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[Fanfiction] Thar's YCM Pairings (PG-16)

Thar

By Thar
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Thar Rookie

Thar

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Just have Alice say something along the lines of, "He's boring and dumb so I dumped him" at some point. Simple as that really.

 

Well f*ck, why didn't I think of that?

 

Oh, and Remo: I might take you up on that. I have an amazing idea.

 

Also: I have a theory on destinyexodia, though I don't know who to pair him with...

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goddamnit names are a pain Newbie

goddamnit names are a pain

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Well f*ck, why didn't I think of that?

 

Oh, and Remo: I might take you up on that. I have an amazing idea.

 

Also: I have a theory on destinyexodia, though I don't know who to pair him with...

Destiny exodia should have something to do with one of the mods or one of their relationships.

I'm leaning on coolspy and mugen but I see he pisses off Yin too

except yin should only be in one fanfic imo ;-;

Destinyexodia is 12 though so a crackfic isn't really fitting....wait you did coolspy.

 

OK I'VE GOT IT NOW

DESTINYEXODIAxCOOLSPY

He wants to copy everyone so let him try to copy Mugen *shot*

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Thar Rookie

Thar

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Thar, I was giving my objection to what Dae said. If that's a problem, discuss it with me over PM.


There are three things you could've done to avoid spamming the thread:

1. Ignored him.
2. PMed him.
3. Put more than two words into the post.

There's absolutely no reason to discuss this in PM. Don't f*cking spam. It's that simple.

Destiny exodia should have something to do with one of the mods or one of their relationships.
I'm leaning on coolspy and mugen but I see he pisses off Yin too
except yin should only be in one fanfic imo ;-;
Destinyexodia is 12 though so a crackfic isn't really fitting....wait you did coolspy.
 
OK I'VE GOT IT NOW
DESTINYEXODIAxCOOLSPY
He wants to copy everyone so let him try to copy Mugen *shot*


Eeeehhhh, still iffy about Coolspy...
Also, thinking outside the box... who said Destinyexodia had to be 12 IRL...
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Thar Rookie

Thar

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Anyway, are you intending to do the one with Dae and I? Or are you even aware of which you plan to do next?

Know that you have full support and encouragement of our idea from me, and probably from Daemon, in addition to very little opposition.

 

Yes, I plan to do you x Dae and Remo x his right hand.

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Thar Rookie

Thar

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Remo-x-his right hand sounds like the kind of wacky pairing I'd read. I look forward to that one.

 

Oh it's wacky, alright. Just finished it, and it's being beta-read (hopefully) as we speak.

 

Should be up by tomorrow, if Night gets back to me by then. In the meantime, prepare yourselves for something different.

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Thar Rookie

Thar

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Alright, here it is.

[spoiler=On The Other Hand - Remo x Right Hand (3,291 words.)]Remo woke up with a lurching boner elevating his sweatpants like a mountain. This was no morning boner, as it did not hurt nor did it not have a purpose.

“Well sh*t, looks like I’m fapping before breakfast this morning,” he said with a scoff, throwing his cover off of him as he turned to put his feet on the ground. He sat looking at his floor, seeing his crotch mountain stab at the air. Whatever Remo was about to do, he knew something down south could read his mind, “Dude, chillax! At least let me walk there with my other two legs first!” Remo finally stood up and walked towards his laptop, sitting himself down on the chair that wheeled into his desk. He opened his computer, not wasting any time to pop open the internet and type in one letter before three different porn sites appeared on a dropdown menu.

“Lessee, where to go today…” A few clicks brought Remo to the front page of a few sites, respectfully being tossed aside to go to another. At last, he found a page with something interesting, and proceeded to reach inside his pants at the sight of the thumbnail.

“Oh, of course…” A strange vice startled Remo, making him look around the room. His eyes were wide enough to let the air sting on the surface, but from what he saw, there was nobody else in the room. His hand was still in his pants when he turned back toward the screen, “Hey, dummy!” The voice said again, this time making Remo track the voice to where his left hand was, which was on the mouse, “Ah yes, now you FINALLY see me!”

