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Its not a Noble Knight, but i miss old Warrior playstyle (Warrior series)


Kanashimi

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At last final exam is finished . . . or so to speak, but hey, i got more free time and kinda bored so, i made these cards recently. Also i may be rarely post cards or even online here anymore, but well im still here rn nonetheless. So as usual, here we go with the usual lore. stuff!

 

"Luminesia, once a kingdom of a great name, a land where sacred powers resides. Led by the Shining Queen, as the name implied, the God grants her with an inborn divine power, where those power to keep the continent from endless conflict and corruption. But, her power is so divine and strong where other kngdoms and countries are furious for seeking those power for themself, led into another chaos. But what makes the Shining Queen stand still until now, she is protected by her powerful loyal kinights, known as the Five Azure Knights: the Braveheart Paladin, the Unbreakable Guard, the Marauding Captain, the Matchless General, and the Shimmering Commander. The knights has sworn loyalty to protect her Queen from danger and to spread peace throughout the land, until now . . ."

 

[spoiler=Main Deck Monsters'']

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Amelia, the Braveheart

EARTH/Level 3

Warrior/Tuner/Effect

If Equip Spell Card is equipped to this card: You can add 1 "Gelt, the Unbreakable" from your Deck to your hand. You can only use this effect of "Amelia, the Braveheart" once per turn. If this card is used as a Synchro or Xyz Material of a Warrior Synchro or Xyz Monster, that monster gains this effect.
● If it is Summoned: Return all Spell/Trap Card(s) on the field into the hand.

1000/1000

 

"Known for many names, but the Luminesian call her the Braveheart Paladin, a strong-willed knight, knows no fear. She will do anything to protect her Queen and her people. A daughter of a deceased ex-Azure Knights leader, she continues her father's duty, and someday, chasing her own father as the leader."

 

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Gelt, the Unbreakable

EARTH/Level 3

Warrior/Effect

If you control Equip Spell Card, you can Special Summon this card (from your hand). You can only Special Summon "Gelt, the Unbreakable" once per turn this way. If this card is used as a Synchro or Xyz Material of a Warrior Synchro or Xyz Monster, that monster gains ths effect.
● If it is Summoned: You can add 1 Equip Spell Card that increase ATK and/or DEF from your GY to your hand.

700/1200

 

"The Unbreakabable Guard, a name he got due to his strong swordmanship and perfect defense. Among the Azure Knights, he is close to Amelia and always by her side, due to her father were once comrade in arms with him, consider her father as old brother. After her father fall from the War of the Red River, he promised to keep Amelia safe. A tragedy he dont want to experience again."

 

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Cedric, the Marauding

EARTH/Level 3

Warrior/Effect

If this card is Normal Summoned: You can Special Summon 1 Level 3 EARTH or LIGHT Warrior monster from your hand. If this card is used as a Synchro or Xyz Material of a Warrior Synchro or Xyz Monster, that monster gains this effect.
● Your opponent cannot target other cards you control for attacks or card effects.

1200/800

 

"The Marauding Captain, a name seems unpleasant to hear. A skilled bounty hunter knight who seeks exploration and glory. Not even a beasts nor demons stand a chance against him, and he always priorities other's safety more than himself in battlefield, led him in many near-death experience. Among the Azure Knights, he is close to Freed, due to them having a near-equal swordmanship, consider between them as rival in the council.'

 

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Freed, the Matchless

EARTH/Level 3

Warrior/Effect

If you control an EARTH or LIGHT Warrior monster, you can Special Summon this card (from your hand). You can only Special Summon "Freed, the Matchless" once per turn this way. This card is also treated as LIGHT monster while on the field or GY. If this card is banished while in your GY: You can add this card to your hand. You can only use this effect of "Freed, the Matchless" once per turn.

1200/700

 

"The Matchless General, as the name suggest, he is the incomparable General with brilliant mind and staggering strategies, as he call it as perfect calculations. Thanks to him, Luminesia has won many Great Wars due to his tactics and swordmanship. He and Cedric are known to be the strongest among all of the Azure Knights."

