Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted November 4, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 4, 2012 [quote name='The Seal of Eon' timestamp='1352044785' post='6060943'] I think we're safe from the spoilers now, and what a chapter. I love long duels like this, and the tension was thick right here in Chez Eon. If this fic had pages I would surely be turning them quickly. I must admit, for all that it is overused in Yugioh, I liked it when [s]Bommer[/s] Famine was possessed by [s]Chacu Challhua[/s] Death. It was expected as soon as he started to repent, but it's a good mile better than cutting off the duel, which as you probably know irritates me somewhat. The whole rest of the duel was very well done as well, and it takes me back to Armageddon again, with the Soul of Fire/Misfortune 1-card defeat. I'm liking Number 75, and it shows you can make up good cards when you need to. Number C39 was sort of expected, but I thought it was the appropriate time for it. At least it's not shoehorned into the last duel, just to make it work. PS: I would rather you didn't keep destroying the Genex, Murtagh. I for one quite like them. Go destroy some Madolce instead, fix yourself a nice slice of cake maybe? PPS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PPPS: Someone had to die. Glad you've knuckled down to it now, and are ready to deal killing blows to the good guys. [/quote] Thank you for commenting and glad you enjoyed. You know what I actually hadn't connected Hikari and Natsumi's defeats until you mention them, but yeah they are similiar. Except Hikari's was more out of nowhere after she'd just defeated Erin, whereas Nat's had a few moments warning. Yep, as normal good guys and heroes aren't immune. Who will be next...? [quote name='Simdoggy' timestamp='1352047126' post='6060966'] It's not exactly unexpected that he would kill off some good guys anyway, we've seen it happen before in both this story and in Armageddon, but it is sad usually when it does happen. [/quote] MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! [quote name='Umbra' timestamp='1352057504' post='6061118'] [b][i][spoiler=DEUS EX MACHINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA][/i][/b] Sorry, but that had to be done. C39 literally appearing as a god out of nowhere has to be called out on. While it's kind of a staple when it comes to YGO (hell, back in 5D's it was even a narrative device with Savior Dragon) it's still bad writing. I should let you know that I "caught up" by reading the character bios after Arc 3 and then blazed through Arc 4 as quickly as I could. As a result, some storylines feel a bit underplayed (the politician's storyline most of all) and not really relevant to everything else. I've got some complaints about the main storyline, too. Maybe there was a lot of foreshadowing to this in Arc 3, but to me, the whole plot about the Four Horsemen and Death seems really, really contrived. It's like the characters were catching up to Murtagh before they were supposed to, so you had to invent some new villains to keep the story going. Also, with the whole monster-invasion plot combined with a mysterious super-villain that wants to bring two worlds together and kill everyone to form some sort of perfect society, everything starts to feel like an Armageddon rehash. You've done that story before. You don't need to do it again. While the story might be lacking in places, the characters is where you really shine. The main cast are very well developed, and the interactions between them are marvelous. While they do have a fair bit of plot armor, I suppose that's fine. YGO stories tend to be an all-or-nothing situation when it comes to character failures (i.e. victory or death) but you've hit some sort of balance there. Your characters are a bit roughened up, but it gets annoying to see them walk away from what should have been certain death for the eighth time. Overall, I have to say that I like it. There were a few "What?" moments as I read through, but nothing too detrimental to the story. The writing's well above par, as I'm sure you know, and I'm looking forward to see how it ends. [/spoiler] [/quote] Hello Sifu Umbra, glad you... ahem... caught up Glad for your comments. Yes, Hope Ray is exactly what you say. It's... yeah, there's no getting around that. (Hastily rewrites next three duels). After everything I find it hard to ever consider things like Hope Ray/Saviour Star Dragon/etc regular cards that just appear by regularly means in regular duels. As for the gov storyline I kinda see where you're coming from, but the first two arcs it was pretty bland stuff going nowhere and mentioned for the sake of the perspective since they couldn't not be involved in a national crisis situation. It's been better since Tarao and Junichi got involved, and has been a nice distraction for me from just duel, duel, duel, duel! all the time. The story's been planned for a year (although the order wasn't set in stone) and the horsemen were always going to be involved. They just have been underexposed compared to the very exposed Murtagh/Asami/Evos/Clarissa/Wilhelm. From this end defeating Murtagh halfway into this arc felt shoehorned (the only three chapter duel in the entire fic has been and gone, spoiler). So... yeah... I guess. The monsters thing just felt natural, and the horsemen are... well hopefully Pestilence will be a bit more interesting... I know I'm arguing because I disagree with one or two points, but I agree with most of your points and am glad for the critique and than you for making the effort to read it all. Anything really bad "What?" wise as in that's unbelievably ridiculous thing to happen? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted November 4, 2012 Report Share Posted November 4, 2012 Disagreeing is fine. You can't have improvement without discussion, and you can always have improvement. If you don't want to write duel-duel-duel all the time, then why not just integrate that into the main story rather than give it its own partition? Have your main cast interact with your villains in some way other than dueling. Also, don't be afraid to kill more characters. Maybe I've just consumed too much A Song of Ice and Fire lately, but killing a significant main character could take the story in so many interest directions, it's unfathomable. So few writers have the balls to do it. The lack of exposure for the Horsemen made them seem like a [url="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GiantSpaceFleaFromNowhere"]Giant Space Flea From Nowhere[/url], which is not a good character design. No sir. As for Murtagh as a whole, going through Act 4 while keeping what I'd read earlier in mind, I'm not sure what you were trying to do with him. I'm not sure how the numbers grid came to be, and why exactly it can be used to combine the two worlds together, but if he designed that, only to rely on Kaneko to make up the Numbers for him, it seems awfully convoluted and very, very unlikely. Without a solid, believable plan, it seems like he's evil just for the sake of being evil, but he's not too good at it. He's a Villain Light; zero taste, zero enjoyment. The "What" moment that I remember the clearest is when Clarissa duels that doctor, Evos. She's about to wreck some serious s*** (she might even have been able to finish him then and there) but then he takes off his coat to show off his massive steroids, and then he just *starts his turn* like nothing happened. Maybe I missed some crucial detail, but that just flabbergasted me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted November 5, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2012 Don't ya just love YCM down time? I don't do anything when the site is down. I just stop. Genuinely thought it wasn't coming back this time. [quote name='Umbra' timestamp='1352061570' post='6061186'] Disagreeing is fine. You can't have improvement without discussion, and you can always have improvement. If you don't want to write duel-duel-duel all the time, then why not just integrate that into the main story rather than give it its own partition? Have your main cast interact with your villains in some way other than dueling. Also, don't be afraid to kill more characters. Maybe I've just consumed too much A Song of Ice and Fire lately, but killing a significant main character could take the story in so many interest directions, it's unfathomable. So few writers have the balls to do it. The lack of exposure for the Horsemen made them seem like a [url="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GiantSpaceFleaFromNowhere"]Giant Space Flea From Nowhere[/url], which is not a good character design. No sir. As for Murtagh as a whole, going through Act 4 while keeping what I'd read earlier in mind, I'm not sure what you were trying to do with him. I'm not sure how the numbers grid came to be, and why exactly it can be used to combine the two worlds together, but if he designed that, only to rely on Kaneko to make up the Numbers for him, it seems awfully convoluted and very, very unlikely. Without a solid, believable plan, it seems like he's evil just for the sake of being evil, but he's not too good at it. He's a Villain Light; zero taste, zero enjoyment. The "What" moment that I remember the clearest is when Clarissa duels that doctor, Evos. She's about to wreck some serious s*** (she might even have been able to finish him then and there) but then he takes off his coat to show off his massive steroids, and then he just *starts his turn* like nothing happened. Maybe I missed some crucial detail, but that just flabbergasted me. [/quote] When have I been afraid to kill main characters? Horsemen: Vladimir debuted in Arc 1, Chapter 10, and duelled again halfway through the second. Unami technically debuted in Chapter 1, first duelled and was killed in the Arc 1 finale, was shown to be bought back to 'life' and twisted in Arc 2 (just after your last comment). They also duelled together in Arc 3. So we've known about them for quite a bit. Pestilence and Death we don't know the identities of (several viable guesses have been made), but Death has been seen occasionally. It's definately bad writing for them to be under-exposed, but it's also, from a baddie perspective... a bit silly of them to expose themselves and their evil plan to a band of heroes if they didn't need to. The Number Grid is simply what the 100 Numbers are placed on as poart of the Number Converter, which is a machine Murtagh built to use their already existing and stealable power and Kaneko's to merge the VDS and real worlds, over which he'd rule both. Thus getting revenge on Real Duel and personal enemies like Orion, achieving his destiny as the world's most powerful being, etc. His actions in chapters 41-42 were a bit... dumb though. Regarding Clarissa, she was just relying on disabling Lagia and provoking Evos into a Mirror Force. Her turn had ended, she just didn't categorically say so. Providing the site doesn't have another heart attack, new chapter tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted November 5, 2012 Report Share Posted November 5, 2012 Character*s*. The only main character death that wasn't a villain death I can recall from Armageddon was Tyrana, and that was probably one of the strongest moments of the series, if not the strongest. As for 24, I cannot recall any significant ones. (Wilhelm might count, but since I glossed over that part, I'm not sure how significant a character he was in the long run.) Unmai is close, but since you sort of villainified him over the course of the story, that doesn't really count. The annoying re-occurence, as I said earlier, is when a character takes what should be lethal damage and then just scrapes it off like it was nothing. [spoiler="random oh s*** moment"] Was Wilhelm a previous avatar of the VDS? (/spoiler) Horsemen: My point should've come to you as you wrote out their appearances. Introduction in Arc 1, which is more than forty chapters ago. Scattered appearances over the next thirty chapters until their re-introduction, with - as far as I can tell - little to no explanation of their coherence. If you're going to drop a major reveal like that, at least draw some connections between them and the "real" earlier villains. Going back to the start, you had Clarissa painted as a villain from the beginning, then turned the tables to Murtagh. As far as I can tell, none of them had any explicit connections to the Horsemen prior to the story, and since the Horsemen seem to be recruited by conversion, it becomes increasingly unlikely that one would exist. Without some sort of connection, they become extradimensional chessmasters whose plots rely on plots of people they have no relation to. They didn't have to expose themselves to the heroes, but they could expose themselves to the audience. This is called [i]dramatic irony[/i], and can be used rather successfully in terms of relaying the plot. I guess my point is this: how did Murtagh know that Kaneko's power would manifest as the Numbers? Is that a known side-effect of being the avatar of the VDS, or did he just make a wild guess? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted November 5, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2012 [quote name='Umbra' timestamp='1352144591' post='6061368'] Character*s*. The only main character death that wasn't a villain death I can recall from Armageddon was Tyrana, and that was probably one of the strongest moments of the series, if not the strongest. As for 24, I cannot recall any significant ones. (Wilhelm might count, but since I glossed over that part, I'm not sure how significant a character he was in the long run.) Unmai is close, but since you sort of villainified him over the course of the story, that doesn't really count. The annoying re-occurence, as I said earlier, is when a character takes what should be lethal damage and then just scrapes it off like it was nothing. [spoiler="random oh s*** moment"] Was Wilhelm a previous avatar of the VDS? [/spoiler] Horsemen: My point should've come to you as you wrote out their appearances. Introduction in Arc 1, which is more than forty chapters ago. Scattered appearances over the next thirty chapters until their re-introduction, with - as far as I can tell - little to no explanation of their coherence. If you're going to drop a major reveal like that, at least draw some connections between them and the "real" earlier villains. Going back to the start, you had Clarissa painted as a villain from the beginning, then turned the tables to Murtagh. As far as I can tell, none of them had any explicit connections to the Horsemen prior to the story, and since the Horsemen seem to be recruited by conversion [b]after death[/b], it becomes increasingly unlikely that one would exist. Without some sort of connection, they become extradimensional chessmasters whose plots rely on plots of people they have no relation to. They didn't have to expose themselves to the heroes, but they could expose themselves to the audience. This is called [i]dramatic irony[/i], and can be used rather successfully in terms of relaying the plot. I guess my point is this: how did Murtagh know that Kaneko's power would manifest as the Numbers? Is that a known side-effect of being the avatar of the VDS, or did he just make a wild guess? [/quote] I am throughly enjoying this and cursing that I have to go to work in half an hour. Erin counts as a main character who wasn't a villian surely? And Vardus at the start was pretty significant too. Dravir ended as a good guy but obviously he can't be counted. Anyway, the stories still got four chapters left so let's not rule anything out yet. It's more fun/dramatic/unbelievable yes/so on to have them hit and in pain than they just miraculously "jump out the way" to avoid everything. No. I've never heard of dramatic irnoy so will have to yield to your superior knowledge of writing on that one. When Murtagh returned to Japan after escaping a prison in China (cuz villians can do that) I think was three/four years prior to the day of this story, he discovers there is a new avatar (ie his replacement) and decides to use her. Whether the Numbers had been created by this time is unknown, probably unlikely as Kaneko is two at this point albeit possibly a highly developed two year old and certainly imaginative, but at some point he'd learn about them. Simply because I guess that if I was going to go for world domination, I'd do my research, and being a former avatar having saved a few of his abilities, he has a broad knowledge that makes him almost part of the world to do that with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted November 5, 2012 Report Share Posted November 5, 2012 Erin was the one that eventually turned on the group, no? I'll give you Vardus though, even if he was very close to being supporting cast. Look up dramatic irony, it can be a really useful tool some times. Basically, you're keeping knowledge from the characters while your readers stay informed. This lets you show off all the relevant characters, including the villains, without the protagonists learning about them. Your characters don't have to die, but they could, you know, actually take some damage. Like, I would be expecting second-degree burns on most of your characters by now. How would Murtagh know that the Numbers A) actually existed as cards 2) could be used in a grid to generate more power •) could be summoned to Kaneko whenever she wanted to IV) could be used to summon the VDS into the real world Because all of those factors seem fairly integral to his plan, and none of them would appear to be public knowledge. Sure, he was the previous avatar, but as you say, he didn't have the Numbers, so he doesn't know anything about them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted November 6, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 [quote name='Umbra' timestamp='1352149021' post='6061468'] Quote reduced for sake of space, full quote in above post [/quote] First off... *twitches*... you don't like Erin.... *draws mace*... Vardus was a main until he was killed. I'd consider him main in the same sense as Brom in Eragon and Roger in Northern Lights in that they were central up until an early death. I will look it up, although it does sound like what I was doing with Clarissa for the first two arcs and to an extent Murtagh in 3. Maybe not. They have taken damage, I just mention it on infliction and try not to remention the same injury over and over (other than in an overall sense. "Yeah we get it, Dai's shoulder is bust and he's bleeding from the gut"; an injury which is referred to again below). The thing I forgot to mention that is also keeping them from fatal damage, and you probably won't like me saying this, is 'cuz Numbers'. He didn't know absolutely know everything; it's just his working out. There is a wonderful bit after Wilhelm's kidnap where he acknowledges it could all go horribly wrong and kill everybody, but it was a risk he was prepared to take. The creation of the world as it is can be put more down to the machine, the Numbers were more of an immense power source. I think that answered everything. Second off: This has now hit over 25 pages in comments. Hooray! I just checked, Armageddon only got to 26 pages, and that had a total of 75 chapters all in and was just winding down to complete completion now. So... why am I moaning about comments again? (FEED, ME, MORE!) Third off: It's Tuesday. And YCM appears to still be alive. So let's get this story finished while we can before it dies, and reveal the full extent of the extensive planning for this story, the diversity of the story, and the sheer twistedness of my nature, as the family of the story gets even more exposure than it has already. Please enjoy what is, and I don't mean to put words in people's mouths here but, personally my favourite chapter of the story. [spoiler=Chapter 23:1][b]The following takes place between 7AM and 8AM[/b] Unaware of the events transpiring back in their world or involving their allies, Clarissa and Sakura continued to make their way through the maze. Running down another long corridor ascending steadily into the castles upper battlements, for the first time they could see light at the end of the tunnel as they ran towards the exit. Running through the end gateway, a flash of bright light engulfed them... Blinking her vision clear, Sakura looked around at her new surroundings. The gateway had disappeared behind them, leaving them in a world that was completely... blank. The white sky and the land merged seamlessly without horizon, as if she was in some kind of space, and the world was entirely empty of any objects as far as the eye could see. Clarissa was standing beside her, looking wildly around expecting an attack of some kind. For a few moments the world composed entirely of their existence, until Clarissa grimaced in what was hardly a direction in this empty space, towards a third being entering it. Approaching from afar having been camouflaged against the empty background, the white horseman walked slowly towards them, methodically placing each step that echoed in the silence as he advanced most unrushed, sword drawn as he did and the faintest suggestion of a smile underneath the low hood. Neither Clarissa nor Sakura moved or spoke as he got closer; the older woman arming her D-Disk and preparing to defend them whilst the younger tried to control her breathing and marshal the fear gripping her. The horseman stopped about a dozen feet away from them, placed a gloved hand under the hood, and pulled it back, at last revealing his identity. Clarissa blinked several times in surprise as she looked into the young man’s face, and beside her, Sakura gasped, as her heart stopped. “No” she said weakly, unable to believe what she was seeing. “It can’t be you...” “It’s good to see you again, Sakura” Yudai smiled. The hood removed, the horseman’s features were much the same as her boyfriends; a relatively handsome young boy whose athletic build, as he pulled back the cloak to reveal the familiar white armour underneath, was somewhat ill flattered by the garb. His mane of wild hair was the same style wise, although it was no longer blonde but snow white like his dress. It looked like him, but it couldn’t be, standing there before them as Sakura stared disbelievingly at him, him smiling at her just as Yudai always did. Except what would normally be a charming smile, the pupil-less white eyes made it difficult to harbour any warmth within it. Sakura barely responded, she was so confused and upset. “Sakura, it’s me” Yudai insisted. “I thought I’d never see you again, but now you’re here. I’m relieved you’re alright. With everything that’s happened since I was last with you, it’s amazing that you survived. I guess some would call it... fate.” Sakura tried to speak, but her voice failed, she could only shake her head at him. “I know. It must be a bit much to see me like this after what happened. Here, I think I know a way I can prove it’s me though.” Yudai sheathed the sword and opened his arms, inviting her to go and hug him. “Come to me.” Yudai? It couldn’t be, could it? But he looked so like him. She so wanted to see him again, she had tried so hard to find a way to help him after he protected her, but here as... Entranced by the impossible sight of him, Sakura took a step forward. She did it without thinking, almost hypnotised, as she took a second. Quickly followed by a third. After hours of torture and guilt, there he was standing there smiling at her, he was okay after all and here with her. Suddenly urging to dive into his arms she broke out into a run. She was stopped abruptly as Clarissa grabbed her from behind. She kicked and screamed at her, but she held firm and dragged her away. “What the hell are you thinking?! He’s a horseman!” “Let me go... Yudai can’t be a horseman! He wouldn’t!” “Open your eyes and look at him damn it!” Clarissa swore as a thrashing elbow caught her in the ribs. The Yudai continued to stand there patiently, although the smile had become a most distasteful grimace as he locked his blank eyes on her. “You; drop the act and start talking. What are you?” “You are the woman responsible for the attack on Real Duel, are you not?” Yudai asked. She didn’t deny it. “Interesting, this definitely must be fate for our three paths to come full circle like this. However I advise you to not part me and Sakura again. I only came here to see her. Don’t get in my way.” “Yudai? You are Yudai aren’t you?” Sakura asked. Her fighting against Clarissa’s grip lessened as she noticed his change in mood. “No, Yudai wouldn’t threaten people like that. But if you really are... how did you get here? You were unconscious for so long, I don’t understand. Why are you a horseman?” “You... don’t believe it’s me?” Yudai swallowed. The idea seemed to genuinely upset him, as he struggled to find words to convince her. In the end, it would have to be the truth; although telling her was risky she might not believe him otherwise. “Sakura, I didn’t wake up from the coma. I died.” Sakura stopped fighting. Her breathing stopped. Her mind froze and emptied. Tears welling up in her eyes and she numbly slumped against Clarissa, her world shattered into pieces. “No...” “It’s true” Yudai shrugged. His voice was completely empty, as if being dead didn’t really faze him. “I don’t remember everything that happened after I was beaten in that duel, but I think I heard some of what was going on. I could hear doctors, and you trying to help me, calling me to wake up. I kept trying, but it was no use, I couldn’t do it. Then suddenly, you said goodbye... and left me. Suddenly I was all alone. I didn’t know what to do, and I losing strength to fight. The last thing I remember was doctor’s scrambling around me trying to restart my heart, then just... darkness.” Yudai’s voice trailed off as he stared aimlessly into the distance. Sakura was breaking down in her arms, Clarissa herself was stunned by what he had said. Although something about it, something she couldn’t explain, seemed a little off compared to the other horsemen. Sensing what she was about to ask, Yudai explained for her. “When I woke up, I was in a world of nothingness. Only dark clouds surrounded me, and a voice spoke to me. He told me that we were in a part of the VDS world. Though my mind and body had died in our world, a part of my spirit was so deeply enrooted in the VDS, my feelings so strong when I collapsed defending Sakura, that they remained, and he was able to rebuild me from them in exchange for my services. Now here I am. I have been given the chance to see my lovely Sakura again, hold her for a few more hours, in exchange for my soul. It was an easy decision to make.” Sakura sobbed and shook her head as Yudai slowly redrew the sword. “Now then Sakura, come to me. I promise this won’t hurt.” “... what?” she choked. She was now completely lost. “I don’t understand.” “What’s there to understand my darling?” Yudai smiled; his voice dropping to below cold despite his rapid excited breathing. “I have my orders, but I have my own needs to. And the only thing in this world I need... before it perishes... is you. To reunite us again, so we can spend our last moments together again before all is swept away into darkness. Now this is the last time I’m going to ask you. Come. Here.” “Sakura, get behind me.” Clarissa shoved her round as she failed to respond. As she stepped in front of her, Sakura noticed despite herself that her voice had taken on a tone she didn’t believe possible, that Clarissa herself didn’t look accustomed to experiencing. Panic. “I’m sorry, because what happened to him is partly my fault, and because now I’m going to have to fight him. You understand I have to, right?” What remained of Sakura’s mind twisted completely as she realised what she meant. The idea Yudai was a horseman, that he was in party with those causing the world to wither and die, despite everything in front of her, did not compute rationally. It was Yudai, the boy who had endlessly pursued her heart until he finally won it. The boy who for the last two years always made her feel safe and loved. That he was now threatening them with a sword and glaring at them with those dead eyes was not the point. He was