This one was the best one ever!
Let's go boy!! DARKSHADOW, C'MON!!! XD
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YOU EXPECT ME TO WATCH ALL THAT
ALSO WHO IS WHO I THOUGHT I HAD IT FIGURED BUT THEN WHAT I THOUGHT DIDN'T MAKE SENSE
NVM I FIGURED IT OUT
YOU JUST ARE ALL VARIOUS "NERD" VOICES SO ITS TOUGH
The one that's shouting a lot in the video is Sai XD
The one who sounds crystal clear is Yui.
Process of elimination, I'm the third voice.
Whoops, wrong game.
For those of you who haven't checked out Reptilious's nuzblog (which you totally should; he's doing his very first episode today and he's a pretty funny dude), I'm starting a Moemon Platinum randomlocke here. But wait, there's more! He's also doing one! With the same seed that I used for mine! So we'll both have the same randomized world but we're doing separate runs, meaning that if you go follow his thread plus this one, you'll get two commentaries for the price of one! What a steal!
So let's get right into it.
Come to think of it, didn't I try doing one of these before? Yet it's not in the thread. What happened anyway? Oh well; let's not worry about that and just take our bold first steps into the world of monologues! May the odds be ever in my favor. (They won't be; this is Locke & Load.)
Hello, Rowan! I've got a friend who really doesn't like you. Because you monologue. All. The fucking. Time.
*a lot of talking with Rep (we're in a Discord call while doing this) ensues because there were so many things to potentially screenshot that I didn't screenshot*
Nah, I'm just doing Locke & Load because gradually slipping into insanity because of the RNG is good for my health, man.
I waited for Rep to catch up to me here, so we can pop the briefcase open at the same time.
1, 2, 3...
These sprites don't match. Also neither of us want Jynx. I'll be taking Marowak though.
Primeape OP. Let's just pretend I won that battle for the sake of my sanity. I'll have my revenge soon enough, Reptile... but for now, let's head to Sandgem Town. This is also an opportunity to scout out Route 201 and see what we can get here.
...oh. I can't hurt it. Poison Jab is my only damaging move. Let's head to the lab I guess.
thank ms skeltal
you don't say
Now then, having purchase some poke balls, it's time to head back through Route 201 so I can fill mom in on how I'm going on an epic quest. Hopefully I'll encounter something that isn't Probopass.
Welp, GG. Rep can't top this.
OH MY FUCKING GOD I COULD HAVE HAD A HYPER BEAM DUCK! I'm so upset that this is probably the only time Poison Jab will ever actually poison something when it would kill.
Naming my rival Reptile was the best idea.
At this point, Rep asked "what's at the lake?", so I then realized I can go there for an additional catch. Neat. Let's go see what's over yonder.
Speaking of the lake... this is fortunately still Route 201 so I can kill it. Now then, what's at the lake?
The evidence claims that I do not. But I do know how to catch Pokemon despite that. Proceed anyway, since I don't really have a choice in the matter.
With Lucas's tutorial out of the way, let's see what I can get here. Hopefully it is not a steel-type.
This is actually worse. At least I get XP for it. Rep, meanwhile, has apparently encountered a Feebas, therefore reminding me of my eternal quest to just FIND A FUCKING PRISM SCALE!!! In the meantime, what did I miss out on for this Sunkern that I can't not kill?
I'm not stuck with you this time, fucker.
First trainer. Let's see what you've got!
(it was a Caterpie. A fucking Caterpie, guys)
"So Rep, the first two trainers have had a Caterpie and a Surskit. By Locke & Load rules, the third dude's gonna have like Mewtwo or something."
Still not enough to kill ms skeltal though, even if it did come a bit close.
Oh fuck off, Lucas.
I didn't, but continue.
That doesn't necessarily sound like a saying, so much as just something people happen to say. No I am not familiar with that saying. I am a thief.
*Lots of running around, giving Rep his parcel, and getting a Pokétch, ensues, and I finally have a watch. It has a pedometer. That's pretty neat.*
Route 204 is out of the correct order, but I really need a catch.
Wiz! You came back! Finally, I caught something, and I also caught an item out the corner of my eye. And I got to find out what I missed out on while I was heading up that way. It was a Mudkip.
And now let's see what I can catch on the route I'm supposed to be on.
But first, I have to battle Rep again.
HA! FUCK YOU!
I'm not ignoring this loss. That's the end of this run for me, but Rep is still going to keep going with the same seed, so you can check out his blog to see what could have been.
I can still kick your ass at League of Legends though, @Reptilious
In Loving Memory:
I'm going to actually start part 2 of my Platinum randomlocke right now, so expect another update today.
kay second episode now
I'm having a weird sense of deja vu right about now.
