"Undread" Archetype

[Htamret]

So here's something I've been working on for around a week or so, the "Undread" archetype. It's comprised mainly (read: minus like two) of LIGHT monsters. The thing is, they're also Zombie- and Fiend-type. This deck (booster?) has mostly cards that involve the Graveyard in some way, but they also change the type and attribute of other monsters.

The story of the Undread is that they're a group of demons and undead creatures and such that don't want to be evil, and instead want to help people and protect them from evil, which is why they're LIGHT in case that wasn't obvious... did I just say that? How rude of me!

So, without further ado, here they are:

[spoiler: Normal Monsters]

002 - Undread Squire

Lore: A fledgling squire who passed away before his knighthood. He may be closer to it than he thinks...

 

009 - Undread Horseman

Lore: The emissary and recruiter for the Undread: creatures born of evil who do good and bring light to the world. He seeks out demons and undead creatures who wish to reform and fight against evil instead of with it.

 

017 - Undread Chronicler

Lore: A long-forgotten lore keeper, now commissioned by the Undread to record their deeds, members, and ideals for the future generations of undead, demons, and living alike. He is rumored to be the former head librarian of a magical library owned by a prosperous king.

 

 

 

[spoiler: Effect Monsters]

001 - Undread Spirit

Lore:If you only control "Undread" monsters: This monster can attack your opponent directly.

 

003 - Undread Archer (aka Oh you're attacking? No you're not.)

Lore: Once per Battle Phase, when your opponent declares an attack:

- If the attacking monster's DEF is higher than the ATK of this card: Negate the attack; switch the monster into Defense Position.

- If the attacking monster's DEF is less than or equal to the ATK of this monster: Destroy the monster.

 

007 - Undread Guardian of Life after Death (aka Rez plz)

Lore: This card cannot be Special Summoned. This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set except by Tributing 3 Zombie- and/or Fiend-type LIGHT monsters. When a monster is destroyed, except this card: You may Special Summon the destroyed monster as a Zomibe-type LIGHT monster with 0 DEF. You cannot Tribute monsters Special Summoned by this card's effect.

 

010 - Undread Reformist

Lore: FLIP: Take control of 1 Fiend or Zombie monster your opponent controls; it becomes a LIGHT monster. When a monster targeted by this card's effect leaves your side of the Field: Destroy the monster.

 

015 - Daybreak - Embodiment of Undread

Lore: You can Ritual Summon this card using "When Daybreak Comes". If an "Undread" monster would be targeted: You may make this card the target instead. Tribute "Undread" monster(s): This card may attack once an additional time for each monster tributed. If you control only this card: You may attack your opponent directly. If an "Undread" monster is destroyed while you control this card: Lose 5000 Life Points.

 

[spoiler: Spells/Traps]

005 - Cemetary of The Restless (aka How hard is it to find picture of a graveyard without cross tombstones?)

Lore: (This card is treated as an "Undread" card.)

You may Normal Summon Zombie-type monsters from your Graveyard. Pay Life Points equal to the Level of the monster summoned x 300.

006 - Undread Swarm (aka Scapegoat but with zombies)

Lore: When your opponent declares an attack: Special Summon 3 "Undread Tokens" (Zombie-Type/LIGHT/Level 1/ATK 500 /DEF 0) with the following effects: "During your End Phase, if this monster did not attack this turn: Destroy all "Undread Tokens" you control. When your opponent targets a monster: They must target this card instead."

 

008 - Blinding Moonlight of Undread

Lore: Destroy all face-up cards your opponent controls that target LIGHT monsters, Zombie-type, and/or Fiend-Type monsters.

 

011 - Blade of Undread (aka You are one of us now)

The equipped monster gains 800 ATK and is treated as LIGHT Zombie-Type monster. During your Battle Phase: You can Tribute the equipped monster; inflict damage to your opponent's Life Points equal to the ATK of the equipped monster.

 

013 - Dreadful Summoning (aka Do you feel lucky?)

Lore: Flip a coin. If heads: Special Summon a monster from your Deck; shuffle your Deck. If tails: Reveal cards from your Deck until there are three monsters; Take damage equal to the total ATK of the monsters; You may Special Summon 1 of the monsters; Discard any other cards. 

