Shitsurakuen (Lost Paradise) Archetype [14/?]

[Yuuji Kazami]

So, this is my first time trying to build an original archetype. I already had a story in mind, and I'll give a short version after posting the cards. (Story in progress)

Shitsurakuen translates to Lost Paradise in Japanese.

I had to nerf everything because they were way too powerful.

[spoiler=Original Main Deck Monsters:]

[spoiler=Original Extra Deck Monsters:]

[spoiler=Original Spells:]

Note: Alloy Amaryllis's picture is by Marco Polo. I couldn't find a more suitable picture for a organic metal plant that could be used as a bullet. This was the closest I could find.

[spoiler=Original Edited Cards]
---> Can now be destroyed by battle, and effect changed to Spell/Traps only. Cannot be targeted or destroyed by card effects.
----> Can only be Xyz Summoned by using Shitsurakuen Monsters.
---> You now gain 500 LP during standby phase. 500 LP cost removed from using his effect.
----> Amaryliss can now be shuffled back into the deck form your graveyard during your end phase only. Can only be used once per turn.
---->: Gunblade's draw eff is now only hard OPT.
-----> Michi can now only be Special Summoned OPT.
-----> Hard OPT now on Kenta's effect, although you can now attack after activation.
------> Boosted Eiji. Non-target S/T destruction is now part of COST.

[spoiler=Current Version of Cards (Main Deck)]

[spoiler=Current Version of Cards (Spells)]

[spoiler=Current Version of Cards (Extra Deck)]

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[spoiler=Final Version of Main Deck]

 

[spoiler=Final Version of Spells]
---> requires editing

[spoiler=Final Version of Extra Deck]

 

[BuraiLaplayce]

Xyz warrior archetype \o/ i love xyz warrior archetypes.I liked the effects are quite varied , simple but very significant to a duel. it seems that the deck does not have a focus on the not be the fact that you control several of these monsters to have enough strategies. The alice is one good is a good way to have control over the other monsters that archtype. Will have synchro?

[Yuuji Kazami]

Xyz warrior archetype \o/ i love xyz warrior archetypes.I liked the effects are quite varied , simple but very significant to a duel. it seems that the deck does not have a focus on the not be the fact that you control several of these monsters to have enough strategies. The alice is one good is a good way to have control over the other monsters that archtype. Will have synchro?

Yeah, I plan to update once I get the story behind these guys up.

 

There will be Level 7 Synchros and 1 Level 11 Synchro, and maybe 1 Rank 4 Xyz.

[Arctic55]

Kazuki is fine.  Shiro is fine.  Alice is fine.  Eiji is fine.

 

Kenta's assassination ability + 1k extra ability damage + death protection makes it a serious threat.  Seems fairly balanced, but the 1k extra damage seems harsh.  And imagine having 2 or 3 of these on the field.  It's like a stronger, faster killing Solar Flare Lockdown.  Personally, I would nerf it, but that's up to you.

 

Michi is fine.  Amaryllis is fine.  Carbine is fine.

[Yuuji Kazami]

Kazuki is fine.  Shiro is fine.  Alice is fine.  Eiji is fine.

 

Kenta's assassination ability + 1k extra ability damage + death protection makes it a serious threat.  Seems fairly balanced, but the 1k extra damage seems harsh.  And imagine having 2 or 3 of these on the field.  It's like a stronger, faster killing Solar Flare Lockdown.  Personally, I would nerf it, but that's up to you.

 

Michi is fine.  Amaryllis is fine.  Carbine is fine.

Kenta has a little more power since he is... Well... a Hunter. That's why I decided to give him a OPT eff. Also, it's rather hard to summon him since he has no support eff for himself. I've only tested it against a BA deck in the portal.

 

Practically, the deck revolves around Kazuki, Shiro, and Eiji working together. Kenta is kind of a side character who helps out.

 

But yeah, I'll still consider nerfing, but I'll need to test out the deck more.

