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What's the worst grudge you hold?


Wahrheit

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The grudges that take the longest to go are betrayals. When someone acts like a friend, or even is one for a while. Then isn't. It's quite hard for me to ever get close to them again

 

The closest I get is resentment towards my parents for pretending to understand me, when they have never taken an interest in doing so.

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The grudges that take the longest to go are betrayals. When someone acts like a friend, or even is one for a while. Then isn't. It's quite hard for me to ever get close to them again

Yeah, this describes some of the grudges I hold. For me, the betrayal is usually when someone acts like they've done nothing wrong, and expect me to feel like I'm the one who did nothing wrong. That way they don't have to apologize for anything, so they weren't really the ones who betrayed me. They're not sorry, and they don't want to reconcile, they want to be right. Instead of feeling like a friend, it feels like they just wanted a puppet.

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Yeah, this describes some of the grudges I hold. For me, the betrayal is usually when someone acts like they've done nothing wrong, and expect me to feel like I'm the one who did nothing wrong. That way they don't have to apologize for anything, so they weren't really the ones who betrayed me. They're not sorry, and they don't want to reconcile, they want to be right. Instead of feeling like a friend, it feels like they just wanted a puppet.

Usually I'm forgiving if you had a good reason to throw me under the bus. I just cannot accept the people that make no attempt to reconcile as you mentioned. Throwing me under the bus, and expecting me to come back and find you ain't happening

 

RE: Forgiving makes me a sucker though. I really hate, hating someone. So if someone even shows me the slightest kindness, I open up right away. Usually in the case of those people though, they're just using me again, and it often reverts back to an acrimonious relationship. But, hey, that's not entirely on me so no regrets 

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Do you mean the most justifiable grudge I hold, or the most petty?

My most justifiable grudge is against a man-child who is my subordinate. He's an atrocious employee and generally terrible and frankly creepy person, and I despise him, as does the entirety of my workplace. But he hasn't been terminated yet, presumably because no individual horrible thing we have evidence of him doing has been bad enough for HR to believe termination is warranted, even though the fact that all of these things have collectively been products of the same person should be enough. Regardless, I cannot stand being around him and I try to limit all of my interactions with him to single word sentences or very clearly disdainful observations/questions. I don't think he's caught on though which is further fuel for my hatred.

 

My most petty grudge is against the Hunger Games book series, or perhaps just my middle school. My middle school tried to run a campaign to have every student read it recreationally; despite it having nothing to do with education or general good lessons. So I actively refused, and continue to refuse, to read any of them. I watch the movies, they're pretty ok although the Monckingjays are less than ideal. But because my school wanted to create a bandwagon for the sake of a bandwagon, I will not ever read the books. So I suppose it's more in spite of the school than the books. Though, I like to think the books deserve the spite too, based on their plots.

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In general, a lot of the fathers I had in my life (birth, foster or otherwise) get some shade from me because of a stunt one of them pulled a few years back (and probably had BEEN doing for some time prior; won't go into details, it's a very touchy matter). As such, I've been wary of a lot of the father figures out of fear that they'll try something similar with me or my family. Don't really outright say it or anything, but I just sorta stay quiet around them to let them know I don't exactly trust them the most.

 

Not exactly a grudge, per se, but still.

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who up

 

Contribute to the topic, or don't post.  First and only warning.

 

The worst grudge I hold is probably towards a former friend who stole from me.  I'd been given a gift from my mother--a brand new watch (band new to me)--and it was precious and important to me.  It was my grandfather's.  He had passed before I met him.  I carried it with me securely, never letting it out of my sight or my grip.  Until I fell asleep at his house.  I awoke to find it had been removed from my wrist.  Thinking I had taken it off before I fell asleep on the couch, I searched frantically for it.  When I couldn't find it, I asked my friend.  I pleaded, I was kind, but I was very concerned.  He told me had no idea.  

 

Later that evening, I snuck into his room after I heard his light, recognizable snoring.  On his funking bedside table, under a funking face towel, was my watch.  I picked it up, put it on my wrist, and walked out.  But not before I punched him squarely in his funking jaw.  I had my cousin pick me up and bring me home.  I haven't my former friend him sense.

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I'm basically a seething mass of grudges, they're fun to hold, feed and dissect. My memory is fairly standard except for instances I feel slighted, where I'll cling to the most minute details for years after the fact. 