“Hold on a second…”

“As you can see… I’ve been holding onto something for YEARS, yet it was never something I wanted.” Remo confirmed that it was his left hand speaking to him. His brow rose at the situation; was he high? Or was he just still half-asleep in a sleepwalk?

“Alright, is it just me or is my left hand talking?”

The left hand scoffed, “I dunno, man. If it was just you, you’d be mental.” Remo could hear another voice, this time muffled and what sounded like laughs of joy, “Oh listen to that! Looks like someone’s having fun down there!” Again, Remo traced the muffled voice down to his pants. Stretching his strap forward, he revealed his right hand grasped onto his dick, hearing its joyous cheers.

“Have you guys been able to talk all this time?” Remo was not shocked, but rather ecstatic.

Right hand let go of Remo’s dick, but to Remo, it felt like he was only loosening his grip, “Well yeah,” Right hand said without the groped staff muffling his voice, “If you think about it, everyone’s body parts can talk.”

Remo pondered, “So can my dick talk?”

Left hand scoffed again, “That one-eyed pea-brain couldn’t comprehend thought even if it was struck by lightning!”

Remo rose his brow once again, “Lightning?”

“Yeah, wouldn’t that just destroy his dick more than anything?” Right hand followed, climbing up Remo’s pants back onto the desk. Remo watched as his hands were placed like people standing up, which his middle and ring fingers acting as legs while his pointer and pinky fingers were arms.

Left hand tightened in anger, “Righty, I’m sick and tired of your smart-ass attitude!”

“Who’s being a smart-ass?” Righty shot back, “I’m too busy inside Remo’s pants to see the magical search engine that is Google. Hell, you might have learned more than even Remo.”

“I can’t look at the screen because I’m too busy clicking the damn mouse.” Lefty scoffed again, “Remo, may I ask you something? Of either of your hands, why do you use ME to move the mouse while Righty is inside your pants? He’s on the same f*cking side as the mouse! I have to stretch all the way across the desk and use opposite limbs to use the damn thing!”

“Well,” Remo pondered the question, “With my right hand, I have more control.”

“Well that’s just it, isn’t it!?” Lefty shouted, “More control! What, is your dick some kind of joystick?”

“Well, if you wanna think about i-”

“NO! Shut up! Forget I made that analogy!” Lefty was extremely tense, which to Remo felt like he was about to make a fist, “Righty, why can’t you, just once, let me grope Remo’s dick? Just ONCE!”

“Well,” Righty shrugged by raising its pointer and pinky knuckles, “Maybe because Remo is too used to me to try something different?”

“Oh look at you, trying to sound smart again! You know, just because Remo’s right handed doesn’t mean he HAS to use you…”

“I say Remo has the right to decide. After all, we are HIS body.”

“F*CK HIS BODY!” The exclamation came to realization when Remo looked up, imagining the scene where Lefty’s cuss was taken literally, “NO, Remo, I didn’t mean it THAT way! Back to reality, ya low-life!”

“Hey!” Righty got defensive, “Don’t be calling my Remo a low-life!”

“YOUR Remo?!” Lefty grew red with rage as it slowly neared Righty. Remo thought he was playing action figures with his hands, “Oh, so now you’re calling DIBS, huh? Well, that’s where you’re WRONG!”

“But I’m the RIGHT hand.”

“NO, YOU ARE WRONG!”

“No, YOU are wrong. You’re the left hand, which means you’re not righ-”

“SHUT UP!” Lefty lunged at Righty, striking it in between its knuckles. Remo felt his right hand turning numb as Righty began to groan from the numbing feeling, “You’ve been treated with the luxury of Remo’s dick LONG enough! I’ll f*cking END you!” Lefty lifted Righty with its pointer and pinky finger arms like a dead lift, throwing with unbelievable force that sent Righty flying across Remo’s cheek, slapping himself.

“Alright, enough is enough!” Remo shouted as Righty rested on his shoulder. Lefty only looked up at the towering head of Remo’s, smirking.

“You think you can tell ME what to do?” Lefty jumped, landing on Remo’s shoulder. Remo’s arms were wrapped around his face as if he was blocking a bright sun. With Righty grasped around the wrist, Lefty began to shake Righty violently. As Righty gurgled from being strangled, Remo watched as he shook his wrist like a goof.

