like Kuja at the end of FFIX, in the 'if I'm going to die/not exist then no-one else should exist either' mentality. As for him controlling Kaneko, yeah this is hardly groundbreaking material (look at Zexal II ) but yeah. I sniggered a little at reading the comments of 'only Murtagh and Garvan left' when I knew actually he's got one more minion left. Mwahaha I said the politicians storyline would get good. It steps up another notch on Friday [quote name='Archbaron Barthandelus' timestamp='1351001637' post='6051640'] Hmmm... Very intresting. [spoiler='Spoiler']Murtagh was very cool in this. He's what his namesake should have been. ] Kaneko being mind controlled... hmm, not to big a suprise, given Neo Galaxy Eyes has to make an apperance at some point. Why do I think one of the horsemen will be the RDL owner who died chapter one. I feel like that would be fitting. Duel, fairly fine, though I'm confused by Jin, he said he had something that makes his Jugglers attack double? So why not attack straight into the weakened Genome Heiriter? Or have I misunderstood. Oh and I loved the combo play to kill of Hieriter. I didn't expect it. The politician who was going to be murdered I need reread, since I've forgotten him oddly. [/spoiler] Good work. I don't think it was the best chapter, and I did prefer the one before it, but this was still one of the best. [/quote] I like how everyone is using spoilers for comments, its good (but I'm not for responses...) He gets some very good lines in these two chapters. Interestingly you're the second (I think?) person to voice that opinion about that possibility. Overwind is a trap, he planned to let Genome ram it next turn and activate it (ATK 3400) for one thousand damage, destroying it by effect, and resetting Juggler's effect. But then he had his moments panic. One of the things I've always thought about since the original idea regarding duels is that by now everyone's been awake (and for the most part being battered) for about 20 hours or so, so fatigue and loss of concentration has to naturally start becoming a factor in places. But not overly so, given the finale and the exciting duels that are needed. Difficult to balance. You mean Hideo? Well, fair enough, let's see how Friday goes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canopy Star - Eon Sphere Posted October 23, 2012 Report Share Posted October 23, 2012 Wow, I knew that Photons weren't gonna be left out in this new arc. I sincerely hope for Jin's sake that Neo Galaxy Eyes doesn't make its appearance in this duel. I really liked the idea of misplays, because often you find that mistakes are made in these duels that are either glaringly obvious (forgetting to activate a trap, etc) or for some hidden reason (the duelist doesn't want to win/ is holding back). The fact that this is a play anyone could have made is really nicely done. And of course because of Wind-Ups he can pull it back somewhat. Hope Hideo can get some awesomeness in, I feel sorry for the guy. He needs his moment in the spotlight properly done, so no slacking on that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vector Nightmare Posted October 24, 2012 Report Share Posted October 24, 2012 *ahem* I think this chapter may be one of my least favorites in a while. Mostly because, well, a lot of the things here just didn't make any practical or literary sense. We have Murtagh not killing Daiki and Clarissa on sight. This is a good sign as it promises some form of remorse felt by him perhaps, not a complete 180 but some ability to reason, to redeem part of the wrong he did if just to pacify Izura's memory. NOPE. He's still as cruel and crazy as before and perhaps even moreso now. He just wants to use Daiki and Clarissa to face the mysterious threat who is hindering his plans. So he takes two people whose apparent abilities sum up to 'good duelists' and tries to use them against a worldbuster-tier threat. Because f*** logic, this is Yugimanz. And then Jin and Sakura rescue Kaneko in an obscure manner. Unfortunately Kaneko is mind-controlled by Murtagh. Wait so if Murtagh can mind-control [i]Kaneko[/i] with her pretty god-tier powers, what the hell is stopping him from mind-controlling everyone he comes across, including Daiki and Clarissa, and just have them do his bidding? In general Murtagh seems to suffer from the generic villain syndrome "I'm using my powers against my own subordinates much more than I'm using them against my actual enemies" So Kaneko is freed, the machine disappears, and Murtagh is livid. Murtagh concludes they don't have much time left. That automatically means that from what little time they have left, some of it must absolutely be wasted on a card game. He intends to use Jin and Sakura as an example to encourage Daiki and Clarissa (who should have still kinda come up with a better plan than stay there and defy Murtagh until the world blows up) to follow his orders. But instead of using something practical and direct like instantaneous aging and zombiefication, he makes Kaneko duel them. So yeah this far I'm like... not really satisfied. The plot progresses but the way the characters react to things is pretty unreasonable. For all his talk about not having enough time Murtagh is being completely impractical. Daiki and Clarissa, instead of letting themselves be sent off to hunt a vague threat and, one they're out of Murtagh's clutches, come up with a counter-plan, just stand there and pointlessly defy Murtagh. Jin and Sakura are the only ones actually being productive towards their purpose. Even if it horribly backfires. And Kaneko... yeah, I wasn't expecting her to be turned into Murtagh's obedient servant. Like I said, if Murtagh could do that, then there's an assload of other things he should have been able to do... The small segment with the Apocalypse Knights isn't that helpful really, mostly because it's VAGUE ALL THE VAGUE. Now if I recall, Famine is Unmai, while War is Vladimir, and Death is unaccounted for. I can kindasorta see what you're trying to pull with Vladimir, but not really. Well, I'll wait for more about those, but this little segment didn't add much here. On the other hand, the government subplot is just getting srs. Which I like a lot. So, we're moving to the duel between Jin and Kaneko. I'm not sure how I feel about this match-up. It seems Jin is shoved into the "shake the madness away" role again, like with Daiki. Well, he is much more suited to this duel than he was to the Daiki duel, so that's the good thing. What annoyed me was basically how Kaneko is now Murtagh's puppet. I was expecting her to not be herself, but having her enslaved to Murtagh's will is very iffy, and I won't hesitate to bring up a second issue. Because Kaneko's brainwashing will probably be resolved in the next chapter (otherwise, well, everyone's f***ed), it just turns into another two-chapter rushplot... I'm sure you remember me criticizing Dark Hikari for that sort of thing, right? Well, I'm gonna be fair - it's not the same, and it's not something that really needs a lot of expansion. But having her turn from her catatonic state into Murtagh's fervent supporter back into normal again all in 2 chapters feels quite rushed. So the duel. It pretty much follows the tried pattern of a wake-me-up duel to the letter, which isn't actually a bad thing. I had called Kaneko popping Genome Heriter from the beginning. It's good when someone actually remembers to misplay once in a while. Everyone either plays perfectly, or goes in blind-guessing and it works out fine in the end. Having no experience with Mainsprings I didn't really get what the misplay really was, but I'll take yours and the others' word for it. Jin tries to shake Kaneko up with the memory of the Numbers she gave him. I'd have actually expected that to backfire, since Kaneko could automatically assume that Jin was just one of those people who stumbled across the Numbers one way or another and make her more furious, but ok. Jin gets the upper hand but Kaneko produces her safety barrier, and proceeds to summon Galaxy-Eyes Photon Dragon. It was... a good duel, overall. Jin and Kaneko obviously have good synergy so I have no real complaints. My main issue was mostly with Kaneko's mind-controlled state which was rather awkward. Not a very powerful chapter. It felt like a few things were shoehorned in just for drama purposes, when they could've been resolved more quietly and effectively. Simply put, it feels like you're beating around the bush a little too much with a few things, which is iffy at this late stage. Well, I will be awaiting the next chapter to make my judgment. In fact, I think I may reserve these larger reviews for chapter pairs, as they make more sense when put together. 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Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2012 Slow week for comments is slow. Unless this chapter was that horrific and made everybody leave in disgust? [quote name='The Seal of Eon' timestamp='1351010731' post='6051744'] Wow, I knew that Photons weren't gonna be left out in this new arc. I sincerely hope for Jin's sake that Neo Galaxy Eyes doesn't make its appearance in this duel. I really liked the idea of misplays, because often you find that mistakes are made in these duels that are either glaringly obvious (forgetting to activate a trap, etc) or for some hidden reason (the duelist doesn't want to win/ is holding back). The fact that this is a play anyone could have made is really nicely done. And of course because of Wind-Ups he can pull it back somewhat. Hope Hideo can get some awesomeness in, I feel sorry for the guy. He needs his moment in the spotlight properly done, so no slacking on that! [/quote] Yeah, that would be pretty bad for someone's health. I'm happy that I haven't been pulled up for as many mistakes as last time (Armageddon averaged about six a duel I think) so glad my understanding of parts of this game has got better, but I just think it would be unrealistic for them all to duel perfectly all the time. Hideo and co continue to get chapterly exposure, hopefully it will continue to impress. I really like where its gone. [quote name='~ Epic Hero - Saber ~' timestamp='1351053723' post='6052252'] *ahem* I think this chapter may be one of my least favorites in a while. Mostly because, well, a lot of the things here just didn't make any practical or literary sense. We have Murtagh not killing Daiki and Clarissa on sight. This is a good sign as it promises some form of remorse felt by him perhaps, not a complete 180 but some ability to reason, to redeem part of the wrong he did if just to pacify Izura's memory. NOPE. He's still as cruel and crazy as before and perhaps even moreso now. He just wants to use Daiki and Clarissa to face the mysterious threat who is hindering his plans. So he takes two people whose apparent abilities sum up to 'good duelists' and tries to use them against a worldbuster-tier threat. Because f*** logic, this is Yugimanz. And then Jin and Sakura rescue Kaneko in an obscure manner. Unfortunately Kaneko is mind-controlled by Murtagh. Wait so if Murtagh can mind-control [i]Kaneko[/i] with her pretty god-tier powers, what the hell is stopping him from mind-controlling everyone he comes across, including Daiki and Clarissa, and just have them do his bidding? In general Murtagh seems to suffer from the generic villain syndrome "I'm using my powers against my own subordinates much more than I'm using them against my actual enemies" So Kaneko is freed, the machine disappears, and Murtagh is livid. Murtagh concludes they don't have much time left. That automatically means that from what little time they have left, some of it must absolutely be wasted on a card game. He intends to use Jin and Sakura as an example to encourage Daiki and Clarissa (who should have still kinda come up with a better plan than stay there and defy Murtagh until the world blows up) to follow his orders. But instead of using something practical and direct like instantaneous aging and zombiefication, he makes