My noob cards xD

[LadyYoungYugiohN0ob]

Here is my 1st deck ( still in process)  Also please keep in mind , that i will fix the description of some cards at a later date. its annoying to see almost every person post about that 1 main problem. thank you for your time

 

ok i fixed how to present my creations >.<  (( so far stopped at 7 when doing final fixes. ))

 

1.

Trap

Banish this card. For the rest of the Duel, your opponent loses 300 Life Points during each End Phase, for 5 turns. You can only use 'Red Eyes Curse' once per Duel.

 

2.

Monster  lv2

Earth

Common Plant type

Atk 0 / Def 2000

If this card is destroyed: Choose 2 to 4 Plant-Type monsters currently on the field gaining equal Def until the 3rd End Phase.

 

3.

Monster lv3

Wind

Common Warrior type

Atk 900 / Def 1000

When this card is in face up position, increase all Warrior type monsters Atk by 300.

 

4.

Spell 

Choose 1 Earth/Plant type monster, this card gives 100/100 Atk/Def points at every Stand by Phase when this card is active.

 

5.

Monster lv6

Earth

Common Spellcaster

Atk 2100 / Def 2400

During the turn where 3 or more monsters your opponent controls destroyed: You can Tribute 2 EARTH monsters;Special Summon this card from your deck. You can Normal Summon this card without Tribute by paying 600 LP.

 

6.

Equip Spell 

Equip only to "Amateur Rose Knight". The equipped monster gains 500 ATK.

 

7.

Equip Spell

Equip only to "Amateur Rose Knight". The equipped monster gains 800 DEF. When the equipped monster is destroyed by battle: Target 1 face-up Trap Card on the field; destroy the target monster

 

8.

When this card activates it lowers all your opponents monsters Def by half + adding 200 Atk to all my monsters.

 

9.

Activate by paying 800 Life points. lv2/3 Monsters that are in either graveyards cannot activate their effects for 3 turns.

 

10.

Shes a young knight in training.

 

11.

Draw 3 cards, Then remove from play 1 Normal lv2 monster card from your hand. If you don't have any Normal lv2 monster cards in your hand to remove, send all cards in your hand to the graveyard.

 

12.

Negate all other trap card effects on the field.

 

13.

This turn,each player can only control 1 Type of monster. Send all other face-up monsters they control to the graveyard. 

 

14.

Each player discards their hand in their graveyards, till they have only 1 Attribute type monster for 2 turns. Each player loses 300 Life points if their hands don't have 1 Attribute type monster.

 

15.

Once per turn, you can either: Target 1 "Amateur Sunflower Knight" you control; equip this card to that target, OR Unequip this card and Special Summon it in face-up Attack Position. While equipped by this the equipped monster gains 400 ATK

 

16.

This card can ONLY be equipped with Amateur Sunflower Knight to activate its effect. Adds 400 Def + Chooses 1 lv4 monster to target.

 

17.

Lost Knight now works for the Royal Kingdom. She is the youngest of the knights.

 

18.

This card can ONLY be used on Amateur Carnation Knight, raises her Atk/Def by 200 at the end of each stand by phase for 2 turns.

 

19.

This card can ONLY be used on Amateur Carnation Knight raising her Atk by 300. 

 

20.

Sacrifice 1 lv1 random Earth type monster in your deck from play to bring out 2 lv1 Earth tokens in face up attack mode.

 

21.

Sacrifice 50 Life Points to make 1 Seed Token take a hit for Mother Earth monster.

 

22.

Only when equipped with her sword & badge can she activate her effect.

 

23.

Negate your opponents Trap/Spell that activated this effect.

 

24.

This card can only be equipped with Amateur Hydrangea Knight.

Enables Amateur Hydrangea Knight to share her Atk point with any water Attribute monster on the field. 

 

25.

This card can only be equipped with Amateur Hydrangea Knight.

Enables Amateur Hydrangea Knight to give all her Def to any water Attribute monster on the field when destroyed.

[LadyYoungYugiohN0ob]

um this is the first time i made a card. not sure what to post though :/

[SteveGuy234]

You should replace discard this trap out of play after it is destroyed with banish this card when it is destroyed. Just an opinion and it's pretty good card overall.

[JessicaMuddy]

I personally think the card is pretty under-powered and that your OCG (Card Grammar) is a bit off.

 

So to solve this you should make the card slightly stronger and the Card Grammar should look something like:

Your opponent loses 500 Life Points at every second standby phase this card is active.

 

I hope this helps. :D

[- Minimania -]

It's a nice card to have in certain decks.

You should work on the grammar though.

