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[URL=http://s1329.photobucket.com/user/TJDouglas13/media/Mountain%20Defender_zpsvxsmhsyn.jpg.html]Mountain%20Defender_zpsvxsmhsyn.jpg[/URL]

 

Lore:

When this card is Normal Summoned, it gains 300 DEF for each monster you control; also you can change it to Defense Position. If this card's DEF is 3400 or higher, your opponent cannot target other monsters you control for attacks.
 

 

 

EDIT:

Changed the amount of monsters needed to use it's effect fully.

Made it a little stronger

Changed the OCG (Again)

Let it change it's battle position to DEF straight the way

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Technically speaking, only a correction isn't allowed for replies.

Horu, please read the section rules again, regarding Advanced Clause stuff.

 

Anyway, OCG fix and a review:

 

When this card is Normal Summoned, it gains 250 DEF for each monster you control. If this card's DEF is 3500 or higher, your opponent cannot target another monster you control for attacks.

 

 

Just keep in mind that while the DEF bonus helps a bit (although it requires a full field commitment), remember that 1600 ATK on a Level 7 really doesn't help; especially with the myriad of threats that exist.

 

As noted, you need at 4 monsters on the field for this card's effect to be of any use; barring Equip Cards and outside help.

 

 

I would provide advise giving it an effect that allows you to Normal Summon this in Defense Position (go look at Superheavy Samurai Big Benkei for the wording); that way, it can do its job properly; as opposed to being an exposed wall.

 

I'd also advise making the DEF boost 300 per monster, because most cards in-game increase/decrease values by numbers divisible by 100.

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Technically speaking, only a correction isn't allowed for replies.
Horu, please read the section rules again, regarding Advanced Clause stuff.

Anyway, OCG fix and a review:

When this card is Normal Summoned, it gains 250 DEF for each monster you control. If this card's DEF is 3500 or higher, your opponent cannot target another monster you control for attacks.


Just keep in mind that while the DEF bonus helps a bit (although it requires a full field commitment), remember that 1600 ATK on a Level 7 really doesn't help; especially with the myriad of threats that exist.

As noted, you need at 4 monsters on the field for this card's effect to be of any use; barring Equip Cards and outside help.


I would provide advise giving it an effect that allows you to Normal Summon this in Defense Position (go look at Superheavy Samurai Big Benkei for the wording); that way, it can do its job properly; as opposed to being an exposed wall.

I'd also advise making the DEF boost 300 per monster, because most cards in-game increase/decrease values by numbers divisible by 100.


Sorry.

Now I have no initial complaints about the card itself. Honestly, I could run this in 3 and have myself a pretty decent wall to give me time to form a viable strategy. So I personally like the effect.
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If I sounded like I'm pushing that sort of thing a lot, it's basically so the member in question can learn what to improve on and you get better at critiquing stuff.

Basically, it's a quality control thing.

 

You don't need to write a textbook reply like a lot of people in Advanced do a fair amount of the time, but just note something related to the card's design and all that stuff.

 

----

When this card is Normal Summoned, it gains 300 DEF for each monster you control; also you can change it to Defense Position. If this card's DEF is 3400 or higher, your opponent cannot target other monsters you control for attacks.

 

Further fixing the OCG a bit, but basically should be worded well enough for comprehension.

 

As for the revisions, now you need 3 monsters to utilize its walling effect; although it's a Level 7 now, so you need to -2 monsters to get it out.

Again, it still requires a full field commitment, but not as much as before.

 

It does have a decent 2100 ATK to destroy things on its own when needed, assuming opponent does not carry effect removal or another monster with +3k ATK for most intents/purposes.

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If I sounded like I'm pushing that sort of thing a lot, it's basically so the member in question can learn what to improve on and you get better at critiquing stuff.
Basically, it's a quality control thing.

You don't need to write a textbook reply like a lot of people in Advanced do a fair amount of the time, but just note something related to the card's design and all that stuff.

----
When this card is Normal Summoned, it gains 300 DEF for each monster you control; also you can change it to Defense Position. If this card's DEF is 3400 or higher, your opponent cannot target other monsters you control for attacks.

Further fixing the OCG a bit, but basically should be worded well enough for comprehension.

As for the revisions, now you need 3 monsters to utilize its walling effect; although it's a Level 7 now, so you need to -2 monsters to get it out.
Again, it still requires a full field commitment, but not as much as before.

It does have a decent 2100 ATK to destroy things on its own when needed, assuming opponent does not carry effect removal or another monster with +3k ATK for most intents/purposes.


Sakura, your wording prevents the opponent from attacking if you control 2 of this card.
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The original effect already prevented another monster from being attacked if its DEF reached a certain point.

Basically, it's been rewritten using current wording.

 

Even then, 2+ would still form a lock of sorts with the older wording.

 

Recall cards like Golem Dragon and Magician's Valkyria (and to another extent, Morphtronic Magnen). They basically share the same sort of effect as this; and indeed a lock is formed with 2+ copies [in their case, they have restrictions on what can be protected, but same principle].

 

With that in mind, you would have to Tribute Summon a 2nd one, which again requires more field setup to establish the 3400 DEF needed for a second copy; outside of using Equip Cards and other things.

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There. That SHOULD have fixed all the OCG problems. Thanks for the help by the way.

I decided to change it so you only needed 4 monsters in total (Outside of any spell/trap card help) to be able to use it. I felt that any less monsters would make it too easy to get out a high-defensive lock, especially in swarmy decks. 

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