Kaneko duel them. So yeah this far I'm like... not really satisfied. The plot progresses but the way the characters react to things is pretty unreasonable. For all his talk about not having enough time Murtagh is being completely impractical. Daiki and Clarissa, instead of letting themselves be sent off to hunt a vague threat and, one they're out of Murtagh's clutches, come up with a counter-plan, just stand there and pointlessly defy Murtagh. Jin and Sakura are the only ones actually being productive towards their purpose. Even if it horribly backfires. And Kaneko... yeah, I wasn't expecting her to be turned into Murtagh's obedient servant. Like I said, if Murtagh could do that, then there's an assload of other things he should have been able to do... The small segment with the Apocalypse Knights isn't that helpful really, mostly because it's VAGUE ALL THE VAGUE. Now if I recall, Famine is Unmai, while War is Vladimir, and Death is unaccounted for. I can kindasorta see what you're trying to pull with Vladimir, but not really. Well, I'll wait for more about those, but this little segment didn't add much here. On the other hand, the government subplot is just getting srs. Which I like a lot. So, we're moving to the duel between Jin and Kaneko. I'm not sure how I feel about this match-up. It seems Jin is shoved into the "shake the madness away" role again, like with Daiki. Well, he is much more suited to this duel than he was to the Daiki duel, so that's the good thing. What annoyed me was basically how Kaneko is now Murtagh's puppet. I was expecting her to not be herself, but having her enslaved to Murtagh's will is very iffy, and I won't hesitate to bring up a second issue. Because Kaneko's brainwashing will probably be resolved in the next chapter (otherwise, well, everyone's f***ed), it just turns into another two-chapter rushplot... I'm sure you remember me criticizing Dark Hikari for that sort of thing, right? Well, I'm gonna be fair - it's not the same, and it's not something that really needs a lot of expansion. But having her turn from her catatonic state into Murtagh's fervent supporter back into normal again all in 2 chapters feels quite rushed. So the duel. It pretty much follows the tried pattern of a wake-me-up duel to the letter, which isn't actually a bad thing. I had called Kaneko popping Genome Heriter from the beginning. It's good when someone actually remembers to misplay once in a while. Everyone either plays perfectly, or goes in blind-guessing and it works out fine in the end. Having no experience with Mainsprings I didn't really get what the misplay really was, but I'll take yours and the others' word for it. Jin tries to shake Kaneko up with the memory of the Numbers she gave him. I'd have actually expected that to backfire, since Kaneko could automatically assume that Jin was just one of those people who stumbled across the Numbers one way or another and make her more furious, but ok. Jin gets the upper hand but Kaneko produces her safety barrier, and proceeds to summon Galaxy-Eyes Photon Dragon. It was... a good duel, overall. Jin and Kaneko obviously have good synergy so I have no real complaints. My main issue was mostly with Kaneko's mind-controlled state which was rather awkward. Not a very powerful chapter. It felt like a few things were shoehorned in just for drama purposes, when they could've been resolved more quietly and effectively. Simply put, it feels like you're beating around the bush a little too much with a few things, which is iffy at this late stage. Well, I will be awaiting the next chapter to make my judgment. In fact, I think I may reserve these larger reviews for chapter pairs, as they make more sense when put together. [/quote] Ah... I can see your points. It is very morally high horse of Dai and Clarissa to not just give in to Murtagh for now to protect Kaneko, and Murtagh not killing them... well obviously not the most acceptable excuse but 'why doesn't every Bond villian just stop gloating and shoot him when they get the chance'? (I've been shouting that a lot during the last two films; KILL HIM NOW!) You are right about it being a bit shoehorned, this was indeed the last duel to be confirmed on the card. Originally it was a tag duel of Jin and Natsumi vs Murtagh and Kaneko with some twisted rules, but that was blergh and made little sense. Yeah I see the Dark Hikari (you know I still liked that storyline though). Only thing I can really justify (and not that well) about the duel going on is that Murtagh still doesn't know where the horsemen are. But why he can't blast Jin and Sakura away and risk Kaneko is... well, Bond villian syndrome. As for mind control, that may or may not become more justified after the next chapter. Regarding other issues, the segment at the start with the horsemen was a more a little reminder of 'hey, we're still here' just before Death nabbed the converter, and it seemed a natural place to put such exposure after the lead in from world destruction. It's meant to be vague (if not that vague) but if it did anything it gave some insight into the mindset of the horseman you didn't mention... Glad the gov plot is going well for you. And that the duel was satisfactory so far. The misplay was going into Zenmaister at all. It would have made much more sense to leave Juggler on the field Skill Drain or no, esp when Over Wrench returns the monster to hand after all the resources used on summoning Zenmaister. Kinda worried about the reception to parts in the second half, but hopefully glitches will be overshadowed by good things. Hopefully next chapter will turn it around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northern Sage Posted October 26, 2012 Report Share Posted October 26, 2012 [spoiler='Spoilers, spoilers, spoilers…'] [size="7"]BOO![/size] [size="7"][size=3]Sorry. My theory on who Pestilence is has all but been jossed. Not sure about Death at this point though. Shinawatra, as someone thought, seems about as likely, but proof against that would be the time period between him dying and the entire gathering thing of the dead-ish duelists (really hard to define at this point) doesn't really make sense. My theory on Pestilence is Yudai, anyways. Possibly Brainwashed and Crazy, and considering all bets are off considering Vlad/War didn't have any particular circumstances surrounding his death.Also, conflict of interests for Sakura.[/size][/size] [size="7"][size=3]Well, good chapter anyways.[/size][/size][/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 26, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2012 Right... After a severe dropoff in comments on the last chapter possibly caused by it... er, not being that good (including near three days without any comments before Tama commented - nice name change by the way. Oddly formated post.) time to try and win people back with this chapter. I hope. This is, by the way, the bastard that was the primary cause for the two month hiatus because I had no idea how to make it work (the following three chapters were all written before this one). So yeah, really want some feedback on how it's finally turned out. Please don't make all my hard work and stress go ignored by not commenting guys. Going to own up right now that there are still a couple of... er, distractions in terms of cards in this duel that were annoyingly unavoidable (curses Konami). As I have said before, my priorities on duelling are character development -> exciting action -> plot development -> technical accuracy of cards. There is one major card alteration for these purposes, and one or two minor ones which are listed in the second spoiler. Sorry if this upsets people. This is why if I do a third fic I'm using customs. [spoiler=Chapter 21:2]“Well, what do you think?” Sitting astride their runners from the perceived safety of the ravine edge, Garvan and Natsumi looked down the mountain trail into the gorge, at the large black hole that had opened about a hundred metres away, just out of its grasp. At Natsumi’s suggestion they had returned to the [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/The_Nordic_Lights"]Polar Star Radiance[/url], and this was not the first rip they had seen since they began their mission together. But they had definitely become more frequent and more aggressive over the time, and this was the first one to open so close to them. The rip crackled and sparked as it arched across the rocky ground, and they could see small pieces of rock, dead shrubbery and debris within its range slowly being dragged towards the hole, disappearing into the abyss beyond forever. The heart of the rip was lifeless and soulless to stare into. “That one is quite weak compared to the one I saw earlier” Natsumi thought. “But that cannot be said for all of them, and they are getting more frequent and retaining their power for longer. They appear the definition of chaos theory, and will plunge this world into it if things continue.” “Yeah, but what do you think we can do?” Garvan replied. “I still have no idea of where these guys who’ve caused this with their meddling are, and I can’t imagine Murtagh has either given I haven’t heard from him. We don’t have time to roam the entire world looking for them.” “We might not need to...” Natsumi’s gaze diverted from the rip. Puzzled by her words, Garvan noticed what she was looking at. A [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Mokey_Mokey"]Moke Moke[/url], a small square shaped fairy, was idly floating by a little way away, almost oblivious to them or the black hole beyond them. “Do you have a winch on your bike?” “Yeah, but why?” “Because I have an idea.” Stealthily dismounting the runner, Natsumi crouched and waited as the fairy absent mindedly drifted towards them, waiting for it to come within reach. As it did, she sprung, landing on top of the startled creature. Struggling with it she ran back to Garvan, who was so stunned by what she was doing he didn’t respond to her demands to release the wince until the second, harsher demand, and when he did she tied the electric laser like cord around the creature. “Is this thing long enough to reach from here?” “Just... what are you doing?” “Earlier, I saw a dragon get sucked into a stronger one of these. It was trying to escape and fought it, until the portal closed and...” Natsumi shuddered. “Well point is, it didn’t die from coming into contact with the rip. Only when it closed on it. So let’s see what happens if I...” She didn’t need to complete the sentence, she just took a running start and threw the Moke Moke at the rip, letting the grip of it pull the fairy the rest of the way, before it disappeared into the dark abyss. As the line shuddered to the end of it reach she paused, gave it a couple of seconds, before giving the order to pull the winch back. With bated breath Garvan obliged. The winch was powerful, designed to be able to pull anything, and against the comparatively weaker pull of this small hole it gradually reined in. The two watched, not breathing, not even blinking as they waited for the outcome to emerge, as the surface around the golden chain began to ripple. Slowly the creature reappeared; it was motionless. Reeling it back in, Natsumi gulped as she took the fairy in her arms and untied it. Her experiment failed. Until to her surprise the creature blinked, shook itself off as it regained its senses, and floated out of her arms, incredibly bemused but physically no worse the wear for its experience. A gobsmacked moment was followed by a mad scramble. After a quick and heated argument (both were perhaps understandably not trusting the other to pull them back if they went in), Garvan secured the winch around the largest and most planted rock he could find. He was adamant it was unbreakable, hopefully he was right. Natsumi sat herself up behind the driver’s seat, clinging tightly to Garvan as he sat in front of her and quickly backed up towards the portal, easing out the cord and letting the bike be pulled until the back wheel touched the hole. The surface rippled