[Fanfiction] Thar's YCM Pairings (PG-16)

[Thar]

 

I wonder why~

 

You're still getting a cameo, though, if not in the next one.

[Agro]

You're still getting a cameo, though, if not in the next one.

no but i actually wonder why

[Thar]

Cause you expect too much, which buzzkills the idea.

 

You can celebrate all you want, but a simple "I don't wanna be involved in a pairing" will do just nicely.

[Agro]

I told you in my ama that I'm alright with being put in a pairing. :\

[Thar]

Then what's with the whole victory dance thing at me saying you're boring? Sounds to me like you were glad that I don't wanna do it.

[Agro]

Silly Thar~ You're saying that about one of the most sarcastic people on this site. (or in general, for that matter)
 
Other reason was that I took "anything involving Agro sounds boring" as "real Agro is too interesting for fake Agro to compare"~

[Desu the Blue Nerd]

I dunno, I do think Agro and I have a pretty good dynamic going on. If only Agro would stop deleting his statuses.

[Kazooie]

I dunno, I do think Agro and I have a pretty good dynamic going on. If only Agro would stop deleting his statuses.

 

without the evidence there can be no pairing :'<

also you can never be as boring as me argo so suck it :'D

[Agro]

also you can never be as boring as me argo so suck it :'D

WE SHALL HAVE A BORING OFF!

I dunno, I do think Agro and I have a pretty good dynamic going on. If only Agro would stop deleting his statuses.

but, but, what about the ~air of mystery~!

[Lunar Origins]

Agro, you should shut up now.

 

Mugen x Coolspy, part 2!  Do it!  <3  I would love you forever.

[Kazooie]

WE SHALL HAVE A BORING OFF!

but, but, what about the ~air of mystery~!

 

you cannot out-boring me bitch :'>

 

@Thar: So what do you plan on doing now? Is it time for a break or did you have a pairing in mind? :'o

[Agro]

Agro, you should shut up now.

Nah. I'm good.
 

you cannot out-boring me b**** :'>
 
@Thar: So what do you plan on doing now? Is it time for a break or did you have a pairing in mind? :'o

So you think.

I am also curious as to what will come next.

[~British Soul~]

I also share the curiosity, of what pairing will come next.

[Thar]

you cannot out-boring me b**** :'>
 
@Thar: So what do you plan on doing now? Is it time for a break or did you have a pairing in mind? :'o

I'm gonna do Desu x Pika as an "epilogue". After that, British x Closet is most likely gonna happen.

[Desu the Blue Nerd]

I like how you say Agro's too boring but then make a fic about British and have made multiple with Night.

[Thar]

I like how you say Agro's too boring but then make a fic about British and have made multiple with Night.

 

Sorry for not shipping people who you alone think are interesting. :/

[Toffee.]

you cannot out-boring me b**** :'>

 
So you think.

Pit x Bowser wouldn't be boring.
Just sayin'

[Thar]

Pika x Desu is in the works.

 

Also, I'm giving some credit to Risa for being in the Skype chat that inspired a better plot than I originally planned.

[Rapidfire]

The OTP is still me and food 

[Thar]

You had your moment, though the REAL OTP here is Rapid x Falling Pizza.

[Agro]

Pizza is a food.

[Rapidfire]

You had your moment, though the REAL OTP here is Rapid x Falling Pizza.

My dad ships it, he might actually be opening an Italian restaurant. (Obviously because he's been reading to many RapidXPizza fics) 

[Thar]

Yes, Agro, pizza is indeed a food.

The joke is that Falling Pizza is a former admin that got turned into a pizza, which is why he's no longer active.

[Thar]

EDIT:
 
[spoiler=Finishing Blow - Desu x Pika (3,764 words)]Pika woke up gasping as if she hadn’t been breathing for hours. It was dark, hot, and sweaty where she found herself, and adrenaline immediately took control when she dug into the fabric that she felt cloaked around her and tore it open, letting in a gush of cool air that almost knocked her back out from an overwhelming good feeling. She still felt the drive of new life within her as she continued to feel around, later finding out that she’s been lying in the back of an empty ambulance with several other bodies.
 
