~BS~ does a re-write of GX [Episode 3 available]

[~British Soul~]

Now before you gun down my throats, Armz read the first episode and he enjoyed it.

 

 

Like Armz did with his re-write, I also decided to replace Jaden as the main character and there may be a couple of made up episodes along the way (in fact I've already written a made-up episode).

 

[spoiler=Episode #1: Enter BS, DA's Hipster]

It's a seemingly quiet monday morning on the streets of Domino, the birds are singing, singing that they are happy to be ali- *shot* but a random gunshot killed one of the birds and the rest flew away. Anyway, the camera pans down and a shadowy figure is seen running past the locals, his name is ~BS~ and he checked his watch wondering how the heck he could be late for his entrance exam.

*Flashback*
"Why can't I sleep?" BS said half asleep, knocking his bedside table, unfortunately his alarm clock fell into his hands and to make matters worse he tunred his body towards the wall trying to get comfy, but he smashed his alarm clock against the wall by accident and noone noticed until the morning when BS got annoyed that his alarm clock got smashed during the night.
*Flashback over*

"I can't believe I smashed my alarm clock in my sleep, the night before the entrance exam." BS spoke out loud, because main characters speaking out loud is their talking in their heads as he made a sharp turn right. Not looking where he was going, BS was unable to notice a bulky fella walking in the oppposite direction until it was too laaatteee.... BUMP.

BS got up, picked up his cards and tried to make up some story about chasing some rare butterfly, but the mystery man, who introduced himself as Joker X knew BS was lying and randomly gave him a card and said. "Someting tells me that this belongs with you." BS thanked Joker X and checked his watch again and found he was super late for his exams and decides to zip faster than the flash which isn't humanly possible. (Basically he hopped on his invisible bicycle to get there.)

At the testing place we see 2 attractive young ladies wearing yellow uniforms who had the registers to register the students who were 'on time'. The guy wearing a suit and sunglasses who isn't a member of KaibaCorp despite- *Ahem* wanting to join KaibaCorp, anyway he went up to them checked his watch which everyone is doing because the big clocks around the city stopped last night and said to them "Well i think were done here ladies, it doesn't look like no other important charcters are going to turn up--"

Before he could ask them if they wanted to sleep with him, the main character of the story shouted "Wait!" as he sprinted up the metaphorical hill "the name's BS, British Soul." Unfortunately for him though, a dog had followed him and wanted to bite the hell out of him for no reason.
*Censored*"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"*censor ends*

BS enters the arena to find people playing children's card games to get into a school, which seems legit. There were all kinds of monsters attacking each other including Celtic Guardian and Kuriboh, of course this is because all the wannabe students didn't want to run  all that broken crap. Meanwhile the camera quickly focused on a Leghul attacking a guy with blue hair and glasses, his name was Syrus with an S not a C, because is parents wrote an S on the birth certificate by accident.
"Hehe that sounds so ironic." BS thought out loud again, with noone listening as usual. Somehow Syrus was able to win his duel and comes up to the stands where BS was sitting, because noone else wanted Syrus to sit next to them because he let a Leghul attack him.
"Hey dude, i see you got attacked by a Leghul, that's so lame." BS said trying not to laugh. "Yea tell me about it, how did you do in the written test?" Syrus asked curious to see if BS done worse than him. "Despite arriving late i still managed to pass because I'm such a badass." At the sound of the word badass, a dustball rolled across the room.

Anyway at another arena we see the nerd of the series Bastion dueling a teacher with 2 old school defensive monsters.
Bastion LP: 3200 Teacher LP: 1900
"Ok newbie multiple choice, you're up against 2 big walls, what do you do? do you A. Throw in the hypothetical towel, B. Beg for mercy, or C. Run home to your momma."
"If this was a generic British quiz show, there'd be a 4th option." Bastion replied trying to gain EGO points which sadly failed, "So I'll go with D. none of the above." The trap card that Bastion had conveniently placed was Ring of Destruction, but before some unintelligent fool can shout 'but that card is banned' the camera pans to a sign saying this series follows no banlist, the unitelligent fool shouts "Oh come on!"