Dude, the last time you trusted me with a Pokemon it got killed by a Volt Tackle. Not really setting the best example here. Now then, what do we get?
After a lot of time (and I mean a lot) deliberating on if I should pick Steelix or Crobat (even though Politoed is by far my favorite of these options), I ultimately had to ask one of my most trusted advisors and also the magic 8-ball. Both of them agreed: Steelix. So Steelix it shall be.
This is actually pretty nice.
THIS IS SOME META AS FUCK RUBBING IT IN AND I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD BE ANGRY OR GREATLY AMUSED. I AM GOING TO GO WITH A COMBINATION OF THE TWO.
My greatest enemy in the pokemon universe.
You're getting a Magikarp, fucker. Sure it'll be a scary Gyarados later, but that's later and not now. For now, I'd at least like to get my first Gym Badge. I'll take the Bastiodon. Despite the enemy Magikarp having Jump Kick, I was able to defeat it by cunning abuse of its ability (Color Change) plus my own Mirror Move.
Hopefully we can do a better job at protecting her than Shovel Knight did. Now, let's try and make some catches, starting in Route 201.
Not so nice. Let's try my luck at the lake.
Well this should be nice, assuming I don't kill it.
This Level 2 Shelgon just got a lot scarier. (context: it used Lock-On the previous turn. It has fucking Lock-On and Dynamic Punch together)
I caught it though. I shall name her Agrona. Now, let's see what Route 202 has in store for us.
Caught it on the last turn before its burn would have killed it. Say hello to Queen B. I wanted to name her Beatrice after Swain's raven, but that's reserved for if I get a Honchkrow or something.
I'm not mad that I missed out on a Haunter for Vespiquen. I'm not mad that this Haunter could only really be damaged by Shldknght, forcing me to switch into her against it. I'm not even mad that it had and used Hydro Cannon, and critted to kill Shldknght from full health. What I am mad about is that it managed to sweep my entire team. This is stupid.
Maybe if I use the same name that I used the first time, things will work out better.
Easiest starter choice of my life.
I've opted to name this girl Kat. And now it's time to make catches... again. Starting at Route 201 as always.
I can catch that. And I did.
It even scared the hell out of me on the way into the pokeball. Say hello to Froppy. Who had only 1 HP when I caught her. Which is fine, because I have to go back home and talk to mom anyway, and it happens to be a decent checkpoint on my way to Lake Verity for my second catch.
Oops. Next stop: Route 202.
This thing has Tail Glow and Aeroblast. Jesus H. Fuck. I'd name it Minnie since that's the name I gave my Raichu in Emerald, but this one is too powerful for that shit. I've had to name her L.Ex.Murdr (Lord Explosion Murder). This girl is straight-up terrifying. I'm on a Discord call with Rep right now and he even said "How did you not get blown the fuck out by that thing?". I think we'll call it here, to end the episode on a high note.
Seriously, Lord Explosion Murder is absolutely bonkers.
I don't like doing these Platinum episodes on desmume because of how it handles screenshots as opposed to no$gba, but I don't really have much choice. Oh well.
Also this exists on Route 201. And it has Sleep Powder. And Dream Eater. Which is actually a rather fitting move since one of these almost killed Lord Explosion Murder because wild Zapdos also knows Bonemerang. However, I get the team grinded up to Level 7 without any incident, so it's time to progress. I'll be focusing primarily on leveling Froppy, since she's the only one that hasn't evolved and I'd like to be confident in evolving her at about Level 40, assuming I get my hands on a Water Stone or a King's Rock.
Fortunately, the first enemy trainer - Youngster Tristan - doesn't have anything overly spooky.
Lass Natalie - my second opponent - isn't much more interesting. Her Bellsprout has a neat ability, but it's still just a Bellsprout, and it's not like Froppy has any super-effective moves.
The last time I got to this guy, I joked that because the first two trainers were so weak and uninteresting, this kid would have like a Mewtwo or something. Hopefully that isn't actually the case. Although even if it is, I do have Lord Explosion Murder.
Poison Point isn't exactly an ability I want to deal with right now. Best let Lord Explosion Murder handle this one. And killing it got Froppy to Level 10! Let's put the next few levels on Lord Explosion Murder, since she's our resident god.
Also there was a Moomoo Milk here. Has CowCow blessed this run? I won't let you down, friend. (I hope). Anyway, now that we've reached Jubilife City, let's go bring our important parcel to Reptile, and also get a Pokétch. Reptile says he's heading to Oreburgh City (hasn't he already been there tho? coulda swore he cleared the gym by just ice punching it), and for some reason people just leave Lustrous Orbs lying around in the trainer school.
