Approved by the mighty beef himself, I have reviewed one of his chars.
Now that I got things all cleared up with...things, I will try and review soon. Just making sure y'all know I didn't forget. Probably tomorrow I'll get one or two done.
In the meantime. Here, my literal first RP character. It's not good, but I am very fond of them nonetheless. I don't expect much from this. I assume the review will be very short, given there's not a ton there. I was very unsure how much I was supposed to write, and how in depth I could go and such.
The RP: http://forum.yugiohc...l-atlantica-ooc
The character: http://forum.yugiohc...-ooc/?p=6520782
Alrighty then, let's crack open this cyber-trap-maid. That's a list of words I've never thought I'd use together.
Appearance wise, they do fit the trap aesthetic, but I personally would've preferred more than just a head shot. Either a bust at the very least or a written description, specifically the cybernetics and if they're visible. His weight is also not mentioned, which while not exactly the most important thing, I like so that I have a general idea of their body shape.
Next we have the personality. A hyper-focusing perfectionist who needs auditory stimulation. From my understanding, this character just might be on the autism spectrum. I like that, it's a subtle and impacted personality. But besides that, the maid-sub cliche is strong with this one. There's also the cliche of being faunaphobic without any real explanation. I, for one, would like to know why he's so spooked by animals.
Biography is short and more than a little bit vague. was a nanny child until he almost died, then his dad used him as a test tube. I wanna know more about this accident. Gimmie the juicy details about how he danced with death. Also still no explanation as to where the cybernetics are. Rather... irksome.
The abilities at first seam pretty standared for a cyborg, but then the cloaking device. It's a bit abnormal, but fits fairly well with his personality. Not sure how much it'd be used, since from what I can gather the RP was more of a comedy than anything that required cloaking.
All in all, This char is the typical kind of trap maid with a little bit of cybernetics thrown in for good measure. I would've liked to have had more details, especially in regard to the cybernetics, his overall appearance, and his biography.
C+ bordering B- overall.