across the portal, and its magnetic grip was straining on their bodies. But her resolve was stubborn, so with a deep breath Natsumi stuck her head in, and waved for Garvan to back it in. What she saw beyond forced her to release her breath. On the other side was an immense abyss, a swirling galaxy that stretched into eternity in every direction around them. The vast emptiness was littered with the rips of all sizes and shapes; more opened each second, and streams of debris and small creatures like them trailed through each chasm in reality. The light was minimal, except for flashes of lightning of an endless thunderstorm that ripped across the void. They did not fall, simply floated, and the reason could be seen far in the distance. A giant white swirl, the heart of the void, to which the world’s absorbed pieces were pulled and disappeared into. The noise was simply cacophonous. Still she could feel pressure, heavy pressure, pushing against her every fibre. Pushing against her head. “It’s like one giant abyss” Garvan gasped in awe. “And I imagine that swirl is like one giant compressor.” “Sounds more like a wood chipper” Natsumi muttered, swaying slightly in her seat. Her head was beginning to throb, she needed to rest it, he didn’t notice her lean against him as he studied the realm. “Hey, look down there! Down there was a giant piece of rock, orbiting and seemingly the only thing unaffected by the swirl. And on that piece of rock was a dark castle. The structure was enormous and rigid in its design, symmetrical on each side with four matching towers and turrets appearing as thick square blocks at even intervals along the outer wall. The inner building was one massive structure, towering up and similarly built in its thick, ordered pattern. An imposing fortress. “That must be it huh?” “I’d have thought so” Natsumi coughed, blinking to retain focus on the building. Garvan grunted as her head thudded into his shoulder. “Ugh, don’t you feel light headed or weak or anything?” “No, I feel fine.” “Well I don’t. Can we go back now? I feel faint.” Well there was no reason to linger now. Tentatively recoiling the winch, the mechanism fought against the swirl’s pull, struggling at first to move. Garvan began to sweat as no progress was made, Natsumi just groaned and collapsed against him. She did not feel in pain, but each second she felt weaker and weaker, her vision slowly starting to dim. After a few tense seconds finally, mercifully, the thing moved, and started to pull them out and back to reality. Relieved, they took one last look at the castle. Lightning forked across the abyss, and Natsumi and Garvan gasped. In the flash, on the balconies of the front walls four towers, three figures had appeared. The hulking figure in thick bloodstone armour, resting a hammer over his shoulder, and the leaner, shadowy figure in coat and tight fitting body plate; Natsumi grimaced as she recognised her two nemeses. Joining them on the third balcony was a figure in a hooded and long sleeved cloak, white in colour, clutching a broadsword. Each figure stood motionless, staring up at them through their masked eyes, unmoving as they pulled free of the void. ...05:33:06... Watching for any sign of life and resistance, Kaneko waited as one of the infidels tried to wake the other. This match was almost over. It wasn’t a contest at all; it was target practise, a glorified execution. True her Number had been defeated, a blemish that her opponent had used all his resources to make but nothing more, and with her guardian Galaxy Eyes standing over her it was definitely over. With him down, the other traitor who tried to oppose God Murtagh would be next. Whether he would want her to defeat the two in the prisons as well she didn’t know, she couldn’t quite see them, but she was sure he would lead her as to what she should do. He was her God; he would lead her to safety. Kaneko’s glare narrowed as with very stiffly and shakily, Jin pushed himself upright (LP 300). With Sakura’s aid he managed to stand and hobble forward, and to her disbelief retook his position on the field, looking at her with grim determination. His persistence was infuriating. “You won’t lie down, even when faced against my unstoppable Galaxy Eyes and you have so few cards left?” “If I give up, then I’ll be letting you down” the boy replied bafflingly. She didn’t understand him, but what was to understand about the lies and confusion of a traitorous criminal. “Well if you still want to fight, or whatever pathetic effort you call what you’re doing, then go ahead. I don’t know what lies you are trying to fill my head with, but they won’t work. All I need to know is that you tried to bring down God Murtagh and threatened us all doing so, and Galaxy Eyes will punish you.” “That’s all you need to know huh?” Jin was quite aware of the looks he was getting of Dai and Clarissa, but still he had to persevere. “So you’re just his thoughtless weapon now; not asking why or having any thought of your own? Guess that means you’re just like that Kafziel we defeated now...” “Excuse me?” Kaneko snapped. “What are you on about now?” “What, doesn’t the name Kafziel mean anything to you?” Jin smiled, prompting another scowl. Another lie trying to confuse her, she tried to block it out, but the more she did the more the blurry thoughts pressed upon her, making her angrier. “Ah, shut up already! Move!” [i]‘Alright then. Just keep thinking Kaneko. Something will trigger your memory. I’m getting closer, I can tell it’s almost come back, it’s just one bit of resistance blocking it. I just need to break the last barriers. Just let it come back and you’ll be alright.’[/i] Reaching for his D-Disk to draw and resume duelling, Zenmaio reappeared above him, facing off against the great shining dragon. “I draw.” Kaneko: LP 3000, Hand 1, Field of Galaxy Eyes Photon Dragon Jin: LP 300, Hand empty, Field of Mainspring Zenmaio and a face down “I summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Card_Car_D"]Card Car D[/url] to the field!” A small sports saloon car whizzed past him, engine roaring (Lv2, ATK 800). “Then I activate its effect. By sending it to the cemetery, I can draw two more cards.” This would turn it. He might have to pass on his entire turn, but he could tell this duel was going to turn. He was getting through; he just needed a bit more. The car vanished, and with confidence he drew the two cards offered. His eyes widened as he saw the outcome. [i]‘What? [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Mini-Guts"]Minimum Guts[/url]? [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Zenmairch"]Spring Rewinding[/url]? This... this can’t be.’[/i] Jin trembled as he looked at the two cards, searching for a way out. [i]‘I... I can’t believe it. These are... these are no good to me. There’s nothing I can do with them. What do I do? Unless I can somehow survive this turn then...’[/i] “After Card Car has used its effect, your turn ends immediately” Kaneko interrupted his panic as she drew her card. “Time to finish this. I activate the [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Forbidden_Lance"]Forbidden Lance[/url] magic card. This lowers the attack of its target by eight hundred, and no other spell or traps will have any effect on it this turn!” Jin blinked as the combination weapon’s power went down (ATK 1800). The use of that card, leaving his face down trap useless, it couldn’t be unless... [i]‘She knew! The whole time, she knew! If this attack goes through...’ [/i]His injuries getting the better of him he fell to his knees, struggling to breathe. Sakura gasped as she realised he was out of defence. Daiki and Clarissa were motionless in their cells, unable to believe what might happen. He had nothing left, nothing except beg. “Kaneko... please think. Don’t do this.” “It’s all over” she shouted mercilessly. “Galaxy Eyes, erase this traitor! Photon Stream!” With a savage roar the dragon pulled back and released a stream of bright white energy, bathing the weakened Mainspring in it and dispersing onto Jin. He screamed in pain; his body was going to be ripped apart by this. Sakura and the others watched in terror, whilst beneath the dragon Kaneko watched the small boy writhe and cry. The scene was so transfixing, so savage, and yet so somehow familiar... The blur of thoughts in her head, the weight of them all, was overwhelming. She needed support. She felt out and leant against the muscular warm leg of her Galaxy Eyes. As soon as she made contact, her mind exploded, as her mind and memories linked with the dragons, and everything came into clarity. [i]‘Galaxy Eyes?’ [/i]She could remember the great dragon attacking a great stone golem. [i]‘Atlanthal?’[/i] It was Atlanthal, the giant was going to pummel her. Panicked she looked across the field, there was her ruler controlling it, laughing at her. [i]‘Murtagh?’[/i] Seeing him, her mind’s eye flashed and spun to a different scene featuring Murtagh, she gasped as she watched again as he broke Orion’s neck. [i]‘Sensei?’[/i] She thought of sensei, and their time together that day, how he’d protected her, but she’d gone into the world and fought against the invaders, the duel drones, with a small boy. She gasped. [i]‘Jinrei!’[/i] “Galaxy Eyes, abort!” Mercifully the dragon obeyed with a roar of relief, having held off as long as it could, disappeared into the other dimension with the connected Zenmaio in tow. As they vanished Jinrei was released from the attack, letting him flop to the floor in exhaustion. He wasn’t sure what had happened, maybe he was dead. Although he hadn’t expected death to feel so... dissimilar. He definitely didn’t expect Sakura to be able to prop him up. As she helped him, he blinked as Kaneko sprinted across the room towards them, and as she drove into him, he finally understood what had happened. “Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!” she cried, burying her face in his stomach and hugging him. “I don’t know what I was doing. I really hurt you, and threatened the rest of you. I’m sorry.” “S’all right” Jin grimaced, wishing she’d let go of his injured ribs. Perhaps detecting his discomfort she mercifully let go. “You weren’t you. But you’re back now, so it’s alright.” “I was... not me?” Kaneko repeated. “Tell me... what happened? What’s going on? I remember fighting Murtagh, but everything since then is a little blurry. And who’re they in the bubble things?” she asked, indicating the two adults trapped in the translucent prisons. “We don’t know exactly, but Murtagh took control of you somehow” Sakura explained, letting Jin get his breath back. “He used to you to recover all the Numbers and put them on his machine, which he used to merge the real world and the virtual world. We all came here to rescue you and try to reverse it. But now the machine’s been stolen by someone else and is on the verge of breaking down, and if it does...” She surprised herself with how well she explained everything. Kaneko took in everything without comment or much reaction, other than to nod she understood. “I’m sorry it’s a lot to take in, but that’s all I know. I’m glad you’re okay now. Jin, we have to free the others and escape before Murtagh...” [i]“...comes back?”