[Nazryl]

The card grammar will come over time, it takes some getting used too, but you'll get there. 

 

Overall, as James said, the card is pretty underpowered as it is and could do with a stronger burn effect. Again, James had it almost spot on with the increase of damage but I'd put the damage at the End Phase instead of the Standby Phase, no idea why though, just a feeling. 

 

OCG = For the rest of the Duel: During your Standby Phase; Your Opponent loses 500 Lifepoints. When this card leaves the field; Banish it. 

 

Or that is a close as I can imagine it being (OCG = Easy to understand but hard to master) 

 

With the increase of damage, it is a pretty standard card that could find some play in burn decks.

[Flash Flyer - Sakura]

Already mentioned, but repetition always helps.

 

Damage amount is too menial, considering what it does. You can afford to buff it up to 500-800 damage, considering what it does. Permanent LP loss is always nice in conjunction with any regular damage you inflict on the opponent. I'd probably just have the burn go off every turn so it remains consistent.

 

Also note that you need to specify WHEN the damage is to occur. JamesMuddy arbitrarily put Standby Phase for some reason. Most of the time, burn damage activates at the End Phase; though there are some that do burn in the Standby. Probably would settle for the End Phase; feels more natural to do so.

 

For writing OCG, Zaziuma has written a nice guide for doing it properly in PSCT; I highly advise you read it for future endeavors. Yes, it's complicated to write at times; hence you should give it a read.

 

On to moderator-related business.

- SteveGuy and JamesMuddy, follow the Advanced Clause in this section. It's fine to mention fixes to OCG, but they must be accompanied by a proper review of the card. Same goes for suggesting a fix; need to explain why you think it works (even though it may be obvious). Advanced Clause says 2-3 sentences explaining; you can write that much, can you?

- This is posted in the Multiples section; you only have one card in this section, so I will be moving this to Singles.

[LadyYoungYugiohN0ob]

You should replace discard this trap out of play after it is destroyed with banish this card when it is destroyed. Just an opinion and it's pretty good card overall.

Oh!  thank you so much, i wasn't sure how to phrase that sentence :(

I personally think the card is pretty under-powered and that your OCG (Card Grammar) is a bit off.

 

So to solve this you should make the card slightly stronger and the Card Grammar should look something like:

Your opponent loses 500 Life Points at every second standby phase this card is active.

 

I hope this helps. :D

Thanks so much. Im not good at making my own cards cause im trying not to copy peoples ideas :/

The card grammar will come over time, it takes some getting used too, but you'll get there. 

 

Overall, as James said, the card is pretty underpowered as it is and could do with a stronger burn effect. Again, James had it almost spot on with the increase of damage but I'd put the damage at the End Phase instead of the Standby Phase, no idea why though, just a feeling. 

 

OCG = For the rest of the Duel: During your Standby Phase; Your Opponent loses 500 Lifepoints. When this card leaves the field; Banish it. 

 

Or that is a close as I can imagine it being (OCG = Easy to understand but hard to master) 

 

With the increase of damage, it is a pretty standard card that could find some play in burn decks.

Thanks so much for feedback. I had no idea what OCG was..and im not sure which is the best way to word these out T.T

[LadyYoungYugiohN0ob]

Already mentioned, but repetition always helps.

 

Damage amount is too menial, considering what it does. You can afford to buff it up to 500-800 damage, considering what it does. Permanent LP loss is always nice in conjunction with any regular damage you inflict on the opponent. I'd probably just have the burn go off every turn so it remains consistent.

 

Also note that you need to specify WHEN the damage is to occur. JamesMuddy arbitrarily put Standby Phase for some reason. Most of the time, burn damage activates at the End Phase; though there are some that do burn in the Standby. Probably would settle for the End Phase; feels more natural to do so.

 

For writing OCG, Zaziuma has written a nice guide for doing it properly in PSCT; I highly advise you read it for future endeavors. Yes, it's complicated to write at times; hence you should give it a read.

 

On to moderator-related business.

- SteveGuy and JamesMuddy, follow the Advanced Clause in this section. It's fine to mention fixes to OCG, but they must be accompanied by a proper review of the card. Same goes for suggesting a fix; need to explain why you think it works (even though it may be obvious). Advanced Clause says 2-3 sentences explaining; you can write that much, can you?

- This is posted in the Multiples section; you only have one card in this section, so I will be moving this to Singles.So 

So what your saying is that, considering the effect of my card, i should change it to take more LF away? Also i should make it just do its effect at every turn my opponent has?  ok, ill try that.

And good point on the when to the effect should be. Ill change it to every End Phase instead.

Um...what is PSCT? where is that at?

