Jump to content

It is time for the Rebirth of Sparta (RoS)


Thranduil

Recommended Posts

So I made a set of cards called Tyrant monsters. I like them and they are some of the best I have ever done. But I still felt lost, it wasn't enough, so I decided that since I have Laconophilia I would make a set of cards just for the Spartans and their culture. So here it is. Comments and concerns, I would like to hear them all but please no flamers.



createdcard4-1.jpg


createdcard5-1.jpg


createdcard6-1.jpg


HelotJavelineers.jpg


HelotArchers.jpg


createdcard12-1.jpg


createdcard17-1.jpg


Sparta.jpg


createcard2-3.jpg


createcard3-4.jpg


createcard4-3.jpg


createcard5-3.jpg


createcard6-3.jpg


createcard7-3.jpg


createcard8-3.jpg


createcard9-3.jpg

When this monster is summoned switch it to defense position. This monster can attack from defense position. As long as this monster remains face up on the field your opponent cannot select another "Spartan" or "Perioikoi" monster as an attack target.

createcard10-3.jpg


createcard11-3.jpg

This monster can only be summoned if you control a face up "Spartan Hoplite". When this monster is summoned place three counters on it (max 3) and switch it to defense position. This monster can attack while in defense position. If this monster would be destroyed as a result of battle remove one counter instead.

createcard12-3.jpg

This monster can be special summoned (from your hand) if you control a face up "Spartan Hoplite". When this monster is summoned place one counter on it (max 1) and switch it to defense position. This monster can attack from defense position. If this monster would be destroyed as a result of battle remove one counter instead.


I did change the level of the Spartan Hoplites and the Spartan Skiritai. The Hoplites are now lvl 6 and the Skiritai are lvl 5

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Aha, I saw your user icon and thought this thread was going to be "It is time for the Rebirth of the Orechalcos"
Anyway, I have a few suggestions on for these cards.
1. You use the exact same effect several times on many different cards. This would be fine, except some of the effects(like Spartan king) are missing key clauses that are on the other cards. I would recommend copy/pasting the effects onto all of the cards and only changing the max amount of counters, since that's the only thing that really changes.
2. I feel like that effect you're using is a bit overpowered. So let me get this straight: when your monsters are summoned, they get 5 counters straightaway. Now, whenever they would normally be destroyed, you can remove one of these counters instead, AND you have the ability to replenish these counters free of charge with a spell card. In the mean time, they came pummel you with their unfaltering ATK power(which of course they don't need, since they can attack from DEF mode, thus freeing your from the worry of Battle Damage). I think it would be a lot more fitting for your cards if they had relatively low ATK and DEF on the higher side. That would be more fitting for your effect, and it would be a lot less detrimental for your opponent. You could also consider not having any monster with 4 or more counters. Because honestly, the cards still destroy your Opponent's monster, which means you would have to go through 4 3000 ATK or more monsters just to kill your one monster. If that really is exactly what you had in mind, I retract my statement.
3. Laws of Lycurgus seems a little broken to me. It's been a while since I've actually played this game, but if I remember correctly, you can't have more than a certain number of cards in your hand. So if you drew it with 6 other cards in your hand, you would have a total of 10, and then would have to play 3(?) else discard most of the cards. If that's your intention, never mind this. But honestly, it would be a lot easier to have an effect that made your draw until you had a specific number of cards.
4. I think you need to change the level of your Spartan King. It's a 3000 ATK, 4-star monster that can only be summoned when you have another 4-star monster on the field. Yeeeeeaaah, I dunno about that.
5. You probably don't need me to tell you this, but you could definitely use some better art. White background = absolute NO in every case. At worst, you can sacrifice 100% accuracy for a Spartan-ish looking warrior drawing/painting/etc on dA. You might know enough about this stuff to tell the difference immediately, but not everyone else knows enough to notice those flaws.