still Yudai. “No Clarissa, please. There has to be a way to save him.” “Sakura, he said it himself, he’s dead!” Sakura froze as Clarissa snapped at her. “I know it’s harsh, I know he was your boyfriend, but he’s gone! And unless we fight he’s going to kill us both!” “You are going to insist in getting in my way and turning my beloved against me?” Yudai snapped. As his words took on a nasty edge, the space began to change. The white background vanished, as a swirling maelstrom of dark colours chaotically whirled around them. Yudai grinned as the madness of his mind became reflected in his arena. “Fine, then I will simply kill two birds at once. Clarissa, your struggle ends here. And Sakura, my dear Sakura, we will be together again even in death. Until the end of the world.” Throwing the sword spinning through the air, the blade plunged into a slot in his gauntlet, transforming it into a curved D-Disk. As it did, Sakura choked as her golden disk was forced to activate. The maelstrom acting as an ARV dome, each participant’s status display appeared above them. They showed Yudai’s life points were starting at eight thousand, although he drew the same amount of cards as Clarissa as they took their opening hands. Sakura couldn’t bring herself to take hers, but there was no choice for her. “Sakura, don’t cry, I’m here now. Soon you won’t feel any more pain as I, Pestilence, relieve you...” “Duel!” “Sakura, fight, you have to” Clarissa demanded. She didn’t look at her, or her deck, but in the end she did gloomily take the cards offered to her before going back to just hanging her head. Well this was just great. Sakura was only a barely competent duelist when she was trying, she couldn’t just carry her entirely against someone of this calibre, having recalled that Yudai was the reigning champion of the eastern Asian block even before his becoming a horseman. Even more especially when she looked at her opening hand, and nearly baulked at the sight of how bad it was. None of her Inverz, making the support card for them dead. Illusion Snatch, also dead on its own. Magic Box, difficult to work with anyway. She was surprised when the randomizer flashed green to give her the first turn, having expected the handicapped Yudai to take it. “So, I guess you really are Yudai rather than some imposter. I’ve heard so much about you. So you acknowledge yourself as a disease? Well then let me set you straight. Draw.” Mercifully her opening draw provided a little better, although not brilliantly. “I summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Steelswarm_Sting"]Inverz Sharp[/url]." The black wasp buzzed past her, comparatively strong for its level (Lv4, ATK 1850). She’d need to do better than that though. Looking at the rest of her hand, she noticed another card that in this situation might actually help. “I set two cards and end my turn.” “I will go next” Yudai declared, snatching his card. “Now is probably the time I should mention that since this is a two on one, I will be taking a turn between each of you as well as starting with life points equal to your combined total. As for now, I set a monster.” A reversed card materialised against the haze of black and red swirling across the ground. “With that, I’ll end my turn.” Clarissa was surprised again, having expected a much faster start. However Yudai wasn’t giving anything away, ignoring her suspicious glare to turn on Sakura. She had ignored them and was focused entirely on the ground, unable to look up at Yudai or her partner. “I’m sorry Sakura. We have to fight him.” “I... I can’t...” “You have to!” She was struggling to keep her temper in check as Sakura ignored her. “He’s not the boy you once knew. He’s been taken over as a horseman.” Sakura didn’t respond. Frustrated, she changed tack. “Look, do you want your boyfriend to be like this? Don’t you want to free him from what it is that’s making him do this? Or are you going to let it consume him completely. We have to defend ourselves!” She wished she’d stop saying those things. She wished this wasn’t happening. She wished she had never got out of bed yesterday, never entered the VDS with Yudai when all this started. Wishing wasn’t going to do anything, but then neither was she. She couldn’t fight, she wasn’t strong enough a duelist to and she couldn’t kill Yudai. He couldn’t really be dead; he was standing there, staring hungrily at her, there had to be another way. He’d protected her, sacrificed himself to do so, and she had tried to help him. But she’d failed, she’d let him down. She couldn’t attack him after all that, no matter what he was now. “Come on Sakura. Our time is limited, and I want to make the most of what we have left.” Glumly she looked at her cards. Her hand was actually very good; full of the Sacred Yudai had given her. Looking at them made her think about her actions of the day. She knew she was no duelist, but she had still kept going despite that, forcing herself to walk a virtual path in the hope she could help him. She had met the others, and tried to help them stop Murtagh, but she couldn’t claim to have helped that much. She wanted to, but like Jin and Clarissa said she had mostly gotten in the way and just been a negative influence. But still she had followed them here in the hope she could help, and found Yudai after all. As a monster; a monster of her creation. Maybe this was fate as Yudai said; coming full circle, as she began to cry. “I can’t fight Clarissa. Because it’s my fault he’s like this. If I hadn’t been so useless, if Yudai hadn’t had to sacrifice himself for me, none of this would have happened. And because I was so stupid... I wasn’t even... I wasn’t with him when he... when he...” “You’re wrong Sakura.” Clarissa did not sound as harsh this time. “It would have happened, and it would have happened to somebody else. Somebody else would have had to go through what you have, and... I don’t think anyone else would have had the determination and love to do what you’ve done.” Sakura choked on her tears as she looked at Clarissa. She wasn’t angry, she was just calm. “I know what pain you feel. You saw that, when I wasn’t there for Wilhelm. I know there is nothing I could have done, but still I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself. But Sakura, you’ve fought for him. No one else would have fought like you have. But you are responsible for him now. You can either give up now after everything, or you do your love one last act of kindness, and put him out of his pain. It’s your choice.” Clarissa left her decision to her with a neutral look, but her words still left her shocked. For Clarissa to say that to her after everything was such a transformation, one almost as drastic as that Yudai had gone through. Looking at him, at those dead white eyes, she understood. [i]‘She’s right. I have to help him.’[/i] “A-a-alright then, I draw” she stammered through her tears and drew at last, increasing her collection of powerful cards. “First I summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Constellar_Pollux"]Sacred Pollux[/url]. During the turn he is summoned I can normal summon one extra time. So by releasing him, I can advance summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Constellar_Virgo"]Sacred Spica[/url].” The shimmering swordsman was replaced by an elegant sorceress clad in white and gold armour (Lv5, ATK 2300). As she descended, another warrior armed with bladed gauntlets appeared in a flash of stars beside her (Lv5, ATK 2100). “When Spica is summoned, I can summon the level five [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Constellar_Zubeneschamali"]Sacred Eska[/url] from my hand, then activate his effect to search out another Sacred.” She revealed her selected monster as Kaust. “Next I play [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Constellar_Star_Chart"]Star Sign of the Sacred[/url]. When I Xyz summon a Sacred monster, I can draw one card, which I’ll be doing right now. Become the light that sheds Yudai of his darkness, [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Constellar_Pleiades"]Sacred Pleiades[/url]!” “Hey, you’ve gotten a lot better” Yudai grinned as a magnificent shining warrior descended, carrying a crescent shaped axe (Rk5, ATK 2500). “So now you plan to use his effect to bounce my face down and strike me directly, whilst maintaining a large hand. A solid plan. [i]But can you go through with it[/i]?” “I... I have to Yudai” she stuttered, taking her next card. “I wanted to save you, but I never imagined it would be from something like this. But I have to release you from whatever is controlling you.” “But if you do, and you defeat me, then I’ll perish” Yudai repeated coolly. “All that holds me together now is a combination of Deaths power and my will to be with you, both which will be lost in defeat. My spirit will disappear forever. Do you want that? Can you send me into the abyss?” Sakura wilted under his gaze. When he put it that way, there was only one answer. “I... I end my turn.” “Good girl Sakura” Yudai smiled as she faltered without action, drawing his card. Looking at the monster he had drawn, the smile turned sickly. “Now then, let me show you the power of this disease that is controlling me, and let it embrace you. Summon, [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Evilswarm_Castor"]Verz Castor[/url]!” Both Clarissa and Sakura blinked as the monster rose. A swordsman that almost mirrored Pollux before it, except clad in soulless black armour and silver instead of white (Lv4, ATK 1750). Clarissa was spooked by it, she’d never seen or heard of anything like it, and Sakura was stunned. “What the... Verz? Yudai?” “What, you were expecting me to still be using the pathetic Vairon?” Yudai laughed, an awful chilling laugh. “Isn’t it ironic? You use the Sacred, successors to the Vairon as protectors of the world. She uses the Inverz, who they protect it from. And I go from Vairon to the Verz; the true pure strain of the disease that conquers all. As you can see my Castor is like your Pollux, because it is a Sacred that’s been infected with the Verz virus, and as you’ve noticed is now stronger for it. Now I will unleash their power on you, and reunite us. I reveal my face down monster as [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Evilswarm-o-Wisp"]Verz Wisp[/url], and overlay my two level four monsters! Xyz summon!” The face down monster revealed a flame spirit (Lv4, ATK 450), before the two monsters disappeared into the vortex behind the maniacal Yudai. As they vanished Yudai’s cloak and armour began to change colour, from pure white to tainted black, as a pair of red eyes opened through the void behind him, and giant snake like creature began to emerge. “By corrupting the soul, achieve ultimate power. Show your true form to them ice dragon, and become [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Evilswarm_Bahamut"]Verz Bahamut[/url]!” Stretching its wings as it pulled free, the infected Brionac craned back and unleashed a horrific screech. ...07:06:22... “Mai? Mai?” A few refugees looked up at the prime minister, but none answered the call. Desperate Hideo moved on with the search. He had been trying to find Mai ever since she had fled from Baron after discovering the use of their daughter, to give her some comfort. Maybe. He’d searched the building from top to bottom, but no-one had seen her. Worry was starting to settle in after this amount of time, he had to find her. Making for the backstairs nearby, he would have to start over from the bottom. So wrapped up in his concern for Mai he didn’t see the person barrelling down the stairs until they ran into the back off him. “Oof... oh, er, Prime Minister, thank goodness I found you.” Stunned by the collision, Hideo turned to see the person who’d run into him was Junichi. The young man looked noticeably affected by something terrible. “What is it Ageda-sama?” “Prime Minister, I just passed Miss Nakashima-sama in the most tearful, desperate state” Junichi blurted in panic. “She was making her way up the building and was crying to herself in her despair. I... I think she said she was heading towards the roof.” Cold claws gripped around his heart and throat as he saw the fear in Junichi’s wild eyes. “I fear she might do something...” “She... Junichi, why didn’t you stop her!?” Hideo shouted, shaking Junichi. The young man failed to respond except for stammer and look down. “Aah Mai. Where can I get up to the roof?” Junichi had only numbly pointed up the stairs when Hideo flew past him, taking three at a time and flying up the floors, leaving a shaking Junichi far below to consider what he’d done and become. In seconds Hideo had ascended the four floors and got onto the hotels garden balcony roof, a once relaxing area for guests to sit that had now become viewing podium to the end of the world. Ignoring the shadows of monsters in the distant sky and the giant swirl overhead he searched the garden, not wanting to bring himself to the possibility of looking over the side. “Mai? Mai please don’t. Wait.” The roof was empty. Hurriedly he picked his way to the far end, ignoring the cut to his leg as it caught on some debris, to a secluded part for yoga and meditation classes that lay behind a wall of tall shrubbery. Bursting through the arch in the hedge, Hideo looked around, and gulped when he saw a figure leaning against the far rail to his right. Someone who wasn’t Mai. “Good morning... prime minister.” The malice in Ageda Tarao’s voice was tangible, and emphasised by the shotgun he was loading. Clicking the barrels into place, he raised the gun to the Hideo’s chest. “Well, I guess now the concept of morning is pretty redundant given the destruction you have allowed.” “Tarao. This is...?” A horrible prospect came to him as he backed towards the rail. “Where’s Mai?” “Don’t worry, I haven’t hurt her” Tarao replied. “I just followed her to a bedroom she decided to have a good cry in and locked it behind her; to make sure she was missing for long enough to set this up for you. Although I can’t promise anything if she was to start snooping around after your death like she did my son’s business. Such a faithful