Roaring Serpents

[Instinct]

Been meaning to ask for feedback on these, I made these for a contest asking for Dragon support, which I interpreted as just dealing with Dragons in general. I haven't used the card maker in ~3 years, but I'm still interested in any c&c. Thanks

[spoiler=Click to View]

 

[Dragon/Effect] ATK: 2100 DEF: 900

You can Special Summon this card (from your hand) by banishing 1 "Vessel" monster from your hand, field, or Graveyard. You can only control up to 3 "Roaring Serpent" monsters. If this card attacks, your opponent cannot activate any Traps until the end of the Damage Step. During the Damage Step, if this attacking card destroys an opponent's monster by battle: It can make a second attack in a row.

 

 

[Dragon/Effect] ATK: 2300 DEF: 700

You can Special Summon this card (from your hand) by banishing 1 "Vessel" monster from your hand, field, or Graveyard. You can only control up to 3 "Roaring Serpent" monsters. This card's Special Summon cannot be negated. When Special Summoned, cards and effects cannot be activated. While your Life Points are higher than your opponent's, this card cannot attack directly.

 

 

[Dragon/Effect] ATK: 2200 DEF: 800

You can Special Summon this card (from your hand) by banishing 1 "Vessel" monster from your hand, field, or Graveyard. You can only control up to 3 "Roaring Serpent" monsters. This card cannot be targeted or destroyed by card effects during your opponent's turn. When this card leaves the field, you can target 1 monster on your opponent's field; return that target to the hand.

 

 

[Dragon/Effect] ATK: 2000 DEF: 1000

You can Special Summon this card (from your hand) by banishing 1 "Vessel" monster from your hand, field, or Graveyard. You can only control up to 3 "Roaring Serpent" monsters. If this card is Special Summoned successfully while you control another "Roaring Serpent" monster: You and your opponent cannot activate or Set any Spells or Traps until your next turn.

 

 

[Spellcaster/Tuner] ATK: 1700 DEF: 1300

Cannot be used as a Synchro Material Monster, except for the Synchro Summon of a Dragon-Type monster. When this card is Normal or Special Summoned: You can send 1 "Vessel" monster from your Deck to the Graveyard.

 

 

[Insect/Tuner] ATK: 1500 DEF: 1500

Cannot be used as a Synchro Material Monster, except for the Synchro Summon of a Dragon-Type monster. Once per turn, during the End Phase, if this card is currently banished, and was banished this turn: You can return this card to the top or bottom of your Deck.

 

 

[Fiend/Tuner] ATK: 1600 DEF: 1400

Cannot be used as a Synchro Material Monster, except for the Synchro Summon of a Dragon-Type monster. When this card is destroyed and sent from your field to your Graveyard, if you have 4 or less cards in your hand, you can target 1 of your banished "Vessel" monsters: Return that target to your hand.

 

 

[Beast/Tuner] ATK: 1800 DEF: 1200

Cannot be used as a Synchro Material Monster, except for the Synchro Summon of a Dragon-Type monster. You can Special Summon this card (from your hand) by banishing 1 "Vessel" monster from your Graveyard. This card cannot attack the turn it is Special Summoned.

 

 

[Dragon/Xyz/Effect] ATK: 3000 DEF: 1000

3 Level 5 monsters
Once per turn, you can negate the activation of a card effect that targets a Dragon-Type monster you control. If this card has a "Roaring Serpent" monster as an Xyz Material, it gains this effect.

 - Once per turn, during either player's turn, when your opponent activates a Spell/Trap Card: You can detach 1 Xyz material from this card; negate the activation, and if you do, destroy it.

 

 

[Dragon/Synchro/Effect] ATK: 1800 DEF: 3000

1 Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner Dragon-Type monsters
This card cannot attack. If you have 4 or more "Vessel" monsters in your Graveyard, your opponent cannot Special Summon monsters. If this card would be destroyed, you can destroy a face-up "Roaring Serpent" monster instead.

 

[/spoiler]

[AnUntrainedArmy]

I like this archetype. It is very balanced and the cards have great synergy, the artwork is pretty nice too.

 

The only OCG errors I saw was on Isolation and Elements.

 

On Isolation, make "You and your opponent cannot cannot play or Set any Spell or Trap Cards until your next turn" into "You and your opponent cannot cannot activate or Set any Spell or Trap Cards until your next turn"

 

On Elements, make "If this card has a "Roaring Serpent" monster as an Xyz Material, it gains this effect." into "If this card has a "Roaring Serpent" monster attached to it as an Xyz Material, it gains this effect:" (colon instead of period) Really nothing major, and other than that the OCG seems solid.

 

And maybe restrict the RS of the Sun to just Vessel tuners and Roaring Serpent non tuners.

 

9/10. Nicely done.

[Instinct]

Thanks, I'll get to fixing those. But for the colon part, I was thinking what you were thinking until I looked up similar effects on the CXyz's, and they use periods instead -_-  Like on Skypalace Babylon and Comics Hero Legend Arthur

 

 

I tried to make these seem playable in today's current gameplay, so the effects might not be too groundbreaking. And I prefer borrowing art from the same artists when making cards so it looks more consistent. :)

[Amanea]

ROARING SERPENT OF WRATH

BALANCE   Similarly to its cousin Serpents, it has an extremely spam-able Summoning condition, which makes utility of the Graveyard and hand. Realistically, a deck like this would run a fair balance between Vessels and Serpents, so the Summoning contingencies of the Serpents are virtually nonexistent. There's a very slim chance of the player not drawing at least 1 of the 8 to 12 Vessels and 1 of the 8 to 12 Serpents in an opening hand. Its two additional, free effects make me wish that you would have incorporated some form of balance into the Summoning condition, as the three monster limit really is not an imposing factor, as I look toward the Xyz Monster.

