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Dragon Single.


SynchroTuner

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Here is a dragon-type monster.

EDITED. READ ONLY WRITTEN LORE.
[img]http://yugico.com/customcard/139749.jpg[/img]
Lore--

You can Special Summon this card(from your hand) by banishing 2 Dragon-Type monsters from your Graveyard. Must be Special Summoned by its own effect and cannot be Special Summoned by other ways. Cannot be destroyed by battle. Cannot destroy monsters by battle. If this card battles an opponent's face-up Attack Position monster: Banish 1 Dragon-Type monster from your hand or Graveyard; Destroy that target after damage calculation. If this card attack a Defense Position monster, inflict piercing damage to your opponent. Once per turn, during your Standby Phase: Inflict 500 damage to your opponent.

My views-

It is a lvl 8, with adeq. atk.it cannot be destroyed by battle and destroys the other monster... Strong. Also inflict 500 damage during SP. So, it also supports fire many of which have effect damage effs(Solar Flare dragon, etc). But it has a tribute monster cost. It also has piercing damage. Could take out strong monsters like Red dragon archfiend, Shien, even Five-Headed Dragon(though it would deal a lot of damage to us.) and other cards.

Please review this card.

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Well, it is not even close to meta-worthy. This thing may have seen use 10 formats ago, but this is ZeXal, and a card this slow would do nothing but clog up a deck. Save for its final effect (and I'll mention why later), it is, ability-wise, perfectly fine, but monsters that require tributes never see use (except in frogs). I suggest that you give this card an easier way to be summoned like "You can special summon this card (from your hand) by banishing 3 Dragon-Type monsters from your graveyard" or "During the end phase of a turn in which 2 or more Dragon-Type monsters were destroyed: You can special summon this card (from your hand)." Those are just 2 examples for Dragon support, you can go wild with the summoning condition. The final effect is completely unnecessary and would only make this card even less usable. I highly suggest that you take it out. Other than that, the card's design is fine, it just needs an easier way to bring it out.

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You might have a little too many in excess of effects without paying for anything or any drawback.

You have:
- Special Summoning itself (albeit a little expensive and situational - having that many of a specific Type of monster just to get rid of them all for one monster is a lot)
- Battle Immunity
- A [b][url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Ally_of_Justice_Catastor"]Ally of Justice Catastor[/url][/b] like "Kill Something you fight no matter what" effect.
- Piercing
- Burning each turn.

- And you can Normal Summon it regularly (including using effects like Mausoleum)
- You can still use other effects to Special Summon it.

5 effects and 7 advantages. 7 on a single card?


Between the damage you deal Piercing and the damage from burning, it will always deal damage each turn. Monsters cannot kill it in battle, but it can kill them in battle no matter what? Dropping this guy on your first turn is a death game and quite unfair for something with that much that ask for so little back. The opponent cannot mount any defense against it, he has to use effects to just get rid of it and that's bad design for something you can pull out so easily.

I would:
- Get rid of the Catastor effect or Piercing, not keep both.
- If you keep the Catastor effect, it needs a cost or condition that makes it riskier for you to use it or make the card harder to get out to make the effect more fair to keep.
- I would give the opponent more leaway to mount a defense. How about since your monster is immune to battle, you make it that he can't kill Defense Position monsters in battle. You can still keep the piercing if you do that. Or even prevent it from killing monsters in battle at all.
- Or attempt to reign in all these effects somehow.


[u]So a more fair version of the card could be:[/u]

[b][i]"Requires 2 Tributes to Normal Summon/Set. You can Special Summon this card (from your hand) by banishing 2 Dragon-Type monsters from your hand. Must be Special Summoned by its own effect and cannot be Special Summoned by other ways. This card cannot be destroyed by battle. This card cannot destroy monsters by battle. If this card attacks a Defense Position monster, inflict piercing Battle Damage to your opponent. If this card battles an opponent's face-up Attack Position monster: Banish 1 Dragon-Type monster from your Graveyard; Destroy that monster after damage calculation. Once per turn, during your Standby Phase: Inflict 500 damage to your opponent."[/i][/b]

I can get behind this version. It's much more limited, but doesn't lose the effects you put in place, so its not a a win-button.

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[quote name='SynchroTuner' timestamp='1353586349' post='6075527']
Agreed. But, I don't see why I must specify that it needs 2 tributes. It is a lvl 8 right? Left the face-up atk position part. Leaving that part, edited. Thanx a ton guys.
[/quote]

Everything I did was VERY specific. I will explain line by line if necessary.



- "[b][i]Requires 2 Tributes to Normal Summon/Set."[/i][/b]
---- This isn't about its Level or explaining how you normally would Summon a Level 8 monster. This is [b]making it MANDATORY to HAVE TO USE[/b] 2 Tributes to Normal Summon it. As you (should) know, in this game, there are MULTI ways of even Normal Summoning monsters. There are "Double-Tribute" monsters like [b][url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Kaiser_Seahorse"]Kaiser Seahorse[/url][/b] that allow you use ONE monster for 2 Tributes. There are cards like [b][url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Mausoleum_of_the_Emperor"]Mausoleum of the Emperor[/url][/b] allow you to Normal Summon WITHOUT using monster tributes at all. The line I used is so you [b]CANNOT[/b] use [u]any alternate method[/u] of Normal Summoning; only 2 monsters you control, Tribute them, and get your monster monster from your hand. Can't use MORE than 2 either. The line is VERY specific and on purpose. The line is most well known on The Egyptian God card: [b][url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Slifer_The_Sky_Dragon"]Slifer The Sky Dragon[/url][/b]. After all, Konami doesn't want you to just play Mausoleum and then IMMEDIATELY summon [u][b]SLIFER[/b][/u]! Isn't that a little easy for an EGYPTIAN GOD CARD!

