EPTinYugi Posted November 28, 2013 Report Share Posted November 28, 2013 Born motherless, fatherless, I entered this world with a roar and without a sound, I left earth's presence, not to be seen again What am I? Hello! This is my second card on here! Rate, comment, or fix OCG and help improve it. [spoiler= It comes from the Heavens!] 1 LIGHT Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters This card gains 1 counter each time a monster leaves the field. When this monster is destroyed or Tributed: You can banish it instead and destroy all cards on the field. Inflict 200 damage to your opponent x the number of counters on this card when this effect activated. When this card is targeted by a DARK monster: You can remove any number of counters from this card, and pay 200 life points for each counter removed to activate 1 of these effects based on the targeting: *Battle: This card gains 300 ATK and DEF for each counter removed until the End Phase. *Effect: If the number of counters removed equals to the Level or Rank of the targeting monster; negate it's effect and destroy it. [/spoiler] Have a great day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death00 Posted November 29, 2013 Report Share Posted November 29, 2013 the answer is a phoenix. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EPTinYugi Posted November 29, 2013 Author Report Share Posted November 29, 2013 the answer is a phoenix. Wanted a critique on this card but that answer is wrong. I'll just edit the OP a little if nobody can see well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Shin~ Posted November 29, 2013 Report Share Posted November 29, 2013 I do not enjoy these specified counter cards, but I guess this card is more about flavor than competitivity. So I will comment on that first. IMO something with a falling star would be impactfull, both the card's stats and effect do not represent this... That is all I can think of (x__x) Now comes playability. 3600 is just too high, even when on a card that could be unproductive. The second effect do not work on Xyz monsters, make it do. Does it really need a OPT clause? Anyways, any extra deck will have a variant of elements, if not, this card can be just ignored. So, in short, give it something you can trigger. Hope this helps. shooting star? :ph34r: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EPTinYugi Posted November 29, 2013 Author Report Share Posted November 29, 2013 I do not enjoy these specified counter cards, but I guess this card is more about flavor than competitivity. So I will comment on that first. IMO something with a falling star would be impactfull, both the card's stats and effect do not represent this... That is all I can think of (x__x) Now comes playability. 3600 is just too high, even when on a card that could be unproductive. The second effect do not work on Xyz monsters, make it do. Does it really need a OPT clause? Anyways, any extra deck will have a variant of elements, if not, this card can be just ignored. So, in short, give it something you can trigger. Hope this helps. shooting star? :ph34r: This card has non-specified counters, if that's what you mean. Yeah I went with how the pictured looked to name it. I edited that part down. What's an OPT clause? I forgot to put Rank and now I got it in along with something else. Yes it does, thanks! B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Shin~ Posted November 30, 2013 Report Share Posted November 30, 2013 "specified counter cards", what I meant by this was that it couldn't do anything against non-DARK monsters, therefore it is a specified counter for DARK monsters... ('-') Also, an OPT (once per turn) clause is a one which states that an effect can only be used once per turn. Something which I think the last effect do not need. Ok, the nuke effect, Black Rose Dragon does it better, honestly. It is fitting flavor-wise, but is bad on all other grounds. IMO This "If this card destroys that monster, inflict half of its ATK to your opponent." is totally an unnecessary addition. ...I guess these additions are results of my suggestions, but they don't exactly match my thoughts. A rephrase of my post earlier would be: Keep thing as they are. Add an effect (with a reasonable cost) which you can activate on your own, IMO the general feel of this effect should be "impactfull". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EPTinYugi Posted December 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2013 "specified counter cards", what I meant by this was that it couldn't do anything against non-DARK monsters, therefore it is a specified counter for DARK monsters... ('-') Also, an OPT (once per turn) clause is a one which states that an effect can only be used once per turn. Something which I think the last effect do not need. I thought you meant counters like "Spell Counters." I made it to be against DARK Monsters so it can contrasts to this other card I made. I should have probably guessed that one out. I've also made some more changes to suit my needs a little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AzNPaladin Posted December 2, 2013 Report Share Posted December 2, 2013 The answer is Lightning/Thunder. A small fix 1 LIGHT Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters This card gains 1 counter each time a monster leaves the field. When this monster is destroyed or Tributed: You can banish it instead and destroy all cards on the field. Inflict 200 damage to your opponent x the number of counters on this card when this effect activated. When this card is targeted by a DARK monster: You can remove any number of counters from this card, and pay 200 life points for each counter removed to activate 1 of these effects based on the targeting: *Battle: This card gains 300 ATK and DEF for each counter removed until the End Phase. *Effect: If the number of counters removed equals to the Level or Rank of the targeting monster; negate it's effect and destroy it. I'm a bad OCG fixer......... so yeah. >_< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EPTinYugi Posted December 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2013 The answer is Lightning/Thunder. A small fix 1 LIGHT Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters This card gains 1 counter each time a monster leaves the field. When this monster is destroyed or Tributed: You can banish it instead and destroy all cards on the field. Inflict 200 damage to your opponent x the number of counters on this card when this effect activated. When this card is targeted by a DARK monster: You can remove any number of counters from this card, and pay 200 life points for each counter removed to activate 1 of these effects based on the targeting: *Battle: This card gains 300 ATK and DEF for each counter removed until the End Phase. *Effect: If the number of counters removed equals to the Level or Rank of the targeting monster; negate it's effect and destroy it. I'm a bad OCG fixer......... so yeah. >_< Don't worry I needed something to fix; I wished I saw this earlier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AzNPaladin Posted December 2, 2013 Report Share Posted December 2, 2013 Don't worry I needed something to fix; I wished I saw this earlier. Oh and I don't think proper OCG contains "x." Sorry about that. >_< So it should be 1 LIGHT Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters This card gains 1 counter each time a monster leaves the field. When this monster is destroyed or Tributed: You can banish it instead and destroy all cards on the field. Inflict 200 damage to your opponent times the number of counters on this card when this effect activated. When this card is targeted by a DARK monster: You can remove any number of counters from this card, and pay 200 life points for each counter removed to activate 1 of these effects based on the targeting: *Battle: This card gains 300 ATK and DEF for each counter removed until the End Phase. *Effect: If the number of counters removed equals to the Level or Rank of the targeting monster; negate it's effect and destroy it. (P.S. - Is my answer correct? I'm curious.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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