And then there is some OCG stuff, which I'll help fix if no-one else does.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello I will now review your cards.
[color=#0000CD]Sparta: [/color][color=#0000CD]A good and balanced card from my knowledge, but the counters makes it slightly OP'ed as it can make your "Spartan Captain", "Spartan King", and "Spartan Hopilite" almost invincible.[/color]
[color=#0000CD]Next 2 Traps: There should be a cost.[/color]
[color=#0000CD]Diarchy: Way OP'd because as soon as you get that card and "Spartan Hopilite" on the field you have a huge attacking force that is almost invincible.[/color]
[color=#0000CD]Glorous Defeat: Balanced and perfect[/color]
[color=#0000CD]Suit Up: Good card cause it gets rid of the defense position effect and lessen's overpoweredness of it, but still it increases the attack of an already powerful archtype[/color]
[color=#0000CD]Helots: Balanced and perfect[/color]
[color=#0000CD]Musician: It's fine, but again it powers up an already powerful archtype[/color]
[color=#0000CD]2 "Perikoi" and 3 "Spartans": These are way OP'ed. First off "Spartan King" is way to easy to bring out and "Spartan Hopilite" needs to be a bit harder to bring out so "Spartan King" is not as easy to bring out. Finally lower all the DEF stats of these monsters and you'll be fine.[/color]
[color=#0000CD]Council: Way to powerful you can still cause a huge amount of damage to your opponent even if they are only taking half damage. [/color]
[color=#0000CD]Laws: Your basically doubling your hand so it should be more like "Graceful Charity".[/color]
[color=#0000CD]Agoge: To powerful as these cards already way to hard to destroy in battle.[/color]
There is my review you can ask the opinoins of someone else even though I think these reviews are pretty good. A good idea and archtype but its just a bit overpowered. Also I don't know if you care but perikoi is spelled perioikoi and helots were slaves so they probably wounldn't be in the military. Finally I am part Greek so if you want some help I would be happy to oblige.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='April and The Phantom' timestamp='1344738401' post='6004611']
Aha, I saw your user icon and thought this thread was going to be "It is time for the Rebirth of the Orechalcos"
Anyway, I have a few suggestions on for these cards.
1. You use the exact same effect several times on many different cards. This would be fine, except some of the effects(like Spartan king) are missing key clauses that are on the other cards. I would recommend copy/pasting the effects onto all of the cards and only changing the max amount of counters, since that's the only thing that really changes.
2. I feel like that effect you're using is a bit overpowered. So let me get this straight: when your monsters are summoned, they get 5 counters straightaway. Now, whenever they would normally be destroyed, you can remove one of these counters instead, AND you have the ability to replenish these counters free of charge with a spell card. In the mean time, they came pummel you with their unfaltering ATK power(which of course they don't need, since they can attack from DEF mode, thus freeing your from the worry of Battle Damage). I think it would be a lot more fitting for your cards if they had relatively low ATK and DEF on the higher side. That would be more fitting for your effect, and it would be a lot less detrimental for your opponent. You could also consider not having any monster with 4 or more counters. Because honestly, the cards still destroy your Opponent's monster, which means you would have to go through 4 3000 ATK or more monsters just to kill your one monster. If that really is exactly what you had in mind, I retract my statement.
3. Laws of Lycurgus seems a little broken to me. It's been a while since I've actually played this game, but if I remember correctly, you can't have more than a certain number of cards in your hand. So if you drew it with 6 other cards in your hand, you would have a total of 10, and then would have to play 3(?) else discard most of the cards. If that's your intention, never mind this. But honestly, it would be a lot easier to have an effect that made your draw until you had a specific number of cards.
4. I think you need to change the level of your Spartan King. It's a 3000 ATK, 4-star monster that can only be summoned when you have another 4-star monster on the field. Yeeeeeaaah, I dunno about that.
5. You probably don't need me to tell you this, but you could definitely use some better art. White background = absolute NO in every case. At worst, you can sacrifice 100% accuracy for a Spartan-ish looking warrior drawing/painting/etc on dA. You might know enough about this stuff to tell the difference immediately, but not everyone else knows enough to notice those flaws.