“…have I been… dead?” Pika whispered, not yet finding the strength to speak normally as even her vocal chords were under the influence of adrenaline. She wasted no time talking and flailed around for the back, where she soon felt a handle that opened easier than she thought. A simple push down was enough to find herself rolling on the street after so much as a blink. The pain was irrelevant as she crawled off the road and stood up, walking in whatever direction she found that was away from the road. Looking back, she scoffed with a smile.
 
“I swear, those ambulance drivers wouldn’t see a dead person walking away if they were survivors of the apo…” Her words faded as the adrenaline drained from her, rendering her vision blurry along with her balance.
 
“No, Pika, keep it together. Find someplace to recuperate. You can’t die yet. Not here!” With a deep breath through her nostrils, she gritted her teeth hard as she pulled out the gun strapped to her belt, sticking the barrel into her palm and pulling the trigger. The pain surged more adrenaline through her, driving her to continue pressing forward as she applied pressure to her palm to slow the bleeding.
 
The barren county landscape soon came to an end when a small plaza came into view. Pika marveled at the sight as she limped towards it like a zombie at the sight of human flesh, but with the small amount of life in her, the drive was less stammering. As she set foot on the parking lot, she made sure that there were no cops around before she raced for the corner, where a gap between buildings provided shade and a place to lay low. She chose to sit next to the dumpster that was assumingly there for the grocery store that it was placed back against, which comforted her even more. Perhaps there was wasted food in there that she could scavenge?
 
“Oh god, I don’t wanna think about food right now…” Pika sighed as she slouched down along the wall and shut her eyes. Part of her tried to shake off the tired feeling, “Although, I don’t think it’d be a big deal if I just died here. At least it’s not in that hot, sweaty old ambulance…” As her vision began to fade, footsteps could be heard around another corner of the store, soon revealing to be that of two girls, one with blue hair and pink hair, who both noticed Pika.
 
“Oh! Oh oh oh, Ene! Lookie what found!” Maki’s voice was very feminine and high-pitched, almost like that of a mouse, “Doesn’t she look familiar to you?”
 
Ene was reading the graffiti on the opposite side of the dumpster before she followed Maki’s voice around it to see Pika, “Oh my god, it is! It’s Pika!”
 
“Gah, not so loud!” Pika whispered loudly with gritted teeth as she flinched awake, nearly falling over sideways, “They’ll hear you!”
 
“Who’ll hear us?” Maki chuckled, Ene echoing, “This part of town is as dead as Ene’s pet goldfish!”
 
Ene gasped, frowning with moist eyes. Maki looked over, suddenly feeling bad. “Oh no! Ene, I’m sorry, that was too soon!” Ene was already in tears when Maki went to comfort her with a hand on her shoulder.
 
“Guys…” Pika sighed with a grunt, “…I can trust you two, right?”
 
Both girls looked over, Ene instantly snapping out of her grief, “Of course!” Glistening grins appeared on both of them at the same time.
 
“I know it sounds strange, but…” Pika struggled to sit upright, “…I’m supposed to be dead. I somehow managed to escape an ambulance that was carrying me, but I’m not sure if my fate was supposed to be cheated like this.”
 
“So you’re dying?” Maki asked, making them both gasp in fright, “Oh no, you can’t die! What will senpai say?”
 
“Senpai’s been waiting for this moment for YEARS!”
 
“Wait… senpai?” Pika was losing her vision again. She looked at the dumpster next to her, hoisting her entire body up to plow into the metal. On impact, more adrenaline flooded her.
 
“Desu-senpai!” Maki and Ene said, looking at each other after seeing Pika slam herself into the dumpster, “He has a thing for you.”
 
“By the way, why did you slam yourself into the dumpster?” Ene leaned over with a brow raised, “Are you trying to hurt yourself?”
 
“Yes, I guess you can say that.” Pika groaned.
 