[/i] Sakura swallowed as Murtagh appeared in the shadows, casually leaning against a side pillar. He did not appear to be angry, or indeed surprised, as he watched the scene play out with a disinterested air. The three backed off as he walked out towards them, his bronze D-Wing arming as he advanced. “What, you didn’t seriously think I wouldn’t be keeping one eye on you all whilst I was trying to salvage my world did you?” he asked, amused by their ignorance. “I didn’t expect my possession over Kaneko to be broken quite that easily, although don’t you get any delusions of grandeur boy. I think that dragon she holds so dear had more to do with it. It’s beginning to annoy me.” Murtagh grinned as they started to run out of room. “Looks like I’d better take it off you when I re-establish my control over you, even if it does weaken you as a tool of my use against those who are threatening my world. Because you are going to help me recover the converter and the Numbers from them. And as for you meddlesome boy, I don’t know who you are or why you think you’re something special, but you need to be taught a lesson about knowing your place in the world... that is, before I erase you from it.” “You... you evil maniac!” Kaneko retorted as best she could. “You won’t beat me again. This time I make you pay for hurting my sensei and my friends and guardians and everyone in my care!” Jin and Sakura added their encouragement, the former stepping up beside her. “Thank you” she whispered. Three kids, opposing him. It was hilarious, watching them look so determined as they reactivated their D-Disks. Kaneko could talk all she wanted, she was far from convincing. As the duel re-engaged as a battle royal, the Zenmaio returned along with the snarling Galaxy Eyes (ATK 3500), this time side by side against him. He would savour destroying them as he took his hand. “Bow... before your god!” “Duel!” “It’s my turn. Draw!” Murtagh smiled as he snatched not one, but two cards. “This is for all intents and purposes a two on one match after all. Therefore to level the playing field I shall take two cards during each draw phase to compensate.” “What? That you’ve let us rip great bits out of each other first isn’t head start enough, you big coward!” Kaneko shouted. She was promptly ignored. “My world, my rules. And with them I can show you the full extent of my powers and make you suffer to the maximum. First I use [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Card_Destruction"]Hand Obliteration[/url] to discard all cards in our hands and redraw afresh.” As he took six new cards, Murtagh’s mood improved drastically from savage to ecstasy. “Also because [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Eclipse_Wyvern"]Eclipse Wyvern[/url] was sent to the cemetery by Hand Obliteration, I can banish a high level dragon from my deck. As for now, I summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dragorado"]Dragorado[/url]. Then I use [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Monster_Reborn"]Raise Dead[/url] to resurrect [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Divine_Dragon_Apocralyph"]God Dragon Apocalypse[/url]!” Two smaller dragons appeared side by side for a moment, Jin immediately recognising their matching levels. Murtagh was quick to capitalise. “Now I overlay my two level four monsters! Xyz summon!” The familiar starry vortex opened, through which the dragons sank and a seal rose up in their place. A light blue cocoon, ornately and delicately crafted to house its sleeping power. Kaneko blinked as she saw it. This Number? This wasn’t in keeping with him. Murtagh had become still as he watched the cocoon split, and a pair of large cerulean shade wings unfurled to reveal a large butterfly creature, with the body of an elf like woman with insect like features in a matching dress. The glowing runes of the Number appeared on the right wing (Rk4, ATK 1600). “Number 55: Gentle Spirit Bluewing!” “In case you were feeling bad about Galaxy Eyes taking your Zenmaio’s overlay unit boy, don’t” Murtagh addressed Jin, his voice oddly hollow. “When Bluewing is summoned, all overlay units attached to other monsters are immediately detached.” [i]‘It is this effect and this monster’s other defensive capabilities that would have saved Izura. If she had just used it, and the [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Xyz_Reborn"]Xyz Reborn[/url] she had set. Sister, why did you let yourself die? Why did you think it was the only way to reach me?’[/i] He was becoming lost, with a curse he shook himself out of his trance and continued. “Anyway, next by banishing Eclipse Wyvern and [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Darkflare_Dragon"]Darkflare Dragon[/url] from my cemetery, I special summon another dragon. [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Lightpulsar_Dragon"]Lightpulsar Dragon[/url]!” Blasting through the ghosts of the other dragons appeared a silvery blue beast (Lv6, ATK 2500). “Now Eclipse Wyvern’s effect completes, adding the dragon it banished to my hand. Next I use the magic card [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Monster_Gate"]Monster Gate[/url]; to release Bluewing and summon the next monster in my deck.” Two magic cards flew into the cemetery before he got what he wanted, his mismatched eyes wide with delight as the form of a gold serpent like dragon appeared (Lv6, ATK 2400). “When Bluewing is sent to the cemetery, I can draw one card. Then I overlay my level six Lightpulsar Dragon and [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Prime_Material_Dragon"]Material Dragon[/url], Xyz summon!” Sakura and Jin froze as the volcanic seal descended from the golden swirl opening in the roof, exploding into life and its creation. Voiceless inside the bubbles, Daiki and Clarissa could only crane their vision upwards as the giant golem unfurled itself, pushing against and through the hole with its hammer like fist to make room for its enormous bulk, the fiery mountain on its shoulder destroying the ceiling above it to expose the dark dying sky outside. Kaneko simply gulped, as Murtagh descended into delirium. “Rise once more, juggernaut of destruction. [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Number_6:_Chronomaly_Atlandis"]Number 6: OOPArts Atlanthal[/url]!” ...05:42:17... Running as fast as they could through the shadows of the ruined streets, Hideo Mai and Kenji continued to pick their way towards their allies. They were exhausted, but they had to keep running. They were still half a mile short of their destination at least, and they could still hear the screeching cries of the Demonic Roar Gods all around them. Hideo was at the front, wild and bleary eyed and short for breath, forcing himself to go on despite his physique and pulling Mai along the broken pavement. “We’re going to die out here aren’t we?” Kenji moaned as he trailed behind, clutching his ribs. “Don’t say that” Hideo panted. “I am not dying out here like this. Come on, we have to keep running. Those things could find us any minute.” He wasn’t wrong. Suddenly Mai pulled them into a ruined house, as another smaller demon swooped past. It didn’t appear to have noticed them. Creeping back into the street from their hiding place, the streets crackled to the fires that engulfed sporadic buildings, but all else was quiet. “Do you think it’s gone?” A second, louder and more twisted screech answered. Behind them, another of the rulers of the group, a gold plated demon queen [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Fabled_Leviathan"]Leviathan[/url] with long flaming hair and a fanged grin, descended from the night sky to hover just above them, cackling as a sphere of dark energy swelled in its palm. “Run!” Hideo shouted, pulling Mai after him as Leviathan attacked. She managed to react in time, but Kenji didn’t. He just stood there, frozen by fear before the giant creature. Just before the energy ball slammed into the earth behind him, the blast lifting him off his feet, Hideo glanced back just in time to see the energy ball pass through Kenji’s body, his body obliterated into tiny pieces as it went through him and crashed into the earth. The blast threw them both to the ground, leaving them struggling to get up as the demon queen charged a second attack. Mai tried to say something, but no noise came out as Hideo felt her hand tighten around his. Squeezing back, he closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable. “FIRE!!” Cackling was suddenly replaced by gunfire and harsh screaming. Opening in their eyes again, the couple saw the demon queen buckle as laser rounds blasted through it from all angles before it faded snarling in anger into the ether and disappeared. The creature gone, someone roughly pulled them to their feet from behind. It was a government agent, covered in the scars of battle, beckoning them to follow him back towards his comrades providing covering fire from the large and formerly ornate building behind them. A few other Demonic Gods had sensed the disturbance and were on the attack, but the smaller winged creatures were dispatched. However oddly they took a lot more gunfire in comparison, and rather than fading away like Leviathan their bloody carcasses fell to earth. Well, maybe it had retreated Hideo thought. Taking one last sorry look at the scorched ground where Kenji had been standing, he following the others into the building. Further down the street, Tarao crumpled the failing monster’s card in his hand and punched the bonnet of the car parked next to him, making Junichi jump. “Blast it all, I said you should have aimed.” “Well it’s a good job I didn’t now they’ve arrived” his son shakily replied. “It doesn’t matter now. He’s in their guard, where you can’t get him. Now can you please end this mad crusade?” “Not a chance” Tarao snapped as he disarmed the D-Disk. He would get him one way or another, but first he had to dispose of the evidence. Fire would do that very nicely, as he chucked the D-Disk into the nearest one. Something screeched as it flew overhead, one of the smaller demons, but it let them be. It was funny how he barely flinched now compared to his first reaction to them. “Come on Junichi.” Inside was the large reception lobby of what had been a hotel, now turned into a refugee camp. Those who had somehow managed to make their way here littered the corridors, glumly acknowledging the country’s leader reduced to their level as just another pair of mouths to share rations between, before receding back into their hollow states of misery. A couple of the groups had young children with them, who were crying. Hideo felt numb as he surveyed the scene, before a familiar face arrived to greet him. “Thought you were staying at your building” Baron asked sharply. He seemed unharmed by the battles he must have gone through to get here. It took Hideo a few attempts to reply. “Couldn’t do it, wanted to join up with you” Hideo he mumbled. It all seemed so weak now. His bloody minded decision to come here had cost another young man his life. Mai, so exhausted by what had happened, needed to sit a short way away as they talked. “What are you doing here?” “Our base was getting hammered and was taking severe damage, so we had to move to a more strategic location out of the open and a bit more innocuous among the built up area. We managed to get all we needed here to work with easily enough and have our men working hard. But now there are all these survivors who have made their way here after their nearby homes got demolished, and protecting the public is our duty, one the men desperately want to fulfil.” “I see. What of Murtagh, have we managed to find him and come up with a way to reverse things at this late hour?” “Yes, we’ve got men on the ground at his base and fighting him. It’s been a while since I was last able to contact them being a covert op and all, but despite the initial landing going badly the main group are still alive according to their life support readouts. Piotr’s confident they’ll keep fighting somehow.” Before Hideo could ask who Piotr was or what exactly he meant at all, the doors opened to let in the sounds of more gunfire and more refugees to hurry inside. To his surprise, the suited figures of Tarao and Junichi ran in for cover, looking terrified by their surroundings. “Hideo?” Tarao blurted before he could reply. “Director Murakami-san? What is going on? We were trying to make our way to your base in the hope of some safety from this... this catastrophe, but we got forced to come down here and run into this... place. What’s going on?” “Mr Ageda, I’m not sure you’re going to believe me if I told you” Baron sighed. Curious as to their sudden arrival behind them and looking a lot less weary than he felt, Hideo looked to Junichi. The young man just averted his gaze to the floor, not giving him the slightest