ÆƵ– Posted August 6, 2013 Report Share Posted August 6, 2013 This is my first published set of cards, so feel free to correct my card grammar or tell me if any cards seem op or broken. Thankies. Monster: Beta Mnemonic Subject LIGHT/ level 1 Warrior Just an average subject of the Beta Mnemonic Empire, but the Emperor thinks otherwise. 300 ATK/ 300 DEF Beta Mnemonic Centurion LIGHT/ level 2 Warrior/Tuner When this card is the only card on the field: You can special summon one "Beta Mnemonic" monster from your Graveyard. It cannot attack this turn and cannot be used as Synchro Material. 600 ATK/ 300 DEF Beta Mnemonic Missionary LIGHT/ level 4 Warrior/Effect When this card is summoned and you control another "Beta Mnemonic" monster: you can special summon one level 4 or lower "Beta Mnemonic" Monster from your deck. 1200 ATK/ 1200 DEF Beta Mnemonic Advisor LIGHT/ level 5 Machine/Effect If this card would be destroyed, you can destroy one face-up "Deploy Centurions!" or "Beta Mnemonic" Spell card you control instead. If you use this effect, This card's ATK and DEF are halved until the End Phase 2200 ATK/ 1600 DEF Beta Mnemonic Philosopher LIGHT/ level 6 Machine/Effect This card gains 100 ATK for each Beta counter on the field. If this card would be destroyed, you can destroy one face-up "Deploy Centurions!" or "Beta Mnemonic" Spell card you control instead. 2000 ATK/ 1100 DEF Beta Mnemonic Emperor Alpha LIGHT/ level 9 Machine/ Synchro/ Gemini 1 "Beta Mnemonic Centurion"+ 1 or more "Beta Mnemonic" non-tuner monsters. This card is treated as a Normal Monster while face-up on the field or in the Graveyard. While this card is face-up on the field, you can Normal Summon it to have it become an Effect Monster with this effect. ● This card's original ATK becomes 3000. If this card would be destroyed, you can destroy 1 face-up "Deploy Centurions!" or "Beta Mnemonic" Spell card you control instead. 1800 ATK/ 1200 DEF Spells: Advancement of the Beta Mnemonic Continuous Spell When this card is activated, place one Beta counter on this card for each "Beta Mnemonic" monster you control. Every time a "Beta Mnemonic" Monster you control is destroyed, place one Beta counter on this card. If this card is destroyed with 6 or more Beta counters on it, you can activate one "Beta Mnemonic" Spell card from your deck, except "Advancement of the Beta Mnemonic". Deploy Centurions! Continuous Spell Once per turn, if you control no monsters: You can special summon as many "Beta Mnemonic Centurion" from your Graveyard as possible. Sacrifice Temple of the Beta Mnemonic Continuous Spell This card can only be activated if you control a face-up "Worship Temple of the Beta Mnemonics". When a Beta counter is removed from the field, place one Beta counter on this card. You can send this card and a "Beta Mnemonic" monster you control to the graveyard to gain life points equal to the number of Beta counters on this card x400 Worship Temple of the Beta Mnemonic Continuous Spell This card can only be activated if you control a face-up "Capital City of the Beta Mnemonic Empire". When a "Beta Mnemonic" monster you control is destroyed: Place one Beta counter on this card. You can remove 3 Beta counters from this card to add one "Beta Mnemonic" spell from your graveyard to your hand. Capital City of the Beta Mnemonic Empire Field Spell All "Beta Mnemonic" monsters gain 300 ATK. If a "Beta Mnemonic" monster you control is destroyed: place one Beta counter on this card. If this card would be destroyed: You can remove one Beta counter from this card instead. When this card is removed from the field by a card effect: you can summon as many "Beta Mnemonic" monsters from your grave whose combined levels equal the amount of Beta counters that were on this card. That's all for now. I may or may not be posting more cards that will go along with those written above. Once again, Thankies! Edit 1: Monster: Beta Mnemonic General LIGHT/ level 6 Machine/ Effect If this card were to be destroyed, you can destroy one face-up "Deploy Centurions!" or "Beta Mnemonic" Spell card you control instead. this card gains extra effects if you Tribute Summon this card by Tributing: ●Beta Mnemonic Subject: If this card attacks a DEF position monster whose DEF is lower than this card's ATK, inflict the difference to your opponent as battle damage. ●Beta Mnemonic Centurion: This card is treated as a level 7 monster. 2400 ATK/ 900 DEF Trap: Emperor's Override Normal Trap When a Level 9 or higher Machine-type monster you control is selected as an attack target: Negate the attack and deal damage to both players equal to half of the original ATK of the attack target. Subject's Offerings Normal Trap This card can only be activated while there is a face-up "Beta Mnemonic Subject" on your side of the field. Change the Battle Position of all "Beta Mnemonic Subject"s you control, and draw one card for each. Wrath Invoked By Whispers Normal Trap When a "Beta Mnemonic" monster you control is targeted by a card effect controlled by your opponent: You can change that card's effect to "Your opponent loses life points equal to the target monster's ATK.".("Your opponent" being the controler of the target monster) Hey all. Just wanted to inform any one who is interested that more cards have been added. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ÆƵ– Posted August 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 6, 2013 Bump, with a possibility of new cards... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ÆƵ– Posted August 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 6, 2013 Bumpity Bump, There are more cards up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ÆƵ– Posted August 7, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 7, 2013 Bumps ever so quietly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ÆƵ– Posted August 8, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 8, 2013 Whoopsies. Did I bump this again, hoping to gain reviews on my cards? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ÆƵ– Posted August 13, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 13, 2013 Bunp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ÆƵ– Posted August 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2013 I really want reviews and such on this, come on people. Please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ÆƵ– Posted August 16, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2013 Guys please. I really want to know what people think of this. I worked hard on it and I'm wondering what people think. Pease. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ÆƵ– Posted August 18, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 18, 2013 Guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tirasa Posted August 18, 2013 Report Share Posted August 18, 2013 I'm a bit tired now, but I'll edit this post with a full review later. Currently, I do have a question. The emperor is a level 9, but you lack a 7 non-tuner? I know you can get it out with 3, but it might be easier as 2. Of course, I haven't really sat down analyzed them all just yet. Does look like you've put quite a bit of work in them, however. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ÆƵ– Posted August 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 19, 2013 It's time to bu-bu-bu-bu-b-b-b-b-b-bump! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ÆƵ– Posted August 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2013 Itty bitty baby, itty bitty bump. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vla1ne Posted September 2, 2013 Report Share Posted September 2, 2013 you really want a review eh? alright, i'll give it a go: 1) when you're making a set this large, I suggest either using the cardmaker, or sorting by spoilers, I understand you might not have any images you'd find suitable, but simple organization makes the entire thing easier to work with. 2) look around this part of the forum, a lot of people make new archtypes here, but not many ever get reviews, its to be expected seeing as not enough people visit this part. 3), you don't seem to review other cards in this section and that's one of the best ways to get people to review yours. trust me, if more people in this section reviewed other cards that weren't theirs, more people would be interested in their cards. Now onto the cards: MONSTERS Subject subject is a normal monster, so it's fairly normal, nothing to see there. Centurion centurion is pretty balanced, but I suggest allowing him to Synchro, instead of that restriction, I suggest negating the effect of whatever monster he brings back. also, you may want to change the effect to only card on your side of the field, or else he'd be pretty worthless after the first turn.. Missionary Powerful, but not in a bad way, it does it's job of giving you monsters, and at least requires another monster to be present, so it's not like he's OP. good card overall. Advisor Advisor's low ATK means he doesn't need the cut in half effect after using his survivor effect. he's fairly balanced seeing as there are more ways of removal than just destruction, without the main effect, he's still just as good. Philosopher This card feels like a slight copy of advisor, the ATK boost is good, The destruction is pretty much the same as advisor, and I'll go over this mechanic in more detail when I get to the spells. Emperor Alpha To put it simply, Synchro monsters cannot be Gemini monsters, he'd be far better off as just a 3000 monster with a searcher effect and an anti destruction ability. General Not too much to say here, he has some applications, but It's pretty underwhelming as far as effects and ATK goes. SPELLS Advancement It's fairly weak as far as archetype support spell cards go, it's still better than the world tree as far as counter gaining abilities go, but it's not good enough to hold it's own, I'd say if you really want it to be a good card, have it gain counters when a beta monster is summoned, not when one is destroyed, and give it some form of destruction immunity instead of the searcher effect, that way you don't have to burn through half your monsters just to get a new one. also it should give some sort of benefit for the counters on it, not abusively powerful like gateway, but something respectably strong, like a 100 boost to your monsters per counter. DEPLOY! Take out the continuous, and it'll be good. otherwise it'll be a really good way to spam field in combination with cards like dark hole and torrential every turn. Sacrifice Temple The Life point gain should be a bit lower, like 200-300 instead, +400 can become insane if you get multiple copies out. also, the requirement of another card that requires another card might make this card an extremely dead draw. so it's trapped between an excellent effect, and borderline impossible to use if you don't draw the card you need. it might be better to make this card also rely on the field spell. Worship Temple This is probably the most balanced card in the set, good job here. restricted use, but respectable effect. Capital city this card looks like the soul of the deck and as a field spell that's good enough for me. but once again, the destroyed requirement limits this card, if you want it to work out for this one I suggest saying sent to the grave, otherwise you'll most likely have about 2 counters on it at any given time. TRAPS Override basically a negate attack for high level machines with additional burn damage, ok, I can see it, but personally, it's not as strong as it could be (within the realm of broken) why not just have it cover all machines? Offerings not bad, it gives a reason to run the servants, but it 's not OP enough to become a degenerate draw card, I like it. Whispers you need to change quite a lot about this card. just make it a counter trap and give it the normal negate/ destroy clause with additional burn damage, if you did that much it would be better. Overall, 5.5/10 with potential for an 8/10 if it was improved a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ÆƵ– Posted September 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 3, 2013 [quote name="vla1ne" post="6267021" timestamp="1378158155"]you really want a review eh? alright, i'll give it a go: 1) when you're making a set this large, I suggest either using the cardmaker, or sorting by spoilers, I understand you might not have any images you'd find suitable, but simple organization makes the entire thing easier to work with. 2) look around this part of the forum, a lot of people make new archtypes here, but not many ever get reviews, its to be expected seeing as not enough people visit this part. 3), you don't seem to review other cards in this section and that's one of the best ways to get people to review yours. trust me, if more people in this section reviewed other cards that weren't theirs, more people would be interested in their cards. Now onto the cards: [u][i][b]MONSTERS[/b][/i][/u] [b][u]Subject [/u][/b] subject is a normal monster, so it's fairly normal, nothing to see there. [b][u]Centurion[/u][/b] centurion is pretty balanced, but I suggest allowing him to Synchro, instead of that restriction, I suggest negating the effect of whatever monster he brings back. also, you may want to change the effect to only card on [b][i]your[/i][/b] side of the field, or else he'd be pretty worthless after the first turn.. [u][b]Missionary[/b][/u] Powerful, but not in a bad way, it does it's job of giving you monsters, and at least requires another monster to be present, so it's not like he's OP. good card overall. [b][u]Advisor[/u][/b] Advisor's low ATK means he doesn't need the cut in half effect after using his survivor effect. he's fairly balanced seeing as there are more ways of removal than just destruction, without the main effect, he's still just as good. [u][b]Philosopher[/b][/u] This card feels like a slight copy of advisor, the ATK boost is good, The destruction is pretty much the same as advisor, and I'll go over this mechanic in more detail when I get to the spells. [u][b]Emperor Alpha[/b][/u] To put it simply, Synchro monsters cannot be Gemini monsters, he'd be far better off as just a 3000 monster with a searcher effect and an anti destruction ability. [u][b][i]General[/i][/b][/u] Not too much to say here, he has some applications, but It's pretty underwhelming as far as effects and ATK goes. [b][i][u]SPELLS[/u][/i][/b] [u][b]Advancement[/b][/u] It's fairly weak as far as archetype support spell cards go, it's still better than the world tree as far as counter gaining abilities go, but it's not good enough to hold it's own, I'd say if you really want it to be a good card, have it gain counters when a beta monster is summoned, not when one is destroyed, and give it some form of destruction immunity instead of the searcher effect, that way you don't have to burn through half your monsters just to get a new one. also it should give some sort of benefit for the counters on it, not abusively powerful like gateway, but something respectably strong, like a 100 boost to your monsters per counter. [u][i][b]DEPLOY![/b][/i][/u] Take out the continuous, and it'll be good. otherwise it'll be a really good way to spam field in combination with cards like dark hole and torrential every turn. [u][i][b]Sacrifice Temple[/b][/i][/u] The Life point gain should be a bit lower, like 200-300 instead, +400 can become insane if you get multiple copies out. also, the requirement of another card that requires another card might make this card an extremely dead draw. so it's trapped between an excellent effect, and borderline impossible to use if you don't draw the card you need. it might be better to make this card also rely on the field spell. [b][i][u]Worship Temple[/u][/i][/b] This is probably the most balanced card in the set, good job here. restricted use, but respectable effect. [u][i][b]Capital city[/b][/i][/u] this card looks like the soul of the deck and as a field spell that's good enough for me. but once again, the destroyed requirement limits this card, if you want it to work out for this one I suggest saying sent to the grave, otherwise you'll most likely have about 2 counters on it at any given time. [u][i][b]TRAPS[/b][/i][/u] [u][i][b]Override[/b][/i][/u] basically a negate attack for high level machines with additional burn damage, ok, I can see it, but personally, it's not as strong as it could be (within the realm of broken) why not just have it cover all machines? [b][u][i]Offerings[/i][/u][/b] not bad, it gives a reason to run the servants, but it 's not OP enough to become a degenerate draw card, I like it. [b][i][u]Whispers[/u][/i][/b] you need to change quite a lot about this card. just make it a counter trap and give it the normal negate/ destroy clause with additional burn damage, if you did that much it would be better. Overall, 5.5/10 with potential for an 8/10 if it was improved a bit.[/quote] First, Holy goodness, thank you. I have been wanting a review for the longest time, so thank you so so so so so so much! Second, I can see where you are coming from on the lot of these cards, but a few I wanted to be truly unique. Third, thank you for the advice that isn't about the cards. I will surly take it into account in my future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.