(Yes, the card based on luck is number 13.)

 

014 - When Daybreak Comes (aka The Convoluted Ritual Spell)

Lore: Destroy all non-Zombie-Type monsters. If their total level is 20 or more, the destroyed cards can be used as Tributes to Ritual Summon "Daybreak - Embodiment of Undread".

 

[spoiler: Extra Deck Monsters]

004 - Undread Gravelord (aka NONE SHALL PASS)

Lore: "Undread Squire" + 1 or more non-Tuner LIGHT monsters

This card cannot be destroyed by card effects. When a card would be banished from the Graveyard by Summon or card effect: Negate the effect or Summon. This card's DEF is equal to the number of monsters in the Graveyard x 500.

 

012 - Keeper of the Undread Pyre (aka fuel the fire, with YOUR LIFE)

Lore: 2 Level 5 monsters

When a monster is destroyed by battle or card effect: You may equip the destroyed monster to this card as an Xyz Material. During your Main Phase: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; Increase the ATK and DEF of this card by the original ATK and DEF of the selected card until your End Phase. Before your Draw Phase: You may attach the top card of your Deck to this card as an Xyz Material; It becomes your Standby Phase. If this card would be destroyed by battle or card effect: Detach 1 Xyz Material; Negate the effect or attack and switch the attacking monster to Defense Position. During your End Phase: Detach 1 Xyz Material from this card. During your End Phase, while this card has no Xyz Materials: Take damage equal to 100 x the number of monsters in your Graveyard.

 

016 - Undread Dreadlord

Lore: "Undread Squire" + "Undread Spirit"

This card cannot be destroyed by battle. When this card battles and does not destroy the monster it battled with: Switch that card to Defense Position. Once per turn: Pay 1000 Life Points; Search your Deck for 1 "Blade of Undread" and equip it to this card. When this card is equipped with an Equip Spell: This card inflicts piercing battle damage.

[spoiler: About this card](Lore wise, this is the counterpart to "Undread Guardian", showing another path "Undread Squire" might take. Instead of being taken in by the Undread as a squire and make into the Undread's paladin of sorts, he took it upon himself to become a great warrior. Eventually, he used a weak soul's energy to become invincible in battle. When he found out about the Undread, he took their special sword for himself, only to be filled with their sense of duty and justice.)

 

Welp, there they are, the first sixteen! I tried to find art that looked like it would actually fit with the various art styles Yu-Gi-Oh! uses, and I think for the most part I did okay. I might add more if I can think of anything fitting, and I'm tentatively open to suggestions, hope I won't regret it... ;) Any questions, OCG fixes, or just comments in general are welcome!

[Htamret]

bump

[Htamret]

Added 017 - Undread Chronicler

[Htamret]

bump

[The Nyx Avatar]

Okay. Squire can't be treated as both Types (unless you're trying to introduce a new Type). Horseman and Chronicler are pretty tame. There's no need for Spirit to be a Spirit monster. Seems rather pointless. Archer has a decent effect, but what hurta it is being Level 5. Lower it to 4. No need to put "attribute" in the card text. Daybreak needs to list how it can be Ritual Summoned (You can Ritual Summon this card using ____). I admire innovation with Cemetar; but that last effect is broken as all hell and would lead to the card getting splashed into any Deck. Last effect of Moonlight's kind of broken. Blade: The equipped monster gains 800 ATK and is treated as LIGHT Zombie-Type monster. During your Battle Phase: You can Tribute the equipped monster; inflict damage to your opponent's Life Points equal to the ATK of the equipped monster. Dreadfull Summoning is broken beyond belief. As is "When Daybreak Comes"; but "When Daybreak Comes" also doubles as convoluted. Also, don't equip as Xyz Materials; you attach as Xyz Materials. Also: "It becomes your Standby Phase"; you can omit this part. Keeper just seems to be a wall; not very good (in fairness and practicality). And as for Dreadlord:

 

This card cannot be destroyed by battle. When this card battles a monster and that monster is not destroyed by battle: Switch that card to Defense Position and pay 1000 Life Points: Equip this card with 1 "Blade of Undread" from your Deck. While this card is equipped with an Equip Spell Card: This card inflicts piercing battle damage.

 

Also, it can be Summoned via Instant Fusion and seems slow otherwise.