 

Thanks for moving it for me. I didnt notice where i post it at till it was to late, and i did freak out abit... thanks again

[LadyYoungYugiohN0ob]

Also i just like to make cards to ( so if you guy like to yall can print out the pic to use in your yugioh battles, i don't mind. ) I think this site is also fun ^. ^  

 

im fixing it now ^ .^  then ill re post its fixed version here fro yall to see

[Yemachu]

The picture you included appears to be missing an icon (Continuous / Counter), or it has to much spacing for a Normal Trap Card. It seems rather unlikely that this card is a Counter Trap Card (no activation timing is specified, and the effect does not seem to counter anything), so I am in doubt whether this card is a Normal or Continuous Trap Card. Its usage is somewhat dependant on the category it belongs to. It might be a good idea to take a look at your card before posting, if it seems to be missing something (Attribute / Type); if that is the case, click the "Generate" button until the card shows up properly (or check wehther all settings are correct). 
 
The last effect ("discard this card out of play when it is destroyed.") implies that this card is a Continuous Trap Card. If that is the case, this card is really underwhelming. There are a lot of cards which do essentially the same, only dealing more damage under somewhat special conditions ("Minor Goblin Official" deals 300 damage but is harder to activate, "Gem Flash Energy" ranges from 0~1200 depending on Continuous Spell Cards, "Nightmare Wheel" deals 500 damage and blocks attacks from 1 monster, "Graverobber's Retribution" varies greatly in damage{0~2000}). Also, since you can only activate it once per duel, a higher damage output would not be out of place. I think 300~500 damage per turn can work nicely.
 
If on the other hand it is a Normal Trap Card, this card gets really interesting. That way your opponent cannot do anything about it once this card has been activated succesfully,the same applies to the card "Hieroplyph Litograph" (although that card is plain useless). The effect "damage" is somewhat low, so you can probably crank it up to 200 (300 or more would be a bit much since your opponent can barely do anything about it).
 
Futhermore, this effect says that it causes your opponent to lose Life Points. That is something which is really hard to stop, since most cards only block (effect) damage. And not many other "burn" cards do that. This can however be me interpreting the effect wrongly. Another point, which was already mentioned by others, is that you do not specify when the Life Points loss occurs. I would choose Standby Phase, but the End Phase works just as well. Lastly I would like to supply you with an OCG-fix ("official" card grammer), based on the Normal Trap interpretation; because that one is more original. Here goes:

For the remainder of the Duel, during each of your Standby Phases: Your opponent loses 200 LP. You can only activate only activate "Red Eyes Curse" once per Duel. If this card is destroyed: Banish it instead of sending it to the Graveyard.

You can replace "Your opponent loses 200 LP" with "Inflict 200 damage to your opponent.", to follow the pattern of most other existing cards.

I hope you have some usage for my vision/suggestions.

[LadyYoungYugiohN0ob]

The picture you included appears to be missing an icon (Continuous / Counter), or it has to much spacing for a Normal Trap Card. It seems rather unlikely that this card is a Counter Trap Card (no activation timing is specified, and the effect does not seem to counter anything), so I am in doubt whether this card is a Normal or Continuous Trap Card. Its usage is somewhat dependant on the category it belongs to. It might be a good idea to take a look at your card before posting, if it seems to be missing something (Attribute / Type); if that is the case, click the "Generate" button until the card shows up properly (or check wehther all settings are correct). 
 
The last effect ("discard this card out of play when it is destroyed.") implies that this card is a Continuous Trap Card. If that is the case, this card is really underwhelming. There are a lot of cards which do essentially the same, only dealing more damage under somewhat special conditions ("Minor Goblin Official" deals 300 damage but is harder to activate, "Gem Flash Energy" ranges from 0~1200 depending on Continuous Spell Cards, "Nightmare Wheel" deals 500 damage and blocks attacks from 1 monster, "  
If on the other hand it is a Normal Trap Card, this card gets really interesting. That way your opponent cannot do anything about it once this card has been activated succesfully,the same applies to the card "Hieroplyph Litograph" (although that card is plain useless). The effect "damage" is somewhat low, so you can probably crank it up to 200 (300 or more would be a bit much since your opponent can barely do anything about it).
 
Futhermore, this effect says that it causes your opponent to lose Life Points. That is something which is really hard to stop, since most cards only block (effect) damage. And not many other "burn" cards do that. This can however be me interpreting the effect wrongly. Another point, which was already mentioned by others, is that you do not specify when the Life Points loss occurs. I would choose Standby Phase, but the End Phase works just as well. Lastly I would like to supply you with an OCG-fix ("official" card grammer), based on the Normal Trap interpretation; because that one is more original. Here goes:

You can replace "Your opponent loses 200 LP" with "Inflict 200 damage to your opponent.", to follow the pattern of most other existing cards.