look or acknowledgement of even his presence as Tarao continued to fluster. “B-b-b-but... well... maybe” he stuttered, glancing wildly around the room for someone who might offer him an explanation, or better yet a solution or a way out. “How are we to deal with this crisis?” “We have forces on the ground combating the threat right now” Baron shrugged simply. “We’re struggling for contact, but we know they’re still hanging in there in some capacity. We also have our top minds working from here. If they are successful then a recovery may still be possible” “But... very well.” To Hideo’s surprise, Tarao just seemed to give up with a fatigued look and walk away. “We will leave it in the hands of those you have placed your faith in. We’ll be around if you need us for anything, although I do feel very tired.” Turning his back on the Prime Minister and the director and beckoning Junichi to follow, Tarao left them to it, whilst the gears in his darkened mind silently continued to shift to another plan. ...05:45:21... “Kaneko” Jin asked slowly as the towering stone giant loomed over them (Rk6, ATK 2600). “If you’re scared by that thing, how terrified do I need to be?” “A bit” she replied. “Atlanthal is... I remember... It’s the Number Murtagh beat me with last time.” “Atlanthal’s effect activates” Murtagh declared. “When it is summoned, it can target another Number such as Gentle Spirit Bluewing in my cemetery and equip itself with it, gaining half of its attack points.” Smoke billowed from the volcanic peak as Atlanthal got a boost (ATK 3400). “Then I activate his other effect. By sending the equipped monster to the cemetery along with an overlay unit, your life points are immediately cut in half!” Screaming and pounding helplessly in their soundproof bubbles, Clarissa and Daiki could only watch (or not) as the volcano erupted, indiscriminately showering the arena in molten debris. Kaneko cried out as chunks of magma exploded around her, ducking beneath her little gauntlet (LP 1500). Jin dropped to one knee, struggled for oxygen. The effect did minimal damage to him, but he was so beaten and exhausted by now standing was difficult (LP 150). Even Sakura was caught in the giant’s rage, having duck and evade the heavy rocks falling towards her and being thrown about by their impact. “Pathetic” Murtagh sniffed as he watched them struggle. “Bowing already before the god and his servant. Before your former servant Kaneko.” Her attempt at glaring amused him. “You harp on about how they’re your precious friends, but they’re just your slaves and your weapons. Why else would creatures such as Atlanthal, Big Eye and Shark Drake to name but a few be so destructive and vindictive? Why else would you abandon them across the world?” “You know what they are” Kaneko growled. “They are part of me. Parts of me which are good, bad, kind, powerful, and scary when I get mad.” “Aw, you mad now? That was your childish idea of a threat wasn’t it? Well how about your childish attempt to stop me by jumping off a building to try and stay out of my clutches? You going to try that again?” He could see Clarissa’s reaction, which was all the more amusing. “One face down, turn end.” Jin took his card without word and studied his refreshed hand. It wasn’t as bad as it had been before Murtagh’s Hand Obliteration, but he had no way of getting rid of that behemoth. Hopefully Kaneko would be able to provide something more with that dragon of hers. He’d never seen a creature like it, and he had no idea of its effect other than it had powered itself up after battling his monster somehow. Hopefully she had a plan, and if she needed his help, if she the prodigy duelist of Real Duel actually needed the help of him a teenage nobody, then he would try and provide as best he could. “I set a card and end my turn.” “My turn then.” She had to be calm. She had to be brave. She had to focus. But looking at Murtagh and Atlanthal, all those thoughts and feelings kept escaping her. However with Galaxy Eyes and her hand, maybe if she could just get a hit in, it would prove something to her. “I activate the magic card [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Photon_Sanctuary"]Photon Sanctuary[/url]. This special summons two Photon tokens to my field, which I can then use for the normal or special summon of a light attribute monster. I release them both to summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Photon_Wyvern"]Photon Wyvern[/url]!” Two balls of light burst into blinding radiance, from which a smaller cousin of Galaxy Eyes emerged. A spectral oriental dragon made entirely from the same luminous matter, the shrieking wyvern spread its flame like wings and took flight (Lv7, ATK 2500). “Now when Wyvern is advance summoned successfully, all set cards on the field are destroyed!” “Only if they remain face down” Murtagh sneered. “I activate the trap card [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Fiendish_Chain"]Demon Chain[/url]. By using this permanent trap I can wrap up your Galaxy Eyes; sealing its attack and effect!” Kaneko grimaced as her guardian was trapped by the black chains cinching around its wings and necks. “Did you really think you were going to get to me by such an amateur strategy that I’ve already seen before?” “Damn it, I’ve got no cards left” she realised, in doing so she had wasted Wyvern. “I end my turn.” “Then it is my turn again, and with it I draw an additional card to normal.” Whereas Kaneko was out of resources in hand and Jin limited to two, he was now back up to five. And as he studied the cards he had picked up, his gaze was drawn to the small golden dragon. [i]‘Yes, at last.’[/i] “Now my precious Kaneko, darling Sakura, loving parents and annoying Jinrei, it is time to witness my ultimate power. But first, speaking of power, Atlanthal is now out of it and thus out of usefulness. So I activate Xyz change!” “You what?” Sakura and Jin both blurted as the mighty golem lost shape and faded back into its sealed form, sinking into the vortex opening beneath it. In its place rose a large dragon creature, covered in amber and emerald plate. On its back sat a rider in similar armour, carrying two lances. But the most crucial features were the two overlay comets circling the neck, its differing rank, and the absence of a Number of any kind on its body (Rk7, ATK 2600). Even Clarissa and Daiki looked in shock; only Kaneko was unaffected compared to Jin. “Would someone please explain what just happened?” “Ahahaha, ignorant child! This is the power that only a being such as myself or Kaneko can tap into as we please, a power called Xyz change. By using a single Xyz monster as an overlay unit, such as the rank six Atlanthal, I can summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Gaia_Dragon%2C_the_Thunder_Charger"]Thunderclap Knight Gaia Dragoon[/url], and it also retains the remaining unit attached to Atlanthal. This is what separates me from you little boy, I can perform feats and miracles that you can’t even comprehend, while you live out your mundane and meaningless existence!” “But why would you sacrifice Atlanthal for such a monster?” Sakura asked, dreading the answer. “It’s not a Number, and it’s so much weaker.” “You misunderstand Sakura; this is not the ultimate power I was referring to. Dragoon is merely a means to an end” Murtagh grinned. “You see all I really needed was a free change in type, because now by banishing the dragon type Gaia, I can special summon the feared [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Red-Eyes_Darkness_Metal_Dragon"]Red Eyes Dark Metal Dragon[/url]!” Covered in soulless black metal, one of the most feared and powerful dragons in Duel Monsters hit the field with a scraping cry (Lv10, ATK 2800). “I use his effect, special summoning his original form [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Red-Eyes_B._Dragon"]Red Eyes Black Dragon[/url] from my cemetery.” Discarded earlier, the original dark dragon joined its metal cousin (Lv7, ATK 2400). All the while the three became more and more unsettled as Murtagh revealed one of his drawn cards. “Next I summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Bright_Star_Dragon"]Star Bright Dragon[/url].” As the small golden dragon joined its brethren, Murtagh’s raving became more dark and ominous. Sakura shuddered as he looked over the three of them. Desperately Jin turned to Kaneko for answers. She was trying to work it out, and something was dawning on her. His soul froze as she realised what was coming, her expression pale, as she simply mouthed the words [i]‘oh no’[/i]. “Star Bright Dragon’s effect. When normal summoned, it can target another monster and increase its level by two. My target is Red Eyes Black Dragon. Then I activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Galaxy_Queen%27s_Light"]Galaxy Queen's Light[/url], targeting Red Eyes and changing the levels of all my other monsters to match it.” Jin gasped as the displayed status’ of each monster changed (Lv9). This was... going to be really bad! Even the exposed sky above seemed to respond, as thunder and lightning crashed in the darkness, but not enough to distract from Murtagh’s dark laughter that confirmed what was coming. “Now children, you face the wrath of the ultimate god. This god that is my soul. I overlay my three level nine monsters! Xyz summon!” The three dragons bodies turned to sparks and shot upwards, crashing into the vortex. The spiral exploded as the last one plunged in, the force knocking everyone off their feet except for Murtagh, who stood there in the raging winds coming from the vortex reaching out for the shadow that was starting to descend. The massive shadow of a serpentine dragon, its thick torso coiling round to fit through the portal before tapering off to a wicked tail. It was huge, at least thirty or more times the size of Galaxy Eyes. Bright amethyst wings and fins spread, and a pair of red eyes opened high above, the dragon screamed in fury with him. “Behold mortals; the unstoppable power of [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Number_92%3A_Fake-Body_God_Dragon%2C_Heart-eartH_Dragon"]Number 92: False Skeletal God Dragon[/url]!” “That... that’s insane!” Sakura started, awestruck by this behemoth. A rank nine; it must have immense power, but as its display flashed in the air beside it, she was most surprised by what she saw (Rk9, ATK 0). “Wait, it has zero attack points?” “Sakura!” Jin groaned in exasperation. “Surely even you must realise by now that when the bad guy is that confident in what he’s summoned that’s it going to be more powerful than that stat suggests.” She felt embarrassed for a moment, but there was no time for that for long with so much terror at hand. Something Murtagh was keen to dish out. “Now Kaneko, you will get to feel the force of your most powerful Number first!” he roared, to which the little girl gulped. “False Skeletal God Dragon, attack Galaxy Eyes! Heart Break Cannon Fire!” “What?” the two youngsters and parents all exclaimed as the enormous dragon took a great breath of flame in its mighty jaws. “What are you doing?” Sakura asked. “False Skeletal God Dragon cannot be destroyed by battle, by a Number or not, and it takes no damage from the battles it is involved in” Murtagh replied sinisterly. “However, the owner of the monster battling my God Dragon will be taking the appropriate amount of battle damage instead. Meaning that I’m going to defeat the darling little girl those Real Duel fools created to replace me once again.” Kaneko was trembling, helpless to stop this as Murtagh punched towards her. “Now God Dragon, prove to everyone once and for all that I am the most superior being in existence for now and eternity! Attack!” “I activate my trap” Jin reacted desperately with the only move he hand. “[url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Zenmailstrom"]Spiral Style Spring[/url]. By releasing Zenmaio, I can special summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Wind-Up_Soldier"]Mainspring Soldier[/url] from my hand.” The