 

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Marie, the Shimmering

LIGHT/Level 3

Warrior/Effect

If this card is Summoned: You can send 1 "Queen Natasha, the Shining" from your hand or Deck to the GY. If you send from your hand, draw 1 card. You can only use this effect of "Marie, the Shimmering" once per turn. If this card is used as a Synchro or Xyz Material of a Warrior Synchro or Xyz Monster, that monster gains this effect.
● Cannot be destroyed by your opponent card effects.

1100/800

 

"Twin sisters of the Shining Queen. While her little sister has been gifted with a divine power, she aware that her sister's safety is in danger, thus she trained as a Knight that one day, she can protect her sister, and now, she is the leader of the Azure Knights, and Queen's right hand man. As her sword slash brightly on the battlefield, she got the title of The Shimmering Commander."

 

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Queen Natasha, the Shining

LIGHT/Level 3

Warrior/Effect

During the Main Phase (Quick Effect): You can discard this card, apply 1 of these effect.
● If you control no monster: Special Summon 1 "Amelia, the Braveheart" or "Marie, the Shimmering" from your Deck. You cannot Special Summon monster during the turn you activate this effect, except Warrior monster.
● If you control Warrior monster: Target 1 monster on the field; it cannot activate its effect or declare an attack this turn.
If this card is in your GY: You can target 1 Equip Spell Card you control; add this card from your GY to your hand, and if you do, destroy that equip Spell Card. You can only use 1 effect of "Queen Natasha, the Shining" per turn.

800/1100

 

"Queen of Luminesia, the Shining. Her ability to control the light and divine powers, to keep darkness out of reach, to keep the land at peace, manipulating spirit energy to control despair. But, an unknown source from the unity of other countries and kingdoms suddenly attacking her kingdom, but she still shine, even in chaos."

 

 

[spoiler=Extra Deck Monsters'']

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Amelia, the Silver Sword

EARTH/Rank 3

Warrior/Xyz/Effect

2 Level 3 Warrior monsters
Once per turn: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; shuffle card(s) from your opponent's hand and/or GY into the Deck up to the number of Equip Spell Card equipped to this card. If this card has "Amelia, the Braveheart" as an Xyz Material, this card gains this effect.
● If this card is sent to the GY: Target 1 Equip Spell Card from your GY; add it to your hand.

1500/1500

 

"The Silver Sword, her cherished and brandished silver sword has won her many batte throughout Luminesia history. A keepsake from her father, becomes her other names."

 

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Amelia, the White Saber

EARTH/Level 6

Warrior/Synchro/Effect

1 Warrior Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner Warrior monsters
This card gains an additional attack during the Battle Phase for each Equip Spell Card equipped to this card. If this card has "Amelia, the Braveheart" as a Synchro Material, this card gains this effect.
● If this card is sent to the GY: Target 1 EARTH Warrior monster from your GY; add it to your hand.

1500/1500

 

"The White Saber, the name she got from the Battle of Forestwood, as her white hair and silver sword pierces and slashes any enemies stand in her way."

 

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Marie, the Lucent Blade

LIGHT/Rank 3

Warrior/Xyz/Effect

2 Level 3 Warrior monsters
Once per turn: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card, then, target Equip Spell Card from your GY up to the number of monster your opponent controls; equip it to this card. If this card has "Marie, the Shimmering" as an Xyz Material, this card gains this effect.
● During either player's turn, if a card or effect is activated: You can send 1 Equip Spell Card you control to the GY; this card is unaffected by card effects during this chain. Your opponent cannot activate cards or effects in response to this effect activation.

1600/1300

 

"A gleaming sword shine through the battlefield. Imbued with the Queen's divine power, her sword slashes even the sunshine in the sky."

 

 

[spoiler=Main Deck Spells/Traps'']

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Azure Knight's Council

Spell/Field

All EARTH and LIGHT Warrior monster you control gains 500 ATK and DEF. If a Warrior monster you control is equipped by an Equip Spell Card that increase its ATK by 500 or less, it gains an additional 500 ATK. If an Equip Spell Card would leaves the field by a card effect while you control a Warrior monster (except if it would be returned to hand by card effect): You can return that Equip Spell Card to your hand instead.

 

"Amelia: Nothing to worry about my Queen, I am Amelia and here is Gelt, in the name of Azure Knights, we shall protect you by our souls, shall this blade of ours bring peace to those in need."
 