I hope you have some usage for my vision/suggestions.

uh...thank you.. sorry it was hard trying to understand what your say there. But its all good now. I already got enough info to fix it. thanks for taking the time to give feedback.

[Nazryl]

Oh!  thank you so much, i wasn't sure how to phrase that sentence :(

Thanks so much. Im not good at making my own cards cause im trying not to copy peoples ideas :/

Thanks so much for feedback. I had no idea what OCG was..and im not sure which is the best way to word these out T.T

 

 

It takes time, as long as you take on the notes and fixes that people post, you'll learn. The most important thing is not to take it personally. Some people will rip your card apart and tell you every minor detail that is wrong, but it's never malicious and always there to help you improve as a card maker. Keep trying, keep posting and you'll improve with every card :)

[LadyYoungYugiohN0ob]

It takes time, as long as you take on the notes and fixes that people post, you'll learn. The most important thing is not to take it personally. Some people will rip your card apart and tell you every minor detail that is wrong, but it's never malicious and always there to help you improve as a card maker. Keep trying, keep posting and you'll improve with every card :)

Ok thanks ^. ^

[LadyYoungYugiohN0ob]

Ok guys here is the fixed version ill post ti on top post also ^. ^

[spoiler=Part 1]

 

Ok guys here is the fixed version ill post ti on top post also ^. ^

Should i place a icon on card? if so how would it be better if i did?


Yaaay guys i just made my first Monster card. pls give feedback



My first spell card


I need feedback ^.^ give the best you can please.


my new monster


[/spoiler]

So does anyone think that these 3 cards will be good in a deck? Im making more plant type cards in a sec that go with them.

[spoiler=Part 2]
new monster


this is my first ( Special summon card) so please tell me if i messed up...and 1 mod can fix it....cause i wasn't sure how this idea was gonna go out :(

ok i fixed it


Another spell card



Another spell card



another trap card



another trap card



another monster



New Trap card


Yes i know some cards i don't word them out well, ill fix which ones i need to at a later time so please stop repeating the same thing over & over about that problem. Thank you ^. ^


new trap



13th card done



new trap



new card



new card
[/spoiler]

[Tentacruel]

People have already gone over effects, so I'll point out that the artwork is kind of all over the place.  I know it's kind of arbitrary, but if you're going to go for realistic, the artwork should probably resemble something from an actual card. 

 

Red Eye's Curse is very visibly a screenshot from an anime.

 

A minor nitpick, but I feel like it's worth pointing out.

[LadyYoungYugiohN0ob]

People have already gone over effects, so I'll point out that the artwork is kind of all over the place.  I know it's kind of arbitrary, but if you're going to go for realistic, the artwork should probably resemble something from an actual card. 

 

Red Eye's Curse is very visibly a screenshot from an anime.

 

A minor nitpick, but I feel like it's worth pointing out.

im not picky on artwork.i just chose something that I liked from google xD thats cause it is anime pic from google. 

[Flash Flyer - Sakura]

Make sure you keep all your cards in one post; it makes it easier for us to see them.

And don't worry about the pics; some of us do use stuff off Google or wherever.

 

OCG-wise, it's okay if you don't get it perfect the first time; we're here to help you fix it.

PSCT is the current version of OCG; short for Problem-Solving Card Text (essentially boils down to: If/When A happens: You can choose to do B (provided A is an "if" effect; optional); if B triggers, do C.) Again, the guide in RC-Singles should explain that in better detail.

[LadyYoungYugiohN0ob]

Make sure you keep all your cards in one post; it makes it easier for us to see them.

And don't worry about the pics; some of us do use stuff off Google or wherever.

 

OCG-wise, it's okay if you don't get it perfect the first time; we're here to help you fix it.

PSCT is the current version of OCG; short for Problem-Solving Card Text (essentially boils down to: If/When A happens: You can choose to do B (provided A is an "if" effect; optional); if B triggers, do C.) Again, the guide in RC-Singles should explain that in better detail.

yeah i do make sure all my creations are in my first post to stay organized.   oh ok thanks.  ok 

[Trebuchet MS]

new monster

this is my first ( Special summon card) so please tell me if i messed up...and 1 mod can fix it....cause i wasn't sure how this idea was gonna go out :(

Well... Ya' dun goofed.

 

Start by turning this into an Effect Monster. And I mean giving her the orange border.

 

Next, Special Summon Monsters don't fall under a type. Giver her a proper Type among the 21 existing amongst printed Yugioh cards. EARTH, LIGHT, etc are Attributes; Warrior, Spellcaster, Plant, etc are Types.