toy soldier appeared in a whirl of mechanical movement (Lv4, ATK 1800). “Then when he’s summoned successfully, I can summon another Mainspring from my deck that was the same attack points!” The dragon released its blast of flame that exploded like a cannon, the sound alone sent a shockwave preceding the ball of intense fire streaming towards the helpless Galaxy Eyes. Kaneko just stood there, transfixed, despite Sakura’s screaming. Clarissa screamed silently. Daiki froze. As the flame rocketed towards the dragon, a portal opened in front of it at the last moment, from which flew [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Wind-Up_Knight"]Mainspring Knight[/url], shield at the ready (Lv4, ATK 1800). The knight blocked the blast, just, allowing everyone a sigh of relief for a moment. “Thanks” Kaneko breathed, wiping away the sweat. “An unorthodox escape, but I guess it means you really have got better. I owe you one for it.” “How about you repay me by telling me how we stop that thing!” Jin gasped. “I mean, you created that? That thing’s part of your soul? What kind of... what the hell possessed you to create that?” “I was having a really bad day alright? Besides he’s not so bad when he’s with me...” “NOT SO BAD!? How could that... thing ever be considered not so bad!?” “If you don’t mind” Murtagh growled in disbelief as the two children bickered. “You think that was unorthodox? That he got better? I’d say that was a downright fluke! But luck will soon run out for you, as will every other hope, dream and modicum crumb of happiness and prosperity you hope to salvage from this. When my dragon is through with you there will be nothing left except ashes and sorrow, and if anyone doesn’t like my world then they will receive the same! I set a card and end my turn.” “Right, my turn then.” Dreading what was coming Jin tightly shut his eyes and drew, hoping and praying for something good. He’d got no more rank fours to Xyz summon, not that Zenmaister or Maestroke would help much anyway. When he opened them he was amazed to discover that this time he’d actually got something. [i]‘[url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dimensional_Prison"]Dimensional Imprisonment[/url]? Awesome, that will do nicely.’[/i] “I set a card. Turn end.” “False Skeletal God Dragon’s effect activates” Murtagh instantly retaliated, making him jump. It was activating another effect, now? “During the end phase of the opponents turn, I can detach an overlay unit from my mighty Number. Then all the monsters you summoned or cards you set during that turn are banished.” Jin’s jaw dropped as his D Prison trap card simply vanished into nothing. “Ha, the banisher just got banished. Well now that you’ve failed miserably, let’s see what the mini inferior me hopes to accomplish against her precious friend. You think you can take down this part of you; this incredible and destructive power that you would never unleash the full might of? Come on Kaneko.” Kaneko swallowed as she drew. What Murtagh said was true; she knew the full extent of False Skeletal God’s immense power. Too much power, and it was something she would never use herself unless in dire need. That knowledge also made her cringe at what she’d just drawn. She did also need resources to have a chance of stopping it, but... well, no choice. “Magic card, [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Photon_Sublimation"]Photon Sublimation[/url]. By banishing two Photon monsters from my cemetery, I can draw two new cards.” The spirits of Crusher and Slasher vanished into the ether, as Kaneko took her next two cards. The second card of the pair left her stunned. [i]‘This is... this is exactly what I need. I could defeat him with this... except...’[/i] Her gaze wandered to Murtagh’s face down card. More memories came flashing back from the final stages of her duel with him mere hours ago. How she had lost... because she made a mistake. ‘[i]If that face down is Declaration of God again, or something similar that stops me in anyway, then False Skeletal God Dragon will banish it, and with it my last chance. I’d be putting the lives of everyone in danger if I make a mistake now. If I screw up again... I... I can’t... I can’t do it. Not yet. It’s... it’s too risky.[/i]’ Shuddering as she made her decision and unable to take a chance, she turned to the first card. “I activate the [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Foolish_Burial"]Foolish Burial[/url] magic card. By using this, I can send [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Necro_Gardna"]Necro Gardna[/url] directly to my cemetery. Something my dragon can do nothing about.” “Is that all?” Murtagh sniggered as Kaneko, to Jin and Sakura’s disbelief, appeared to leave it at that. “Have you accepted defeat? Is your special little deck really that weak? Or... are you just scared?” “I... I don’t know what you’re talking about” Kaneko stammered. “Oh you do. You know what happened in our last duel is just going to happen all over again. You’re trying to avoid it, but you know it will end up the same way. You know I’m better than you, and you know soon you’ll back under my control. Well, I understand if you don’t want to admit it, even though let’s be honest, it’s not the worst way you could end up here. You could end up like that fool Orion.” Kaneko was on the verge of tears, unable to speak as Murtagh offered her one last chance to move, before with a shrug he proceeded to draw two cards. “Alright if you want it, then let’s finish things. False Skeleton God Dragon, attack Galaxy Eyes. Heart Break Cannon Fire!” “Necro Gardna activates” Kaneko responded automatically. The cannon blast smashed straight into the spectral warrior as he took the attack for the dragon. Murtagh didn’t seem too worried about this though. He had expected it after all. “Trap card, [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Treacherous_Trap_Hole"]Crafty Pitfall[/url]!” he roared. Kaneko gasped as his face down suddenly opened. “Because there are no trap cards in my cemetery, I can use this to destroy monsters on the field. Say goodbye to your precious Photon monsters as I destroy them... and False Skeletal God Dragon.” “Wait, what?” Jin blinked as the two great luminous dragons sank into the huge trap hole opening beneath them, along with the gigantic dragon collapsing on top of them. He was about to ask why he was choosing to destroy his own dragon, but Murtagh was already smirking slyly at him, telling him to wait for it... A pair of red eyes opened in the darkness above him. They watched Murtagh in terror for a second, before he was slowly obscured by the thick torso of the wicked dragon reappearing before him, shrieking more viciously than before. “It’s back?” Jin croaked, looking desperately to Kaneko for an explanation. She was entirely transfixed on the dragon, unable to tear her gaze away. “But how?” “When False Skeletal God Dragon is destroyed when it has overlay units attached, it can special summon itself from the cemetery” Murtagh chuckled darkly. “An immortal god, undying and unyielding in its rule. Oh, and one more thing you should know. When it’s special summoned by its own effect, another one triggers. Upon its return from the dead, False Skeletal God Dragon gains attack points for every card that is banished from play... multiplied by one thousand. There are currently seven banished cards...” Jin wanted to run. Run as fast as he could and hide somewhere far out of the reach of that accursed creature. But his body wouldn’t respond. He couldn’t even cry out. Everyone went numb as the spectral images of three dragons, two Photons, Necro Gardna and D Prison appeared above the dragon, before it unleashed another bloodthirsty screech (ATK 7000). That much attack power, there’d be no doubt that if one was in the way of that, they would be erased instantly. “Seven thousand... That’s just... there’s no way we can beat that.” “No, there isn’t!” Murtagh smirked triumphantly. “And of course, we’re still in the battle phase!” Both of them jumped, both were open to this with nothing remotely helpful on the field. “Now Kaneko, I’ve tried to be nice. But if you won’t come back into my control, then I no longer have need for your existence. God Dragon, erase that meddlesome brat forever! Heart Break Cannon Fire!” Straining every sinew and muscle in its neck and jaws the great dragon charged up the most intense, devastating fireball it could, releasing it like a bomb that could eliminate entire nations. Hurtling straight towards the helpless Kaneko. Murtagh was laughing maniacally. Sakura screamed. Clarissa and Daiki went numb as Kaneko screamed in terror. “Noooo!” “From my hand, [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Swift_Scarecrow"]Quick Attack Scarecrow[/url] activates. This negates a direct attack and ends the battle phase.” At the last second, something resembling a metal scarecrow dived in front of her, intercepting the attack. The scarecrow exploded, but could not contain all the blast. The overflow of blowback was enough to force Kaneko and Jin skidding backwards into the far wall, halted only by thudding into it. “Jin?” she puffed, struggling to look up she was so drained of energy. “We’re... still alive?” “Just” he replied weakly. “But just is enough. Because I’ve just seen a way.” He could see Murtagh emerge from behind the dragon to look at him like he’d lost his mind. “False Skeletal God Dragon can only revive itself when it has overlay units. But now it has none, meaning we can strike it.” Kaneko took a while to process, but suddenly her face lit up as she cottoned on. Maybe they had a chance. “You think?” Murtagh sneered. “I summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Alexandrite_Dragon"]Alexandrite Dragon[/url]. Then I activate the permanent magic [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Spirit_Converter"]Spirit Conversion Device[/url].” A weird orbital machine appeared above the dragon. “Once per turn, I can attach a normal light attribute monster to an Xyz monster I control. Meaning as long as I keep drawing or recycling light monsters, my God Dragon is indestructible!” Murtagh laughed in their despair as the bejewelled dragon was transformed into an overlay unit. “I set one card. Turn end. And with it, all of your chances of victory are gone. What did you hope to accomplish here? Overthrowing me? Saving your friends? Returning the world to its boring old normal state. Well bad news kids. You’ve, failed!” Murtagh continued to gloat as the young duelists leant against the wall for support, their failure sinking in. Except one of them refused to give up. The girls watched as Jin staggered forward and went for his deck one more time. One last time. His vision was blurry now, he was covered in burns and bruises and he could taste blood in his throat. But still, he could see this dragon, and its narcissistic master beneath it. [i]‘Well, this is it. I’m not giving up. I won’t fail. Not now. Not to you. Not ever. I won’t let you hurt all these people, and everyone at home like my mom and all those guys caring for me, and everyone else’s sake. Even if it’s the last thing I do, I will stop you and that blasted dragon.’[/i] Holding his breath, he drew. “I activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Card_of_Variation"]Treasure Card Turnover[/url]. This lets me draw two cards, but I’ll take damage if I don’t discard one at the end phase.” No thought for the risk, grabbing two more cards, his breathing stopped on its own. [i]‘This card. And my face down. It’s gonna... I got it!’