However, this is still not a Prism Scale, so it is worthless junk to me. Also, both of the trainers you can battle in here got crushed by Lord Explosion Murder. For now, let's head to the nearby routes and see about catching stuff. I learned from Rep's blog that there's a fishing place outside of Jubilife, so let's start there this time.
I hope I catch something neat...
Shit. My logic was "Froppy can probably Body Slam this without killing then tank it out when Monferno inevitably is a bitch to catch", but apparently I was mistaken. Oh well. Off to Route 204 to try catching something there. Best let Kat handle this one ._.
UMM... I THINK I'M A BIT UNDERQUALIFIED TO CATCH THIS, BUT LET'S TRY IT ANYWAY.
Let's name her Sindragosa. Which somehow fucking fits. Her moveset isn't that great, but hopefully she learns some good moves as she levels up. Let's grind her up a bit and also see the item on this route, and what I missed out on for a Garchomp.
Yes, because this Revival Herb will be so helpful in my nuzlocke.
Oh boy. I'm gonna grind everyone up to 15 (since that's a solid number where everyone will learn a move) then report back.
We interrupt this interruption to bring you the following:
Ravaged Path is a place that exists. Let's make a catch real quick.
ezpz. Let's name her Stratos. What did I miss out on for this exactly?
I like Altaria more than Flygon, so this is fine. Back to grinding, which will take even longer now that Stratos has joined us. We now return to your regularly-scheduled intermission.
Well, that took a while. Here's a recap of any interesting movechanges on the team.
Aside from Stratos and Kat, nobody was especially well-off with moves they were learning from the grind. Oh well. Let's get back to actually progressing. I want that Gym Badge by the end of this episode! But getting it won't be easy. I have to get through Reptile and stuff, not to mention all the catches I have to make along the way. I'll be keeping Stratos in the front of the team since Swablu levels insanely slow compared to the rest of my team (seriously, it feels like almost half my grinding session was spent on Stratos).
Okay well fuck you too dude. I actually liked my Marowak, but noooooooo, you have to just Ice Punch it to death then steal it. Little bastard. Both "Reptile's" Marowak and his starter - Igglybuff - get their buns ripped apart by Stratos and her raw unmatched power. Good shit.
It better fucking not be. This is actually turning out to be a really good run and I'll be damned if you fuck it up for me. And speaking of our good run, let's see what wild catch is waiting for me on Route 203.
Dude, nice. Hopefully it doesn't die on me.
Nice. Say hello to our new friend, Fry. Who's actually pretty fuckin neat. And in need of grinding so that she's on par with the rest of the team. Please hold.
Conveniently, Shinx evolves at level 15. The grinding for Fry went super-fast, especially compared to everyone else. Maybe Shinx's line just levels really fast? Whatever the case, let's continue onward. There are actually still more catches to be made and stuff. However, short of catching and subsequently grinding up Fry, only one thing of note happened on Route 203.
This scumbag pokemon. Which, conveniently enough, can get absolutely demolished by Fry. So let's head to the Oreburgh Gate, which is yet another new area, so we can make ANOTHER new catch. Hopefully it's cool.
What is this, a crossover episode? However, because I actually have a full team for once, Scraw will have to go in the box for now. Stratos mows down everything between her and Oreburgh City, and I rather unceremoniously arrive. Rep tells me the gym leader has buggered off to the coal mine, but before heading down that way, I want to make a catch just north of Oreburgh, on Route 207.
Bah. It died, but I don't feel particularly bad about losing a Skiploom. For now, let's see what the mine has in store for a catch.
Not bad. I caught the Mightyena and promptly named her Cackles.
Also, this random miner has a Groudon. Give this man a promotion. With that business taken care of, it's time to go tackle the gym. I'll let Sindragosa lead the charge this time, since her moveset needs some work.
Rather fittingly, the first trainer between me and the gym leader had a Tyranitar. However, it was no match for Sindragosa's deadly Bubble Beam.
And the other guy had a Mew. They're really putting some spooky pokemon down to try and stop Sindragosa, but in the true spirit of having a slightly overleveled Garchomp, there were simply no fucks to give that day. Seeing as I have no idea what Roark will lead off with, I'll let Stratos handle whatever comes out first.
You and me, nerd boy, let's boogie.
HA! I knew using Powder Snow was a good idea!
Fucking shit Roark, calm down. Fry should be able to handle this Entei easy-peasy though.
Like I said, easy-peasy. Roark's last Pokémon is Horsea, which I let Stratos handle. And with that...