[Arctic55]

Kenta has a little more power since he is... Well... a Hunter. That's why I decided to give him a OPT eff. Also, it's rather hard to summon him since he has no support eff for himself. I've only tested it against a BA deck in the portal.

 

Practically, the deck revolves around Kazuki, Shiro, and Eiji working together. Kenta is kind of a side character who helps out.

 

But yeah, I'll still consider nerfing, but I'll need to test out the deck more.

My main worry is if you played 1 Kenta on turn 1 (since it's a 4*), protecting it with traps, and summoning another Kenta on turn 2.  Or even, summon 1 Kenta turn one, activate Double Summon and summon another on same turn.  Put yourself on the other side of the field.  Yes, spells and traps work on it, but it's not easy staring down two monsters that protect each other and insta kill anything you summon, and deal damage for the insta kill.

 

Here is my solution.  Boosting Kenta to a 5* to make it a little harder to get out, and getting rid of the 1k damage completely or, if you insist on dealing damage, lowering it to 500 or less so it's not so detrimental.  Devastating effects are supposed to be for higher star monsters.

 

My other solution is boosting Kenta to an 8-10* since that could merit such a powerful combination of effects.

[Yuuji Kazami]

Bump.

 

Gunblade up, evolved versions of Kazuki, Shiro, and Eiji up.

[Arctic55]

My only gripe with the Kazuki evolution is the fact that it's "cannot be destroyed by battle or card effects" because monster, spell, and trap effects all count as "card effects" I think.  So how is this guys supposed to die?

 

Once again with Shiro... "cannot... be destroyed by an opponent's card effects" which outlaws monsters, traps, and spells.  What's the point of not being able to be targeted then?  What I think you might have meant is "This card cannot be targeted by your opponen'ts card effects" that allows thinks like dark hole and mirror force to kill, but not things like Raigeki Break can effect it.

 

Eiji seems fine.  Personally, not sure how I like nukes though... -_-  You may want to let your opponent draw 1 card to give them a chance of a response.

[Yuuji Kazami]

My only gripe with the Kazuki evolution is the fact that it's "cannot be destroyed by battle or card effects" because monster, spell, and trap effects all count as "card effects" I think.  So how is this guys supposed to die?

 

Once again with Shiro... "cannot... be destroyed by an opponent's card effects" which outlaws monsters, traps, and spells.  What's the point of not being able to be targeted then?  What I think you might have meant is "This card cannot be targeted by your opponen'ts card effects" that allows thinks like dark hole and mirror force to kill, but not things like Raigeki Break can effect it.

 

Eiji seems fine.  Personally, not sure how I like nukes though... -_-  You may want to let your opponent draw 1 card to give them a chance of a response.

Yeah, I agree for Kazuki and Shiro being a little overpowered. I was thinking that battling would be the method to get rid of Shiro, and Kazuki requires destroying his equip spell to make him weaker, so he'd be forced into DEF position to protect LP. They both wouldn't be able to fight away something like Kozmo Dark Destroyer though.

 

Will be rechecking and probably nerfing.

[Dova]

Main Deck Monsters:

 

Kazuki would be a problem if there were more Equip spells, but since there's only two and there's not a good way to recycle it...the +1 it gives is not too strong. HOPT is fine on it.

 

I feel Shiro should have that draw on add, rather than Kazuki, because, yes, Kazuki isn't OP yet, I get the feeling there will be more to this archetype, and if there is anymore he will the tip the charts. Saving the +1 to your End Phase slows it down just enough, and will probably be for the best in the long run. Also, this card has technically one effect, due to the fact that the SS from hand is a not an effect but rather a "built in summon" (See Solemn Strike), so you need to limit that.

 

Eiji recycles in Grave for a non-targeting s/t removal. Not much to say here, seems fine.

 

Kenta's attack protection is...eh...considering its high stats. I wish it was more like "other monsters you control cannot be targeted for attacks" but that might be OP with the aforementioned Alice. The destruction effect is fine, actually, but the archetype would probably need more monster removal in order to warrant using this, considering you cannot attack AT ALL.