“Oh, I think I know what she’s doing!” Maki perked up, clapping her hands at her own realization, “You basically cheated death, right? So you’re dying, which means you’re doing anything you can to stay alive and kicking, right? Right?”
 
“Yes, exactly.” Pika continued to talk through gritted teeth as she squeezed the limb that was slammed, summoning more adrenaline.
 
“This is perfect!” Ene started clapping like Maki did, “Desu-senpai will love this! We should bring her to him!”
 
“Wait, no, no you’re not bringing me to Desu! Anyone but him!” Pika struggled to try and back away from the twins, who slowly began to creep up on her with their hands held out.
 
“Don’t be shy, Pika-chan!” They both said, “Desu-senpai will make you feel alive!” With those final words ringing in her head, Pika scrambled to her feet and began running away, only to be caught in the twins’ grasp. Ene had a pipe in her hand which she picked up by the dumpster, which she used to pound Pika in the head, knocking her unconscious.
 
----------------------------------------------------------
Pika woke up to a shock in her neck which spread down her spine. The shock made her jump with her back arched as a need to scream lurched forward in her throat but never made much more of a sound than a grunt. As her arched back fell flat once more, her head fell sideways where she saw Ene standing next to her with a controller in her hand.
 
“Oops, I guess that’s the shock button.” She giggled as she looked to the side to see Desu leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.
 
“I think it’s about time she woke up. Not that I care what happens to her.” Desu spoke with a sarcastic tone as he pushed himself away from the wall towards Ene, reaching out to her, “I’ll take that remote now, Ene, my dear.”
 
“Of course, Desu-senpai!” Ene hopped on two feet as she willingly let Desu take the remote from her hands, giggling. With the remote in his hand, Desu pressed the button again, making Pika lurch back into an arched position.
 
“Gakk!” Pika grunted again, “You’re one sadistic f*ck.”
 
“Oh, but I know you like it.” Desu said with a grin, “In fact… you NEED it, don’t you?”
 
“Good point.” Pika said with a tone of realization, raising a brow at herself with her eyes on the ceiling, “But that doesn’t mean you’re not a sadistic f*ck.”
 
“Did I ever say I wasn’t?” Desu snarled, bending over to grab Pika’s face and squeeze it to make a fish face, “Also, did I ever say you could talk?”
 
Pika’s voice was constrained from the fish face, “What the f*ck do you mean I can’t ta-”
 
“You’re my property now.” Desu grinned again, “Your position as a law enforcer is gone. You have nowhere to go. No one trusts you, not even your own buddy Frunk.”
 
“Bah, f*ck Frunk!” Pika was still making the fish face that Desu had her in.
 
“You better not, or else you’d be cheating on me, and I don’t take cheating very well.”
 
“But Desu…” Ene spoke up, “Aren’t you kinda cheating on… you know…”
 
“Who, Raine?” Desu let go of Pika’s face to look at Ene, “Nah, he’s just sloppy leftovers. Besides, Pika’s my pet, not my lover.”
 
“Oh okay, that makes sense.” Ene giggled again and grinned, “You’re so smart, Desu-senpai!” Ene lunged to glomp Desu, only to fall to the ground as Desu stepped to the side and watched her fall. Ene grunted on impact, groaning as she helped herself up, “Ow, that wasn’t very nice…”
 
“I don’t do glomps. You could’ve just hugged me-”
 
“Enough f*cking around, Desu. Tell me, what do you want with me?” Pika spat as she struggled to get up.
 
“What do I want?” Desu raised a grow as Ene proceeded to groan upon getting to her feet, “I think its obvious. I want YOU.”
 
Pika burst into laughter, “Oh, how f*cking charming. I think I’m actually flattered.” She rolled her eyes, “Fine then. Just tell me what to do. My body is yours, but I WILL hurt you if you do something that I don’t like.”
 
Desu smiled, “Sounds good to me.”
 
“I figured you’d be a masochist. What else is new in the world of Desu?”
 
