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[Original Work] :Alive: Book 1: The Southern Suffering [Rated M | 18+]

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#61
Hi I'm Dad

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I don't know if I was just in the groove for 24 or what, but this chapter has got to be the one I've completed the quickest.  Keeping that in mind, I want to remind my audience that this is not a final product.  I will be refining and editing :Alive: after it is completed.  There won't be many major changes, but I will be taking a lot of time to touch up and clean up each individual chapter of the story.  I've actually already done so with the first one or two chapters.

 

Anywho, Chapter 24 is completed!  I'm excited to start 25 and conclude Dirge's tale, and see just what becomes of Amaris.

 

EDIT:  Hey, look!  It's page four!


Edited by Hi I'm Dad, 03 July 2017 - 11:11 PM.

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#62
Chaos Sonic

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Well...finally finished that chapter I see...hehehehehehe

 

Chapter 24: With Great Power...

Dude...the moment things were happening in the last chapter, I was pumped for this one...and you, yet again, DID NOT DISAPPOINT!!

 

Firstly, the name of the chapter. I'm a huge Spider-Man fan and this just tickled my fancy that you would choose this as the title of the 24th chapter. Kudos to you on that. Next...oh man oh man oh man!! The chase you had was amazing! Once more, you utilize the moveset I gave Amaris to a level I never once thought. Gekko, I originally planned for a healing move, but you used it in the manner of attack as well! It's a thought that never once crossed my mind even in the slightest!

 

But you know the main thing that I had been waiting for in this chapter. And this part gave me the chills reading it. This was an amazing end to a chapter...and I'm glad to have even helped you out with that small flashback regarding the time period/timeframe of Amaris unlocking his Fayth. And I know I've said it before...but I'll continue to say it: You've taken what I had on Amaris and directed him in a direction that is fantastic. You have made me proud, as the creator of Amaris Ishida. I get to see Amaris grow into such the character...

 

And next chapter...it finally begins...


My Themes

Nibun no Ichi ~ Back On

The Crimson Comet | The Meijin | Amazing Red Warrior

keK9rCh.gif

 

My New Signature Move!

#63
Hi I'm Dad

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Well...finally finished that chapter I see...hehehehehehe

 

Chapter 24: With Great Power...

Dude...the moment things were happening in the last chapter, I was pumped for this one...and you, yet again, DID NOT DISAPPOINT!!

 

Firstly, the name of the chapter. I'm a huge Spider-Man fan and this just tickled my fancy that you would choose this as the title of the 24th chapter. Kudos to you on that. Next...oh man oh man oh man!! The chase you had was amazing! Once more, you utilize the moveset I gave Amaris to a level I never once thought. Gekko, I originally planned for a healing move, but you used it in the manner of attack as well! It's a thought that never once crossed my mind even in the slightest!

 

But you know the main thing that I had been waiting for in this chapter. And this part gave me the chills reading it. This was an amazing end to a chapter...and I'm glad to have even helped you out with that small flashback regarding the time period/timeframe of Amaris unlocking his Fayth. And I know I've said it before...but I'll continue to say it: You've taken what I had on Amaris and directed him in a direction that is fantastic. You have made me proud, as the creator of Amaris Ishida. I get to see Amaris grow into such the character...

 

And next chapter...it finally begins...

 

It's your continued dedication to this story that really pleases me.  And I appreciate your viewership.  I know I say it a lot, but I'm truly grateful to have you as a part of the team that put :Alive: together.  Sincerely, thank you.

 

And now, Chapter 25!

 

Chapter 25:  The Dark Side of the Moon

Edited by Hi I'm Dad, 19 July 2017 - 07:50 PM.

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#64
Chaos Sonic

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Here we go...my thoughts after the chapter....

 

Chapter 25: The Dark Side of the Moon

[INTERNAL SCREAMS OF JOY INTENSIFY!!!!!!!]

 

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Dad you amazing, AMAZING person you!!! This chapter...it's what I've been waiting for since the beginning of you introducing this Broken Fayth concept! And my GOD, did you deliver! You painted the appearance of Amaris' new form in such a way I was impressed with GREATLY! The design you worked with the weapon, of course after we talked, was put into an amazing work. It's showing how well that Amaris' bonds with his friends right now has grown exponentially! Not only that, the use of a new weapon is the best! Kusarigama for the win man!! ;D

 

The fight between the Survivors and Dirge was fantastic. And at the end, hehehe, I found that reference to a certain bug-based Disney villain most impressive XD Also, Yuel's little conversation with Amaris is interesting to me. Mainly the emphasis on "Thank you". I may be looking too hard into it...but still...

 

Also, the end of the chapter is making me even more interested. I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens next with HIM if he's in the next chapter!

 

At the end of it...this chapter exceeded my expectations for Amaris! So much so that I now need a full PM of his new abilities you've given him just so I can update him with them in the Shonen Corner just for the hell of it!!! :D


My Themes

Nibun no Ichi ~ Back On

The Crimson Comet | The Meijin | Amazing Red Warrior

keK9rCh.gif

 

My New Signature Move!

#65
Hi I'm Dad

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Here we go...my thoughts after the chapter....

 

Chapter 25: The Dark Side of the Moon

[INTERNAL SCREAMS OF JOY INTENSIFY!!!!!!!]

 

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Dad you amazing, AMAZING person you!!! This chapter...it's what I've been waiting for since the beginning of you introducing this Broken Fayth concept! And my GOD, did you deliver! You painted the appearance of Amaris' new form in such a way I was impressed with GREATLY! The design you worked with the weapon, of course after we talked, was put into an amazing work. It's showing how well that Amaris' bonds with his friends right now has grown exponentially! Not only that, the use of a new weapon is the best! Kusarigama for the win man!! ;D

 

The fight between the Survivors and Dirge was fantastic. And at the end, hehehe, I found that reference to a certain bug-based Disney villain most impressive XD Also, Yuel's little conversation with Amaris is interesting to me. Mainly the emphasis on "Thank you". I may be looking too hard into it...but still...

 

Also, the end of the chapter is making me even more interested. I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens next with HIM if he's in the next chapter!

 

At the end of it...this chapter exceeded my expectations for Amaris! So much so that I now need a full PM of his new abilities you've given him just so I can update him with them in the Shonen Corner just for the hell of it!!! :D

 

I would be happy to give you that list.  I'll send you a PM probably tomorrow sometime and give you the full breakdown.  As always, thank you for your feedback.  It means a lot.


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#66
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Chapter 26:  Breathless

Edited by Hi I'm Dad, 19 August 2017 - 11:35 PM.

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#67
Hi I'm Dad

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I'm not completely satisfied with 26.  It feels lackluster, but it was supposed to be that rest moment the survivors needed.  To air out what had happened with Dirge, to begin the process of the dramatic climax.  But I failed to do that.  Chapter 27 however, I feel, should better bring things back on track.

 

I also feel like I've strayed too far away from keeping the survivors fighting even standard Majin.  It's been boss fight after boss fight.  They have much more to offer and I intend to bring back that feeling in Chapter 27.

 

Chapter 27:  In Time, with All Things

Edited by Hi I'm Dad, 06 September 2017 - 09:32 AM.

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#68
Hi I'm Dad

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Chapter 28:  Days

 

TBC'd.

 

Thank you all for your love and continued support.


Edited by Hi I'm Dad, Yesterday, 12:35 PM.

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