Anyway the ring of destruction had destroyed Bastion's Vorse Raider making both players lose 1900 LP which makes Bastion the winner, he takes a bow thinking its the theatre and walks off into the stands.
The camera turns to Chazz and his goon squad who does everything for him whilst Chazz works on his EGO, yea his signature card is Ego Boost and everyone knows it since he repeatedly tells everyone about it.

"So you're Bastion, the nerd of the series?" BS said trying to greet people in the best way he knows "you might be the second best here."
"Next to Chazz?" Bastion replied asking a question.
"Chazz? pffft silly Bastion, i'm talking about myself once i get to play my match of course."
"Wait, you haven't duelled yet?" Syrus butts in as BS nodded "I thought Bastion's duel was supposed to be the last."

Meanwhile at the teachers' VIP section, one of the teachers tries to make conversation with the rest, "I think we have a good flock this year."
"Of sheep?" one of the other teachers replied, whilst the first facepalms. Crowler is just sitting there all smug thinking about his poetry, when the guy with the suit and sunglasses from earlier comes up to him. "Mr. Crowler----"
"Did you just call me Mr. and more importantly you just made me lose my train of thought?" Crowler replied with a slightly annoyed tone.
"Sorry Mrs."
"You're obviously new here so i'll explain everything. I'm a PHd in duelling so i have---"
"Sorry Crowler we're very interested to hear your story and we'd like to let you finish, but what about the truant?" The first teacher interrupts because he didn't want to listen to Crowler correct every person who calls him Mr. or Mrs.
"My stories are always important and the truant can just go and die in a fire" Just as he said that, Crowler's phone conveniently rings *ring ring ring phone call, phone call*
"Hello?" Crowler asked
"Ah Crowler, it's me Shephard."
*THE FOLLOWING CONVERSATION HAS BEEN CUT DUE TO HOW BORING IT IS*

The intercoms all around the arena blurt out, COULD THE MAIN CHARACTER REPORT TO ARENA X FOR HIS BEATING. I REPEAT, COULD THE MAIN CHARACTER REPORT TO ARENA X FOR HIS BEATING. "For his beating?" Syrus wondered as BS ran down to arena X which had a shed load of torture devices but unfortunately they were confiscated by the police just yesterday, aww it would've been so cool to see them too.

At Arena X, the 2 attactive young ladies attached Crowler's Duel Vest, BS elevated to the arena from the underground.
"So, you're the truant? Shame you don't look nothing like a Slaking" Crowler says trying to sound funny, but 'Crowler's Smartness didn't go over well here...' A few minutes of dialogue later.

= WARNING: THE FOLLOWING DUEL CONTAINS CUSTOM CARDS =

"DUEL!" Both players shouted in unison as they drew 5 cards from their deck. As the main character BS gains priority and goes first.
"I summon Electric Rodent Pi-Ka in attack mode!" (ATK: 1100) "I'll then place 1 card face down and end my turn."

Crowler draws a card from his deck and in the tradition of GX his deck was stacked so that he would have the cards he wants in his hand.
"Well then, you Non-pokemon, you think you can waltz in and use cards that blatantly look like pokemon?" BS was not amused by Crowler's comment as Crowler continued "I'll use Confiscation, by paying 1000 LP i'll send 1 card from your Hand to the Graveyard."

The unintelligent fool from earlier said nothing having learned from his outburst earlier. Anyways BS's Hand showed itself to Crowler "Ah, I remember some of these from when I first started this game, I'll send Monster Reborn to the Graveyard." BS sent monster reborn to the graveyard awaiting Crowler's next move.

Crowler LP: 3000/BS LP: 4000

"I'll then place 2 cards face-down and then i'll activate Heavy Storm." Just before the strong hurricane destroyed all Spell and Traps, but BS interrupted.

"Hold it, i'll chain my U-Turn card, dealing 500 damage to you and banishing Pi-Ka till next turn." (Crowler LP: 2500)
"You idiot, why would you banish your own monster?" Crowler asked not knowing what BS was planning, as Heavy Storm blew away Crowler's facedowns which were both Statues of the Wickeds.
"Now i'll release my 2 tokens to summon Ancient Gear Golem!"