We have our very first gym badge! Only seven more to go. Roark also gives us a TM for Fling. I think this is a good spot to end the episode. We got a full team and ended with one for the first time in Locke & Load history. How exciting!
Hopefully this run keeps going this smoothly.
Today's episode of Locke & Load has a special guest!
And that guest is our very own @Kill Son Goku this time. His text will be red for this episode, and mine will be green.
After quickly going over the team with Sai (because he has been reading the updates, but hasn't), let's resume our adventure.
Oh, you know what the first thing we gotta do is?
What's the first thing we gotta do?
We gotta catch an HM slave.
I mean that's definitely an important thing.
So what do we call this HM slave anyway?
Nah see I was thinking like... Jamal or something.
Because I'm from the South and I need a slave name dammit!
Okay naw seriously, I'll probably just name it like... noHoMo.
Okay, who do we box for now? I'm thinking Kat because she's not all that great right now.
But if you don't keep her on the team she never will become great.
Well I mean like it's not permanent. Just for now.
You'll forget about her.
I'm not gonna forget about my fucking starter.
I believe you. (sarcasm)
Well, look who decided to show up. Reptile tells us about the next gym and stuff, but first...
What's down here?
So does this count as a new route to catch Pokémon in?
Oh no it's Looker!
Oh no it's Looker...
Another monologue! Because we all know how I love those monologues.
Oh no, mystery men! How dare they be so mysterious.
That's not the first Registeel I've encountered this run.
Galactic Grunt and his friend Galactic Grunt are dealt with without anyone on my team dying, though Grunt B's Registeel did get the proc on Ancient Power twice. Yikes.
Anyway, let's head up north through Route 204 now that noHoMo can break rocks and stuff. Stratos took a bit of a pounding from Grunt B's Registeel, so let's put Froppy up in front while we make our way along.
Well that fits.
Awwwwww, it's cute!
Yes. Let's murder it.
Okay so does this count as a new area to catch Pokémon?
If there's grass then yeah.
I mean, isn't that grass to your left?
No, that's flowers. Let's heal up and get Kat out the box while we're here.
Okay, this is a new route.
Now then, what do we get?
Name it Ten.
I was thinking Vignette.
For the demon gril in Gabriel Dropout. Let's go to the box and see what she's got.
Dude, nice. Vignette will make a fine addition to the party. Who do I box tho?
Let's box Kat. Let's also grind Vignette a bit to see what move she can learn, and also so that life isn't as dangerous for precious demon doggo girl. And by "grind", what I actually mean is "let's sic her on some Galactic Grunts at Valley Windworks." Because we have to do that apparently.
Ay I think this is another new zone. Let's see what we encounter.
A wild fuckboy appeared! Two of them at that! And as it turns out, you don't get wild encounters here. Oh well. Back to Valley Windworks.
I think Vignette is a bit underprepared to take on this Team Galactic Groudon.
You fought a Registeel.
That wasn't with Vig tho.
So, in Moemon, is Nidoran-Male a trap or something?
You know what this means?
It means Rock Wrecker. Because Vignette has that.
Just a sec I needa go find your nuzlocke thread...
Are you doing my joke?
Let's see what's up on this route that I missed for a Houndoom.
OHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOD.
It's fine. Houndoom is better than Articuno anyway.
Because you like it more?
Well that. And also because Articuno is fuckoff hard to catch. Let's murder it with Rock Wrecker.
I want the Skarmory.
Just hope they don't kill it.
OH. Now I really want it. I'm gonna kill the Furret just to be sure. It'll be fine.
See, every time you say that, it ends up being not fine.
See? Told you it'd be fine. Let's name it Valkyrie.
Waitwaitwaitwaitwait, before you finalize its name, let me pitch one too. I'm the special guest!
Alright, what you got for me?
Valkyrie. (raughs in asian)
I love it. Best name. I can't compete with it.
Let me name the next one though. It'll be the first one you kill.
No it won't. I killed a Skiploom a couple episodes ago.
Okay that's fair.
Well gee, that'll be helpful if I ever encounter and capture a Latias.
Yeah. I mean, it's totally possible within the realm of this game.
Yeah but I still haven't found a Prism Scale. Or either of the items to evolve Froppy with.
(also I found an Icicle Plate, but forgot to take a picture)
Yeah good riddance Cheryl.
Sai I think this is a bit much for a fisherman on Route 205!
No it's a fisherman's. This isn't Colosseum.
OH, this is that Magikarp thing. You know that guy that comes at you with six Magikarps?
Yeah but they're not Magikarps anymore. :(
(he got his ass beat, but there were multiple close calls. next dude.)