woman, but blindly misplaced in you.” The little man followed Hideo with his aim as he backed around, veins twitching in his temple and eyes positively bulging. “Take a look around at the madness you’ve allowed to happen, which will claim you for your sins. Even if Baron’s group somehow recover the situation at this late hour, this country of mine may never recover from it. But if the rest of us do survive somehow, hopefully I will be able to rebuild us from the ashes somewhat, and erase the stain of your existence from the pages of our history.” “You still think about all that now?” Hideo demanded. He was relieved Mai was not up here being used and threatened, but now fear for his own safety was replacing that. “I’m not proud of my actions of this day, but there is no sense in doing such a thing as this and lowering yourself to killing me now, not as some sort of judge on me. My fate is for our gods to decide, and yours too...” “Silence!” Tarao snapped. “You believe in gods at a time like this, when it seems like they abandon us to destruction? I see no judgement in this chaos, other than my own. If we do see another day; that you’ll have been killed by one of these monsters in the chaos will go largely unnoticed and wholly uncared for as I resurrect Japan with my judgement. You might have escaped it before, but not this time.” Something about that remark struck an odd chord. Slowly the understanding came to Hideo, and with it came a swell of anger that overwhelmed his fear. “The attacks on us, you were responsible for them weren’t you? That Kenji died; because you wanted to use this chaos as an opportunity to kill me?” Tarao nodded to confirm this, in doing so his anger burst forth. “You poisonous little worm. I can’t believe anyone would be capable of such actions, not even you. You will not get away with this!” “And how do you suppose you’re going to stop me?” Tarao sneered. Of course Hideo had no answer as he backed against the rail. It was a long way down behind him. “Well, for the good of the nation, for your sins, and for my first act as the new prime minister of Japan. Goodbye Nakashima.” Unable to do anything at all, Hideo closed his eyes and waited for death to come for him as Tarao steadied himself. The next sound he heard was not gunfire. Instead it was a glistening, watery sort of sound. Well of course, he knew the old adage of ‘never hearing the bullet that kills you’. The sound must be that of the beyond, the background his soul would pass into the abyss to. He hadn’t expected death to be as instant as this though, or as painless. He also didn’t expect the next sound he heard to be that of Tarao’s voice, suddenly croaky and disbelieving. “What the... What is this?” Hideo opened his eyes. Tarao had lowered the shotgun, his gaze so transfixed by something behind him. Unable to stop himself, he looked as well. There, rising up through the air to stand behind him, was a duel monster unlike any that he had seen invading this world. A giant lizard man [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Gagagigo_the_Risen"]creature[/url], covered in glistening silver armour, rising up behind him and staring down at Tarao disdainfully. It was wondrous. “No... no... what are you doing?” Tarao shouted at the creature. The lizard man looked silently down on him, but a roar behind him answered. Tarao spun and paled as a great [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Poseidra%2C_the_Atlantean_Dragon"]blue dragon[/url] rose from the other side of the building, hovering for just a second before it craned its long neck down towards him. Stunned Hideo watched Tarao scream at the top of his lungs until the moment the dragon’s jaws shut on him, shotgun and all, before it swallowed and released a deafening screech to the heavens in reply. He didn’t know what was going on, and for the moment he didn’t want to know. As his legs started working again Hideo beat a retreat as quickly as he could. As he reached the stairwell though, he looked back on the two monsters, as they disappeared into the dark sky, before he went in to find Mai. ... Clarissa stared up at the corrupted form of Brionac, the once majestic ice dragon taken over by this disease similar to her Inverz that had tainted its soul. The black dragon glared back at her with its beady red eyes (Rk4, ATK 2350). “Sakura, use Pleiades.” Sakura didn’t move. She was paralyzed by the dragon’s manifestation, and Yudai standing beneath it grinning maliciously at them. “I activate Verz Bahamut’s effect. By detaching one overlay unit, and discarding one Verz monster from my hand, I can seize control of one monster on the field. Go Bahamut; show that Sacred what true power feels like. Invasion Devastation!” “SAKURA, USE PLEIADES!” Her shouting fell on deaf ears as the dragon bathed Pleiades in dark sapphire breath. As it did, the warrior began to deform and darken in colour as it became infected with the virus, leaving them only able to watch as it was dragged onto Yudai’s field. Leaving Sakura wide open. “It is time Sakura” Yudai smiled. “Join my side as the world destroys itself with its own sin. Close your eyes, and let Death take you as it has me. Monsters, attack her directly!” Both infected monsters released a torrent of the dark crimson stream of energy towards her. Sakura screamed as it came. “From my hand, [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Battle_Fader"]Battle Fader[/url] activates!” Yudai blinked as the two energy streams slammed into an invisible barrier and dissipated, leaving only the small pendulum demon floating above the woman glaring at him. The last ditch defence has knocked the breath out of Clarissa, but not physically harmed. The two locked in hateful glares for a moment as Sakura uncurled herself. “Are you alright Sakura?” Sakura was too stunned to reply. She was amazed to still be alive... but because Clarissa had just saved her? She seemed to understand though as she stepped back, although Yudai was furious. “You are such a meddlesome woman! How dare you interfere! Well Sakura, it seems like your guardian angel has protected you for now, but I promise you this charmed life won’t last. I set one card. Then I activate the permanent magic [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Shard_of_Greed"]Fragment of Greed[/url]. By sending it to the cemetery later, I’ll be able to draw cards depending on how long it’s been on the field. With that I end my turn.” “Back to me then” Clarissa snapped. Well now that it was confirmed Sakura was going to be useless, and now she knew what she was facing, albeit an unknown deck to her, she felt more settled. However her draw quickly undid that. [i]‘Oh for goodness sake, are you lot all on this guy’s side too?[/i]’ she swore as she drew the weakest Inverz. Now she was struggling desperately for options, although had one chance left. “I activate the trap card [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Hope_For_Escape"]Hope for Escape[/url]. This makes me pay one thousand life points. Then I get to draw a card for every two thousand points of difference between us.” As her life points sank, she winced as her energy was sapped away (LP 3000). She felt weak, but she must remain perceived as strong. Drawing the two most destructive cards she could back to back however made her feel much better. “Humph, that’s more like it. Magic card [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Hole"]Black Hole[/url], immediately destroys every monster on the field.” Yudai scowled as powerless to defend them, the four monsters they controlled were all sucked into the abyss. “Then I activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Infestation_Ripples"]Invasive Ripples[/url]. By paying a further five hundred life points, Sharp is resurrected and free to attack you directly!” Clarissa buckled fractionally despite her best efforts as more of her life was drained (LP 2500). Thankfully Yudai didn’t really notice as the wasp attacked him. Ducking behind his bladed disk, he managed to evade the full effect of the stinger, albeit become suitably incensed (LP 6150). “I set a monster and a face down, and end my turn.” “Is that the best you can do?!” Yudai snapped. Annoyingly it was, not that she had any way to display otherwise. “Whatever, now that the irrelevant distraction is done, back to me. I activate the [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Creeping_Darkness"]Creeping Darkness[/url] magic card. By banishing two dark monsters from my cemetery, I can search my deck for another. And because you control more monsters than me, I can special summon it. [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Evilswarm_Mandragora"]Verz Mandrago[/url]! Then I summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Evilswarm_Thunderbird"]Verz Thunderbird[/url] as well!” A small twisted weed appeared beside him (Lv4, ATK 1550), followed by a larger sized bird with dark plumage and crest (Lv4, ATK 1650). Suddenly in control of another bulk load of muscle, Yudai turned on Sakura again. “Now my Verz, attack Sakura directly!” “Seriously, you think I’d let you do that when it was so obvious you’d try again?” Clarissa snorted as the monsters charged. “[url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Mirror_Force"]Holy Barrier - Mirror Force[/url] activates, destroying both of your attacking monsters!” “You think I’d not have that covered?” Yudai retorted. “Thunderbird’s effect activates. When the effect of a magic, trap or monster is activated, I can immediately banish it!” The bird screeched and vanished before it hit the barrier of light. “Then I activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Infestation_Infection"]Corrosive Contagion of the Invasion[/url]. By returning a Verz to my deck, I can add another in its place. I will be reselecting Mandrago.” Clarissa scowled as both monsters evaded the trap. “Sakura is nothing special to you, but still you defend her? Is it out of guilt? But you know you can’t protect her from me forever. I’ll set another card and end my turn.” Sakura gulped as she drew her next card under his relentless wicked glare. [i]‘Sacred Gredi? I see, with this and my other cards, I could summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Constellar_Omega"]Sacred Omega[/url], which can protect itself from magic and traps.’[/i] “During the standby phase, Verz Thunderbird’s effect activates” Yudai interrupted her thoughts. “It returns to the field now, and at this time also gains three hundred attack points.” (ATK 1950) “Sakura.” She blinked as Clarissa addressed her. “You must realise what Yudai intends to do on his next turn. He’s going to keep going after you, again and again, until you’re defeated before he starts on me. You must defend yourself against it.” “I... I know. That’s what I’m going to...” “No, what you’re going to do isn’t going to be good enough!” Clarissa interrupted bluntly. “I duelled you, I know what you’re thinking, and I must stop you. I know you’re scared of it, but you can’t afford to hold it back now.” Sakura gasped as she realised what she was alluding to and tried to refuse, but Clarissa would not be dissuaded. “You have to, you need its protection or he will kill you otherwise. Summon it!” “I... I... you’re right.” She felt sick at the prospect, but she knew Clarissa was right. For her own safety, for the others future, and Yudai’s release, she would have to sell her soul. “I summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Constellar_Leonis"]Sacred Leonis[/url].” A small fully clad knight whose armour mirrored a lion’s appeared before her (Lv3, ATK 1000). “When Leonis is on the field, once per turn, I can make one extra normal summon. I will use it to summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Constellar_Algiedi"]Sacred Gredi[/url] and trigger her effect; to special summon the level four [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Constellar_Kaust"]Sacred Kaust[/url] from my hand. Then I activate Kaust’s effect, increasing the level of Leonis by one.” The goat and archer based Sacred appeared one after the other, Kaust in a scatter of stars that crossed to the lion (Lv4). Yudai’s eyes narrowed suspiciously as he assessed the situation, as she raised her hand. “Now I overlay my three level four monsters. Xyz summon!” As the Sacred vanished, the pressure began to build inside her once more, it was almost overwhelming. But this time she refused to kneel to it. As the cubic seal rose before her, the glowing runes appearing on her wrist, she refused to let it control her. She would take control of the winged creature this time (Rk4, ATK 2300). “Please, lend me your power for a shield of light and not a sword of destruction. [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Number_16:_Shock_Master"]Number 16: Ruler of Colour - Shock Ruler[/url]!” As Shock Ruler took full form, they could see something in Yudai’s face twitch at the sight of it, reflecting his mind as something visibly snapped. Seeing it now with Sakura, he went absolutely ballistic. “You... you would dare summon that thing against me!? After I protected you from it!? After it killed me!? How can you... have you no shame? No love for me? After everything you turn to it instead of me?!” “I’m sorry Yudai” Sakura’s voice waved between tears. “I have to. I can’t be with you like this, and I can’t let this Verz disease claim you. I activate the effect of Shock Ruler. By detaching an overlay unit, it can prevent the activation of any cards of a declared type until the end of the next turn. I choose traps.” “Thunderbird’s effect activates once more, banishing itself in response.” Yudai stared at her as the dark bird vanished again, his face down crackling with static, slowly shaking his head with a confident grin on his face. “You wouldn’t. There’s no way you can.” “You’re right, I probably could never attack my Yudai” she replied quietly, before lifting her gaze to her mighty protector. “Shock Ruler, attack Pestilence!” Yudai blinked in shock as the bulky creature suddenly charged straight for him, slamming its wing into him. Sakura choked as he flew through the air, almost slipping in