“You wanna enter my world and find out? Oh wait…” Desu looked up in thought, “Let me rephrase that. You want me to enter YOUR world and find out?”
 
“Ugh!” Pika spat once more, “You’re despicabl-” Pika was cut off by another shock to her neck that made her arch her back again.
 
“I’m sorry, what was that?” Desu chuckled with his finger pulling back from the button that he just pushed.
 
“I said you’re despicabl-” Another shock made Pika scream with agony as tears poured from under her squinting eyes.
 
“What’s with the crying?” Desu sat down on the platform that Pika lied on, inches within her eyes, “I thought you needed this. You need to live, right? You can’t live without the adrenaline of pain, right?”
 
“F*ck you…” Pika could hardly speak, “…yes, the adrenaline feels good. I feel alive after my fated death… but seriously, F*CK you…”
 
“Good to hear a mutual sexual need from you.” Desu stood up from the platform, “From now on, you’re my dog.”
 
“You mean she’s your b-” Ene choked on the word.
 
“Ah yes, I guess she’d be my b*tch. Good call, Ene.” Ene was overwhelmed by the praise from her senpai that she held in a squeal that ringed through her closed lips, held back by her fingertips, “From now on, you’re my b*tch, and you will do as I say, or else you know what’s gonna happen.”
 
“Oh but I NEED it Des-” Another shock cut her off.
 
“You will call me MASTER, b*tch.”
 
“…m-master…” Pika spoke through gritted teeth.
 
“That’s better, but be sure to speak like I’m your senpai next time.”
 
“Yes, speak like I do!” Desu shot a cold glance at Ene, who immediately simmered down with her head drooped, “s-sorry, senpai…”
 
“Whatever. Just make sure I hear you clearly, b*tch, or I’ll have to shock it out of you. Now SIT UP!” Desu pressed a button to jolt Pika to a kneeling position. Pika’s teeth were still gritted.
 
“Like I said… you’re despicable.”
 
“Only for you, though.” Desu suddenly remembered something, and turned to Ene, “By the way, where’s Miku, Ene? Do you know?”
 
“Um, last I recall, she went into the grocery store to grab some stuff…”
 
“Ah yes, well when she gets back, the real fun will-” The sound of a door closing echoed throughout the house.
 
“Desu-senpai, I’m home! I brought some fresh meat from the market to-”
 
Desu perked up, “Ah yes, perfect! Bring it down here!” Miku ran down the stairs with both bags in her hand, setting them down on the table at the bottom. Desu took long strides over to them to pick up the first piece of meat that he saw in one of the bags, unwrapping it to take out the raw slice of sirloin that wobbled in his grip.
 
“Aw, Desu, I was gonna make steak-”
 
“This one’s on me, Miku. You ran a good errand.” Desu lowered the piece of meat into Pika’s mouth, “Alright, b*tch. B*tches love meat. Now eat up.”
 
“You must be f*cking jok-” Another shock cut her off.
 
“You’re lucky to not be eating dog food, now EAT.” Pika had no choice but to open her mouth. With a desperate need to survive the drive from the collar, she wagged her tongue across the tip of the meat, watching as Desu’s breathing got slightly heavier. She played more along with the act by letting out airy barks from her through, mumbling remarks about how much she wants Desu’s meat.
 
“Desu, why don’t we have a camera or something?” Ene whined with a look of joy from the scene that Pika was playing out. Desu ignored her as his body grew hot from the way Pika looked as she grabbed a good chunk of the meat with her teeth, yanking it from his grasp as she shook it vigorously as a dog would do with his toy bunny. Her eyes were like fire burning as she shot a glance at Desu that stunned him cold.
 
“Yes, I like this.” He chuckled, unaware of the knocking of the door above the stairs, “Now come!” Another shock prompted Pika to bolt off the platform and on the floor on her hands and knees. She looked up with glistening eyes as she playfully gnawed the slice of raw meat, panting through her nostrils. The knocking at the door continued, but still to Desu’s obliviousness.
 