 

I have a general grudge towards school, which is a common enough thing, though I feel my place is a fairly singular example of "not playing well with others." In my time as a student I attended nine schools (McKernen, Lord Roberts, Wortley, St. George, Arthur Stringer, Beal, James Madison, Abelard, and University of Toronto). I've been punched in the face at eight of those nine, never throwing the first punch. I managed this by being blunt, smelly, showboating, and sticking my punchable face where others didn't feel it belonged. I was also gay and got into the "gifted program" for my elementary schools and made sure everyone knew about both. I've heard some colourful comments (I think "LET'S CIRCLEBEAT THIS jabroni" takes the cake, an all-too familiar refrain at Wortley, which is a terrible name for a school, eh?) and had a knife drawn on me (at Beal, a high school I otherwise liked. Thankfully I wasn't stabbed). As far as friends go, I always had either one or none, but those I did have (William from McKernen, Sebastian from Lord Roberts, Nicholas from Wortley, another Nicholas from Beal, and Ionah from Abelard) were especially close until I parted ways with them. Anyone else either consorted too closely with some enemy or other, or was turned off by my blunt smelly showboating intervening faggotry. I've since dropped out of University of Toronto after accruing a year's worth of student loan debt, though I did use my residency there as a platform for a feverish year's worth of gay hook-ups and bathhouse raids (I've even lived to tell of it!), so it wasn't all for naught. 

 

My most deep-seated grudge by far would have to be towards my mother, who walked out when I was 13. Hard to live something like that down. February 1st, 2008. Every word and every gesture from that night is branded in my mind, my two older siblings and my father gathered in the room with me. I felt close to her up until then, too. She gave me life and saved my life. It was a sudden and brutal betrayal after years of well-concealed contempt, well-concealed to me at least. My siblings seemed more in the loop, more calm, still their hearts sank in their eyes at it being made official, but they were knowing and calm. I didn't know, nobody informed me, I didn't pick up on any queue, I remember my own sobbing screams of "WHY WHY WHY?" and stormed to my room while my siblings, normally more vocal and headstrong than I am, quietly went to theirs. My mother followed me to my room, sat by my bedside and told me it was because she needed her space. I  told her I feared what this would mean, what would become of me. She told me that was an insightful thing to say. I glared at her, searching, none of it made sense to me. I later saw my father. I told him I pitied him. He asked why. I told him I thought he'd been thrown under the bus after all he'd done, and for what? He knew things I didn't, he knew why. 

 

It was the only time I've ever seen my father shed a tear. He is normally extraverted and gregarious, becoming rigid and withdrawn when upset. My father is the person I love most and am closest to. I lived with him for my high school years up until university and then moved back in with him for the past couple years. He is my rock, the one person I am truly at ease with, and he greets me with long-winded musings on everything from geopolitics to hockey to his unfashionable mysticisms (astrology and the I Ching) to his scholarly endeavours and the struggles of being a teacher. He and I have lived alone together for near a decade now, and still that night was the only time I've ever seen him cry.         

 

My mother's since been supportive financially (partly because she's legally obliged to I reckon), but not so much emotionally (partly because of the mutually painful weight of abrupt estrangement I reckon). I do see her bimonthly or so, I tend to cry when I do. Sometimes she cries with me. She's since settled down. I've since had a misogynistic streak (something I'm still working on and working through) and have never had a female friend. This also may play a part into why I see Hillary Clinton, the secretive, poised, blonde, administrative, ambitious woman that she is, who in so many ways resembles my mother, as a special brand of evil. I become very guarded, paranoid, suspicious and intense around women in general, and my feelings about my mother obstruct any feelings of affection I might have for any woman. It is a deep, visceral grudge that has defined me, scarred me and worn me thin.   

 

So, there you have it. My life story, more or less. In a thread about grudges, no less! Not sure what that says about me, though my father would say my Scorpio Moon and Ascendant figure into it, Scorpio being a particularly begrudging sign with the Moon and Ascendant being particularly important, second and third in line to the Sun (one's "sign", mine is Aries). He may as well be right. Astrology is a pseudoscience, but at least it's an amusing one that plays into and reinforces the narratives we live with. He's an Aquarius, so he speaks his mind and tells the truth, and I have Venus in Aquarius, so he makes me feel warm and fuzzy. It sounds about right.