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Dance of the Sword

Spell/Quick-Play

Target up to 2 Equip Spell Card you control, then, target the same number of card your opponent controls; destroy them.

 

"Amelia: Hiyaaaa!!! My father teaches me the secret of the dual-wield. Quickslash in the hand, and the surprise stab in the other, no one can survive those blades."

 

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Divine Sword - Durandal Blade

Spell/Equip

Equip only to a Warrior monster. The equipped monster gains 300 ATK. During your Main Phase, if this card is in your GY: You can target 1 Warrior monster from your GY and 1 monster your opponent controls; banish the first target, and if you do, the second target loses 300 ATK.

 

"A sword once belongs to the Incorruptible hero, granting powers to those who wields it, and shivers them who fought against it. Now it is being kept in the Luminesia's secret treasure, waiting to be wielded."

 

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Divine Sword - Phoenix Blade

Spell/Equip

Equip only to a Warrior monster. The equipped monster gains 300 ATK. During your Main Phase, if this card is in your GY: You can target 2 Warrior monster from your GY; banish it, and if you do, add this card to your hand.

 

"Once wielded by the legendary Valkyrian Knight, now in the possession of Freed. They say that this blade imbued with the power of the Sacred Phoenix of Nepthys, it is unbreakable, even a scratch in the sword will regenerate itself. as if it were immortal as the phoenix itself."

 

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Knight's Capture

Spell/Quick-Play

If you control "Amelia, the Braveheart", "Amelia, the Silver Sword", "Amelia, the White Saber" or "Gelt, the Unbreakable", you can activate this card from your hand. Target 1 EARTH or LIGHT Warrior monster you control; place it to your opponent's S/T zone as a Continuous Spell Card until your next Standby Phase, then, it gains this effect while in their S/T zone. You can only activate 1 "Knight's Capture" per turn.
● During the End Phase: Your opponent can add Level 3 or lower EARTH and/or LIGHT Warrior monster from their Deck to their hand up to the number of monster you Special Summon from the Extra Deck this turn.

 

"Amelia: I hope for your safety my Queen, i cannot stand by you right now . . . apologize us my Queen.

Gelt: Tomorrow is the execution day for us eh? Even if we were not in this world anymore, i hope me and Amelia's sacrifice will led Luminesia to victory, my Queen, please be safe"

 

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Knight's Discipline

Spell

If your opponent control more card(s) than you do, while you control an EARTH or LIGHT Warrior monster: You can add up to 2 Equip Spell Card that increases ATK and/or DEF from your Deck or GY to your hand. You cannot Special Summon any monster during the turn you activate this effect except Warrior monster. You can only activate 1 "Knight's Discipline" per turn.

 

"Father: You are doing good Amelia, someday you will become a strong knight, inheriting myself in the battlefield. Remember the dual-wield technique i teach you. being a knight means ready to protect the beloved, and sacrifice your own souls, keep that in mind"

 

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Queen's Sacrifice

Trap

Target 1 "Queen Natasha, the Shinning" you control or from your GY, then declare 1 card name: banish the target face-down, and if you do, your opponent banish 1 card with the declared name face-down from their hand, field, GY, Deck or Extra Deck (you choose). If you have 5 Warrior monster with a different names from your GY, you can banish all cards with the same name as the declared card from your opponent's hand, field, GY, Deck or Extra Deck.

 

"Natasha: Amelia and Gelt captured, Cedric and Freed is still in the frontlines and my sister . . . still unconcious. Is this war ever reach its end? Are my existence to bring peace, only led into humanity chaos? Everyone . . . i must do this, i am sorry, my beloved Luminesian people. My soul shall enlighten those who are in despair, this sacrifice shall awaken the purity of their hearts, but when im gone, the world will be no longer safe from otherworldy threats, my beloved Cedric and Freed, shall both of you, live on, i hope both of you find another comradery in arms, and i see vision of you, fighting the demon of darkness, the despair one and the source of darkness, my beloved Cedric, you must find it, The Risen, the one with the inborn power as me, the one who can stop the darkness thats causing this chaos, but be aware, as he has fragile hearts. Now, i bid farewell to you all. . ."