What!? Fucking Mewtwo.
Yeah. Fucking Mewtwo. I'm just gonna let big boi Stratos handle this.
Get your hit in then switch out!
TO WHAT!? Well I guess Fry's healthy...
FUCK! Fry, no!
First death of the nuzlocke, ladies and gents. It's all downhill from here. Wait no Sindragosa has Pursuit, Mewtwo has to recharge! Let's kill it!
WHAT!? But do you think she's fast enough?
I'd know she was fast enough... IF SHE HAD FUCKING SPEED BOOST! Aight let's see how fast she is...
Okay. Let's pop open Showdown and do some science.
Level 16 Mewtwo is by default, faster.
I think we have to sac someone. But who?
I would say you just go for it. Just go for the Pursuit. Everyone else has a really powerful gimmick, don't they?
Lord Explosion Murder has Tail Glow and Aeroblast. Stratos has Huge Power. That's really about it. Fuck it, let's go for it.
Your sacrifice won't be forgotten.
Let's finish this with our own raid boss.
Oh shit, he's still not done!
Oh right, he still has more pokemon! AHAHAHAHAHA! AND IT'S FUCKING REGISTEEL! WHYYYYYYYY?
I was gonna say "Fry can kill it" but...
Lord Explosion Murder has a fire move.
No she has fucking Mud Shot.
She has Flare Blitz.
But I'm healing this girl first, because that thing has Download.
It has fucking Download!? Can't it like one-hit KO her?
If it survives the Flare Blitz it definitely can, since Lord Explosion Murder's low. So I'm healing.
It has... this is like the third thing we've encountered that has Roar of Time.
We have defeated that fisherman.
But the cost was quite dear. We lost Sindragosa and Fry. But we're finally in town, so let's call it an episode here.
Just remember that Sindragosa died a hero. Let's unbox Valkyrie and Kat I suppose.
In Loving Memory:
I'm still upset about that Mewtwo.
...let's just progress. In the span of two episodes I have now lost an entire team's worth of pokemon. I know I said "it's all downhill from here" when Fry died, but I didn't expect it to go downhill quite this fast. Hopefully I can get some sick replacements. And so, with the fearless quartet of Scraw, Froppy, Stratos, and Lord Explosion Murder at my side, let's see what's up in Eterna City.
If only the grim fucking reaper was so kind to my team as you, good sir.
Not a good time, Rep. I'm having a mass funeral.
No I didn't. I'm here to get gym badges and stuff.
No shit, sherlock. Let me just hack the fucking game so that everything on my team dodges everything.
Cynthia gives me the HM01 for Cut, so now we can access the Team Galactic base right there in Eterna City. Or so you'd think! But we need to hit the gym first and get some sick gains of gym badges. Would have been nice if Cynthia mentioned that instead of just "it can be used in the field"! Useless bitch dunno how you always win the waifu wars but you don't deserve it fuckin piece of shit...
Your Gym Badge. Hand it over.
It was at this point that imgur started to adamantly refuse to upload any further images, because imgur is only slightly more useful than Cynthia. So I guess we'll tackle Gardenia's gym and the Galactic hideout next time.
We hope to see you again!
Me First / Substitute / Double-Edge / Fire Fang
Ability: Huge Power
Solar Beam / Magnet Bomb / Rock Slide / Powder Snow
Raichu (Lord Explosion Murder)
Ability: Rock Head
Tail Glow / Aeroblast / Flare Blitz / Mud Shot
Whirlwind / Pain Split / Doom Desire / Body Slam
In Loving Memory:
Ability: Dry Skin
Calm Mind / Roar of Time / Toxic / Charge
Ability: Effect Spore
Thunder Wave / Double Team / Sludge / Shadow Claw
Captivate / Secret Power / Iron Head / Rock Wrecker
Ability: Cloud Nine
Rolling Kick / Pain Split / Shadow Force / Fake Out
Again, this is only vengeance for boxing your starter. I hope you learned your lesson.
There's an upside, however.
Yui will get a surprise egg from Cynthia. In OG Platinum, she gives the player a Togepi egg...but since it's Randomizer...the sky's the limit!
Alright lads & ladies, let's get this over with.
Somehow I doubt that.
Lass Caroline decided to lead off with Magneton. Needless to say, I don't want Scraw fighting that shit. Let's leave this one to Lord Explosion Murder.
Oh, well that was easy. Lass Caroline's second Pokemon - a Doduo - went down pretty easily by Scraw's flaming mouth. Next challenger.
Ay gurl, is your name Djenne? Because I'm about to burn your team like the Great Mosque.