“Guys, I look like an idiot.”

“Probably because you ARE!” Lefty responded. Remo gasped at the comment, letting himself go as he fell to the floor and letting Lefty hit the ground first. Lefty grunted on impact as Righty gasped intensely as he finally had an opening to breathe.

Righty chuckled, “Guess I’m the one left standing.”

Lefty took a minute to find his voice, “…no, I’M left!” Both Righty and Remo laughed at the pun, making Lefty furious, “…oh, you think that’s funny?! You f*cking bastards, I’ll kill the both of you!”

Righty continued laughing, “How can you kill a hand? Cut its head off?”

Lefty smiled as he achieved a strange level of calmness. From what many may gather, his anger turned to cunning as he hatched an idea, and both Remo and Righty gathered this. The idea was not difficult to find out.

“Whoa wait,” Remo panicked, “You’re not gonna…”

“Oh yes,” Lefty lurched towards the door leading to the hallway, which led to the kitchen. The kitchen was small, which made finding the knife block easy. At the sight, Remo gasped and attempted to resist the efforts of his left hand, but to no avail. Within seconds, he found himself grabbing onto the hilt of one of the kitchen knives, pulling it out to reveal its stainless steel blade shining in the kitchen light.

“Lefty, c’mon! Don’t do this, please!!” Remo’s voice rendered itself desperate as Lefty cackled with its grip tightening around the hilt, swinging it around and making Remo think he was a schizophrenic psychopath. Anyone who would’ve walked in on this would think of Remo that way.

“Lefty, you can’t be THIS crazy….” Righty was hiding behind Remo’s shoulder, which, to Remo, felt like he was putting his palm against it. Lefty continued to swing the blade until it stopped to point it directly at Righty, bringing it around for a full swing. With Lefty’s legs set for a lunge on the counter, it lunged and grabbed Righty by the wrist. Lefty’s strength was too much for Righty to resist as Righty was carried onto the counter and held against the surface.

“See ya!”

“No, Lefty, NO!!!” A swing of the knife cut Righty off of Remo’s arm clean, leaving a stump. Both the end of the arm and the beginning of Righty’s palm bled out profusely as Remo collapsed from the pain, screaming and squeezing his left wrist.

“Oh yes!” Lefty sang, “Yess, finally! Let me embrace what used to be Righty’s but is now MINE!” Lefty wrapped itself around the arm that Righty used to be attached to, letting the blood gushing from the stump bathe it. Remo began to lose consciousness as he dropped to his knees, resting his head on the counter. His last vision was of his severed right hand slowly crawling towards the phone which laid by its charger, pressing the numbers “911”.

“NO! DON’T!” Lefty shouted upon realizing what Righty was doing as it lunged at Righty, but the call was already made. At this time, Lefty was in midair rushing in Righty’s direction. In a last-minute reflex, the knife that Lefty had used was lying nearby as Righty grabbed it, turned over and let Lefty impale itself with a wide-eyed gasp that cut off at the feeling of a blade through its palm. By this time, Remo had blacked out, and Righty rolled over to talk into the phone for emergency. Lefty tried to milk out some last words, but failed as it went numb.

--------------------------------------
Remo woke up in a different place. At first it was blurry, but as his vision cleared, he made the place out to be a garage-like room with a few shelves and equipment. Turning his head to the side, he saw Armz putting tools away, later realizing that he was laying on a cheap futon covered with plastic wrap. He began to panic, immediately calming himself as Armz turned around.

“Well, look who’s awake!” Armz said with joy, putting down his tools and walking up to Remo, “I thought you’d be out for much longer given the amount of blood that you lost.”

Remo squinted, “Wait… why am I not at a hospital? Didn’t I dial 911?”

“You did…” Armz shifted his eyes to the side in a skeptical manner, “…but I kinda grabbed you before they got there. I passed by your house and heard you making a lot of noise, and I knew you didn’t have anyone over.”

“So you break into my house and kidnap me?”

“Well… yes, but I can explain. You see, in the situation you were in, people would’ve been asking questions regarding who you were talking to and why you chopped one of your hands off and stabbed through the other.”