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You know what's really great and fulfilling? Forgiving people.

A lot of people seem to miss the benefits of doing this, but man grudges are absolutely crushing on the soul. Same with constant anger and similar feelings. It's oppressive, it creeps on your mind often, and it generally just weighs you down. Forgive and forget is phrased such for a reason; you forgive, and then you forget it happened. Discard it from your mind, and make peace with yourself.

 

On topic, I'm kinda petty, but I can't seem to hold grudges. Or, alternatively, I haven't been so harshly spited by any one particular individual or group to warrant my having a grudge against them.

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A lot of people seem to miss the benefits of doing this, but man grudges are absolutely crushing on the soul. Same with constant anger and similar feelings. It's oppressive, it creeps on your mind often, and it generally just weighs you down. Forgive and forget is phrased such for a reason; you forgive, and then you forget it happened. Discard it from your mind, and make peace with yourself.

 

On topic, I'm kinda petty, but I can't seem to hold grudges. Or, alternatively, I haven't been so harshly spited by any one particular individual or group to warrant my having a grudge against them.

Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

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I really should take anger management again.  I still haven't gotten it to the point where I can vent or release my anger.  I just kinda keep it all to myself.  Every few months or so I might break down and cry.  Maybe rip a hole in the wall.  But I don't know what else to do.  I thought taking my frustration out on monsters and demons in video games would help.  But it doesn't.

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Now this is a truism.

 

When it can't be sincerely done it can't be sincerely done.

A lot of people are under the perception that when you forgive and forget, that just happens. You summon the power within you to forgive a horrible act done by someone, and you just move on with your life. And for a lot of things, yeah, it does work that way. But for many people and many things, forgiveness is a constant effort. Each and every time the thought of the perpetrator bubbles in your mind, you gotta make an effort to forgive and forget, forgive and forget.

 

I know you might say that this isn't really forgiveness, but then, what is? The thought of this event will be with you for the rest of your life if you let it, and every time you let it get a hold on your mind, your mental state degrades that much more. What other option do you have? The hard part really isn't the forgiving part; it's hitting that level of zen and self-awareness that you CAN forgive.

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A lot of people are under the perception that when you forgive and forget, that just happens. You summon the power within you to forgive a horrible act done by someone, and you just move on with your life. And for a lot of things, yeah, it does work that way. But for many people and many things, forgiveness is a constant effort. Each and every time the thought of the perpetrator bubbles in your mind, you gotta make an effort to forgive and forget, forgive and forget.

 

I know you might say that this isn't really forgiveness, but then, what is? The thought of this event will be with you for the rest of your life if you let it, and every time you let it get a hold on your mind, your mental state degrades that much more. What other option do you have? The hard part really isn't the forgiving part; it's hitting that level of zen and self-awareness that you CAN forgive.

In the case of my justified grudge, I think forgiveness needs to be earned, and this person has done nothing to earn it, instead garnering more disdain from the workplace.

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Are we still listing grudges? I like to be a forgive-but-don't-forget person, so grudges with people typically aren't things I'll hold for more than a day or two. There is one though...

 

The one and only grudge I can think of that I'm still holding, stupid as this is gonna sound, is against Blizzard. For Hearthstone. All of it. I could go on for a solid paragraph or two about this, but wasting one or two paragraphs shitting on a card game game of all things - let alone one I know a sizable bit of the site enjoys - just seems uncool and I like just crawled out of bed so it's too soon to do the sheet-talk.

 

In the case of my justified grudge, I think forgiveness needs to be earned, and this person has done nothing to earn it, instead garnering more disdain from the workplace.

Also gonna agree with this real quick. Nice as it is to hand out, forgiveness isn't always something to just hand over to someone and be like

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The only grudge I might have held at one point would be against my mother and stepfather after all the time I was emotionally abused, the death threat and then being made to say nothing about it or be made homeless in the middle of high school.

 

Though after a while all those things just became motivation to leave, which I can finally do around autumn. There'll be no need to harbor a grudge when I have socioeconomic success and unlimited emotional fortitude as badges for my work.

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Seconded, I've really grown to like Jesse despite our long strife

It's mutual, that election season just brought out the worst in people, myself included.

 

I don't really have the energy to hold more than one or two grudges at a time, I generally just forgive people by default unless they funk up in a huge way.

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