A huge mechanical Behemoth rose from the ground, in this series Ancient Gear Golem was a rare and legendary card. "Now my legendary Golem attack him directly, with Mechanized Melee!"

BS took the attack head on and with his main character resilience, he was still standing (BS LP: 1000)
"I'll then end my turn."

As BS's turn began, Pi-Ka returned to the battlefield before BS drew a card from his deck. "Firstly, I'll activate the PC Storage System Magic card, which shuffles my hand into my deck and re-draw the same amount." BS shuffled his 4 cards back into the deck in order to gain 4 new cards. "Then I'll play my Bill card which allows me to draw 2 cards."
Unfortunately the unintelligent fool had to shout out, "Stop playing banned cards!" *Gunshot* but he was shot by a guy wearing a blue uniform with dark blue hair, his name shall remain a mystery for now.

"Now by tributing Pi-Ka, I can summon Lightning Hipster Rai-Chu." BS smirked now that he has his resident hipster wearing a top hat on the field. (ATK: 2500) Crowler couldn't help but laugh though since BS's monster was still weaker than his golem. "Time for something situational, I equip Rai-Chu with the Hipster Top Hat Magic card." Rai-Chu put his hand out to receive a top hat with a metal rim ready to use it.
"Now Rai-Chu attack Ancient Gear Golem with Oddjob Assassination!" As Rai-Chu ran towards Ancient Gear Golem preparing to throw his top hat at it, Crowler was laughing even more though.
"Are you deliberately trying to kill yourself?" Crowler asked whilst sniggering, but BS knew what he was doing.

"Wow Crowler, just wow. I know what I'm doing. Thanks to Hipster Top Hat's effect when Rai-Chu attacks your monster is instantly destroyed, then by sending it to the graveyard, Rai-Chu gets to attack again." Rai-Chu threw his Metal-rimmed top hat at Ancient Gear Golem, carving it in 2, destroying it, and after discarding the top hat, Rai-Chu directed an electric attack towards Crowler (Crowler LP: 0)
With Crowler's LP at 0, everyone except Chazz and his goon squad applauded BS for his victory, accepting him into the DA.

[/spoiler]

 

[spoiler=Episode #2: Boss Fight, Chazz]

Previously on the Jaden-free GX... we forgot to explain that Jaden got ret-gonned and replaced with BS, and BS had to duel Crowler as a punishment for arriving late, which again wasn't explained because of that boring conversation before their duel.

The intercom blurted out to everyone in the room: "Could the successful applicants report outside for their helicopter ride to their boarding school for the next 3 years. Everyone who failed, run home crying to your mommas because you lost a children's card game."

So, BS and every other first year boarded the helicopter and as for the second and third year students who came to spectate, they stepped on their own personal teleporters to duel academy because they're standard issue for all non-first year students and teachers.

One helicopter ride later everyone had arived at duel academy safe and sound, noone puked in the sea or anything, but that would've been more interesting.
Anyway the newbies were escorted to the main hall and were given free blazers because their parents aren't around to pay for them and the governors knew that the new students didn't want to pay for school stuff with their own money because they knew that the students would rather spend their money on trading cards. The blazers were all different colours to socially divide everyone, plus they're stainless because the electricity company wouldn't allow them to have washing machines because they're on a remote island with a volcano.

On the big screen Chancellor Shephard introduced himself to the new students and told them that he would introduce himself in person but he explained that he was far too important.

Outside, we find BS and Syrus watching Twitch Plays Pokemon on their PDAs which are standard issue for everyone, however since they're on a remote island, there's no signal outside the premises... whoops.

The resident nerd, Bastion tells the 2 friends, (Yeah they were forced to kiss on the helicopter and became friends) he ended up in Ra Yellow, unfortunately noone cared. BS says that he ended up in the Slifer Red dorm because despite doing amazing on the written test that he was late for, since Crowler apparently hates his guts, he put BS in Red out of spite, Bastion then used his nerd powers to point out where the Red dorm is depsite being a first year himself.