FLAVOR   I do like how you gave it a vicious effect to fit its name, picture, and Attribute. I'm glad to see a different take on FIRE-Attribute monsters, opposed to the traditional effect damage. It's interesting to see more of a draconic take on these Serpents. If you weren't going for Dragon support, I'd have assumed them to be Reptiles, just by the names. For the archetype as a whole, it would be interesting to see a full circle of Attributes.

UTILITY   It can make quick use of any Vessel that happens to be anywhere in reach, bar the Banished Zone, which would make him the most important card in the archetype if not for this ability belonging to each of the Serpents. Shutting out Traps during the Battle Phase really doesn't do too much in this format, as Dimensional Prison has dwindled in the midst of Breakthrough Skill, Fiendish Chain, and Bottomless Trap Hole. Its capability to attack twice is great for breaking through a weakened opponent, too. Finally, along with the rest of the Serpents, it would make for a sickening Rank 5 deck. As a Dragon, he does receive immense support from Red-Eyes Darkness Metal Dragon and kin.

FIXES   Change the Summoning condition to something a bit more partial. I don't like its ability to pop out of nowhere just by banishing some previous Synchro fodder from the Graveyard. A very minor OCG correction: "Trap Cards" is just "Traps" now. And, I may be wrong on this one, but I believe that it is just, "This card can make a second attack." Other than that, the additional effects should be counterbalanced by the minus one from the hand or field. Alternatively, if you want to keep a consistent Summoning condition throughout the archetype which allows for banishing from the Graveyard, then I would change his second effect to a more neutral effect, one which gives the player a choice rather than a clearly beneficial effect tagged with a condition.

 

ROARING SERPENT OF DESOLATION

BALANCE   I do see how you've replaced a secondary benefit with a practical cost to balance out his loose Summoning condition. However, if you do want to keep a Summoning condition which excludes banishing from the Graveyard as an option consistent throughout the archetype, then his inability to attack directly when most likely needed might make him less desirable than Wrath. (Although, I would recommend just toning down Wrath.)

FLAVOR   I like how you've given him protection against Solemn Warning and the less frequent Laggia. Of course, that means that such a card, if present, will be saved for another monster. I don't see too much of a consistency between the name and the effect on this one.... I mean, the barren desert that he's slithering through sure fits it. At first, I thought that this was LIGHT-Attribute. Maybe that could be changed to better fit the theme of elemental counterparts (although that would likely mean changing Beetle).

UTILITY   He doesn't cooperate too much with the archetype, similarly to Wrath, yet he does boast some decent self-sufficiency. Again, he would most likely be run in a Rank 5 deck.

FIXES   There aren't any structural fixes to be made here. He's well rounded out between costs, conditions, and protection.

 

ROARING SERPENT OF FEAR

BALANCE   Like Wrath, he has more benefits than potential drawbacks. He can be easily Summoned, he has a considerable 2200 ATK, he can bounce a card upon destruction, and he has immunity to targeting card effects during your opponent's turn - all for the cost of banishing one of potentially 12 monsters in your deck. Even then, it might not result in a minus one upon Summon because said monster can be banished from the Graveyard (not to mention recycled afterwards).

FLAVOR   At first I wondered, "What is that thing on his nose?" And, well, actually, I'm still wondering what that thing on his nose is....Anyways, I really love the picture. The concept fits nicely together with the idea of bouncing monsters, too. Lots of synergy here. As far as the effect, I like how you incorporated the resistance to targeting cards to last only through the opponent's turn, meaning that Zenmaines and the occasional Traps can still plague your strategy (even though that's not a true counterbalance).

UTILITY   If I were to make a deck out of these monsters, I would definitely run this one at three. There's really no reason not to, which is a potential flaw. As it is, it is likely to stay on the field long enough for the player to easily Xyz Summon into Volcasaurus, Tiras, and others.

FIXES   Firstly, I would consider replacing the immunity with something more ingrained with the idea of fear. To keep the consistency of two added effects, it would be interesting to see an effect which prevents the opponent from attacking your weaker monsters, or attacking at all, given the right conditions. Regardless, at least one of the effects either needs to be toned down or given a heavier counterbalance.

 

ROARING SERPENT OF ISOLATION

BALANCE   A walking, omnipresent Cold Wave is surprisingly balanced by its own nature. Considering the ease of Summoning throughout the archetype, the immunity of Fear, and the unstoppable Summon of Desolation, I see that the condition is shrugged off a bit. 2000 ATK is hardly noticeable when there are no major threats such that the difference between 2000 ATK and 2300 ATK would prove effective, save Zenmaines, so that's not a huge counterweight either. Not that it matters because, as mentioned earlier, the ubiquity of the effect potentially renders itself useless (not against Prophecy!)

FLAVOR   The name doesn't click in my little brain.... Oh, well. I like everything else about it - the artwork, the lower ATK appropriate both to the effect and the general nature of WATER monsters. The Cold Wave effect is very interesting, too. I always thought that had potential if it were made into in impartial effect. Well done!

UTILITY   I'd run this at two due to the more dependent effect, even though it has massive potential if triggered. It really has nothing else much going for it besides to super-shutdown (and rightly so).

FIXES   I'd suggest lowering the ATK even a bit more, just because of that effect. Also, just a grammatical thing - you repeat "cannot". As far as OCG, again, it's just "Traps", not "Trap Cards".

 

I'll post a review for the Vessels and the Extra Deck monsters later, but it's pretty late right now. So far, it's a very powerful set, perhaps too powerful, and I can just suggest toning things down a little.