And then there is some OCG stuff, which I'll help fix if no-one else does.
[/quote]

In response to your issue 1: I will take a look, I thought I went over all of the issues like that and fixed them but It is certainly possible that I could have missed stuff.

Response to issue 2: No, they do not get 5 counters, each one gets a specific amount and no more. Most are just 1 counter only the Spartan Hoplites and Spartan King has 3 or more. Yes I can remove one counter to stop them from being destroyed however I felt that the replenisment of the counters would have been only one, I should have specified that.

Response to issue 3: I suppose the drawing of cards in this manner could be broken however I tried to level it out by forcing you to discard two of the cards you drew and making it where you can't draw the next turn. I could up it to the next two turns like with reckless greed.

Response to issue 4: Spartan King can only be summoned if you have out a Spartan Hoplite, which is why I made the guy a 4 star.

Response to issue 5: Yeah, I know I hate white backgrounds just as much as the next guy, it is just very hard to find good pictures of hoplites alone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='ClearAngel' timestamp='1344739659' post='6004630']
Hello I will now review your cards.
[color=#0000CD]Sparta: [/color][color=#0000CD]A good and balanced card from my knowledge, but the counters makes it slightly OP'ed as it can make your "Spartan Captain", "Spartan King", and "Spartan Hopilite" almost invincible.[/color]
[color=#0000CD]Next 2 Traps: There should be a cost.[/color]
[color=#0000CD]Diarchy: Way OP'd because as soon as you get that card and "Spartan Hopilite" on the field you have a huge attacking force that is almost invincible.[/color]
[color=#0000CD]Glorous Defeat: Balanced and perfect[/color]
[color=#0000CD]Suit Up: Good card cause it gets rid of the defense position effect and lessen's overpoweredness of it, but still it increases the attack of an already powerful archtype[/color]
[color=#0000CD]Helots: Balanced and perfect[/color]
[color=#0000CD]Musician: It's fine, but again it powers up an already powerful archtype[/color]
[color=#0000CD]2 "Perikoi" and 3 "Spartans": These are way OP'ed. First off "Spartan King" is way to easy to bring out and "Spartan Hopilite" needs to be a bit harder to bring out so "Spartan King" is not as easy to bring out. Finally lower all the DEF stats of these monsters and you'll be fine.[/color]
[color=#0000CD]Council: Way to powerful you can still cause a huge amount of damage to your opponent even if they are only taking half damage. [/color]
[color=#0000CD]Laws: Your basically doubling your hand so it should be more like "Graceful Charity".[/color]
[color=#0000CD]Agoge: To powerful as these cards already way to hard to destroy in battle.[/color]
There is my review you can ask the opinoins of someone else even though I think these reviews are pretty good. A good idea and archtype but its just a bit overpowered. Also I don't know if you care but perikoi is spelled perioikoi and helots were slaves so they probably wounldn't be in the military. Finally I am part Greek so if you want some help I would be happy to oblige.
[/quote]

Response to card number 1: as I said in my last quote, I entended to make it replenish one counter not multiple.
Response to next cards 2: I can understand that, I will change it to discard a card.
Response to card number 4: I plan on changing the effect of King so it should be less broken.
Response to card number 6: I could change it however I would need some guidance on that regard because I have no idea how I would change it.
Response to card number 8: Hmm, I figure that if I remove the card suit up as an attack booster I could keep him as is but it might still be a bit of an issue.
Response to Spartans and Perikoi: I can take a look at them but they can still be destroyed by cards like Dark Hole and such, plus they are not immune to traps so I thought it wouldn't be a problem. Again I plan on changing the effects of Spartan Hoplite and Spartan King to try and make them more manageable for other people.
Response to council: I will try and edit that though I am not sure how I should.
Response to Laws: I plan on changing that, it definitely needs work.
Response to Agoge: I was thinking I could change that to 'if destroyed by battle'. Since they are so hard to kill by battle anyways I figured that it would be a card that could be less active due to the requirements.