BS and Syrus arrive at the red dorm which is no bigger than a garden shed, and inside their room they find a 3-man bed. BS counts 2 people and deicde to check if there's a 3rd person residing here that they were unaware of. Turns out they have a pet human on a leash eating eucalyptus leaves, his name tag read Chumley, and he was also wearing a red uniform.

A few hours later it was dinner time, at the Blue dorm, there was a social gathering hosted by Crowler. One of the Blues said to another. "I got into a fight with a Slifer Red and I broke his neck, killing him." Cheers are heard not long after.
At the Yellow dorm, there was a dinner party, and to start off the conversations, a yellow guy said. "I helped an Obelisk beat up a Slifer." More cheers were heard.

Meanwhile at the Slifer dorm, there was a dinner party hosted by... a cat, yes a cat. The governors thought that the red dorm didn't deserve a headteacher so they gave them a cat who was a terrible cook. Luckily for BS, he and Syrus had a KFC that he picked up just before the helicopter ride.

Inside their dorm room,
*ring ring ring phone call, phone call* BS's PDA went off and it was Chazz, apparently Chazz got his PDA number from the Slifer Red he killed earlier. Anyway Chazz challenged BS to an ante duel in which the loser forks over their rarest card and that he couldn't refuse, otherwise he'd come over to *CENSORED*.

So BS and Syrus arrived at the arena, Syrus only came because he was the obligatory sidekick and all, and what was their greeting?

"Prepare for trouble!" (Goon 1)
"Make it double!" (Goon 2)
"To protect the world from devestation!" (Goon 1)
"To unite all peoples within our nation!" (Goon 2)
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!" (Goon 1)
"To extend our reach to the stars above!" (Goon 2)
"Jesse!" (Goon 1)
"James!" (Goon 2)
"Team Chazz blast off at the speed of light!" (Goon 1)
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!" (Goon 2)

BS and Syrus randomly shout "It's Team Rocket!" as Chazz applauds his two goons for their performance and forces BS onto the arena.

= WARNING: THE FOLLOWING DUEL CONTAINS CUSTOM CARDS =

"DUEL!" Both players shouted in unison as they drew 5 cards from their deck. Because Chazz is richer than the main character, Chazz gets to go first.

"First of all, I'll summon my Disabled Zombie in defence mode." (DEF: 1600) Because of Disabled Zombie's effect he cannot be summoned in attack mode and cannot attack. "I'll then place 1 card face down and end my turn."

BS draws for his turn and because of GX stacking his ace card ended up in his first hand. "Ok Chazz-ball, by sending 1 Electric Rodent Pi-Ka from my hand to the grave, I can Special Summon Lightning Hipster Rai-Chu!" (ATK: 2500) Chazz smirked because BS fell into his trap.

"I knew you'd do that, because now I activate my Snag Ball trap card, so by sending my Disabled Zombie to a home, I take control of your Hipster." Chazz laughs as he now becomes the rich hipster, as BS looks at his hand. "Ok Chazz, I'll summon my Gift Giving Angel and since it is the only card I control, I get to draw 1 card from my deck." (ATK: 1000) BS picks up a card from his deck which turns out to be the card that Joker X gave him, then he passes the turn over to Chazz.

As Chazz drew for his turn, he was looking totally smug like a Smugleaf being chosen as a trainers' starter pokemon. "First of all, I'll summon Abused Child Ruby." (ATK: 1300) "Then Rai-Chu attacks your monster with Hipster Thunderbolt."

"Nice try Chazz, I discard this blank card and because it is encrypted with japanese text, I get to use whatever effect I like." Another unintelligent fool walks in to shout, "But that's cheating!" but he was shot by one of the Team Chazz duo and conveniently warps out of the room.
Also everyone else in the room saw the card as Kuriboh, so BS takes no damage but his monster dies.