her concentration, but marshalled her thoughts in time before the Numbers possessive nature took advantage. She wasn’t attacking Yudai, she was attacking someone controlling Yudai to free him and now they were halfway (LP 3850), and she had to keep that mentality. Clarissa gave her support by nodding approvingly, before turning to the last two cards in her hand. She just had to hope it would work. “I set two cards and end my turn.” A long distance away, Yudai was staggering to his feet, absolutely seething. “You... little... traitor! How could you?” Almost breaking down in anger as he snatched wildly at his deck, the arena responded in a rapid chaotic blur of changing coloured backgrounds. “Alright, no more holding back! You will come back to me! Thunderbird returns to the field, then once again I special summon Mandrago by its effect and Xyz summon! Come, my second all powerful dragon, [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Evilswarm_Ophion"]Verz Ophion[/url]!” A larger, weightier dragon whose icy wings were the only part to escape the dark transformation, the corrupted Gungnir hit the field hard (Rk4, ATK 2550). “When Ophion has overlay units, no level five and above monsters can be special summoned. But by detaching one of them, I can add a magic or trap card to my hand with ‘Invasion’ in its name. Also by sending Fragment of Greed to the cemetery now, I can draw another two cards.” Hand quickly replenished, Yudai continued the merciless advance. “Because you two still have more monsters, I can special summon a second Mandrago. Then I summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Rescue_Rabbit"]Rescue Rabbit[/url] and use its effect, banishing it to summon two [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Evilswarm_Heliotrope"]Verz Heliotrope[/url] from my deck. Xyz summon!” Two stone knights appeared beside the second weed, before all plunged once more into the vortex. Clarissa gasped, having already realised what was coming and fearing the worst, something Yudai picked up on. “You are right to look so afraid. Appear the ultimate ice dragon, granted new life by the Verz and more powerful than ever before! Rise as my arm to end the sickness of life, [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Evilswarm_Ouroboros"]Verz Ouroboros[/url]!” Sakura had never seen the holy ice barrier dragon Trishula before, since it was banned from tournament use when she watched Yudai compete, but even she could not fail to realise what was coming was going to be bad, especially as the third dragon took shape in the form of a creature so terrifying. Towering over Ophion was not one, not two, but three heads; biting and snapping, six red eyes all glaring down at her. The chorus of shrieks was a chorus of death (Rk4, ATK 2750). But still Yudai wasn’t done. “Magic card, [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Monster_Reborn"]Raise Dead[/url], summons a monster from any cemetery! Rise again and fight with your sisters!” Sakura swallowed as Bahamut rose once more from the depths, joining its bigger siblings in surrounding Yudai, all of them staring down on her. ...07:17:22... Hideo had spent the last few minutes systematically shoving into every room, apologising to the occupants he disturbed, as he continued to search for Mai. Despite everything that happened today, Mai had been consistently at the front of his thoughts, as well as Sakura. He could only hope that wherever she was, she was okay. Certainly better than Tarao was doing, but he was trying not to think about that. Shuddering as the screech of the dragon echoed around his mind, he pressed on along the corridor. He had to find her somewhere and comfort her, help her be strong. He could do nothing more. Having checked every room on this floor he was about to head downstairs when he found Baron, his assistant Piotr, and one of his high rank agents running towards him. All looked worryingly concerned about something. He immediately thought they were going to ask him about two monsters they had seen. Oh god, what is they asked him if he had seen Tarao? He tried to keep calm and remain neutral in his expression. “Gentleman, what’s happening now?” “We could be in real trouble” the Polish scientist blurted. “We’ve just detected that the Demon Roar God forces have gathered into a massive swell little over a mile away, and are heading this way.” Hideo felt his knotted stomach disappear altogether as Piotr continued to flap. “They are on the hunt for our blood; and we must look the proverbial sandwich box to them.” “It gets worse” Baron added calmly. “Our defences are stretched to breaking point, having taken many casualties in moving to and defending this place against but a fraction of the group that is gathering. We have very few men capable of fighting left. Therefore I’ve taken the decision to evacuate and move our base to elsewhere. If you’d be so kind as to follow us Prime Minister, we leave ASAP.” Hideo stared at him, unable to move. “You’re evacuating?” But... but I haven’t found Mai. She’s still in here somewhere. Plus all the other refugees. There must be at least five hundred people here, maybe a thousand. You come to find me to evacuate, but you’d leave the rest here to the mercy of the demons?” “There’s nothing we can do” Baron replied. “I have to keep our forces intact to support the group fighting those responsible. Now come with us Prime Minister, or I will have you escorted by force.” Still Hideo refused to move. He looked from face to face for support, but none was coming. Baron’s decision was made, and his right hand man seemed unfazed by it. Only Piotr looked regretful about it. But he couldn’t go. He couldn’t leave. “My decisions have cost the lives of so many today. I cannot abandon these people who have come here needing safety. Who you have a duty to protect.” “I have a duty to protect everyone, but I’m not going to have my men be killed in a battle they cannot hope to win. We are leaving now. Kitsuro.” The agent, armed with a D-Gazer, moved to grab the Prime Minister and teleport them away. He backed off; he would not leave here without a fight. “If I might interrupt?” The arguing group all stopped in amazement, and in Hideo’s case dread, as Junichi wandered amongst their midst. “Excuse me, I heard the whole conversation, and I have an alternative solution.” He did appear more relaxed than any of them, as ignoring Hideo he held up his D-Disk to Baron. “We’re facing duel monsters at the end of the day. Therefore I think our best defence would be to fight fire with fire.” “You expect me to place my life in the hands of you and a few holographic monsters?” Baron snapped. “If you don’t your life will probably be taken away by those monsters, which are now much more than holographic.” Baron was stunned by the reply and its offhandedness. “I’ve already recruited a few people here to fight with me. Prime Minister, I was hoping that you would also join our ranks. With you at the front fighting with them, it would inspire them.” To Hideo’s surprise, Junichi bowed before him. “I understand if you didn’t want to. But know that whatever you decide, I am your soldier sir.” Embarrassed with being bowed to, Hideo pulled Junichi up and clasped his hand. A gritty resolve burned inside him. “It would be honoured to fight with you Junichi. Just get me a D-Disk and lead the way.” ...07:20:22... “Ahahahahahaha! Behold the might of the three holy dragons of ice, resurrected stronger than ever before as the heralds of the Verz and spreading its glorious rule with their new might!” Yudai was fully savouring the moment, basking in the shadow of the three corrupted dragons and giving Clarissa and Sakura plenty of time to wait in dread. Sakura especially as he turned his soulless gaze back on her. “Now my darling, this time you will embrace us. Not even that demonic being can protect you. I activate the effect of Verz Ouroboros. By detaching an overlay unit, I can activate one of three effects. I choose one that allows me to return your monster back to your hand. And thanks to its own effect, you’re powerless to defend it! Ouroboros, erase Shock Ruler!” The left head of the dragon craned back and released a freezing torrent of energy like black ice towards Shock Ruler. Without its protection, she would be open to all three of those creatures. Desperately she went for her D-Disk. “Instant magic; [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Forbidden_Chalice"]Forbidden Chalice[/url]. This negates the effect of a monster.” The breath struck the wing of Shock Ruler without effect, and she could breathe a sigh of relief. “Nice response, but it’s too early to look so relieved” Yudai snarled in delight. “Forbidden Chalice also increases the strength of its target by four hundred points for the rest of this turn (ATK 3150). Now I’m going to start putting them to use. Battle phase; go Bahamut. Attack Shock Ruler!” Releasing another stream of dark icy breath, Bahamut’s attack slammed into the other wing of Shock Ruler, and with it finally the first blow was struck. Sakura shuddered as some of the breath blew back onto her; the dragon’s breath was freezing even in such a minor amount (LP 3950). Shock Ruler remained steadfast, taking the full force of that attack did not bare thinking about. “It’s not over yet! Ophion, follow it up with the second attack!” The bulkier dragon caught Shock Ruler full on, bathing the main body and head in freezing energy. Shock Ruler was pushed back by the force, struggling to hang on, and Sakura stepped back as she got more blowback (LP 3700). Her breathing starting to become ragged as crystals of ice started to gather in her lungs, and her bare skin was beginning to burn. She was suffering, but still the deranged Yudai would not let up. “Now Ouroboros; give Sakura all feeling that is left in me in your attack. Show her the way!” All three heads fired at once, three beams of bright blue and tainted black flame striking Shock Ruler in the back and each wing, driving it crashing into the floor. Still the mourning angel clung on, defending her despite its clear suffering. Sakura was on her knees, taking shallow breaths as her body temperature plummeted, and the ice crystals infected with Verz continued to build inside her (LP 2850). Powerless to help her Clarissa could only watch as her skin started to bear the corruption of the virus, dark blotches appearing as the virus began to spread. Yudai just looked down at her with a heartless grimace. “The invasion of Verz cells into your body will accelerate as your life points steadily decrease, until you are taken completely. With this you will become my princess once again, and we can be together to do whatever we want. Anything we want, together, until all existence fades away. I set a card. Turn end.” Sakura didn’t acknowledge his words. She could barely stand. Clarissa though was appalled. “You idiot! No sane person could do this to someone they claim to love. Can’t you see her suffer?” “Eh, like I care what you think” Yudai shrugged. “All people suffer; it’s a constant unwinnable struggle. I will relieve Sakura of the suffering that has plagued her, by removing all pain and sorrow from her. My brother Death will do the same for everyone else, saving them from the sickness of their lives.” “Ah! Forget it; I’m done trying to reason with you!” Clarissa snapped. “I draw!” Clarissa: LP 2500, Hand 2, Field of Inverz Sharp and a face down monster Sakura: LP 2850, Hand empty, Field of 16: Shock Ruler, Star Sign of Sacred, and a face down Pestilence: LP 3850, Hand empty, Field of Bahamut, Ophion, Ouroboros, Corrosive Contagion and two face downs [i]‘Oh, now I get Madith’[/i] she thought as she drew the mantis like Inverz. “I reveal my face down monster to be [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Steelswarm_Scout"]Scout of the Inverz[/url], flipping it into attack.” The small beetle emerged from the reversed card (Lv1, ATK 0). “Then I activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Mystic_Box"]Magical Box of Death[/url]; destroying Ophion and giving you control of Scout!” Yudai grimaced as the bulkier dragon disappeared in the exploding magician’s box. “Now with that out of the way, I will release Sharp to advance summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Steelswarm_Mantis"]Inverz Madith[/url], and trigger its effect. By paying a thousand life points, Sharp is dragged back. Then because I advance summoned, I can special summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Illusionsnatch"]Illusion Snatch[/url] as well, and its level becomes equal to Madith’s!” The skeletal doppelganger floated beside the dark mantis (Lv5, ATK 2200), before the two monsters plunged into the vortex opening before Clarissa. Despite having not been attacked she had expended so much of her energy on costs that she beginning to feel faint (LP 1500). But she had to keep standing. “Now I overlay my level five monsters. Xyz summon, bringer of pain and vengeance. [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Adreus%2C_Keeper_of_Armageddon"]Protector of the End, Adreus[/url]!” The dark angel spread its wings, striking a menacing figure. Now it was Yudai’s turn to experience the unknown (Rk5, ATK 2600). “Not good enough, it can’t take my Ouroboros down!” “Don’t you get tired of being wrong?” Clarissa smiled sweetly. “Adreus’ effect. By detaching an overlay unit, it can destroy a card on the field. Surely even in your fragile state you can see where this is going.” “Surely you don’t think I’m going to allow it!” Yudai snarled as the dark angel, knife in hand, swooped towards Ouroboros. “Shock Ruler’s effect has worn off, so I activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Corrosive_Collapse_Infestation"]Corrosive Collapse of the Invasion[/url]! By banishing the target Ouroboros, both Adreus and Shock Ruler are bounced away!” Clarissa baulked as the trap opened and the three heads charged their attacks. This would leave them both with nothing! “Trap card!” Both of them jumped as suddenly Sakura stood, despite all the pain she was in, activating her remaining face