[/i] “I activate the [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Cross_Attack"]Cross Attack[/url] magic card” Jin shouted as loud as he could. “Because my Soldier and Knight have the same attack points, I can have one of them attack directly this turn. I choose Soldier.” The soldier stepped forward towards the sceptical looking Murtagh. “Next I activate Soldier’s effect to boost its attack by four hundred. Then I activate the trap card I’ve had set since the first turn of this duel, [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Overwind"]Over Wrench[/url], to further double that attack!” Whirring and moving at twice the speed, the supped up warrior lunged (ATK 4400). Murtagh blinked in surprise as Jin, standing tall with whatever he had left, gave the command. “You’re through Murtagh! Go Soldier, attack Murtagh directly!” The soldier lunged, past the dragon, Murtagh grunted as its metal pincer hit him squarely in the chest. Jin leapt and punched the air, he done it! Except, Murtagh was grinning at him again. “So close boy, but just short. I activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Defense_Draw"]Guard Block[/url], which reduces the battle damage to zero. And I draw a card.” “You’re kidding?!” Jin sunk to his knees in disbelief as the attack failed. He thought he’d got it, and now he was exposed. With nothing left to Xyz into before Soldier returned to his hand, Knight was stuck in attack. All fight gone, he looked at his remaining card. It was situational at best, but maybe if he set it, maybe Murtagh would use God Dragon to banish it and leave himself open. Maybe. He had to try. “I set one card...” he groaned. “Then... I end my turn.” He discarded his returned Soldier, thus avoiding the damage effect of Treasure Card Turnover, and waited for Murtagh to react. To do something. But he didn’t. He wasn’t going to take it. He was happy to let him have his meaningless card to keep God Dragon protected, and having drawn [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Silent_Doom"]Silent Dead[/url], that would continue. And he was certainly done. Which just left Kaneko. It just left them all with one last chance, riding on her. She who had already had the chance, and bottled it. Yes Murtagh’s Pitfall trap would have stopped her anyway, but now there was no chance at all. With no cards on her field, Galaxy Eyes and its protection gone, the situation was hopeless. She’d let everyone down. Even as Sakura helped her up, it was pointless. It was over. But looking at Jin, he hadn’t given up. He’d tried, despite the enormity of the task and the monster opposing them. He’d found something, somewhere, some belief or resolve to give it one more shot. She’d dragged him into all this, had he done it for her? No, not just her. Well he’d given it a go, and had come close. The least she could do was try. As much as it scared her, as much as it seemed hopeless, she had to try. As she went to draw her last card, there was also the mysterious presence of the two older people she’d caught glimpses of in the bubble prisons. She couldn’t see their occupants, Murtagh must want to keep them hidden for some reason. It was strange, but glancing at them she felt compelled to do something, if only out of a strange curiosity or an unknown compulsion. She had to do something... [i]‘This card...?’[/i] “I activate the magic card [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Feelings_Towards_the_Future"]Feeling Towards the Future[/url]!” Murtagh blinked as Kaneko suddenly stood up and activated another magic card he had no knowledge of. “This special summons three monsters from the cemetery that all have different levels. However their attacks become zero, their effects are negated, and I cannot special summon again this turn except by Xyz summon. And if I fail to do that, I’ll lose four thousand life points during the end phase.” In three columns of light the tiny Kuribolt, the spectral Wyvern, and the mighty Galaxy Eyes all returned with not an attack point between them. “Then I summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Photon_Satellite"]Photon Satellite[/url]!” Murtagh blinked as a small spacecraft appeared beside them. Why the hell was Kaneko smiling about something so weak (Lv1, ATK 0)? “Once per turn, Satellite can target another Photon monster and increase both their levels to the combined total, making both it and Wyvern level eight.” “Wait a minute” Murtagh seemed to have his own flashback as the two monsters powered up (Lv8). “This is what you were attempting with Kaiser last time?” “You bet. But this time it’s going to work. I overlay Galaxy Eyes, Wyvern, and Satellite. Xyz summon!” Galaxy Eyes roared as it led the way, followed by the other Photon monsters into the gigantic swirling vortex overhead. Jin, Sakura, Clarissa, Daiki, Murtagh all looked up at it in wonder as Kaneko called out to the beyond, and a louder, more vicious roar answered the call; shaking the palace to the foundations. “I’ll extend my heart out to the farthest reaches of the world and beyond, to find something pure and noble in the deepest corner of the universe to guide me and keep me safe. Galaxy Eyes; hear my prayer for help and unleash your true power!” The vortex exploded as something huge crashed out; all gasped at the sight of a mighty three headed dragon! A beast with a powerful body and radiant crimson scales, protected by cobalt armour, spreading its long wings and releasing three thunderous, ear-splitting roars (Rk8, ATK 4500). “[url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Neo_Galaxy-Eyes_Photon_Dragon"]Neo Galaxy Eyes Photon Dragon[/url]!” Murtagh looked up at the creature speechlessly. Such a creature existed, that had become guardian to this child? This child who suddenly transformed, believing it would defeat him. Its three heads looked back down at him most angrily, but still he had False Skeletal God Dragon, it was the size of a wasp compared to that. “That’s nothing. There’s nothing it can do to me and this ultimate Number.” “Are you sure?” Kaneko smiled, increased by his very concerned look. “When Neo Galaxy Eyes is summoned using regular Galaxy Eyes as an overlay unit, the effects of all other face up cards on the field are negated, meaning no more banishment or Number’s immunity. Then I activate Neo Galaxy Eyes effect! By detaching an overlay unit, it destroys the overlay units of all other Xyz monsters on the field, and gains five hundred attack points for each of them.” Neo Galaxy Eyes roared again, the sound shattered the orb floating around the dark dragon (ATK 5000). “Well that’s all very dandy” Murtagh snapped insistently. “So you slowed him down a bit, but my dragon is still far stronger in terms of pure power. There’s nothing you can do about that!” True enough, there was nothing she could do about that. Not alone anyway. But she wasn’t alone, as she turned to her kneeling partner. Her smile confused him. “Jin, your face down. Now is good.” “You... you know what I set?” “No, not exactly. That would be impossible.” She giggled at his reaction. “But I believe in you. You may have set it as a bluff for God Dragon, but I believe it will help.” Jin blinked, she was right. His trap was situational, but thanks to Neo Galaxy Eyes, the situation was now perfect. They’d... somehow... “I activate my face down... [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Fiery_Fervour"]Burning Fighting Spirit[/url]” Jin gasped, Murtagh fully double taking as the trap card revealed itself. “This equips to a monster on the field. Then when that monster battles another monster whose attack points have been increased by an effect, its attack is doubled during the damage step!” Looking back to his partner, she nodded. That was all correct, and it was just what she had hoped for. He could see Sakura working it out and trying to put together all the effects, and cheering as it came to her. He couldn’t see much of Daiki and Clarissa this far away from them, but he hoped the message had got through, and he thought he could see Daiki’s shadow punching the air. And he could definitely see Murtagh, his expression a gaping mixture of fear, amazement, and complete disbelief. “That’s... that’s insane! And what kind of amateur uses Burning Fighting Spirit in the first place!?” “He does” Kaneko smiled. “He’s my amateur! Now Neo Galaxy Eyes, my most powerful guardian armed with my friend’s wishes, attack False Skeletal God Dragon!” Its entire body bursting into a crimson aura, the dragon charged its mighty attack (ATK 10,000). The gigantic Number refused to go quietly, desperately charging and releasing its own cannon of hellfire to get in first. But this only served to increase the might of the divinity above the girl wrapped in her own golden aura as she cried out to it. “Go Neo Galaxy Eyes! Ultimate Photon Stream!” Neo Galaxy Eyes roared as it hit maximum charge and fired three rays of photon energy. The beams lanced through the fireball hurtling towards it, obliterating it instantly, before each crashed into the body, neck and face of the dark deity. The dragon thrashed and screamed, its heavy body smashing into pillars and sections of roof already exploding from the wildfire, before slowly vanishing into nothingness. This time there would be no return. Heavy chunks of stone fell all around them and Murtagh (LP 1000). He was still now, fixated on the dragon that was descending down to him, landing just in front of him. “The last of Neo Galaxy Eyes effects” Kaneko had to shout over the destruction. Sakura yelled and dived out of the way as a section of wall came crashing down behind her. Jin ducked as a statue crumbled and fell beside him, no energy left to run. Rocks were bouncing off the prisons of the two trapped adults. The building was collapsing all around them, but her and Murtagh remained still, to the finish. “For every overlay unit it destroyed with its effect, not only does it get a power boost, but an additional attack as well.” Murtagh barely reacted to her, as the dragon prepared a second stream (ATK 5000). “Neo Galaxy Eyes, attack Murtagh directly! Ultimate Photon Stream!” The royal chamber of the Lightlord Palace exploded. The last thing Kaneko saw before dust and sand engulfed her was Neo Galaxy Eyes release three more streams of energy upon Murtagh, before he was launched screaming in defeat into the distance and out of sight (LP 0). 05:59:58... 05:59:59... 06:00:00...[/spoiler] Three hours to go. Comments would be appreciated, especially on this chapter. Go on, I can take critisism if people didn't like it, I'm a big boy. I can certainly take praise [spoiler=Notes on cards used]Yep, Crafty Pitfall destroyed three monsters. If anyone has an alternative that genuinely works I can replace it with I will gladly use it. Please don't suggest another custom. The Numbers are an exception which I feel bad enough about using anyway. Other cards with minor edits were Burning Spirit (had no effect on outcome) and... something else. Can't remember, wrote it too long ago. Speaking of customs: (55 was suppossed to look like mirrored butterfly wings in a 61 / 19 kinda way) [b]Number 55: Gentle Spirit Bluewing[/b] [color=#ffd700][b]LIGHT[/b][/color] **** Warrior/Xyz/Effect 2 Level 4 monsters When this card is Summoned; Detach all Xyz Material of all other Xyz monsters (this effectcannot be chained to by an Xyz monsters effects). When this card is attacked: Detach 1 Xyz Material to end the Battle Phase, and change the attacking monsters into defence and lower its ATK and DEF by 1000. When this card is sent to the Graveyard; draw 1 card. ATK 1600/DEF 2400[/spoiler] For those who are interested, I'm going to finish writing chapter 24:1 now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aerion Brightflame Posted October 26, 2012 Report Share Posted October 26, 2012 That was awesome. And now I shall go into details about why: [spoiler='Spoiler'] Firstly, it was great to see A you summoning 92 conventionally. I mean, really? Well done on that. And Neo Galaxy as well. Twas a great day for dragons. Both duels were good, and I liked the final little speech between Murtagh and Kaneko over Jin, it made me chuckle. I'm hoping thats not Murtagh done away with. My one critisim, is... Jin seems to lucky. He throws himself in these situations, although this one had a genuine reason why he would do it, and comes out fine. His deck seemed to contain a tad to much stall as well. I had no issues with the customs and changes used, as the plot mattered more. Also, random Mokey Mokey abuse? I mean really. It reminds me of one of the Futurama movies they did. That part was quite nice style wise. The politician storyline has never really caught my attention much. I don't know why, but it was fairly good this time. I'll probably enjoy it more when a duel happens, becuase... Wierdly thats when I pay attention to people in the fi more. [/spoiler] A much much better chapter. I mean, I've still got some issues with it, but I'm not sure how to actually say it.