"Now Ruby attack him directly, and thanks to his ability because he was shoved in a moving truck, by discarding 1 card his attack is doubled." (BS LP: 1400)

During BS's turn he summons Skull Servant, and places 1 card face down, then Chazz's turn starts.
"Hahahaha, this duel is over BS. Rai-Chu attack Skull Servant with Hipster Thunderbolt!"
"Oh really Chazz, I activate Enemy Controller, so by tributing my Skull Servant, I'll have my Rai-Chu back." So by shouting the following code: Left, Right, A, B, BS gets Rai-Chu back.

"Fine, I'll activate Generic Blast, which basically kills your monster, then by tributing Ruby, I summon Ruby's Abusive Mother." (ATK: 1900) "By the way you lose 1000 Life Points because I tributed Ruby to summon her, then I'll end my turn." (BS LP: 400)

Before BS could start his turn (Oh he drew Monster Reborn by the way), an attractive blonde girl wearing blue walked in to warn everyone that securities were on their way because someone tripped the tripwire on their way in *cough*BS and Syrus*cough*. Anyways Chazz and his goons borrowed someone else's personal teleporter to teleport themselves back to their dorm, and the Blonde girl whose name was Alexis dragged the boys out of the arena.

BS explains that he was going to win, but Alexis didn't believe him, but BS told them how his turn would've panned out. Reborn into Rai-Chu -> Banish Pi-Ka to kill Ruby's Mother -> Summon Queen's Knight and attack with both monsters for the win.

Alexis was about to give BS her number when Syrus told them that the episode was about to end, then BS argued, "What is the writer going to do, cut us off?" and just like in The Sopranos the screen went black just as BS said that.

[/spoiler]

 

[spoiler=Episode #3: Team Alexis Appears]

It's the first class of the semester and Crowler being the troll that he is, decided to start with the basics. This was so boring that BS was sleeping, anyways Alexis stood up to explain every card type in the bloody game (Even those that didn't exist in GX).

Crowler appluads the knowledge of his Obelisk student and then singles out Syrus and asks what a Field Spell is. Syrus stands up and because he had been following the main character he gains main character confidence. "Field Spells change the scenery of the battlefield and do different things, duh." Everyone who isn't a red laugh at the dumb answer and Crowler tells Syrus to sit down only to have a whoopie cushion go off, and everyone laughs again.

BS stands up and says "Look everyone, Crowler wet himself." Everyone laughs at Crowler, then BS says "Oh and by the way Dr. Kettle, Pot called he told me to tell you that you're black." Everyone laughed again as BS's Coolness went over great. Crowler, now a laughing stock stormed out to do some poetry.

A substitute teacher walks in he introduces himself as Lyman Banner, he says that his cat, the one from the red dorm had snuck out and as a punishment for his answer earlier, Syrus had to fetch is cat and give it to him and as a reward, Syrus gets a Mokey Mokey and he says as the Zelda treasure jingle plays, "I got a Mokey Mokey."

Meanwhile Crowler, blantantly annoyed at BS's outburst ealier decides to try and get BS kicked out for making him look like a laughing stock in front of the whole school. To do this, he wrote a fake love letter and to seal the deal, he puts on some lipstick and kisses the letter, confirming to the audience that Crowler is secretly a girl.

Anyways it is now Gym Class and the boys were awaiting the arrival of their instructor, obviously wondering whether she is hot and if they'll see her... *ahem* the instructor walks in and everyone gawked at her breasts saying "WOW, SHE'S HOT!"

Huffing and puffing Syrus runs into the changing rooms late because he was watching Twitch Plays Pokemon as usual, but secretly he wasn't allowed to see the Gym Instructors breasts. He notices BS's shoes in his locker and finds a letter-shaped plot device.

Later at the red dorm, BS had just come back from using the outside shower just like the one in Duelist Kingdom that Tea used. He asks his pet human Chumley where Syrus is, and Chumley says "Don't tell me you forgot what the plot for this episode was did you?" and shows BS a flashback.

*Flashback*
Syrus opens the letter to see what it reads and reads it out loud, because as we all know, main characters speaking out loud is their talking in their head.
"I love you more than I love card games. Come to the girls' dorm at midnight. love Alexis." Syrus screams as he has never received a love letter before and predictively, noone hears him scream.
*Flashback ends*

Meanwhile, Crowler is sneaking around with wire cutters, cuts the locks and explains his plan (in his head) all whilst listening to the Mission Impossible theme. "With my love letter, BS will walk in the girls' dorm so that Alexis can announce her love for him, but I'll take a photo of him trespassing and he'll be kicked out faster than a falcon punch."