down. “[url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Trap_Stun"]Trap Stun[/url]! This negates the effects of all other trap cards this turn!” Yudai blinked in shock as suddenly his trap failed, and Adreus cackling wildly plunged into Ouroboros. The dragon screeched and flailed as it sank into the abyss, the mangle of cries was harrowing. “Great move Sakura!” Relieved Clarissa gave her partner a grateful gesture, but she didn’t respond. She was still physically struggling, but all her focus, her hard steely look, was on Yudai. “Do you see now Pestilence? We deny your warped desires, and now you have no defence! Adreus, attack Bahamut!” In a whirl of slashes, Adreus cut through the dragon, once more disappearing into the grave. Yudai buckled as he felt the cursed blade rip through him (LP 3500). “Now Sharp, destroy Scout!” The wasp effortlessly dispatched of the tiny Inverz creature, proceeding to stab Yudai in the chest with its venomous stinger. Shocked by the attack the white horseman collapsed to his knees, struggling to breathe after so many direct hits (LP 1750). “I end my turn. Give up horseman. You don’t stand a chance of winning this duel now!” “huuu... huuu.... huuu.... You still think... I give a stuff... about winning this?” The girls blinked as muttering darkly, Yudai forced himself upright, unable to stand fully tall, bent over and clutching his chest as he struggled on. “I don’t care about this duel!” he spat. “It doesn’t matter what happens whether I win or lose! You think beating me will somehow save you all? Well I’ve got news for you; it doesn’t make the blindest bit of difference what you do! Death’s already won!” Both girls froze at the enormity of his revelation. It couldn’t be? The end of the world, it couldn’t be all over already. Across the space Yudai was going mad with them, shouting in a frantic rage. “It’s over! It was over the moment the abyss came into contact with the merged world of Earth and the VDS, and that was always going to happen! The world is finished. There’s nothing you, Murtagh, Kaneko, or anyone else can do about it! All you’re doing is speeding the end of existence up!” “No” Sakura gasped. “That can’t be true; there must be a way to stop it. Please Yudai, why are you doing this? If you’re not duelling to prevent us from stopping Death, then why? Tell me!” “But I already have” Yudai replied slowly. His voice was shallow, as was his breathing, as despite his struggle to stand he drew his card. “All I want is to be with you again. Just for a little while, before all existence comes to an end. I have no interest in anything else. Everything is screwed now anyway. But just for whatever time we have left, I want you back with me. I activate my face down [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Return_from_the_Different_Dimension"]Return from the Different Dimension[/url]! First, I must pay half my remaining life points!” Yudai swayed violently as his life plummeted to dangerous levels (LP 875). “Then all my banished monsters are summoned to my field.” Both women tensed as Verz Wisp, Rescue Rabbit, and a black scaled [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Evilswarm_Salamandra"]dinosaur[/url] of the Verz that had also been banished emerged through the opening portal (Lv4, ATK 1850). They both realised with dread the situation that Yudai had set up. His last resort. The arena’s image pulsed with each weak heartbeat as he raised his hand upwards. “We will be together again. I overlay my level four monsters. Xyz summon!” The three monsters spirits rocketed skywards, and from the starry vortex descended a monster, Sakura clasped her hands over her mouth to stifle screaming. A horned beast with an ugly fanged face and glowing yellow eyes, its skeletal body tapering to a tail and long arms hanging beneath it covered with long flexing spines (Rk4, ATK 2600). The beast floated high over the field above the possessed Yudai, who stared at it blankly. “This is my Number; [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Number_69:_Heraldry_God_-_Coat_of_Arms"]69: God Medallion Coat of Arms[/url]!” Without warning, a spectral hand shot from the beast, plunging into each Adreus and Shock Ruler and shocking their duelists. The effect left them visibly crippled. “When Coat of Arms is summoned, it immediately negates the effects of all other Xyz monsters” Yudai explained. “Then it will use them as its own. I activate the stolen effect of Adreus!” One of the overlay comets disappeared close to the marking on the beast’s forehead. “Now this time I will destroy my nemesis, taking my revenge and reclaiming Sakura from it! Destroy Shock Ruler!” Shock Ruler instantly exploded into a million pieces. Sakura crumbled as she watched it go. All this time with it, she never thought she’d feel such despair to see it go. When she first saw it she was terrified, and desperately wanted Yudai to beat it and protect her from it. Now almost a day later he had finally succeeded, and now she was going to die, because it was protecting her from him. Looking helplessly to Clarissa for some support, she could feel tears on her face, and could see she felt no better. “I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do this time” she croaked. It was okay. She’d done her best to protect her. In this duel, and throughout their time together, more than she had realised at first. She was grateful. Sakura was just about to tell her as such, when Yudai roared over her to the monster overhead. “Now Coat of Arms, attack Sakura directly! God Rage!” Some cataclysmic force struck her, driving her into the ground. Weakly her eyes flickered, as she slipped in and out of consciousness (LP 250). The horrific Coat of Arms leered down at its victim from on high; below it Yudai just looked at her blankly. “One more attack, that’s all I need to reunite us. Just pass on your turn Sakura, and Coat of Arms unstoppable power will bring us back together.” [i]‘This pain... it hurts so much.’[/i] Her thoughts were bleary and ill-formed as she lay there, and contorted by the Verz infection spreading through her body. [i]‘Maybe if I give up... it might not be so bad. If everything is truly doomed... and I could be back with Yudai... maybe.’[/i] She could see Yudai, wrapped in his twisted black armour and looking at her with those eyes. They were so cold, so empty, looking at him made her feel something she had never felt around him before, and it made her realise what she wanted to do. [i]‘No, I can’t give in. I don’t want to be like that, and I can’t leave him as Death’s pawn. I have to free him.’[/i] Noticing the card her deck had offered her, she drew it automatically, and her heart sank. The magic card Raise Dead was powerful, but ultimately useless. There was nothing she could summon that could defeat the grotesque Coat of Arms, not even Shock Ruler. “No... there must be something. Somehow. I activate Raise Dead to summon... um...” No matter what she chose there was nothing she could do. Eventually the knight Pleiades rose up and knelt before her in defence (DEF 1500). “Why do you keep denying me Sakura?” Yudai demanded. “It’s hopeless. The end is inevitable. Spare yourself the suffering and let the Verz take it away. Why keep fighting it?” “Because... I love you.” Her voice trembled. “But I can’t be with you like this. This isn’t right. I wanted to help you, but I was too late. Now I can’t bear to watch you be like this, being controlled by this monster, when it’s forcing you to hurt me and all these people who have supported me more than I have been able to return. You’re not the boy I knew once, I want my Yudai back. Please... YUDAI!” Screaming with grief, something triggered. From within Sakura’s D-Disk burst a brilliant white light, blinding everyone. From the light emerged a roar, a sound that transcended the stars. When the light faded, everyone looked up in wonderment to see Pleiades had disappeared, and in its place stood an almighty creature. A dragon covered in majestic silver and gold armour, standing on all fours, stretching its long wings and neck and screaming to the stars above (Rk6, ATK 2700). It was beautiful. Yudai gawped at the creature in amazement. “Ptolemy’s? Where the hell did Ptolemy’s come from?” She didn’t know. She was standing, though she had done so without thinking. But she felt connected to this creature somehow, this gentle yet powerful dragon, this was her real ace and guardian. One comet floated around its body. “I Xyz summoned [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Constellar_Ptolemys_Messier_7"]Sacred Messier Ptolemys[/url] using Pleiades as an overlay unit, so Star Sign of the Sacred activates, giving me one more card!” she said, without really knowing what she was talking about, or where the words came from. Tipping the card into sight, she gasped at first, but she soon realised what she had to do. “Now Messier, attack Coat of Arms!” “What!? But a Number can’t be destroyed in battle?” Yudai started. Ptolemy’s ignored him; charging a ray of blinding light in its jaws, Coat of Arms responding above him. “Bah, this is over! I activate...!” “I’m sorry. I activate...!” The whole arena filled with explosions as the two monsters attacks met in the middle. Quickly Clarissa dived beneath Adreus, the phantasmal guardian covering her with its wings as a shield. For a minute nothing made sense, all was just noise and light and nothing else. Finally when the dust settled, she emerged and surveyed the damage. The madness of the arena had vanished and settled back to being its original pure white state. Both Sakura and Yudai had been launched, landing far away in either direction and laid out on their backs covered in scars. Horrifyingly she realised Coat of Arms was still floating there, its attack points now dizzyingly high (ATK 5300). Ptolemy’s had gone. But Sakura, nor Yudai for that matter, had taken any damage. She couldn’t work it out for a minute, as she tried to replay what had happened. How Ptolemy’s attacked, and both of them had gone for their hands...” “[url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Honest"]Honest[/url]...” she realised in wonder. “Did they both activate Honest... at the same time?” Far in the distance, Sakura groaned as she tried to sit up, but her body failed her. Struggling to see, she groped for help, until someone grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. Her head was spinning as she faltered, but her aid caught her. It felt somehow familiar. “Yudai?” “I’m sorry Sakura” Yudai whispered. Unable to stop herself being alarmed she struggled out of his grip and backwards, only when she was free realising he made no attempt to stop her. His attire had turned back to all white as well, he was still, and looking at her most calmly with his head bowed apologetically. “I... can’t blame you for that reaction after what I just did. That clash, our monsters equally matched through our two Honest cards colliding, it bought me back to my senses. I... just wanted to tell you how sorry I am Sakura. My emotions impressed on the virtual world were so strong and chaotic, they only needed a nudge to be sent into a downward spiral. Death used and played on them to twist my mind into joining him, inserting it into this body to be his horseman. When defeated, this body will fail, but I can see now... that is best. I have committed a great crime, but do not want any more in this madness.” Despite his calm Sakura began to tremble. Clarissa had made her way over and was trying to support her body, but she was struggling to cope. “But what am I supposed to do without you?” “You’ll make it. You’ll find someone else who will love you as much as I do. And they’ll be very lucky to have you, someone so beautiful and caring.” She choked as Yudai smiled, before he turned to Clarissa. “Of course such a future depends on Death being stopped. I don’t know if that’s possible, or if things even can be reversed, but I see now you have to try and not just let it happen. However, I fear that Death will force me to fight again. Please, would you send me? I wouldn’t want Sakura to have to do it.” Clarissa nodded without a word, accepting the dead man’s request. Thankful for it Yudai turned and walked away, stopping only when Sakura cried out for him. “I’m sorry Sakura, I have to go. I know it hurts, but you’re strong. Just promise me you’ll survive this wretched day somehow, and don’t spend your life after grieving for me. Live it, be happy and fall in love again. I... can go content with that.” Unable to speak, Sakura watched as he proceeded to walk to a safe distance away, standing underneath Coat of Arms, and prepared himself. He was struggling to keep his own returning emotions, removed as Pestilence, in check, but he managed a small smile. This time it was loving. “Please, finish it.” Clarissa drew her card. Destroying Coat of Arms seemed a tall order, but she saw she got exactly what she needed to do it. But she wouldn’t, not without Sakura’s blessing. Looking down at the meek, beat up girl beneath her, Sakura was teary eyed, but gave her the nod. “Scout of the Inverz activates from my cemetery, summoning itself to the field at the start of my turn. Then by releasing three monsters, I advance summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Steelswarm_Hercules"]Inverz Greys[/url].” From the gaseous spirits of the Inverz splitting bodies opened a swirling black gateway, from which the king of the Inverz could emerge. A mighty beetle laced with gold, grand spikes producing from all parts of its armour, the ruler of the invasive race hit the field with a quake like thud (Lv10, ATK 3200). “Greys effect activates. By paying half of my remaining life points, every other card on the field is destroyed.” Paying such a cost seemed like nothing now. Coat of Arms snarled in pain as a shockwave of black energy struck it, blasting it into non-existence. Watching the accursed fiend disappear, Yudai simply mouthed the words ‘thank you’, followed by a few last words for Sakura. ‘I love you’. Then he closed his glistening white eyes and solemnly bowed his head, waiting for release. Keeping as hard hearted as she manage, Clarissa held Sakura tight and gave the order for Greys to release another wave of its dark energy. The blast ripped right through Yudai, and as his life points dropped to zero, he softly faded away until nothing was left (LP 0). As the last of his spirit vanished, along with the great destroyer Greys, Sakura broke down in Clarissa’s arms. Clarissa held her, letting her cry it out without interruption, even as the white background began to fade out and transport them away.