Remo’s eyes widened as he raised his hands, seeing that his left hand had been healed with a scar while his right hand had been replaced with a robot hand, “Oh sh*t!” He shouted before Armz pushed him back down, which calmed him again.

“Relax, I assure you, I put great care into putting them in. Move your fingers for me.” Remo did as Armz said, watching as the mechanical fingers moved with his intended thoughts.

“Wow, I can even feel it,” Remo said before he dropped his head, frowning slightly, “Hey Armz… you don’t happen to have Righty laying-”

“Righty?”

Remo coughed, “I’m sorry… you don’t happen to know where my right hand is, do you?”

Armz looked at Remo with regretful eyes, “Sorry Remo, but a severed hand’s a severed hand. I disposed of it.” Remo was stunned, almost passing out but still conscious of Armz standing next to him. Armz sighed, shaking his head, “Was it special to you, Remo?”

Remo was whispering, “…yes. Yes it was.”

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you, man. Try using your left hand, I guess.” Armz walked away, leaving Remo to stand on his own.

“Where in town am I, by the way?”

“Shouldn’t be too far,” Armz walked toward a map of the city, tracing the path to Remo’s house, “Just take a few turns while heading east and you should find your way back just fine.” After patting Armz’s shoulder as a thank you, Remo exited the building and did just as Armz told him, ending up back at his house.

-----------------------------
Sitting back in front of his laptop, Remo’s left hand still felt a bit numb from the night before, which comforted him, “Well, at least Lefty’s dead… I hope.”

“You really are an idiot, aren’t you?” A chuckle came from Lefty, which Remo sighed in frustration after.

“Lefty, you little bastard!”

“But I’m YOUR bastard now! No longer is your precious Righty gonna take all the glory.” Remo’s robotic right hand twitched, almost as if it scoffed at Lefty’s remark.

“I’m not gonna fap with you, Lefty. It just doesn’t feel right.”

“Well, you’re certainly not gonna wrap THAT thing around your shaft, are ya?!” Remo looked at the artificial hand, shuffling the fingers at the balls for knuckles with a frown. He sighed, shaking his head as he returned his gaze to the computer screen, “I know what you’re thinking, Remo.”

“Shut up.”

“You want me to be quiet? Smother me in your-”

“Holy f*ck, shut up.” Remo snapped, bashing Lefty with the robotic arm. With a grunt, Lefty chuckled.

“So THAT’s the way you want it, huh?” Lefty jumped off the edge onto Remo’s lap, wrapping itself around Remo’s dick.

“GACK!” The grip landed around part of Remo’s balls, which sent a shock of pain through his entire lower abdomen.

“Yes, Remo, FEEL THE PAIN I WENT THROUGH TO GET YOU!” Lefty began to stroke up and down. The pleasure that would’ve been felt was mostly replaced with pain as Remo attempted to resist the motions, failing. He began to moan, but only in frustration, “Ah yes, Remo, are you beginning to feel it?”

Remo was too focused on the pain he was experiencing to answer, “..n-”

“N- …need more? Okay!” Lefty stroked harder and faster, amplifying the pain in Remo’s pelvis.

“Lefty…”

“Yes, say my name!”

“Lefty… you’re hurting me- GAHHH!!” Lefty’s force doubled, leaving Remo speechless. At that moment, Remo’s eyes began to blur out along with his pelvis growing numb. It was when Remo heard a familiar voice by his door that he regained consciousness.

“Let him go, left… or should I say, cleft!” Righty stumbled into the room with a knife in its hand, the one Lefty used to dismember it.

Lefty scoffed, “Cleft? You don’t even know what that means, do you?”

“No, it just rhymed with left, so I used it to insult you!” Righty lunged with the knife wound back for a full swing, taking it just as Lefty jumped out of the way. Remo flinched, jolting back just as the blade missed his dick.

“You know why I always hated you, right? It’s because of your pathetic and failed attempts to crack a joke!” Lefty tackled Righty just after Rightly flanked it, pinning Righty to the floor while dragging Remo with, as his arm was still attached. Righty struggled to escape the constraint as Lefty hurled punches with its fingers, disarming it. The blade lay ajar from Righty’s arm.