On the waters, Syrus is happily rowing his boat that he got from the local hire-a-boat on the island, but they don't make any money because they usually don't see their boats again, and when Syrus docks, he finds an angry female welcoming committee who keeps Syrus as their pet human.

At the red dorm, BS was playing on his gameboy when,
*ring ring ring phone call, phone call* BS's PDA rings and the message read. "We're keeping your friend as our pet. If you want him back, come to the girls' dorm now!"

So BS is rowing towards the girl's dorm, he bumps into a feminine ninja who disappears before his eyes, and when he docked he sees Team Alexis, the female counterparts of Team Chazz.

"Prepare for trouble!" (Girl 1)
"And make it double!" (Girl 2)
"To infect the world with Devestation!" (Girl 1)
"To blight all people in every nation!" (Girl 2)
"To denounce the goodness of truth and love!" (Girl 1)
"To extend our wrath to the stars above!" (Girl 2)
"Cassidy!" (Girl 1)
"And Buffy of course!" (Girl 2)
"We're Team Alexis, circling Earth all day and all night!" (Girl 1)
"Surrender to us now or you will surely lose the fight!" (Girl 2)

BS couldn't help but stare at Team Alexis' breasts, but Alexis explains that she could have BS and Syrus expelled for trespassing unless he could beat her in a duel, in which BS instantly accepted.

= WARNING: THE FOLLOWING DUEL CONTAINS CUSTOM CARDS =

"DUEL!" Both players shouted in unison as they drew 5 cards from their deck. Out of all the duels in the series so far, this is the most dangerous and extreme since they are duelling on top of boats, and as an Obelisk, Alexis gets priority and goes first.

"I summon my Battle Mermaid, Sarah in Attack mode." (ATK: 1200) "Then I'll place 2 cards face-down and it's your move."

BS proceeds to draw for his turn, and for some reason he doesn't have any Spell/Trap destruction in his starting hand, yet he has won every duel thus far. "Ok jailbait, I summon Smugleaf Sir-Ivy." (ATK: 1300) "Then I'll use----"

However Alexis interrupted so she should make her play "Sorry to burst your bubble, but I activate my facedown Eisbahn which switches your monster to defence because I have a WATER monster." (DEF: 1100)
BS looked at his hand, and had an idea. "Change of plan, I activate the magic card Monster Evolution so by tributing Sir-Ivy, I can call out Total Defense Shogun!" (ATK: 1550 -> DEF: 2500)

Alexis points out that Total Defense Shogun goes to defense because it isn't WATER, but BS knew what he was doing. "Now attack her monster!" Alexis then goes to point out that Total Defense Shogun can't attack whilst in defence, but BS explains Total Defense Shoguns effect, Alexis goes oh crap before activating The Mermaids' Hot Sirens which redirects the attack to her lifepoints, but she gets to retalliate with her monster. (Alexis LP: 2450) (BS LP: 2800) BS promptly ends his turn.

Alexis draws for her turn. "Now I'll summon Battle Mermaid, Cynthia." (ATK: 1500) "Then I'll activate Polymerization, which fuses my 2 monsters together to summon Battle Mermaid of the Storms, Valerie!" (ATK: 2500) Finally we get to see some extra deck action, and what a hot fusion monster she is, anyways...

Thanks to Valerie's effect Total Defense Shogun switches to attack mode and BS gets to draw a card, then Alexis gives Valerie Fusion Weapon - Trident, which gives 1500 ATK and allows Alexis to draw a card if it kills a monster in battle. (ATK: 2500 -> 4000) "Now Valerie, destroy his monster!" (BS LP: 350) Alexis draws a card and places 1 face-down to end her turn.

