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[Original Work] :Alive: Book 1: The Southern Suffering [Rated M for Mature | 18+]

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#41
Hi I'm Dad

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Though it has been several long months, I'm happy to announce that Chapter 16 is finally done.  First and foremost, I actually do not expect any one to read it.  As long as it took me, it's possibly the most frustrating and completely lacking chapter I've written.  Not to say I didn't enjoy it, but I let myself down quite a bit.  Perhaps in the future I'll rewrite it a bit, but not fucking now.

 

I don't think I'll start Chapter 17 for some time, but I do know what the next direction is for the survivors and I do know what I aim to accomplish with 17 - 18.  It's about time they were done with fighting themselves and got back to business.  And that's exactly what's going to happen.  For those who tolerated 16, I'm so sorry, and thank you.  If you skipped it, I don't fucking blame you.  With that in mind, please stay tuned.  I promise you, the next two chapters will make up for this sorry mess.

 

Cheers.


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#42
Chaos Sonic

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Chapter 16 as a whole....hoooooooly crap!!

 

Of course, I firstly have to comment on my character and praise you yet again for portraying Amaris so well. BUT! I must commend you for developing Tsukuyomi and envisioning him in the way you did! The way you designed him was in short, WAY more intricate than I originally could've thought of! Along with a zero gravity fight moonside, it was a fantastic idea. Waaaaaaay excited to see Waning Moon when the time comes.

 

But of course, the rest of the two parts and the others in them were just as good! I enjoyed each of the team's individual battles, though Mia's was the one that truly broke the mold. Up till then, I was experiencing just brute strength...and then a battle of minds from her. It was something that I truly enjoyed and it was refreshing to boot!

 

All in all, I'm hyped for chapter 17! Keep it up dude!


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#43
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Loved Mia's parts in the most recent chapters, but I'm probably a little biased :P

 

I haven't commented here yet, but I love what you're doing. I get really excited whenever I see you update this. 


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#44
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Thoughts


I wasn't planning on starting the next chapter so soon, but I'm just in one of those moods. So here we go.

Chapter 17: Green-Eyed Demon, Part 1



Chapter 17: Green-Eyed Demon, Part 2

Edited by Hi I'm Dad, 10 April 2017 - 10:11 AM.

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#45
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Chapter 18:  Party & Bullshit

Edited by Hi I'm Dad, 28 February 2017 - 12:52 AM.

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#46
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Chapter 19:  Broken Wings

Edited by Hi I'm Dad, 17 March 2017 - 11:18 PM.

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#47
Chaos Sonic

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Chapters 17 and 18...wooooooo man....xD

 

With 17, I was interested in what you did there. Have them do some stuff like that after awaking from their Fayth trails...it was great! Plus the guys bonding in this chapter was great. I'm glad to see that if the RP would've continued, that the guys would've gotten all buddy buddy like this. While on the girl's side...yeah...the guy got what he deserved...hopefully he doesn't try anything e- *reads chapter 18*

 

.....

 

....once again...someone pick up the phone...CAUSE I CALLED IT!!!

 

I liked the introduction to it and the idea of the theme park episode...but yet again...I KNEW IT!! Slimy piece of crap with a deity KNOWN FOR....>_<

 

Either way...I'm liking the end of the chapter as well. Reminding me of a certain part in KH2 ;D Really excited for Chapter 19!


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My Hero Academia OST ~ Hero A

My Hero Academia OST ~ You Say Run

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#48
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Chapter 20: Eye of the Storm

Edited by Hi I'm Dad, 26 March 2017 - 01:27 PM.

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#49
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Chapter 20:  Eye of the Storm

 

TBC'd.

YYYYAAAAASSSS BITCH!!!! 

 

Every time you post a new chapter/update for this my skin clears and my crops begin growing. Please keep up the good work


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#50
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-doesn't read anything-

 

What's this story about? Summarize it for me in as few sentences as possible if you can.


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#51
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-doesn't read anything-

 

What's this story about? Summarize it for me in as few sentences as possible if you can.

 

Sure, I can do that.