“Um, Desu, there’s someone at th-”
 
“I don’t care. I’m enjoying this too much.” Desu’s interruption made Miku cross her arms with a pouting face and a grunt of frustration. Remote in hand, Desu held his thumb above the same button, “Let’s see what else this b*tch can do. BEG!” Yet another shock made Pika jump up on her toes with her knees bent and her hands drooping. The electricity danced within her nerves, making her pant excessively while barking in a high-pitched voice.
 
At this point, Desu looked up as if in ecstasy. His eyes wandered toward the basement window that led outside, where a horrific glare buzzkilled his pleasure.
 
“Oh sh*t…” He groaned as the person outside the window got up and flanked the house. Desu knew who it was and knew what his next move was. “Ene, Maki, we’ve got company.”
 
“Well no DUH, Desu. Who d’ya think’s been knocking at the door for the past several minutes?”
 
“I know who it was, and I know that he ain’t too happ-” A loud thud and crack was heard where the door was as splinters flew down the stairs like leaves in a hurricane. Stomping followed, soon revealing itself to be the boots of Raine, who kept the same glare from before. Desu only felt fear for a split second before regaining his composure when he saw Pika scramble to hide from the stranger.
 
“Aw, what’s the matter? Shy around strangers?” Raine snarled, eyes locked on Desu who remained emotionless, “I think we have yet to be properly introduced, because the Desu I knew is DEAD.”
 
“Really now?” Desu raised a brow, “Well then who’s the guy right in front of you?”
 
“Don’t give me that sass!” Raine slid down the railing to land at the bottom like a superhero, “Who’s the rodent? Better question… can I kill it for you?”
 
“No need. She and I are getting along rather well.”
 
“Oh, so it’s a SHE! Was that a guess, or did you have to look at its crotch?” Raine raised his own brow to emphasize the question, leaning his hand on a table, “and I assume you must’ve rubbed its tummy to make it pop out like lipstick, huh? Oh wait, it’s a girl. I stand corrected!”
 
“You know I like it both ways, Rainey.” Desu began talking in a baby voice, “A little lipstick don’t hurt. It makes me feel pretty for you.”
 
“Well then I’ll make you feel pretty using the lipstick that is your blood!” A revolver was sitting on the table where Raine was resting his hand, which he grabbed and aimed at Desu.
 
“Pika, come!” Desu pressed the button again, summoning Pika in front of him faster than even a dog.
 
“Oh, that’s sweet. Does your dog play fetch as well? He can fetch this bullet!”
 
“First of all, it’s a she. Second, that’s my gun.” Desu grew serious, “We talked about this. NOBODY touches my guns. The only excuse for someone to touch my guns are if I have the barrel up their ass.”
 
“But I’m holding it! You are armless! All I have to do is pull the trigger and I will go down in history as the man who killed YCM City’s biggest a******!”
 
Desu smirked, “Well then what are you waiting for?” He held his arms out as if to accept a hug, “Shoot me. Become a legend, as fate has said so.”
 
“Ha! Too easy!” Raine’s finger was on the trigger just about to pull back to fire.
 
“Pika, FLIP!” Desu pressed the button one last time to have Pika do a backflip in front of him, just in time for Raine’s bullet to fire into her shoulder. The impact knocked her back into Desu, knocking them both to the ground. Raine’s eyes widened with a gasp of disbelief, pulling the trigger repeatedly only to hear the clicking sounds of an empty gun.
 
“…no…” Raine began to shake as he fell to his knees, dropping the gun, “…NO!” He gripped his face with his fingertips, squeezing the bone of his skull. Tears began to fall from his eyes as he bent down to weep with angry sadness, “Desu… you f*cking cheat…”
 
Desu was buried under Pika’s limp body, “Cheat? Clearly you’re mistaking me for Aix.” He pushed Pika off of him, letting her groan as she lied down with half-open eyes, “I don’t cheat. Cheating is for losers. I’m just good at everything.” With his smirk turning to a menacing grin, he heard a faint sound coming from Pika.
 
