The Adventures of Rewas - Episode 1

[Enguin Enguin Enguin Enguin]

Rewas walked home alone through the streets of Zarasai after yet another triple shift as custodian of the local public bathing house. His clothes had become so ingrained with faecal matter that he had elected to leave them behind and make the journey home naked, a long-time fantasy made possible by the unseasonably warm nights of recent weeks.

As he meandered through the familiar cobblestoned streets laced with rats and dead homeless people, a distant light caught his eye, a neon sign he couldn't quite make out. Veering slightly off course, he wandered toward it, intrigued.

"Juicy Wingz", he read aloud to himself, knowing it would be a nicer way to incorporate the name into the narrative. As he stared at the various meals and promotions depicted in the posters plastering the windows, the familiar hunger pangs returned. He had no money on him, monthly subscriptions to thirty-seven different futanari sites drained his weekly income to the bare minimum survivable, so he just stood and stared and fantasised.

Eventually this drew the attention of the establishment's only night-shift worker, who gently opened the door and asked him to vacate the premises. In his sleep-deprived state and overall rapey mindset, Rewas mistook this for a sexual advance and leapt forward through the entrance.

The worker leapt back in fear and kicked out at Rewas before running away and out of the restaurant as fast as her malnourished Eastern Europeam legs could carry her. The kick sent Rewas spiralling into a table, and in falling over it he stubbed both his big toes. Enraged, he tossed the table at the wall, only for it to bounce back and hit him im the leg.

This sent Rewas into a blind fury and he rampaged through the modest chain eatery; smashing chairs through the windows, knocking a drink dispenser into a claw machine, ripping up every poster and menu he could find, and urinating on the floor before leaping the counter, smashing the deep fryers with the cash register, eating a kilo of frozen chicken, and fleeing the scene.

Rewas awoke the next morning feeling drained, his memories of the previous night left hazy by the sheer volume of uncooked meat he had ingested. After a traditional Lithuanian breakfast of rainfall and sadness he fired up his archaic desktop and loaded his favourite Russian news website.

He was shocked to recognise his face on the leading story's header image.