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Goodbye (Mostly)

LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow

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LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow Proficient

LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow

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Posted

This has been a long time coming. If you actually bother to read this entire thing I will be surprised because, honestly, it doesn't affect most people.

First of all I should make sure to say I will continue with RP, my Showdown Club, and potentially statuses. (Oh and I will see the current Polls stuff through to the end)

 

But I am going to make an effort to stop posting anywhere else.

 

When I first joined YCM it was because I looked around and saw what seemed to be an interesting bunch of people. I had long wanted a place to actually interact with others and, since I was horrible at it irl and had (have) terrible paranoia and anxiety, I thought an internet forum might make an easier transition.

That and I wanted to try and YGO. This didn't work well.

 

I left very shortly after because of laptop/internet issues. I didn't come back a while later when this was resolved because, honestly, I didn't see a reason to.

But eventually I grew curious and joined it again. I was still an awkward, easily panicked, guy but there were people here who took the time and were patient enough and caring enough towards me that I came out of my shell and actually was able, pretty much for the first time, talk with people relatively easily.

I spent a lot of time here and tried my hand at contributing in solid ways. It was a good time and I don't regret....a good portion of it.

 

But for a while now I've felt something was off. YCM didn't seem the same. Not as welcoming, not as enjoyable, more toxic and hostile...and I tried to work around this. I tried to continue on because I care about this place; due in part to the care it had shown me.

 

But everything seems to have come to a head. I don't feel as comfortable here. It doesn't feel like a place for me anymore. It, at best, gives a few fun moments, at worst, frustrates, saddens, and makes me feel like sheet, and, more often than the positive, just feels like a thing I "have to" do.

 

There's only a few places that I felt actually good about. RP, Polls, and the SSS. The second of those, while still having its charm, also has started to have its fair share of moments that just make me question what I'm doing here.

 

I am rambling mostly to try and understand how I feel and fully come to a decision. But also because I spent a large chunk of time, several years of consistent posting, here and feel that I should at least give a fair and full thought process.

 

Maybe I'll try and post other places again after a while, once the negativity I feel about it fades, maybe not. I can't be sure.

Hell I can't even be sure I have the will and the strong enough reasoning to stay away. But I'll certainly make an effort.

 

Because this place that once brought joy and a feeling of family and friendship has twisted into something else.

 

I will likely check this thread for a time because, honestly, I will be too curious and paranoid to avoid checking it. I might check things I'm quoted in unless it becomes too much. But other than that, RP, SSS, and for a time Polls, I am essentially gone. The camel's....cow's back has been strawed once too many times and the positives no longer outweigh the negatives.

 

Catch ya later. My Skype is in my profile, but I pretty much have the majority of people I care enough about to add already, and PMing (unless it gets to be too much as well) is fine.

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~ P O L A R I S ~ Newbie

~ P O L A R I S ~

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Posted

Well alright, I will miss you. I can't help reckon I contributed to the perceived toxicity and offness, but I don't want for you to feel those things or for you to leave, so if you want to PM me to talk, ask questions, clear the air, smash me with scathing diatribes, write me love letters, whatever, my door is open and everything you say shall be between us.  

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EndUser Newbie

EndUser

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How is it that so many topics can include something lewd, in a way or another? :O

:D

 

CowCow: It's fine and all to say what you feel is important to say, but don't overthink of it; let things run smoothly. Don't make it harder for no reason. ;)

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cr47t Proficient

cr47t

Posted
Posted

Uh, Cow...

 

I really am going to miss seeing you around. I seriously hope that the hostility goes away from the other places you still enjoy on YCM, and I will try my best to make sure that things cool down enough that you might be able to come back.

 

Should have posted ---.

 

 

Sage should post ----.

Dae, please, don't. Just don't.

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