 

I don't want to be able to Summon 3 in a turn just because I have them in my hand. The last effect is okay....but I don't really see how useful it would be?

 

Alloy's negation prevention? No. Your opponent manages to negate something in your hand and wastes his time on it? Fine on him, but don't punish him for wanting to, especially since it can be recycled easily. As for the OPT...what's the other effects being limited?

 

Extra Deck

 

Alice's stats are....okay for a Rank 4 but not for a Rank 3. I mean, that first effect "unaffected" really hits the mark, although it probably needs more protection archetype-wise to keep it on the field. As I said before, this card is fine now, but if you add more cards it would probably need nerfing in some way.

 

Kazuki is a wild nope, making the archetype much more generic. I mean, all I have to do is run a few Equip Spells and normal Kazuki and I can almost always summon this guy if I summon normal Kazuki first, and boy, that effect is rather strong, with monster effect negation and destruction/targeting protection. Rather difficult to beat over if he can negate le monsters.

 

Shiro would have the same protection problem, but his second effect leaves a lot to be desired, so all in all I would say he works. I mean, 500 LP with no attacking and your opponent gets a draw? Not much, but again, good protection and stats.

 

Eiji is an archetype Exciton, that's almost impossible to negate outside of Skill Drain or the Solemns. I would prefer the protection to be nerfed in combination with the effect, but otherwise fine.

 

Spells:

 

Carbine is relatively okay. Although some of its effects are rather powerful, it runs out really fast. I just wish it was only OPT, as opposed to during your opponent's turn as well, but all in all it's not THAT powerful, because this archetype lacks recycling.

 

But Gunblade...wow. This thing needs Hard OPT on everything. Even Sky Dragoons of Draconia has a limitation on the battle damage effect, but this card also re-adds itself as many times as you have ammo in your deck from your Graveyard, and it does piercing AND an attack boost.

 

 

All in all, the archetype is sending me conflicting messages. It wants to deal battle damage yet at the same time limits itself a lot. I feel the archetype's theme is "Hit hard, hit once" and if it misses you're kinda screwed, although this is "balanced" by the sheer amount of power it has. I think more focusing on a theme would help, and said nerfing, but I like how it is so far.

[Arctic55]

Main Deck Monsters:

 

Kazuki would be a problem if there were more Equip spells, but since there's only two and there's not a good way to recycle it...the +1 it gives is not too strong. HOPT is fine on it.

 

I feel Shiro should have that draw on add, rather than Kazuki, because, yes, Kazuki isn't OP yet, I get the feeling there will be more to this archetype, and if there is anymore he will the tip the charts. Saving the +1 to your End Phase slows it down just enough, and will probably be for the best in the long run. Also, this card has technically one effect, due to the fact that the SS from hand is a not an effect but rather a "built in summon" (See Solemn Strike), so you need to limit that.

 

Eiji recycles in Grave for a non-targeting s/t removal. Not much to say here, seems fine.

 

Kenta's attack protection is...eh...considering its high stats. I wish it was more like "other monsters you control cannot be targeted for attacks" but that might be OP with the aforementioned Alice. The destruction effect is fine, actually, but the archetype would probably need more monster removal in order to warrant using this, considering you cannot attack AT ALL.

 

I don't want to be able to Summon 3 in a turn just because I have them in my hand. The last effect is okay....but I don't really see how useful it would be?

 

Alloy's negation prevention? No. Your opponent manages to negate something in your hand and wastes his time on it? Fine on him, but don't punish him for wanting to, especially since it can be recycled easily. As for the OPT...what's the other effects being limited?

 

Extra Deck

 

Alice's stats are....okay for a Rank 4 but not for a Rank 3. I mean, that first effect "unaffected" really hits the mark, although it probably needs more protection archetype-wise to keep it on the field. As I said before, this card is fine now, but if you add more cards it would probably need nerfing in some way.

 

Kazuki is a wild nope, making the archetype much more generic. I mean, all I have to do is run a few Equip Spells and normal Kazuki and I can almost always summon this guy if I summon normal Kazuki first, and boy, that effect is rather strong, with monster effect negation and destruction/targeting protection. Rather difficult to beat over if he can negate le monsters.