At least it isn't the raid boss. After Lord Explosion Murder explode-murdered Mew (who actually put up a pretty good fight), the last pokemon was Smeargle. It couldn't hold a candle to Stratos's fuckery.
Only one Pokemon?
oh fuckle. it's shuckle. However, it could not fuckle as hard as I can fuckle, so shuckle is out of luckle. Now it's time to fight the gym leader, so buckle up.
Suuuuuuuure you aaaaaaaare. Whatever you say, gurl.
I mean you did give me directions. And we met literally right outside your gym door. I'd be more surprised if I didn't find you. Are you flirting with me?
You're flirting with me. But I'm a girl. This can only mean one thing.
That is not a grass-type. It is, however, my favorite legendary. So good on you. Best let Stratos handle this; Scraw can't really hurt it.
Wow, talk about an anticlimax.
That is also not a grass-type. Are you sure you didn't mean to say you're the water-type gym leader? I mean, your gym does have fountains and stuff.
Still not a grass-type, Gardenia. I'm not entirely convinced you know what you're talking about.
In the cases where they don't fucking die, not really. It's actually pretty easy outside of the existential fear of permadeath.
That's two badges now. Six more, and I'll be impressed that this run has gotten that far! Gardenia gave me TM86 for Lock-On (which - according to Gardenia - does more damage the heavier your target is, but I don't remember that effect), and now we can go to the Galactic Base.
I was going to say "but first, what's this place?", but upon uploading the screenshot I now notice the bicycles parked outside, indicating that this establishment is a brick and mortar market within which one can exchange specified quantities of currency for a two-wheeled vehicle powered by pressing the pedals in circular motions with one's lower limbs.
I want a bike.
Alas, the proprieter of this establishment is nowhere to be seen. Whoever decided just leaving the shop empty without locking up is a good idea should probably be fired. Oh well, let's use our Goldeen's miraculous power to chop down small trees so that we can break into Team Galactic's headquarters.
Oooh what's back here?
A bit late for May the 4th, but it'll do.
Oh great. You again. I'm impressed by how you somehow know Transform, but that's a different story. Looker warns us that there are two sets of stairs, and one of them must be a trap. Also that the Galactic Grunts aren't smart. Which explains how nobody noticed Looker in their midst, even if he can make himself identical.
I'm here to kick ass and chew gum. And I don't chew gum. Time to kick some ass I guess, starting with the two grunts on the first floor.
Also guys, seriously, lose the bob cuts. Your outfits and hair dye are stupid enough, but the bob cuts make it impossible to take you seriously.
Let's ditch Substitute. Not like we ever use it anyway, and putting bitches to sleep is way more effective than throwing away a quarter of your health. With the grunts defeated, let's see what's up that staircase they were guarding.
Neat. Let's go up the right stairs this time.
Then I'd imagine it's weak.
Hey look at that, I was right.
I should be the one thanking the grunt, as it turns out. Killing her Machamp taught Froppy how to be tankier.
The other item is a Jaboca Berry. Way less exciting. Since Froppy's attacks are both low on PP, it's time for a quick trip to the Pokemon Center, then to find out who that mysterious Team Galactic figure over there is.
Also I saw another item and took it. Galactic has some really nice things just lying around in their base.
Actually I'd like to discuss your awful uniforms and inability to store valuable items like a Master Ball or Mind Plate in a secure vault rather than just leaving them on the floor.
Protip: Don't call a lady's outfit awful.
Can you blame me though?
It was on this turn that I learned, Jupiter's Illumise has Seed Flare. Good to know we're back to our standard pace of at least one death per episode. I hate my life. Sorry Skaia, but it looks like Scraw can't survive in this universe either. Heart full of vengeance, I sic Lord Explosion Murder to Aeroblast this Illumise out of this very plane of existence, earning the cycle shop owner's gratitude, but at the cost of a dear companion.
Needless to say, I take the egg. Let's get my bike and figure out just what's in this egg.
A what? After a rather uneventful conversation where I get the Explorer's Kit, it's time to make this egg hatch.
That's not bad. I know just what to name it.
Needless to say, being only level 1 due to just hatching, Eggsalad has some grinding to do. I'll report back with a grinded-up Eggsalad next episode.
But before we end this episode, I want to make a catch. I'm really sad about Scraw dying so maybe this will make me feel better? It's also a good opportunity to give Eggsalad some easy levels.
TANK IT OUT FROPPY!
Nothing can hurt me more than losing Scraw and Froppy in the same episode. Now that I've dealt with the bikers on the bike road, though, let's head for the grass at the bottom of the route and see what I can catch here tonight.