 

Synopsis:

 

Earth has been invaded.  An alien race impervious to mankind's many efforts to cull them, have taken control.  However, during their escapades, seven people were chosen on a whim by gods of the world, to save the planet.  Now, they've been sent ten years into the future into an apocalyptic wasteland, to find the answer to defeating their enemies.  Armed with just a fraction of their gods' strengths, they must find and kill the enemy, while trecking through unknown territory to find how and why they have come to Earth.  And when they find their answer, they have to return to the past to stop the alien invasion.  If they can.


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#52
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Chapter 21: Three-Hundred and Sixty Five

Edited by Eros Thanatos, 22 April 2017 - 11:16 AM.

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#53
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>Reads Chapter 20

>Reads the end

 

BOOOOOOUT TIME!!! All I'm gonna say XD


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My Hero Academia OST ~ You Say Run

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#54
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Chapter 22:  The Cold, Hard Truth

Edited by Eros Thanatos, 23 May 2017 - 01:05 PM.

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#55
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  • Renamed Chapter 22
  • Completed Chapter 22

 

Coming soon:

 

"Chapter 23:  Demons of My Past"


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#56
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Chapter 23:  Southern Tradition

 

I know this may not be super important to you guys, but I wanted to share it anyway.  I had Christina's image put on a gaming playmat, and it came out exactly as I hoped it would.  It made my day.  Check it.

 

Christina Playmat

Edited by Hi I'm Dad, 24 June 2017 - 10:30 PM.

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#57
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Bumping this to keep it on the front page.  Chapter 23 should be complete by this coming Wednesday, 6/21/2017.

 

EDIT:  May have some delays due to the YCM editor being broken.  

 

EDIT 2:  Almost done with this chapter.  Changed the title to better reflect the events happening.


Edited by Hi I'm Dad, 23 June 2017 - 08:13 PM.

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#58
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So, I was considering ending Chapter 23 a bit later.  I thought of actually confirming the survivor's escape from the French Quarter, but I didn't think it would actually work well.  Writing out "they sprang across tightly knit rooftops" felt forced to me.  I want to spring forwards a tad bit, possibly directly into their cleanup after this mess with the Mayor.  Who knows?  But Chapter 23 has officially ended.


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#59
Chaos Sonic

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Welp...seeing as though I have THREE chapters to talk about and give some praise to...I will!! XD

 

Chapter 21 - 365:

This was a much needed chapter. Too much shit had gone down previous and this chapter was one that needed to slow down the pace and gather everyone together just to enjoy each other's company. That's just it...and it's a chapter that had plenty for all those in the group.

 

Once again...it was much needed.

 

Chapter 22 - The Cold, Hard Truth:

I figured we wouldn't have seen the last of him...but with everything that happened...I was curious to see what you were planning. At the end of it...I was jumping out of my seat with my jaw dropped. Of all things I could've thought would happen....THAT was not one of them. And if that is what his destiny is to be...then I can probably hazard a guess what happens...either way, I'm hyped!

 

Chapter 23 - Demons of My Past Southern Tradition:

"DON'T YOU DISRESPECT ME, LITTLE MAN! ...Don't you derogate, or deride!"

 

xD I'm sorry, I had to throw this out there. I'll come to that in a moment. So far, other than the "fabulous" Jynx, I didn't think I could be more worried...this chapter proved me wrong. This whole fog scenario freaked me (apparently Amaris as well XD) out...wasn't expecting this. And to see... *points to the quote at the start of this* ....You had me rolling from that and just had me listening to the music non-stop through the rest of the chapter.

 

Though I am intrigued...was what he did something all Majin were able to do? Or is it only specific for him? Either way, I'm psyched for the next chapter...for obvious reasons ;D It finally begins...

 

Also think he should be called the Shadowman for obvious reasons, but only in nickname XD


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My Hero Academia OST ~ Hero A

My Hero Academia OST ~ You Say Run

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My New Signature Move!

#60
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Regarding negating Fayth power via our soon to be named Majin Lord: yes it is specific to him.  This Majin Lord has undergone a lot of internal changes in my head.  He's unique as are all Majin Lords, but his ability to temporarily negate Fayth power is one only he can perform.  However, he can't do it very often.  It's something that takes time.  

 

Also, I had a lot of fun with that chapter, especially choosing such a peculiar song for this boss.  Really enjoyed it.  As always, thanks for your feedback.

 

Chapter 24:  With Great Power . . .

 

TBC'd.


Edited by Hi I'm Dad, Today, 03:23 PM.

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