[quote name='ClearAngel' timestamp='1344740357' post='6004647']
Awww.... I think he ignored me. :(
[/quote]

I didn't ignore you :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='Soldier of Glory' timestamp='1344740063' post='6004638']
In response to your issue 1: I will take a look, I thought I went over all of the issues like that and fixed them but It is certainly possible that I could have missed stuff.

Response to issue 2: No, they do not get 5 counters, each one gets a specific amount and no more. Most are just 1 counter only the Spartan Hoplites and Spartan King has 3 or more. Yes I can remove one counter to stop them from being destroyed however I felt that the replenisment of the counters would have been only one, I should have specified that.

Response to issue 3: I suppose the drawing of cards in this manner could be broken however I tried to level it out by forcing you to discard two of the cards you drew and making it where you can't draw the next turn. I could up it to the next two turns like with reckless greed.

Response to issue 4: Spartan King can only be summoned if you have out a Spartan Hoplite, which is why I made the guy a 4 star.

Response to issue 5: Yeah, I know I hate white backgrounds just as much as the next guy, it is just very hard to find good pictures of hoplites alone.
[/quote]
Eheh, slight miss-wording in the second issue. I think you know what I mean, though. With 3000 ATK and the ability to regenerate a counter per turn(which is the effect in your card), your cards are overpowered. Especially the Spartan King. He has:
a. the most opportunities to not be destroyed of any of your monsters
b. the highest ATK, and therefore is less likely to even encounter a monster being able to destroy it
c. a very low summoning condition for a 3000 ATK monster. You definitely should increase its summoning cost. Right now, it is way too easy to get on the Field.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think that is a good start I might be able to help with some guidance. Also could I have a link to the "Tyrant" cards you made because I would like to see them to make sure any of their effects aren't to god-like because of these cards. Also you didn't answer my question in that last paragraph there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='April and The Phantom' timestamp='1344741183' post='6004669']
Eheh, slight miss-wording in the second issue. I think you know what I mean, though. With 3000 ATK and the ability to regenerate a counter per turn(which is the effect in your card), your cards are overpowered. Especially the Spartan King. He has:
a. the most opportunities to not be destroyed of any of your monsters
b. the highest ATK, and therefore is less likely to even encounter a monster being able to destroy it
c. a very low summoning condition for a 3000 ATK monster. You definitely should increase its summoning cost. Right now, it is way too easy to get on the Field.
[/quote]

I will definitely do that, I am in the process of editing the cards right now, trying to make them more viable.

[quote name='ClearAngel' timestamp='1344741411' post='6004671']
I think that is a good start I might be able to help with some guidance. Also could I have a link to the "Tyrant" cards you made because I would like to see them to make sure any of their effects aren't to god-like because of these cards. Also you didn't answer my question in that last paragraph there.
[/quote]

Sure here it is. Also these are long since done and edited, I am using these cards in the RP we are doing. Oh... I was not sure if the spelling was correct on that but I will change that thank you. Also yes I know full well that the Helots were slaves but they also fought in the Spartan ranks, in fact the Helots, when the Spartans were loosing a battle 6000 Helots came into the fray and helped the Spartans win. Despite being "slaves" they still had a very good working relationship with the Spartans. Again like I said I am a Laconophile, so anything related to the Spartans or their society I just love to learn about.
[url="http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/279136-tyrannical-rule/"]http://forum.yugiohc...yrannical-rule/[/url]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='April and The Phantom' timestamp='1344753494' post='6004831']
I think you did a good job on balancing them. You still have artwork that isn't so great and quite a bit of OCG to correct, but what you've created so far is pretty damn good. The one problem I see with balance is that you could probably make your Hoplite a 5/6 Level monster. Although, the counters might make up for that.
[/quote]

Hmm, I will take a look at that on the hoplites, I am a little confused here, what exactly is the OCG that is incorrect, the only one that I know of was the Spartan Skiritai, of which I just need to move a sentence around.

I changed the pictures of Archers and Javelineers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...