[/spoiler] [spoiler=About what I said before]When I said 'the family of the story', you didn't think I was refering to Dai, Clarissa, Wilhelm and Kaneko, did you?[/spoiler] Generic request for comments comment inserted here. Next chapter will be up some time on Friday whenever I get the chance. Busy with stuff towards the latter end of the week, but next week I'm on holiday from work (I'm free, I'm free! ) so fingers crossed should be smooth sailing from then on into the depths of hell that herald the final hour.... (mwahahaha). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northern Sage Posted November 6, 2012 Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 [spoiler='…What?']CALLED IT. Damn, I was going to make a prediction about Messier 7… And Junichi finally joins the good guys. Verz were also very well implemented. Blown away by the duel. [/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aerion Brightflame Posted November 6, 2012 Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 Ok. I'll keep it brief. I will do a proper review soonish, but I am not going to insult you by doing one when I ma stressed out. So basically this is just my first thoughts. [spoiler='Magical sweets inside. '] Yudai was a da Feth O.o moment. Twisted Logic was good, as ever. Nice to see Sakura actually duel well. Politician line was fairly good this time. End of the duel kinda... died for me. But I'll reread before I make final judgement.[/spoiler] So yeah, well done. A good job yet again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted November 6, 2012 Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 I didn't dislike Erin, my memory's just a bit hazy. Wasn't she the one that betrayed the group and joined Demon's crew for a while? [spoiler=DEUS EX MACHINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA] Other than [b]that[/b], the Prime Minister's line hasn't been this good for a long time. It was interesting to finally see him do something. Well, you know how I feel about the horsemen, so I won't comment on that, but this chapter didn't change that. If anything, this made me dislike them even more. Not for what they do, mind you, but as characters. The duel itself was alright; standard YGO-fare, but you make it interesting enough. The ending was a bit clichéed, but I guess that's how these things tend to go. [/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vector Nightmare Posted November 6, 2012 Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 And now reviewing will happen. 22.1 and 22.2 is a pair of chapters that lead us to the final leg of the story; the battle against the Horsemen. Btw at first I was under the misconception that there was someone leading the 4 Horsemen, and that all 4 were, hmm, "recruited". But it quickly becomes apparent that Death is the big honcho here. Which is... well, fine I suppose. One less enemy to nuke. Murtagh's group has been dealt with in blitz-speed. Izura dies, Asami and Evos are killed, Murtagh is defeated and has a reluctant change of heart, and Garvan becomes a good guy (and is revealed to have been a good guy all along...) This all happened rather fast. As Umbra pointed out, the insertion of the 4 Horsemen as the final bosses ended up damaging the resolution of the Murtagh plotline a bit. I had seen it coming of course, but how to put it... even after Murtagh's defeat, I expected something more from that aspect than just "he joins good guys". Is there any particular reason Murtagh didn't choose HED as his Number, by the way? It's probably something like "it's too strong", but it wasn't addressed at all. So hm. The first two Horsemen to be tackled are War and Famine, which we are already familiar with. And the ones to draw the lot are Natsumi (of course), Daiki and Garvan. I liked the duel, very much. It had all the right moves, especially with Natsumi struggling to prevent Dyson Sphere. There's not much to say as the duel part in this chapter was mostly secondary and build-up for the next, but it felt good and none of the characters were shafted. Duel stuff aside the plot seems to be wriggling into its final route in 22.1 and does so a bit awkwardly. I loved the resolution of Clarissa's, Daiki's and Kaneko's reunion. But I expected Murtagh's turn-around to come at some point in the middle of the Horsemen-clearing. Not before. Ah well. But overall the build-up was good and it led into the Horsemen fight on a good note. 22.2 takes the 2-on-3 duel as its main focus... stuff happens in it, a lot of stuff. Before that, though, the rest of the teams become apparent. Jin and Kaneko are obvious, and Clarissa and Sakura make a good pairing, given the circumstances. With Murtagh wandering about on his own and the other three already set, this accounts for everybody. Now already at this point I had a pretty good idea of what Clarissa and Sakura were in for and for better or worse, my predictions were right on the mark. That essentially leaves Murtagh, who may or may not get worfed by Death. Somehow I can't see Jin and Kaneko being the pair to handle the final duel, not alone. Daiki will probably be involved somehow and... well, more on all that later. So Garvan pulls out #17 and dishes out some damage, which ends up contributing to Famine summoning "Number 75: Matt's Alternate Winning Condition". I kid, I kid. But Wyvern is powerful beyond belief. And Daiki brings out Black Mist with Garvan's contribution, which was a nice touch. I liked that part a lot, but Black Mist fails to destroy Dyson Sphere. Obligatory exposition with some nice philosophical touches follows, which is promptly rejected, by Natsumi nonetheless (a nice move). But it all comes down to... well, little. Because Apocalypse Wyvern lays down the law. Garvan and Daiki have to go through all sorts of hoops. For some reason I always like Garvan's and Daiki's duels, because they tend to involve a lot of unconventional strategies and complicated maneuvers that add to the game. I guess it's the advantage of using more broadly-themed decks. In the end, Hope unsurprisingly appears, and with admittedly one of Zexal's cooler deus-ex-machina cards (out of the many), Hope VOLCANIC turns the tables on the Horsemen pair. Poor Vlad gets snuffed first. I dislike how Vladimir is basically... a jobber in this fic. He appeared as this champion guy but all he's done in the fic is basically get kicked around by various people. Well, he did beat Hunter in that tag duel but... and in the end, his death was pretty underwhelming too. He just... ended, right there. And his backstory didn't really go anywhere. I'm sorry but out of all the characters in the fic, Vladimir is probably the most poorly-handled one. At any rate, Hope X Volca was a cool thing, and would have been fitting to end the duel right there. Unmai returns to his senses... that part, I did not like. Because... It just felt pretty weak that the Horsemen were essentially just puppets again. I mean... I thought the whole point of them being dead was that there wasn't any need for brainwashes or things like that... in that kind of situation, that's such a common plot device that I was really hoping not to see it here. But well, I did. What's worse it only lasts for like two paragraphs and then Death takes over... another plot device I was hoping against. Because you may be confused, since I mentioned the thing about Vladimir earlier, I did not mean that Vladimir should've gotten Unmai's treatment. But there should have been some form of exposition or something. Vladimir dying like that and then that thing with Unmai... yeah, the two Horsemen's end was probably one of my least favorite things in the arc. So moving on... Death summons Destiny Leo, which he calls "his Number". Well, I'm thinking Death probably has some non-Number ace (or hoping so at least), because Destiny Leo... is kinda boring. Well, at least that small part of the duel was pretty good. Natsumi goes all-out, Death demonstrates once more how broken Wyvern is, Garvan Veilertrolls, and Chaos XYZ happens. Now honestly, I don't know how I feel about Hope Ray appearing here. If it was me, I'd either have him as a last-duel-finisher ala Savior Star in Armageddon, or debut him in some critical duel a ways before the end and then lay off him until the last duel. Well, I guess Daiki can pop a Zexal Weapon as a last move. Or you may troll us all and Daiki may not duel from now on. Hm hm hm. Well... I guess someone had to kick the bucket at this point, and it's Natsumi and not Garvan, as I had anticipated. Natsumi was actually one of the better characters in this fic. I feel sad for her death. But at the same time her death doesn't have the same impact as Tyrana's had, for example. Probably because she was kinda pushed aside by Clarissa once the latter joined the good guys' side, and has been on the backburner since... I think Garvan dying would've shot out much more opportunities, especially in the light of the revelations about his true allegiances. I'm kinda thinking about Garvan... his character is a little contradictory. If he WAS actually on their side, why was he acting like a prick even after his first cover was blown? It doesn't add up so well. But anyway, at least we find out that there's more to Baron than meets the eye. I don't know if that will actually end up being a major plot point, or just something backgroundish that will be resolved quickly. But I'm leaning on the latter, because there's simply not enough space. But, there are a few ways. Poor Black Corn, your master died without even having a chance to use you. And Garvan, who is probably not going to be seeing much action from now on, didn't use Galaxy Queen, which was actually his original Number. On the contrary, Daiki, who is very likely to get in another duel, uses both his Numbers (and more). In the end... did I like the beginning of the final stage of the story? Yes, I did. Could it have been handled better? Yes, it could, especially the parts about Vladimir's and Unmai's respective deaths, with each suffering from its own set of issues. For me, I will have to agree with Umbra... the Horsemen just don't feel... natural to the story's premise. In practice their overall setup as a villain group turned out fairly generic and them not having much in the way of a stated agenda beyond destruction of everything doesn't help. I'm reserving judgment on this until I see how things unfold with Death, but yeah. Somehow it feels that they'd have been better off as mid-level bosses dealt with parallel to Murtagh's group, with Death playing a second final villain role, than follow up. Now, I've read 23.1, but I'm pretty sleepy and this is getting long. So I'll cut off for now, and continue at a later point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted November 6, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 [quote name='Tama the Chibi Sage' timestamp='1352225114' post='6062259'] [spoiler='…What?']CALLED IT. Damn, I was going to make a prediction about Messier 7… And Junichi finally joins the good guys. Verz were also very well implemented. Blown away by the duel. [/spoiler] [/quote] Yes. Yes you did. Well done. *gives Tama a cookie in a non-patronizing way* It was really fun for me how it worked in the way that I knew not a lot about the horsemen before I started, but I've known as you might expect from chapter the very start this was going to happen. But to then decide to use the horsemen design, then find out one was called Pestilence, and knowing that the Verz already pencilled in are based on disease. It was all just accidentally falling into my lap so nicely, it was just a 'thank you god' moment. This is probably my favourite duel of the story for getting story and character development and the duel action intergrated together. I got everything I wanted to in with Bahamut & Pleiades and Battle Fader save, all the dragons out at once, Yudai to blow his top when Sakura summoned Shock Ruler, Adreus and Greys (didn't think I would have to cheat slightly to get it out though which is a small irritant, thought I'd have plenty of Inverz to tribute given he wouldn't attack her, but at least it made use of Adreus in a way similar to Hope Ray being used for Neo Galaxy I guess), whereas in other duels I've had to miss somethings (ie the last duel I wanted Garvan to summon Magi Magi Girl). [quote name='Archbaron Barthandelus' timestamp='1352233265' post='6062348'] Ok. I'll keep it brief. I will do a proper review soonish, but I am not going to insult you by doing one when I ma stressed out. So basically this is just my first thoughts. [spoiler='Magical sweets inside. '] Yudai was a da Feth O.o moment. Twisted Logic was good, as ever. Nice to see Sakura actually duel well. Politician line was fairly good this time. End of the duel kinda... died for me. But I'll reread before I make final judgement.