Papa Enguin's Pointhouse

[Enguin Enguin Enguin Enguin]

 

1. You do not already have over 40k points. This benchmark coming from the fact that that is the most points you will ever actually need, as it allows you to buy a permanent member group and that's pretty much the endgame.

2. You are not Lithuanian, or of Lithuanian descent.

3. You are demonstrably not a crochet enthusiast with a dark secret.

4. You do not have a stupid alias that is either the same as your current name, a name by which you have never gone, or you are such an irrelevant member that your thinking you actually need an alias is laughable.

5. You appreciate the understated decadence of Portland, Oregon.

 

1.As you can see, I am poor.

 

2.I am a full-blooded american white guy and was born in the almost-always-hot state of Texas.

 

3.I hate crochet.

 

4.I do not have an alias.

 

5.Portland, Oregon is the most beautiful city ever, hands down. I wish I could move there and leave horrid Texas.

 

 

1. Live for a minimum of four consecutive years.

2. Inhale oxygen at least seventy-five times.

3. Demonstrate a working knowledge of Pythagoras' theorem.

4. Racially abuse a relevant ethnic minority.

5. Acquire one or more uplikes on YCM.

6. Make in excess of 5 posts on YCM.

7. Present a poem based on the prompt "I wandered lonely as a cuck".

8. Create a religion and obtain a global representation of at least 0.002% by 2020.

9. Disregard task 8, it is impractical and unrealistic.

 

1.While I’ve only been on the site for a little more than a year, I have lived way longer than that.

 

2.Since I am 100% human, I have taken more than 75 breaths in my lifetime.

 

3.Pythagoras's theorem, is a fundamental relation in Euclidean geometry among the three sides of a right triangle. It states that the square of the hypotenuse (the side opposite the right angle) is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides.

 

4.What's a Chinese kid's first lesson? How to build an IPhone

 

5.As of now, I have 258 uplikes. More than enough

 

6.As of now, I have 454 posts. Waaaaaaaaay more than enough.

 

7.I wandered lonely as a cuck.

Wanting just a little duck.

But wait, what the funk?

There it is, in the muck.

 

8.Task number 9 says I should disregard this.

 

9.I disregard task number 8 for being unrealistic.

 

 

Your application has been successful. Congratulations! In accordance with the promises made in the OP, the PEPH board has reviewed your application and elected to reward you with a sum of 53,674 points!

 

Enjoy your rewards, Hansel & Gretel !