 

Shiro would have the same protection problem, but his second effect leaves a lot to be desired, so all in all I would say he works. I mean, 500 LP with no attacking and your opponent gets a draw? Not much, but again, good protection and stats.

 

Eiji is an archetype Exciton, that's almost impossible to negate outside of Skill Drain or the Solemns. I would prefer the protection to be nerfed in combination with the effect, but otherwise fine.

 

Spells:

 

Carbine is relatively okay. Although some of its effects are rather powerful, it runs out really fast. I just wish it was only OPT, as opposed to during your opponent's turn as well, but all in all it's not THAT powerful, because this archetype lacks recycling.

 

But Gunblade...wow. This thing needs Hard OPT on everything. Even Sky Dragoons of Draconia has a limitation on the battle damage effect, but this card also re-adds itself as many times as you have ammo in your deck from your Graveyard, and it does piercing AND an attack boost.

 

 

All in all, the archetype is sending me conflicting messages. It wants to deal battle damage yet at the same time limits itself a lot. I feel the archetype's theme is "Hit hard, hit once" and if it misses you're kinda screwed, although this is "balanced" by the sheer amount of power it has. I think more focusing on a theme would help, and said nerfing, but I like how it is so far.

Wow, you really torn into the archetype.  lol, Deep.  I kinda wanted to let the originality be, but sheesh, lol.  Why can't I normally get this kind of love on my stuff.  XD.

 

Anyways, good job on these edits.  You make some good points, especially about Alloy and Gunblade.

[Yuuji Kazami]

Main Deck Monsters:

 

Kazuki would be a problem if there were more Equip spells, but since there's only two and there's not a good way to recycle it...the +1 it gives is not too strong. HOPT is fine on it.

 

I feel Shiro should have that draw on add, rather than Kazuki, because, yes, Kazuki isn't OP yet, I get the feeling there will be more to this archetype, and if there is anymore he will the tip the charts. Saving the +1 to your End Phase slows it down just enough, and will probably be for the best in the long run. Also, this card has technically one effect, due to the fact that the SS from hand is a not an effect but rather a "built in summon" (See Solemn Strike), so you need to limit that.

 

Eiji recycles in Grave for a non-targeting s/t removal. Not much to say here, seems fine.

 

Kenta's attack protection is...eh...considering its high stats. I wish it was more like "other monsters you control cannot be targeted for attacks" but that might be OP with the aforementioned Alice. The destruction effect is fine, actually, but the archetype would probably need more monster removal in order to warrant using this, considering you cannot attack AT ALL.

 

I don't want to be able to Summon 3 in a turn just because I have them in my hand. The last effect is okay....but I don't really see how useful it would be?

 

Alloy's negation prevention? No. Your opponent manages to negate something in your hand and wastes his time on it? Fine on him, but don't punish him for wanting to, especially since it can be recycled easily. As for the OPT...what's the other effects being limited?

 

Extra Deck

 

Alice's stats are....okay for a Rank 4 but not for a Rank 3. I mean, that first effect "unaffected" really hits the mark, although it probably needs more protection archetype-wise to keep it on the field. As I said before, this card is fine now, but if you add more cards it would probably need nerfing in some way.

 

Kazuki is a wild nope, making the archetype much more generic. I mean, all I have to do is run a few Equip Spells and normal Kazuki and I can almost always summon this guy if I summon normal Kazuki first, and boy, that effect is rather strong, with monster effect negation and destruction/targeting protection. Rather difficult to beat over if he can negate le monsters.

 

Shiro would have the same protection problem, but his second effect leaves a lot to be desired, so all in all I would say he works. I mean, 500 LP with no attacking and your opponent gets a draw? Not much, but again, good protection and stats.

 

Eiji is an archetype Exciton, that's almost impossible to negate outside of Skill Drain or the Solemns. I would prefer the protection to be nerfed in combination with the effect, but otherwise fine.