- [b][i]If this card battles [u]an opponent's face-up Attack Position monster[/u]: Banish 1 Dragon-Type monster from your Graveyard; Destroy that monster after damage calculation.[/i][/b]
---- [u]Please leave that as written[/u]. [b]Again, I was very specific.[/b] Your monster is already dealing piercing battle damage, can't be killed and you has an effect that can kill any monster AFTER ANY BATTLE. Your opponent doesn't have a lot of defense outside of using effects to blow up your monster. That's bad design! I reduced the Special Summoning [b]cost[/b] of your card because I [b]REDUCED[/b] the effectiveness and frequency of the Battle-Killer effect. With my version, your card can now ONLY kill using its effect (since it cannot kill in battle, but still deals all its battle damage normally). This also means you can kill attacking SMALL monsters and do Tunneling Damage (that's when you keep fighting a small monster that can't be killed in battle to deal damage to your opponent and purposely keep it alive to keep using it to deal damage while avoid fighting your opponent's bigger monsters, like tunneling through a big mountain). I said "face-up Attack" Position because then your opponent can save his monsters by switching it to Defense Position ([b]AT THE RISK OF COURSE OF ALLOWING YOU TO DEAL PIERCING DAMAGE[/b]). If you change that, you're allowing your monster to deal piercing damage [color=#ff0000][u][b]AND[/b][/u][/color] kill any monster it wants AT WILL. That's part of the bad design I spoke of in my first post.

With all my changes, your monster is still able to come out fast, but NOT immediately turn the tide unfairly. It can come out and kill some big Attacker your opponent has with ease and LIVE to tell the tale (not without taking a battle scar though), but doesn't stop your opponent from being to mount a defense (without using effects). It will live, deal damage, kill monsters that [b]CAN FIGHT YOU BACK[/b], but not kill monster that won't fight (it will still deal damage though). Plus you are still doing burn damage! [b]You don't need to kill Defense Position monsters with the effect, the card is already doing too much. It was reduce effectiveness or [color=#ff0000][u]remove effects entirely[/u][/color].[/b]

Also, I wrote the effect in the correct grammar. When a monster "battles", it's already Battle Step (Battle, Damage Step, Damage Calc), battling is the condition trigger necessary for the effect to activate, not "After Damage Calculation". That can (and should) be put in Effect Resolution. Which is what I did. You fight, you pay your cost, its and waits for battle to finish to execute... and then executes the monster.

Ally of Justice Castator says "At the Start of Battle Step" in its condition because it doesn't even really enter battle and no damage Step or Damage calculation even occurs.



- [b][i]Must be Special Summoned by its own effect and cannot be Special Summoned by other ways.[/i][/b]
---- I really have to explain this?

[url="http://www.konami.com/yugioh/articles/?p=3111"]http://www.konami.co...rticles/?p=3111[/url]

[quote]
[b]Destiny HERO – Dogma[/b]:
[i]Cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. [u]Must be Special Summoned (from your hand)[/u] by Tributing 3 monsters, including at least 1 “Destiny HERO” monster, [u]and cannot be Special Summoned by other ways[/u]. If you still control this face-up card during your opponent’s next Standby Phase after you Special Summoned it: Halve your opponent’s Life Points.[/i]
(This is a very powerful monster with very specific requirements to Summon it. The only way to play this monster is by using the written method to Summon it from your hand. Even if you do this, it [u]cannot be Special Summoned by other ways[/u] like Monster Reborn.)
[color=#ffffff].[/color]
[b]Vennominaga the Deity of Poisonous Snakes[/b]:
[i][u]Cannot be Normal Summoned or Set.[/u] [u]Must first be Special Summoned with “Rise of the Snake Deity”[/u] and [u]cannot be Special Summoned by other ways except by its own effect[/u]. This card gains 500 ATK for each Reptile-Type monster in your Graveyard. This card cannot be targeted by, and is unaffected by, Spell/Trap effects and other Effect Monsters’ effects. [u]When this card is destroyed by battle and sent to the Graveyard: You can banish 1 other Reptile-Type monster from your Graveyard; Special Summon this card.[/u] When this card inflicts Battle Damage to your opponent: Place 1 Hyper-Venom Counter on it. When 3 Hyper-Venom Counters are on this card, you win the Duel.[/i]
(Here’s an example of a much more complicated card. Just read the card carefully and you’ll see the most important parts:[list=1]
[*]You can’t Normal Summon this card.
[*]The first way to Summon it is with the Rise of the Snake Deity card.
[*]After that, it can’t be Summoned by other ways, except by its own effect.
[*]Its own effect is explained later in the text. It has a Trigger Effect that it can use to Summon itself from the Graveyard. This is allowed because the text specifically says it can be Summoned “by its own effect” after first being Summoned with Rise of the Snake Deity.
[*]Since the text also says you can’t use any other methods to Summon it, you can’t use Monster Reborn, etc.
[/list]
Note that even though the built-in Summon doesn’t start a Chain, the Trigger Effect does.)[/quote]


I copied from other cards that use the line that I used, but I'm showing these from Konami themselves to explain the text style and reasoning. "Except by" doesn't cut it.

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