BREAKING NEWS: RAEG vs. hapyp fight in the Delta Quadrant months ago ended in shocking tragedy

[Just Crouton]

 

Months after YCM regular RAEG and his evil twin hapyp, who possessed MACHISMO!!!'s body to carry out his revenge, departed for the Delta Quadrant to settle their feud, the entire YCM community is shocked to finally learn of the tragic events that unfolded.

 

An anonymous Q who was there for some reason told YCM News of the events he witnessed.

 

"Hapyp assaulted Raeg with firecrackers! It was insane! Then, Raeg ran for cover and returned fire with his own firecrackers, so Hapyp used a dilapidated boat for cover! Then, Hapyp pulled out a composite bow and shot explosive arrows at Raeg! But, Raeg used legojutsu to replace himself with a lego dummy that exploded in his place! Then Raeg got in a car and tried to run the Hapyp over! But Hapyp shoulder-rammed the car and flipped it over! Raeg didn't have time to react as Hapyp swung him around like a yo-yo before slamming him through the car! Then Hapyp pulled out a MACHISMO spear to move in for the kill and Raeg was all like 'MARTHA! You have to save...Martha!' Hapyp didn't know what Raeg was rambling on about and just stabbed him."

 

That's right. Raeg is dead. Again.

 

But, the Q had more to tell YCM News.

 

"So, Hapyp is celebrating, but then MACHISMO assumes control of his body and kills Hapyp's ghost by channeling the universal power of MACHISMO."

 

Q offered to take MACHISMO back to Earth, but MACHISMO refused, stating he already conquered Earth, and decided to conqueror the Delta Quadrant.

 

MACHISMO was gone, entrusting his estate to a Jamaican heretic, who was later ousted by an Egyptian God Smurf, who began gathering illegal aliens as sacrifices.

 

However, YCM News has discovered that the timeline was recently altered by The Flash.

 

"We don't know the full extent of the changes to the timeline" a YCMPD officer told YCM News "but we do know that Raeg is alive again, MACHISMO has not yet taken his throne as King Crouton, Lord CowCow is now a cattle god, and Enguin is president."

 

A friend of The Flash, who was also affected by the timeline changes, weighed in on the situation.

 

[~ P O L A R I S ~]

Keep up the journalistic integrity. 

[Chaosix]

so can we go to beta yet?