 

Third, the effect...

When During the turn where 3 or more monsters of your opponent controls monsters are destroyed: You can Tribute + sacrificing any 2 EARTH-type monsters; to the graveyard you can Special Summon this card from ____ Mother Earth. Or You can sacrifice 600 Life Points to Normal Summon her this card without Tribute by paying 600 LP.

 

Considering the crazy high loophole you need to Special Summon her, bringing out a 2450/2700 who does nothing else once she's hit the field is not quite worth it. You also haven't clarified where you can Special Summon her from, either. Any player would preferably just give up 600 LP to Normal Summon her as that needs far fewer resources to accomplish.

 

...And this is just one of the cards that's riddled with wording and design problems. Could I ask you to take a while to read this thread before continuing on your cardmaking spree, while also stopping to look through what the other members have said about your card and fixing them?

[LadyYoungYugiohN0ob]

Well... Ya' dun goofed.

 

Start by turning this into an Effect Monster. And I mean giving her the orange border.

 

Next, Special Summon Monsters don't fall under a type. Giver her a proper Type among the 21 existing amongst printed Yugioh cards. EARTH, LIGHT, etc are Attributes; Warrior, Spellcaster, Plant, etc are Types.

 

Third, the effect...

When During the turn where 3 or more monsters of your opponent controls monsters are destroyed: You can Tribute + sacrificing any 2 EARTH-type monsters; to the graveyard you can Special Summon this card from ____ Mother Earth. Or You can sacrifice 600 Life Points to Normal Summon her this card without Tribute by paying 600 LP.

 

Considering the crazy high loophole you need to Special Summon her, bringing out a 2450/2700 who does nothing else once she's hit the field is not quite worth it. You also haven't clarified where you can Special Summon her from, either. Any player would preferably just give up 600 LP to Normal Summon her as that needs far fewer resources to accomplish.

 

...And this is just one of the cards that's riddled with wording and design problems. Could I ask you to take a while to read this thread before continuing on your cardmaking spree, while also stopping to look through what the other members have said about your card and fixing them?

thanks i wasn't sure if i should make her a effect card or not..

ohh ok i wasn't sure how to choose hat type to summon her.

ok i fixed it, i just my best to word it.

thanks for your feedback

 

i already had a mod check threw them ( cause these cards as in the topic where they post only 1 card) that's how many people saw them o.o.  i already been threw that thing a few times already. im doing ok no. but thanks for your concern ^. ^

[Kivoxo]

Boss Encounter is a normal trap version of Rivalry of the Warlords.

New Law is a normal trap version of Royal Decree.

Souls Curse is a counter trap version of Soul Drain that costs 200 LP more.

Towns Charity is copy and pasted Common Charity. 

Special Challenge is a Gozen Match that also reveals player's hands. (very broken card, checking hands every turn would never get past konami)

Is all of this intentional?

 

OCG on the copied cards are outdated for some, and the ones you made are all over the place.

[LadyYoungYugiohN0ob]

Boss Encounter is a normal trap version of Rivalry of the Warlords.

New Law is a normal trap version of Royal Decree.

Souls Curse is a counter trap version of Soul Drain that costs 200 LP more.

Towns Charity is copy and pasted Common Charity. 

Special Challenge is a Gozen Match that also reveals player's hands. (very broken card, checking hands every turn would never get past konami)

Is all of this intentional?

 

OCG on the copied cards are outdated for some, and the ones you made are all over the place.

im confused what do you mean by intentional?  

special challange card does not say to check hands every turn. 

also what did you mean by that last sentence. about them being all over the place.

you saying i should change them abit? 

[Kivoxo]

im confused what do you mean by intentional?  

special challange card does not say to check hands every turn. 

also what did you mean by that last sentence. about them being all over the place.

you saying i should change them abit? 

Intentional as in did you intentionally copy real cards?

Challenge doesn't say anything about when to check the hand. You made the trap continuous, so you have to specify.

 

All over the place as in the cards that aren't copies have incorrect OCG AND correct OCG. 

 

Rework them a lot.

[LadyYoungYugiohN0ob]

Intentional as in did you intentionally copy real cards?

Challenge doesn't say anything about when to check the hand. You made the trap continuous, so you have to specify.

 

All over the place as in the cards that aren't copies have incorrect OCG AND correct OCG. 

 

Rework them a lot.

no not intentionally.

oh crap i didn't know i made it a continues card, thanks fro catching that.

oh i already know some are. i already stated that ill fix that that on a later date.

ill see what i can do.

 

thanks for feedback