“How are you even still alive?!”

Righty smiled, “That sciency guy tried to dispose of me in acid. Luckily I was able to get out in time for it to clot the stump before I bled out.”

“I still don’t f*cking understand… your blood’s not being pumped by Remo’s heart. THERE’S NO CIRCULATION.”

“Heh.” Righty scoffed, leaving Lefty to be enraged by the hanging question, “I’m no ordinary hand, Lefty. I have a heart of my own!”

“Impossible!” Lefty threw Righty into the wood of the desk, only to hear Righty laughing louder.

“Sounds strange, doesn't it?” Righty stood up, eyeing the knife that he once was wielding, “I managed to snag another heart while I was still in that guy’s lab. I was too small for him to notice me behind all his equipment.”

“Well, that’s just d- wait, WHAT?!”

Remo was just as shocked as Lefty, “Righty… what did you do?”

Righty stood tall and proud, “I attached a squirrel’s heart to my bloodstream. When my stump clotted up, I managed to string together the veins that were sticking out. Everything else was just a matter of shoving it bac-”

“Ugh, I’ve heard enough!” Lefty held Righty up against the desk and wailed, but Righty sacked it in the palm, making it hunch over as Righty rolled out of the way towards the knife. With the weapon re-wielded, Righty turned around to see Lefty charging once again, foolishly falling right into the swing of the knife that cut both of its legs off. Lefty fell to the floor as Remo screamed in pain.

“GODDAMN IT, NOT AGAIN!” Remo shouted.

“Sorry master Remo, but it had to be done.” Righty dropped the knife and hovered over Lefty’s writhing, dying self, “Well, Lefty… I think it’s time you finally died this time.”

“F… f*ck you…” Lefty spat blood before he grew numb from the blood loss, gurgling from the blood that was coming out of its mouth.

“F*ck me? No, you won’t be f*cking anyone, more notably Remo. He’s mine, you hear me? I don’t want you touching him again!” Lefty’s last breaths cussed Righty out as Righty walked over to Remo’s mechanical hand. Righty stroked it, “So, this is what’s replacing me?”

Remo coughed, losing consciousness from the blood escaping his left fingers, “No, Righty. You can never be replaced, I assure you. I’m really glad you’re alright.”

“As am I. I was so worried about what Lefty would've done to you.”

“Well, if cut off fingers wasn’t painful enough…”

“Again, I’m sorry.” Righty hopped onto Remo’s kneeling lap.

“Question, though,” Remo said, “I pretty much just got back here. How’d you get here so quickly?”

“Oh yeah, I had a little help.” Righty turned to the doorway to reveal Armz walking down the hall, staring with bewildered eyes as Remo lied bleeding out and staining his carpet.

“Damn, Remo, am I gonna have to turn you into a cyborg to keep you from cutting off your limbs?” Armz was kneeling to see to Remo’s cut off fingers, pulling out a roll of gauze and anti-bacterial ointment. The application stung like a hundred bees, but the bleeding stopped almost immediately.

“Excuse me, Armz, but…” Armz turned his head toward Righty, understanding the gesture.

“I guess you two have some catching up to do.” Armz stood up, knowing Remo’s fingers were clotted enough to not care for anymore, “Have fun. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.” Armz left the room, shutting the door behind him. Remo sighed and looked at Righty, who was looking back at him with gleeful eyes.

“Remo… I…”

Remo held a mechanical finger on Righty’s lips, “Say no more. I love you too.” Righty smiled around the finger, hugging it while hoisting itself up and walking down Remo’s arm to his crotch, grabbing onto it. Remo winced a bit from the previous pain, but sighed it off.

“Gently, Righty. I’ve been through a lot.”

“Yes, of course, master.” Righty proceeded to stroke as lightly as he could, letting the moment escalate gradually for another night of virgin pleasure.[/spoiler]

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Rodrigo Newbie

Rodrigo

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I was giggling myself during the entire read. This plot deserves a fucking trilogy.

 

Well done man. I'm sorry I can't give you proper feedback, but then again this didn't have any grammar or meaning mistakes that I could notice.

 

This was a great way to end my Thursday.

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