[/spoiler] So yeah, well done. A good job yet again. [/quote] Um, sorry to hear things aren't so good with you and hope they get better. Maybe because of Greys cheat, or maybe because it wasn't explosive 'NOOO' like War and Faminealthough that's not always necessary to defeat someone that way, maybe because it was a bit cliche. Could be any number of valid reasons. Cheers [quote name='Umbra' timestamp='1352234748' post='6062365'] I didn't dislike Erin, my memory's just a bit hazy. Wasn't she the one that betrayed the group and joined Demon's crew for a while? [spoiler=DEUS EX MACHINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA] Other than [b]that[/b], the Prime Minister's line hasn't been this good for a long time. It was interesting to finally see him do something. Well, you know how I feel about the horsemen, so I won't comment on that, but this chapter didn't change that. If anything, this made me dislike them even more. Not for what they do, mind you, but as characters. The duel itself was alright; standard YGO-fare, but you make it interesting enough. The ending was a bit clichéed, but I guess that's how these things tend to go. [/spoiler] [/quote] Chaos Xyz = Dues ex Machina Yes she was, your point being? She was still the best female by a mile, she was good for a long time and was at the end and it was sad that she died. Oh. Damn, that sucks. Pretty one dimensional huh (Saber's massive review was posted while Iwas writing this, will reply in next post). But having read Umbra and Saber's comments and to a degree Barty's, I'm getting genuinely worried this is going to end quite flatly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted November 6, 2012 Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 This chapter's Deus Ex Machina was more about Hideo's miraculous rescue by the monsters that have been trying to kill everyone. I'm not saying that she was a bad character - which she certainly wasn't - I'm saying that she wasn't necessarily one of the protagonists, and on the grand scale of things her death can be attributed to that. However, as far as character deaths in Armageddon go, Tyrana's death can't be topped. Not as much one-dimensional as it's simply boring. The possessed bad guy turns good in the last moments of his existence, and in a single begging for forgiveness redeems his entire character. (Not that Yudai / Pestilence seemed like that much of a villain anyway, given that he's spent most of the series either unconscious or dead.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not-so-Radiant Arin Posted November 6, 2012 Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 My God, I've missed so much... It's like the fountain of youth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted November 6, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 [quote name='Umbra' timestamp='1352236576' post='6062388'] This chapter's Deus Ex Machina was more about Hideo's miraculous rescue by the monsters that have been trying to kill everyone.[/quote] ... ... in a world invaded by the Fabled and Malefic, two water monsters just so happen to show up, and just so happen to eat the guy holding a shotgun... Yeah. Um, you should read extra chapter six. [quote]I'm not saying that she was a bad character - which she certainly wasn't - I'm saying that she wasn't necessarily one of the protagonists, and on the grand scale of things her death can be attributed to that. However, as far as character deaths in Armageddon go, Tyrana's death can't be topped. Not as much one-dimensional as it's simply boring. The possessed bad guy turns good in the last moments of his existence, and in a single begging for forgiveness redeems his entire character. (Not that Yudai / Pestilence seemed like that much of a villain anyway, given that he's spent most of the series either unconscious or dead.) [/quote] Fair enough. I can't judge. I cry whenever I write a death. I cried when writing Gorou's death in Arc 2 for god's sake, that's how bad I am. (Didn't cry when Wilhelm was killed though, which was a shock to me because the entire aim with Wilhelm was to make a character so despised and then make him so liked people would mourn his death. Was a sign I was falling out of love with this/writing and needed the long break, I think). Now I agree on this, and I know I've done this with one or two characters wen I've felt appropriate and it's not something I'm keen on doing a lot. But there is [b]no[/b] way I do this to the same extent as Konami do where EVERY baddie turns out alright in defeat. Because I despise Konami for it. [quote name='~ Epic Hero - Saber ~' timestamp='1352235193' post='6062370'] And now reviewing will happen. Long and wordly review from above. Now, I've read 23.1, but I'm pretty sleepy and this is getting long. So I'll cut off for now, and continue at a later point. [/quote] Thanks for the review dude. I enjoy all the questions and possibilites you go over in this review about where things could have gone, and I take a nice feeling from the amount of unpredictiability there has been (or I assume from your comments there has been). Who knows what's in store? Nobody but meee. AHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yes everything is flying along. It is a bit quick, but I couldn't extend the timeframe otherwise it wouldn't be 24. (The idea to have Death being able to stop time flashed across my mind once to give 1-2 extra chapters, but that was a ridiculously stupid idea that was immediately dismissed.) As for not selecting 92, simply playability more than anything, Big Eye and Shark Drake are simply both easier to summon than relying on TWO level manipulating cards, or making 53 his other Number. Murtagh's got an ego, but he ain't no durn fool! (except some of his decisions recently have been I admit). And who said Murtagh's a good guy now? Glad you enjoyed Clarissa/Dai/Kaneko bit. I hoped that would get a reaction (unfortunately it ended up getting buried in a lot of other stuff). Yep, another first. First Gauntlet Duel, first duel involving Xyz mechanic (I'm claiming it), first 3on2 duel. Innovation is fun. I expected the comment on Vladimir. Yes, he's a jobber. Originally pencilled in as a one time jobber to Orion, he ended up... as a three time jobber. I wanted him to have the reputation to add a bit of weight to his selection (not just anyone can become a horseman) and it fitted his personality. His reception seems mixed across the reader-base, which is better than I hoped for him really. As for Unmai "oh I'm sorry please forgive me"... yeah, cliche hypocritical stuff on my part. It won't happen again. Ooh I like the comment on Natsumi because I remember originally you weren't sold on her (although that might have been my initial writing of her). Garvan's character is a bit of a confused enigma. Maybe. Baron's character... well we'll see (or not. Maybe). Bit disappointed I haven't been able to use Galaxy Queen or the aforementioned Magi Girl, but otherwise happy especially with Black Mist personally. Thanks again for review. It appears young Luke is not doing as well as he hoped before the council. Hmmm... ... three chapters to turn it round. [quote name='みゆきサン' timestamp='1352237347' post='6062394'] My God, I've missed so much... It's like the fountain of youth. [/quote] *shocked look* You're back? Oh hello. Yes. Yes you have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not-so-Radiant Arin Posted November 6, 2012 Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 Alright, I promise promise promise to read more of your story. I know I've got a lot of reading to do, and it is intimidating how much reading I'm gonna have to put in, but the night is young*shot*. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted November 6, 2012 Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 Extra chapter? And where would those be? Can't find them in the table of contents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aerion Brightflame Posted November 6, 2012 Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 Extra Chapter six is on Page 19. About halfway down or so. They are small tidbits between breaks in arcs. Extra details get filled in them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synchronized Posted November 6, 2012 Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 They've been randomly thrown in throughout the thread, if I do remember correctly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reinforce Posted November 6, 2012 Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 That chapter was epic, and also, picked it. Sakura and Clarissa against Yudai was a rather epic duel and the hesitation with Pleiades was a nice touch. Clarissa having bad hand yet still managing to play several powerful cards from it was a good little extra, especially with Adreus being used instead of one of her numbers. Yudai raging at Shock ruler was a really funny moment, but the ending was sad, and I guess there will be no happy ending with Sakura and Yudai. One thing though, why would Yudai have honest in a dark deck, it seems like a rather pointless card just in terms of deck building strategy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted November 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 [quote name='Umbra' timestamp='1352239832' post='6062437'] Extra chapter? And where would those be? Can't find them in the table of contents. [/quote] As stated by the others, Extra Chapters appear between arcs, usually two per arc just after the bios section, chronicalling events that take place outside of the 24 hours (so far ranging from 2-8 years in the past). I don't list them in the contents because they are seperate from the main story, and because they are like bonus tidbits/nice surprises for dedicated readers to find [quote name='Simdoggy' timestamp='1352244368' post='6062528'] That chapter was epic, and also, picked it. Sakura and Clarissa against Yudai was a rather epic duel and the hesitation with Pleiades was a nice touch. Clarissa having bad hand yet still managing to play several powerful cards from it was a good little extra, especially with Adreus being used instead of one of her numbers. Yudai raging at Shock ruler was a really funny moment, but the ending was sad, and I guess there will be no happy ending with Sakura and Yudai. One thing though, why would Yudai have honest in a dark deck, it seems like a rather pointless card just in terms of deck building strategy. [/quote] This is definately my favourite duel. The Plaedies thing with Bahamut and Clarissa making the save (legally I might add) was always going to be in there. I have literally been waiting for this for nearly a whole year and building up to it in my head, that's probably why I was so excited about it. The only things that really needed confirming were Yudai's Number (see below) and how Clarissa would help, although I always pencilled her in to help protect Sakura and deal the finish for her. I'm really happy the way her cards worked out in that she had to make do with a crap set of cards, but also a lot of cards that might otherwise have only appeared in the one against Sakura as pack filler were used again (Illusionsnatch, Magic Box, Ripples). Oh, and Black Hole was actually played and actually worked!!! I thought Yudai seeing Sakura using Shock Ruler, which let's remember he effectively died protecting her from, and then she uses it against him to protect herself from him, yeah I thought that would be powerful. Honest's inclusion can be justified (a bit more) by God Medallion and the potentially still present Disigma, or just being used as a Level 4 for most of his Verz Xyz. The double Honest thing I wanted to do if I had the cards, and thankfully the way RFTDD and Star Sign worked it did it pretty perfectly and I hope was a pretty cool moment along with Dues ex Ptolemy's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synchronized Posted November 7, 2012 Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 Wow, I'm stunned. Literally, that was so good. Like I actually need to process how good that was before I can write a full review. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brinolovania Posted November 7, 2012 Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 Remember my last comment here? Yeah, just copy and paste that for this chapter. Awesome... I somehow never thought of Yudai, though. I feel a bit dumb now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reinforce Posted November 7, 2012 Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 Only problem with Honest being used for the Verz Xyz though, Bahamut and Ophion both require Verz, Thanatos and Nightmare both require a DARK, and the only one of the set that doesn't have such strict conditions is Ouroboros. Disigma would have been interesting to see appear though, but I guess there's no chance of that now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted November 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 The level of feedback to this chapter is incredible guys. Thanks and keep it up. [quote name='- Neo -' timestamp='1352254399' post='6062748'] Wow, I'm stunned. Literally, that was so good. Like I actually need to process how good that was before I can write a full review. [/quote] Would you like a glass of water to help? Thank you. [quote name='Pacmanexus' timestamp='1352258936' post='6062819'] Remember my last comment here? Yeah, just copy and paste that for this chapter. Awesome... I somehow never thought of Yudai, though. I feel a bit dumb now. [/quote] To be fair I had kept him very much under wraps and tried to make Yudai deliberately 'forgotten about'. Whenever Sakura came into things in this arc I had to try and avoid ever mentioning his name so people would be all 'oh sh*t!' Even at the end I was trying to make it a possibility that it would be Wilhelm (wouldn't have been impossible) but Clarissa has suffered enough. Wait no she hasn't. I've still got three chapters left to fill. But Sakura needed her story to come full circle, its been meandering long enough and was always designed to be this way. [quote name='Simdoggy' timestamp='1352261980' post='6062860'] Only problem with Honest being used for the Verz Xyz though, Bahamut and Ophion both require Verz, Thanatos and Nightmare both require a DARK, and the only one of the set that doesn't have such strict conditions is Ouroboros. Disigma would have been interesting to see appear though, but I guess there's no chance of that now. [/quote] I barely looked at Nightmare and Thantos so couldn't have told you but fair enough. It might have been nice to get Disigma out and I thought about it if I was struggling for Numbers before Coat of Arms came out (thank you for that one Konami it slotted in perfectly) and so it ended up being fifth in the queue. 500th post in thread. *pops more corks* I'm... kinda at a loose end now though. New chapter soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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