BS draws for his turn, and thanks to GX stacking he draws Heavy Storm which he uses to kill all of Alexis' Magic and Trap cards, but Alexis butts in. "Sorry, but I activate Card Bubble which protects Fusion Weapon - Trident."
Then BS proceeds to do the predictable main character move, discarding Pi-Ka to summon Rai-Chu, but before BS could use its effect, Alexis uses D.D. Crow to get rid of Pi-Ka before Rai-Chu could use it, fortunately BS had a backup plan anyway.

"Tsk Tsk Alexis, did you not watch my duel with Crowler? Because I give my Rai-Chu the Hipster Top Hat." Alexis goes oh crap again. "Rai-Chu destroy Valerie with Oddjob Assassination, and thanks to the Top Hats' effect, by getting rid of it, Rai-Chu can attack again." Rai-Chu threw his Metal-rimmed top hat at Valerie, carving her in 2, destroying her, and after discarding the top hat, Rai-Chu directed an electric attack towards Alexis. (Alexis LP: 0)

As promised, Syrus is freed and Alexis promises not to turn them in, but before Cassidy can argue against it, BS interrupts her by saying. "The episode is over so, Lazy Technique - Leave Without Caring." BS and Syrus walk away... without caring.

[/spoiler]

 

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it.

 

[Toffee.]

I forgot to ask this the first time I read this; Did you draw inspiration from my old train-wreck of a fic?

[~British Soul~]

I did draw a little bit of inspiration from yours, yeah. Though I wanted to put my little spin on the story of GX, and venting some of my originality into it.

 

What will get awks later though is when a certain character is introduced. (I think you can guess which one I'm on about)

[Toffee.]

I did draw a little bit of inspiration from yours, yeah. Though I wanted to put my little spin on the story of GX, and venting some of my originality into it.

GX was honestly a good series. Jaden was just a weird main character.
 

What will get awks later though is when a certain character is introduced. (I think you can guess which one I'm on about)

Alexis?

[~British Soul~]

GX was honestly a good series. Jaden was just a weird main character.

Yeah, Jaden wasn't the best main character in the world

 

Alexis?

Not exactly.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

I did draw a little bit of inspiration from yours, yeah. Though I wanted to put my little spin on the story of GX, and venting some of my originality into it.

 

What will get awks later though is when a certain character is introduced. (I think you can guess which one I'm on about)

 

Zane?

 

Anyway, just read this, which made me have a chuckle in places. However will say dunno if Armz was just giving it a look over for you or was meant to be beta'ing properly, but if there was the latter there was a ton of spelling errors at the start. I don't mean just putting in the wrong but similar word here and there, I mean blatant stuff like;

 

"Why can't I sleep?" BS said half asleep, knocking his bedside table, unfortunately his alarm clock fell into his hands and to make matters worse he tunred turned his body towards to the wall trying to get to get comfy, but he smashed his alarm clock against the wall by accident and noone noticed until the morning when BS got annoyed that his alarm clock got smashed during the night.

 

I think these got less frequent as it went on, but by then I'd kinda stopped bothering with giving this any serious critique and enjoying the ride I guess. Just infuriating even in a non-serious fic to see this kind of thing.

 

But yeah, was childishly amusing for what it is I guess.

[Mugendramon]

Some jokes you made here and there were funny, but if you wanted a satire the result is shit. Mentioning YCMembers for no reason was a killjoy of huge proportions.

 

That said the title on its own is worth a rep.

[~British Soul~]

Zane?

Noo...

The character I was talking about is also a card.

 

Anyway, just read this, which made me have a chuckle in places. However will say dunno if Armz was just giving it a look over for you or was meant to be beta'ing properly, but if there was the latter there was a ton of spelling errors at the start. I don't mean just putting in the wrong but similar word here and there, I mean blatant stuff like;

Armz was one of the beta readers, though I suppose I could've had more beta readers given that there were some grammatical errors.

Regarding the mistakes/errors, I really should've proof-read before posting because reading through the paragraph you quoted, the sentence(s) didn't make grammatical sense. I will proof-read the rest of the chapters I read in order to patch up the mistakes. (Just in case I did, because it happens from time to time)

 

I think these got less frequent as it went on, but by then I'd kinda stopped bothering with giving this any serious critique and enjoying the ride I guess. Just infuriating even in a non-serious fic to see this kind of thing.