 

In conclusion, this archetype seems to have little synergy, as they all have random effects with no clear or concise goal; you could make a bunch of random cards and then add an archetype name to them. This archetype needs a way to stay consistent, cohesive, and effective; they're all rather random. Also, what is the purpose of the double Type? There's no cards that use them and you can just make them Fiend-Type and state in their effect "This card is also treated as a Warrior-Type monster".

[Htamret]

Thanks! You pull no punches, but that's exactly what I wanted tbh, seeing as I haven't really done archetypes much. I have some time, so I'll fix them now and I'll probably change Cemetery to only affect Zombie monsters, that would balance it enough, right?. As for the cohesion, I tried to make it so that most of the cards use the Graveyard in some way, that probably isn't enough, right? I wasn't really thinking of synergy when I made it, more so the theme of it, hence why it isn't in advanced: It's more of a thematic archetype than a competitively viable one. That being said, I guess they need to have some sort of viability or else they would just go in Jokes/OP. I'm just going to respond to/clarify/make excuses for the cards you mentioned now ;^^

 

I see what you mean with Moonlight, wasn't really thinking about that. I did make that one at like 2am or something, so I might not have really been thinking about balance too much.

 

Is the brokenness with Dreadful the fact that it can ss from the extra deck? I don't really know what I was going with there, I'll be honest. If it was just a straight up 'ss from your deck' instead of the extra deck, would it be good, or should I nerf the tails effect somehow too?

 

I can change When Daybreak Comes to just the first effect, since no matter how I word it the second effect sounds complicated. Might just do that, maybe lower the total level to 18 or 16.

 

As for Dreadlord, the 'Pay 1000 Life Points' is meant to be a separate effect from the first one. I'll change that to make it more clear.

 

Again, thanks for the help! I might PM you with questions if that's okay.

 

EDIT: Here's a quick list of the changes I made so you don't have to dig through the cards themselves. [spoiler:Changelog]

Changed U. Spirit to and Effect monster.

Changed U. Archer's level from 5 to 4.

Changed wording on Blade (OCG fix?)

Changed wording on U. Dreadlord to clarify that getting the Blade is a second effect.

Buffed U. Gravelord, and by chance that made it into even more of a counterpart to U. Dreadlord.

Removed the 'Zombie-Warrior' type entirely.

Removed unnecessarily complicated second effect from 'When Daybreak Comes'.

Removed recycling effect to Moonlight.

Nerfed Dreadful Summoning to only work in the normal Deck.

Nerfed Cemetery to only work with Zombies.

Added summoning condition to Daybreak (You can Ritual Summon this card...).

 

 

[The Nyx Avatar]

Thanks! You pull no punches

Well, when I critique, I try to honest and critical without being harsh (unlike some people).

 

I'll probably change Cemetery to only affect Zombie monsters, that would balance it enough, right?

Well, yes and no. I'm pretty sure other Zombie Decks could get a use out of this. If it was the archetype, then I'd fully agree.

 

I tried to make it so that most of the cards use the Graveyard in some way, that probably isn't enough, right?

I understand trying to use a gimmick of some sort to keep things fresh. The thing is that if it is Grave-triggering (like Shaddoll, Burning Abyss and Performage Trick Clown), it is as fresh as year-old milk. As long as it doesn't boil down only to Grave-triggering (Phantom Knights activate their effects during the Main Phase in the Graveyard, so that's not Grave-triggering), it could work.

 

That being said, I guess they need to have some sort of viability or else they would just go in Jokes/OP.

I wouldn't go that far. It'd have to be an undeniably unfair archetype to achieve that.

 

Is the brokenness with Dreadful the fact that it can ss from the extra deck? I don't really know what I was going with there, I'll be honest. If it was just a straight up 'ss from your deck' instead of the extra deck, would it be good, or should I nerf the tails effect somehow too?

Not exactly; more the fact of how splashable it is and doesn't stick to the archetype (literally any Deck could use this). Had it limit to Summoning from a monster of the archetype, it would be more fair.

 

Again, thanks for the help! I might PM you with questions if that's okay.

You're welcome! Glad I could help.

[Htamret]

Whoops, edited the post while you responded, now I have to change stuff, lol.