Not bad. I'll switch into Lord Explosion Murder for Flare Blitz and--
Phew. This thing has a terrifying moveset, by the way. So I know exactly what to call it (I don't; I spent a while thinking up a name). Say hello to Tortos, named after this raid boss. What did I miss out on tho?
Talk about dodging a bullet.
Oh. Perhaps I spoke too soon. Nothing Lord Explosion Murder can't handle though.
Oh hey another route. Is what I would say, except Route 207 is the one outside of Oreburgh, where we killed a Skiploom a few episodes back. But on the bright side, it is right near a Pokemon Center. However, I'd rather not end the episode in Oreburgh.
Oh hey it's this fuckin nerd. Well my pokedex is looking more like a DeathNote thanks for asking. Leave me alone this isn't a good time. He did, however, give us the dowsing machine, which makes feel a little bit better. Not much though.
Oh hey this is another new zone. Let's get a catch. WHAT'S IN THE CAVE, COWCOW!?
Cyrus is in the cave! But I cannot catch Cyrus!
Dude, nice! Except it keeps using Splash so--
You're mine now, asshole. I would name you Sindragosa, but I already did that with a Garchomp a few episodes back. So I guess you'll have to settle for being named after the blood quarter boss from Icecrown Citadel instead of the frost quarter boss. Your name is Lana'thel. However, I'll just call you Lana for short, since that coincides with Gen 7's very own best girl. But make no mistake. Your namesake is Blood Queen Lana'thel.
What did I miss out on for this anyway?
It's a Caterpie. I'm glad tb--
WAIT NO! ...wait, it's a Caterpie, what am I worried about?
Another new catch. I'm just gonna try my best to dodge all the trainers. I'll come back next episode when I am not little more than a hollow husk of a trainer, crushed by the tragic and unexpected deaths of his dearest and newest friends alike. Let's fish for this catch in the water.
I'd like this, but dupe clause prevents it because I had Vignette already. Sorry Houndour. Guess fishing isn't the way to go about this.
I can't dodge this dude. My ninja skills aren't quite that advanced yet. But there is grass down there, so after beating Hiker Robert's Mightyena, it's time to make our actual catch for this route.
Alright. Sure. Whatever.
CAN THESE WILD BABBIES JUST STOP HAVING THESE ATTACKS PLEASE?
dude wtf. Let's name it Deathray.
I also missed an Octillery for Deathray. I'm not gonna comment on it this time, because those "I got the good end" comments have resulted in a really angry fish and the untimely death of Tortos. After some really stressful trainer-dodging, however, I finally made to Hearthome City!
And who the fuck are you?
And with that you've lost my interest. Good day. Okay now before I end this episode, I saw what appears to be a route just near the entrance of the city. Let's go check it out, against my better judgment.
Well fine I'll just go find some other route. Except not because all the other routes are blocked too. Guess we'll pick this up tomorrow and do some grinding.
In Loving Memory:
I'm still really upset about all those losses from the last episode. Eggsalad I can live without, but the other three were really good. Oh well.
Um... thanks? I don't know what this is or what it does.
Oh that helps actually. I'll be sure to head to Route 209 when we get there. Back to the grind.
Apparently Suicune just hangs out in the wild around here. Along with Lucario.
Of. Fucking. Course. Of course the Suicune's Cross Chop is going to land a crit, killing Deathray from full health! Why wouldn't it!? It's not like I'm still recovering from the last episode or anything! That'd be crazy! D:<
DON'T YOU DARE
Okay, lemme explain why this was the single most stressful wild encounter of this entire nuzlocke. Scizor's ability in this seed (one of them anyway) is Arena Trap, meaning I can't switch into Lord Explosion Murder and Flare Blitz this thing. It also knows Focus Blast which is super-effective against Lana. And Calm Mind, which will both increase the power of Focus Blast and make itself tankier against Lana. And Double Team, so that it's harder to hit to begin with. And Secret Power, which on grassy terrain, can put Lana to sleep (see above). And due to Scizor's bug-steel typing, it resists Lana's signature Icy Wind. I do not want to fight another one of these with Lana, but I have to grind her up most of all since she's now the weakest link with Deathray's death. Between these Scizors and the wild Suicunes with their Cross Chops, it feels like Lana is definitely going to die if I grind her on the route proper. She'll have to receive special treatment and get her grinding in the nearby cave.
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude. Also I figured out how the dowsing machine works in this gen. I like Gen 5's better. I also remembered there are trainers on Route 20whatever I haven't battled. Let's clean those up with Stratos right quick to help her grind efforts.
Oh hi Wattson. Fancy meeting you here.
Lots of grinding for Stratos later...