“…Desu…”
 
All of a sudden, Desu grew weak in the knees as he looked back at Pika, struggling to reach her hand up in shaking vain, “Desu… I think I’m actually dying now…”
 
“Wait, wasn’t that bullet supposed to surge more adrenaline through you? Wasn’t that what you needed to live?”
 
“That’s what I thought, but…” Pika coughed a splash of blood, “…the bullet hit an artery. I’m bleeding internally…”
 
“F*ck…” Desu sighed, “…and I was having so much fun. After all these years…”
 
“Desu… if you really want me that badly… now’s your chance…” She coughed some more, hacking more blood, “Time’s running out.” She let out a gurgly chuckle as she showed a bloody grin. Desu couldn’t help but chuckle back as he loosened his belt.
 
“Fine. I’d hate to let several years go to waste.” He lowered his pants to reveal his junk as he pulled down Pika’s, already hard from the past events. Pika leaned her head back with her eyes closed as Desu wasted to time to plunge into her, thrusting with no mercy. Pika groaned despite all the blood that squirted from her lungs, enjoying the last few minutes of her life as pleasure seared through her, extending her life just enough.
 
“Desu… I’m gonna cum… I would never have wanted a better way to die…” The final stretch of screams of pleasure came just before the final climax, but Pika’s screams were in agony, “DESU, AUGHH! IT HURTS! I’M STILL ALIVE AND IT HURTS!!” She continued to wraith and twitch and scream as she got closer to the orgasm that would choke her with gushing blood from her throat.
 
“Desu…” Pika’s voice grew raspy and quiet, “…kill me…” Desu was clueless as to what to do at such a brief moment that time had to slow down for him to act. Just below his lowered pants, his second gun was sunk beneath one of his deep pockets. He did not think. He reached for the gun and shot from an arc that he swung with it, fortunate to hit Pika the instant the climax came.
 
“Gahh, sh*t!” Desu was quick to pull out just in time to cum all over Pika’s bloodied head from the gun wound. He was exhausted, passing out on Pika’s dead corpse, nearly in tears from a mixture of emotions, “That was close…” he mumbled, “any longer in there and I would’ve become a necrophiliac. That wouldn’t go well with me…”
 
“Whoa…” Miku looked down at the scene, conflicted with feelings of delight and disgust. She twitched, holding her mouth just in time to turn away and hurl, coughing from the aftermath. Desu chuckled.
 
“Too much for you?” Desu stood up, pulling his pants back up and brushing himself off.
 
“Desu…” Raine was still knelt behind him, “…you sick f*ck…”
 
“Well at least she’s out of the picture, right?” Desu replied, “Now you have nothing else in your way.”
 
Raine looked up, “Well, I guess I can’t argue with that. But still… you f*cked a dying mod!”
 
“FORMER mod, mind you.” Desu stretched as he walked over to Raine, putting a hand on his shoulder despite the remaining splatters of blood on them, “But it makes no difference. A dying f*ck buddy is still a f*ck buddy. Just be glad you’re not f*cking a corpse-f*cker.”
 
“I’d be the corpse-f*cker, because you’re dead to me!” Both Raine and Desu burst into laughter, which made Desu fall over from exhaustion, “Whoa now, let’s not be active too soon after cumming.”
 
“I guess you can say I’ve fallen for you.” The laughter returned as Miku came running up to them.”
 
“Um, Desu-senpai… where should we hide the body? Should I put it with the others?”
 
Desu thought for a second, “Nah, dig a special grave for her. She deserves that much.” Miku nodded and skipped over to Pika, lifting her up and hauling her up the stairs through the broken door. Desu and Raine remained in the room, lying on each other and poking each other’s noses.
 
“Well, what now?” Desu asked.
 
Raine looked up with a finger on his chin, “Hmm… got any more meat?”[/spoiler]

 

Jsyk, this has not been beta read, so there might be a few errors.

[Thar]

^^^^^^

 

BUMP