But yeah, was childishly amusing for what it is I guess.

I know it's stupidly light-hearted n' junk, but I have tried my hand at serious fics from time to time, and most of the time I stop continuing mid-way through (Most likely because I'm not working to deadlines per se, and I should continue when I really have nothing to do), not to mention I would've spent more time working on each chapter.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Noo...

The character I was talking about is also a card.

 

Armz was one of the beta readers, though I suppose I could've had more beta readers given that there were some grammatical errors.

Regarding the mistakes/errors, I really should've proof-read before posting because reading through the paragraph you quoted, the sentence(s) didn't make grammatical sense. I will proof-read the rest of the chapters I read in order to patch up the mistakes. (Just in case I did, because it happens from time to time)

 

I know it's stupidly light-hearted n' junk, but I have tried my hand at serious fics from time to time, and most of the time I stop continuing mid-way through (Most likely because I'm not working to deadlines per se, and I should continue when I really have nothing to do), not to mention I would've spent more time working on each chapter.

 

Ah right... hmm...

 

I'd say... yeah, you should have, to be blunt :mellow: Just give it a once over just to get anything glaring like the aforementioned paragraph, and then because we all are blinded to the glaring sometimes (I sometimes catch things on like my 4th read through =/) get someone to beta. And whoever it is beta-reading get to be a bit more through in checking it. Having said that don't get too hung up and stuck on double-checking everything to the nth degree. I spent all of last week forgoing writing any new stuff and rereading all of my fic's 3rd arc for the 3rd time to triple check everything and amend anything, and it does get to a point where it can kill motivation and you get yourself stuck in a rut that I'm only just getting out of (although I have had IRL shit as well, so it was an okay time when I wouldn't have written productively anyway). Maybe it won't be so bad for you when chapters are shorter and more light-hearted, but just a word of warning.

 

Another word of warning; don't give yourself deadlines. Just work at your own pace when you feel in the mood. Seriously, treat it as a joy, not a job.

 

Well whatever works for you, and there's nothing wrong with something light hearted and cheery. There's only so much the worlds gonna end cuz card games people can take without wanting to top themselves, probably, and once I'd got through it I felt like I'd found this enjoyable enough for the most part :)

[~British Soul~]

Another word of warning; don't give yourself deadlines. Just work at your own pace when you feel in the mood. Seriously, treat it as a joy, not a job.

When I work on a project at my own pace, I do tend to become slack as the project goes on, as opposed to doing a project in the workplace. I should be more motivated when doing these things, but like you said this is meant to be a hobby, not a job.

 

After proof-reading, Episode 2 is available for you guys to read.

[Toffee.]

There's a Touhou reference in Chapter 2.... Somewhere....
That aside, Chazz' choice of cards was unusual.

[~British Soul~]

Yeah... he stole them from the Slifer that was killed prior to the meals.

 

Anyways, Episode 3 is now available for your viewing.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

I forgot this was here. Sorry.

 

Read Chapter 2 and 3. Enjoyed 2 very much, moreso than 3 to be honest. Made me chuckle more.

 

Team Rocket chanting needs to appear in every episode in some form.

 

Duels are not something I'm attempting to keep track off with the effects or anything, because it can't be done. Just reading through it as the rest of the story.

 

Loved the 'What are the writers gonna do, cut us off?', although it would have been better had it done the pre-amble (and more Top Gear reference) before and just cut off BS mid-sentance.

 

From a technical point of view (not that anyone cares about technical here), but if you're gonna do previously bit, do it consistently. And in highlighted/italics/something.

 

There's not much I can really give you, other than it does make me chuckle in its silliness.

[~British Soul~]

Loved the 'What are the writers gonna do, cut us off?', although it would have been better had it done the pre-amble (and more Top Gear reference) before and just cut off BS mid-sentance.

Glad you noticed the reference at the end of episode 2, and I thought it would've been better if he was cut off mid sentence just like what happened in that episode of Top Gear where Jeremy was talking about the anti-tank thingy.