 

Spells:

 

Carbine is relatively okay. Although some of its effects are rather powerful, it runs out really fast. I just wish it was only OPT, as opposed to during your opponent's turn as well, but all in all it's not THAT powerful, because this archetype lacks recycling.

 

But Gunblade...wow. This thing needs Hard OPT on everything. Even Sky Dragoons of Draconia has a limitation on the battle damage effect, but this card also re-adds itself as many times as you have ammo in your deck from your Graveyard, and it does piercing AND an attack boost.

 

 

All in all, the archetype is sending me conflicting messages. It wants to deal battle damage yet at the same time limits itself a lot. I feel the archetype's theme is "Hit hard, hit once" and if it misses you're kinda screwed, although this is "balanced" by the sheer amount of power it has. I think more focusing on a theme would help, and said nerfing, but I like how it is so far.

Hmm... What theme should I be going for then?

 

Also, this deck has actually a somewhat hard time of getting two Shitsurakuen monsters on the field together that could work together. I've tested in Duel Portal.

 

Btw, Michi's aim is to bounce COTH and the weapons back to your hand so you can use them again. 

 

Kenta's purpose is to... well... Snipe. I thought most decks nowadays wouldn't be afraid of destruction effects, and probably would have counters. That's the reason for the high ATK.

 

Alloy's purpose is to allow you to cycle it back into the deck, and then +1. I just thought it would create an infinite loop if it was the only card in your deck, so I hard OPTed it.

 

For Kazuki, I'll change it so that it has to be another Level 4 Shitsurakuen monster.

 

For Shiro, since he can also use his effect on your opponent's turn, this is why I thought of making the cost slightly more harsh.

 

For Eiji, I will be reducing his stats as well or thinking of an alternative. Maybe a 2500 ATK Protected Excition was a little much.

 

For Gunblade, I will reconsider an alternative. However, this deck struggles greatly against the boss monsters with 3k ATK. Especially cards like Apoqliphort Towers, Kozmo Dark Destroyer, etc. I'm unsure if reducing its power is a good idea, since it heavily relies on card effects.

[Yuuji Kazami]

I have made some edits to some of the cards. Look under the Edit Spoiler to see the cards changed. More edits will be made once I get home.

 

Note: The edits are not finalized.

[Arctic55]

I'm still not sure the OTP is enough for Michi, I would suggest a "you can only control 1" type of thing.  But at least you took a step in the right direction.  The rest of the edits were good.  Great work.  :)

[Dova]

What I meant for Alloy was: I get that one of the effects with HOPT is the shuffle effect, but what other effects are being limited? The Negation protection is a continuous effect that can't activate so it's not effected by the HOPT.

[Yuuji Kazami]

What I meant for Alloy was: I get that one of the effects with HOPT is the shuffle effect, but what other effects are being limited? The Negation protection is a continuous effect that can't activate so it's not effected by the HOPT.

Yeah, I had initially made a mistake in the wording before. Now it should be correct since I added the Graveyard shuffle effect as well now.

[Yuuji Kazami]

I'm still not sure the OTP is enough for Michi, I would suggest a "you can only control 1" type of thing.  But at least you took a step in the right direction.  The rest of the edits were good.  Great work.  :)

I didn't want to "You can only control 1" Michi because he is supposed to be able to make Alice. Controlling 1 would make Alice obsolete from being Xyz Summoned by Level 3's.

[Yuuji Kazami]

Finished making modifications. The Spoilers that list "Current Version of Cards" contain the new boss monster, Shihebi, and another support monster, Kotori.

 

If the need arises, I will re-edit them a third time. I will also test the current version in Duel Portal as well.

[Yuuji Kazami]

Final versions up. I nerfed everything.

 

Even the edited version was way to powerful. I never got down to less than 4 cards in my hand.

 

Hopefully, the final version should be fine now... I hope.

[Yuuji Kazami]

Had to nerf even the final versions. Official final versions finished. The set will probably have an addition of 1-3 more cards. I'll also be limiting/semi-limiting.

 

Bump.