Stratos has finally evolved. Trace is a nice ability to have. I've also done all the grinding for Lord Explosion Murder by this point, so now I just need to spend a ton of time grinding up Lana. Since Glaceon learns a move at level 36, I'll be giving Lana an extra level for this grinding session.
Please, not like this...
eight levels later...
By this point, Lana has surpassed Lord Explosion Murder as my favorite team member. With the grinding done, let's make some progress by hitting up the contest hall, where our resident gym leader has buggered off to.
Oh, you again. Hi. Apparently mom - who is also here except I didn't recognize her - is a contest star. Keira seems impressed. She gives us an accessory and mom gives us a dress, before she takes off, leaving me to my own devices.
I want your gym badge.
Go back to Kalos you pretender!
Oh I don't have to do a contest first? Sweet. Let's get out of this place and go where we actually belong. The Gym. The very convoluted gym. I do not like this place.
The first trainer in this gym has goddamn Moltres. If only Lana knew an attack Moltres was 4x weak to. Oh wait, she does. And she's faster, probably due to the level gap. Finding my way through is annoying, but ultimately not that difficult. Bringing me to Fantina.
I do not like you.
And unlucky for you, Lana only just recently learned Fire Blast.
My gut says this is a job for Lord Explosion Murder.
And this is definitely a job for Tail Glow-boosted Mud Shots. Overall, the most fight Fantina's team put up at any point was her Munchlax used Ice Fang on Lord Explosion Murder one single time. And with that...
I now have three badges! Fantina gives me a TM for Magical Leaf, which - as a base 60 power special move that doesn't check accuracy - I immediately give to Lana. Except the only team member that can use this TM is Stratos so... at least I tried ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Anyway, let's head to the next route and also see if those reporters have gotten out of my way by now. Which, they haven't. But I can still go to the next route, so let's head there. I can get a new catch and stuff.
I don't think you want that buddy.
Well if you insist.
Easy game, easy life.
Oh. However, despite Stratos's 4x weakness to ice, a combination of the level gap, Jigglypuff's shitty attack stat, Ice Shard only having base 40 power in gen 4, and Stratos being a tanky gril, this attack didn't really hurt all that much. Rep announces his intent to head to Solaceon Town, which happens to be my destination as well. But first, new catch.
This isn't usually the effect I get. What's happening?
Good thing I have a Master Ball.
Rep pointed this out to me yesterday, but I have the worst luck with things randomly knowing moves that kill my teammates, but otherwise have absurdly good luck. So with that in mind, what did I miss out on for fucking Palkia? (it was Shuppet)
WHAT THE FUCK? Needless to say, imma put Ceto in front so she can grind up on these trainers.
And this must be the rock thing that guy with the keystone was talking about. Let's check it out. And all I really got for that was a miniscule history lesson that didn't really teach me anything. This is the Hallowed Tower. It was built many years ago. Let's get to town and--
Oh hi. Again. A whole lot of nothing ensues from that conversation, and while many would be content to end the episode here, I am not many! I found a cave near town, so I want to go inside it and get another new catch!
WHAT'S IN THE CAVE!?
Some items apparently. But no Pokemon. And a couple hidden items I found with the dowsing machine.
Including a second Iron Plate. So while I didn't find a new catch here, there's still Route 210 just north of town. Let's make another catch to wrap this episode up.
Mine. Bandit's actually pretty powerful. I'll have to keep my eyes open for any Razor Claws so that I can evolve her. I think between her and Ceto, we can end this episode on a high note.
We still lost Deathray tho.
In Loving Memory:
Small bonus episode.
Initially this was just going to be some off-screen grinding for Ceto and Bandit, but the Lost Tower is south of the town we left off in, so let's see if this is a new zone where I can make another catch. I also want to backtrack to Eterna City real quick because apparently there's a route outside of it that I didn't know about.
Koume has an Adamant nature, which is unfortunate. Still, I can make a decent mixed sweeper out of her if the odds come out just right. Let's head to Route 211.
Hopefully Stratos's Solar Beam doesn't obliterate this thing.
Verdict: It didn't. I think I'll grind up Koume instead of Venom, since Ariados kinda sucks. So I was healing up at Eterna City when I realized...
These are the fuckers that were blocking my path earlier! It's on!
Also I got another plate for my collection. Unfortunately, the reporters are still blocking my path back at Hearthome, so this bonus episode ends here.
When the next real episode is out, expect a well-grinded update on Ceto, Bandit, and Koume.
QUICK UPDATE: About three minutes after posting this, a random trainer's Shaymin used Cross Chop. Needless to say, Bandit won't be part of that update I was talking about.
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