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 26, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2012 [quote name='Archbaron Barthandelus' timestamp='1351284419' post='6054462'] That was awesome. And now I shall go into details about why: [spoiler='Spoiler'] Firstly, it was great to see A you summoning 92 conventionally. I mean, really? Well done on that. And Neo Galaxy as well. Twas a great day for dragons. Both duels were good, and I liked the final little speech between Murtagh and Kaneko over Jin, it made me chuckle. I'm hoping thats not Murtagh done away with. My one critisim, is... Jin seems to lucky. He throws himself in these situations, although this one had a genuine reason why he would do it, and comes out fine. His deck seemed to contain a tad to much stall as well. I had no issues with the customs and changes used, as the plot mattered more. Also, random Mokey Mokey abuse? I mean really. It reminds me of one of the Futurama movies they did. That part was quite nice style wise. The politician storyline has never really caught my attention much. I don't know why, but it was fairly good this time. I'll probably enjoy it more when a duel happens, becuase... Wierdly thats when I pay attention to people in the fi more. [/spoiler] A much much better chapter. I mean, I've still got some issues with it, but I'm not sure how to actually say it.. [/quote] Thank you very much. It was a bugger to get in. I thought I was going to have use Zombie Red Eyes, which would have sucked. Annoys me how overused Galaxy Queen's Light is getting in this fic in the next few weeks (more than one use is overuse). But yeah really wanted to have Murtagh use it. And troll with it for a while. And get insane levels of attack. I enjoyed that chuckle enducing line. A lot of what Murtagh says is sort of pseudo-breaking the worth wall that he starts talking on how ridiculous stuff is, such as Jin's card selection Moke Moke just seemed the most natural thing. Understand comments about Jin given the quality of his deck. Please do elaborate on your issues though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reinforce Posted October 26, 2012 Report Share Posted October 26, 2012 I'll stop being lazy and comment now then, the two chapters were both really good, with the duel between Kaneko and Jin turning into a duel with them against Murtagh. Neo Galaxy-eyes appearing was simply splendid, especially since you used Photon Satellite's effect to accomplish it, Photon Satellite being one of my fav photon monsters at the moment. One thing though, shouldn't the traps tht remained set be blown up by Photon Wyvern, rather than remaining set instead, since it was Galaxy-Eyes effect that was blocked, not Wyverns effect? Also, when you said about the three kids standing against him, I was expecting Sakura to join the duel as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 26, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2012 [quote name='Simdoggy' timestamp='1351291150' post='6054510'] I'll stop being lazy and comment now then, the two chapters were both really good, with the duel between Kaneko and Jin turning into a duel with them against Murtagh. Neo Galaxy-eyes appearing was simply splendid, especially since you used Photon Satellite's effect to accomplish it, Photon Satellite being one of my fav photon monsters at the moment. One thing though, shouldn't the traps tht remained set be blown up by Photon Wyvern, rather than remaining set instead, since it was Galaxy-Eyes effect that was blocked, not Wyverns effect? Also, when you said about the three kids standing against him, I was expecting Sakura to join the duel as well. [/quote] I asked... can't remember who I asked... might have been Agro or someone, and apparently it works in the way chains resolve backwards in that Wyvern activates -> Chain activates -> Chain resolves, stopping Galaxy Eyes attack and effect -> Wyvern resolves, destroying set cards, of which there no longer is any. I think. Best thing for me is: I got a monster to 10,000 ATK!!! After nearly two whole fanfics I finally got somethings attack to 10,000!!! I'm so happy! *stealithly kicks the slight card amendment to Burning Fighting Spirit under a rug* glad you enjoyed the chapters dude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brinolovania Posted October 26, 2012 Report Share Posted October 26, 2012 [spoiler=!] That was a lot better than the last chapter. Kaneko vs Jin ended well, and them facing Murtagh was...awesome. Although it is kinda weird how Murtagh was all like "HA HA HA I CAN CHAOS XYZ LOOK AT MY POWER FOOLS...yeah, Imma remove this for Red-Eyes. It wasn't bad my anny means, though, the duel was still epicsauce. NGEPD wrecking Heart-Earth Dragon was the most badass scene yet in a duel in this fic, I'd say. Oh, and the last card effect you modified was NGEPD. He actually doesn't gain attacks equal to the materials removed, he can just attack a number of times equal to the amount he removed, so he could only have actually attacked once. Although, if he negated Heart-Earth's effect, it would've dropped to 0 ATK anyway, so the outcome would have been the same. Itwas a lot better this way anyway. And also, lolMokey. [/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canopy Star - Eon Sphere Posted October 27, 2012 Report Share Posted October 27, 2012 This duel ended better than I thought that it would. I was scared that when Kaneko came back to her senses she would abandon the duel entirely, and I'm glad you didn't do that. Number 92 seems fitting for Murtagh, given his role, and I'm glad I got to see Neo Galaxy Eyes ripping into it. But you do know that Burning Fighting Spirit would have either 1) Not worked as Number 92 had 0 ATK (I know you edited its effect) or 2) doubled NGEPD's original ATK to 9000. Either way the outcome would have been the same. Just sayin'. Abusing Mokey Mokeys furthers the plot! Who knew. And more political shenanigans. Hopefully it should all come together soon. RIP Kenji. He seemed like a nice guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 27, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2012 [quote name='Pacmanexus' timestamp='1351291712' post='6054518'] [spoiler=!] That was a lot better than the last chapter. Kaneko vs Jin ended well, and them facing Murtagh was...awesome. Although it is kinda weird how Murtagh was all like "HA HA HA I CAN CHAOS XYZ LOOK AT MY POWER FOOLS...yeah, Imma remove this for Red-Eyes. It wasn't bad my anny means, though, the duel was still epicsauce. NGEPD wrecking Heart-Earth Dragon was the most badass scene yet in a duel in this fic, I'd say. Oh, and the last card effect you modified was NGEPD. He actually doesn't gain attacks equal to the materials removed, he can just attack a number of times equal to the amount he removed, so he could only have actually attacked once. Although, if he negated Heart-Earth's effect, it would've dropped to 0 ATK anyway, so the outcome would have been the same. Itwas a lot better this way anyway. And also, lolMokey. [/spoiler][/quote] [color=#a9a9a9]Nobody suspects the hinted significance of this new power demonstrated by Murtagh.... excellant...[/color] I know it was a bit... uh... But like he said, Atlanthal had no further use, and I needed a free dragon. I could have gone Seven Store for two cards with Atlanthal and then revived something, but 1) plot and 2) shoehorning in as many Xyz monsters as possible anyway (think of all those released prior to and including ABYR only 12 will fail to feature at all). Oh and 3) rapidly running out of deckspace for Murtagh. But mostly plot. Epic clash of the ultimate dragons, makes me tingly. I didn't realise NG would make its attack drop though. Kinda suspected the two attack thing was an edit, but wanted to use all its effects. Glad this chapter bought things back up to standard, and hopefully there a lot more epic badass scenes to come (I think there are a few to come) [quote name='The Seal of Eon' timestamp='1351338277' post='6054836'] This duel ended better than I thought that it would. I was scared that when Kaneko came back to her senses she would abandon the duel entirely, and I'm glad you didn't do that. Number 92 seems fitting for Murtagh, given his role, and I'm glad I got to see Neo Galaxy Eyes ripping into it. But you do know that Burning Fighting Spirit would have either 1) Not worked as Number 92 had 0 ATK (I know you edited its effect) or 2) doubled NGEPD's original ATK to 9000. Either way the outcome would have been the same. Just sayin'. Abusing Mokey Mokeys furthers the plot! Who knew. And more political shenanigans. Hopefully it should all come together soon. RIP Kenji. He seemed like a nice guy. [/quote] Abandon the duel entirely? In a YGO fic? What is this? You should have seen my face when it was released mate. "Hmmm, I need a kickass ultimate boss monster for Murtagh to use that goes over Shark Drake/Big Eye/Atlanthal in his false deity role..." *Notices Konami are bringing out a Number called Fake God Dragon* "....Thank you!" I know, it would have only hit 9500. But 10,000! Come on. Poor Mokey. I just laughed while writing it, because just the notion of it waking up and being all 'oh, what happened there? Oh never mind' and just carrying on So what do we all think of the abyss and the castle beyond people? There's murder afoot. MUR-DER! No, Kenji was not a nice guy though. I have to disagree with you on this. He was cowardly, and shallow, and avoided confrontation at all times, and was still thinking about his future political career despite everything, and refused to accept what was plainly in front of him. Of all the people to kill off I was more than happy to do him in (although I have now in doing so given myself a problem for later chapters). Thanks for comments guys. Would like to hear from other people as well as the same seven regulars of course (I've caught at least three people in recent weeks veiwing this thread regularly and always shortly after I advertise an update and who haven't commented ever. Not going to name you but I know you're out there, with your broken keyboards. A comment once in a while would be nice, s'all I ask for). But yeah, be excited for the last six chapters. Note: I only have the final chapter left to write. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 29, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2012 [quote]This is, by the way, the bastard that was the primary cause for the two month hiatus because I had no idea how to make it work (the following three chapters were all written before this one). So yeah, really want some feedback on how it's finally turned out. Please don't make all my hard work and stress go ignored by not commenting guys. [/quote] Four comments, fifth by PM, and a like... ... ... ... ... months of stress, and I mean proper, genuine, 'can't sleep at night or concentrate on other things in my life because I'm so worried about how I'm going to make this and the rest of the fic work' kinda stress, finally get it to work in albeit I admit chapters are getting very long and I'm having to edit cards... ... for five comments and a like. When I know there's at least that many people again who are reading this and are uptodate, and haven't offered one word, ONE word of any kind, throughout the entire course of the story. I'm going to say this now: there are some very selfish and ignorant people on this site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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