 

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Royal Funeral

Spell

Discard 1 Level 3 or lower EARTH or LIGHT Warrior monster; draw 2 cards. If you discard "Amelia, the Braveheart" or "Gelt, the Unbreakable", you can also pick 1 "The Warrior Returning Alive" from your Deck or GY; place it to the top of your Deck. You can only use the effect of "Royal Funeral" once per turn.

 

"Amelia: Father . . . i promise i will protect the Queen no matter what! I shall live on, to continue your duty."

 

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Unshaking Will

Trap/Equip

Target 1 Warrior monster from your GY; Special Summon it, then, equip 1 Equip Spell Card from your hand or GY into that monster. If you Special Summon "Amelia, the Braveheart", "Amelia, the Silver Sword", or "Amelia, the White Saber" by this effect; it cannot be destroyed by battle or card effects until the end of your turn. If the targeted monster leaves the field, destroy this card.

 

"Amelia: There is no end to this! They . . . are they even humans? They have a dark skin all over their bodies!

Gelt: Well, their aura give me shivers, i believe they are human with a corrupted hearts, as the Queen mentioned.

Amelia: Ughh! I . . . *unconscious*

Gelt: Amelia!!!"

 

 

FYI: Yes these are Marauding Captain and Freed retrain . . . or their younger version to be exact. Also tried to to connect their past with the storyline Konami made regarding the Marauding Captain and Freed throughout rando's S/T art. So waddya think? I wonder if i miss some lore.

 

Also art taken from Cygames, for those who are wondering (both Rage of Bahamut and Shadowverse)

 

Also yes still missing 2 cards, will ad later on, cuz now time to sleep~

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Ok, I think your cards are quite interesting, as such I will review them:

 

I will get this one out of the way quickly, since I don't like taking about it much. You need to fix your grammar a bit. I know everybody is sick of hearing about grammar these days and I know that your first language might not be English, but when it comes to a Yu-Gi-Oh! card, grammar is important, so keep that in mind.

 

I see that your goal with these cards was a "swarm the field" strategy that can bring Synchros and Xyz, and focuses on Equip Spell Cards to do so. An interesting idea nonetheless, but there are some things that might need a little more work:

 

1. The overall synergy between your cards is kinda lack luster. Most of the cards focus on Amelia and her other forms, with a little Gelt in there, but cards like Marie and Queen Natasha seen a little out of place since they work more with each other then with other parts of the Deck; and Cedric and Freed seem like they have no purpose at all, especially Freed, who, in my opinion, is the worst monster out of all of them. The other thing when it comes to synergy is the "500 or less" boost that you made as a restriction for your cards. That restriction it kinda limits what you can do in terms of plays, card choices, and, in your case since you are the creator of these cards, card design. My suggestion is to make your cards rely on Equip Spell with a specific name, like "Divine Sword" since you already have 2 of them.

 

2. The way the strategy of the deck works kinda conflicts to what you wanted them be. Since it's a "swarm the field" strategy that wants to get to extra deck monsters, most of the time, your Equip Spells will be useless since only one of your Extra Deck monsters can get them from the GY. If a situation comes up, where you cannot access your Extra Deck monsters, your whole strategy falls apart.

 

2.5* Quick note on "Amelia, The Silver Sword"s effect: if you detach "Amelia, The Braveheart" then "Silver Sword" will not have that effect anymore, plus when it is sent to the GY, the Xyz Materials are sent as separate cards from the monster. A quick way to fix this would be: "If this card was Summoned using "Amelia, The Braveheart" as a material, this card gains this effect:"

 

3. Since you want these cards to work together, I suggest you give them a "gimmick", something that is placed among each of them; In that way, making them have synergy will be much easier. Since you want something that has to do with Equip Spell Cards, you can do something like, give them a once per turn effect of their own, but if they are equipped with a "Divine Sword" Equip Spell, that effect of theirs gets some kind of boost or bonus. With this, making them work together will be much easier.

 

4. Since you are making a lore for them, which is a really cool idea btw, you need to make your cards to stand up to the lore. For example: Gelt is said to have an unbreakable defense, so his DEF should be a little higher, like 2000 or something, and an effect that can prevent his destruction. Another example can be the Queen herself; Since she is said to be the most powerful one, she should be this deck's boss monster, the monster that you want to get as soon as possible. And "Unshaking Will", by its name, should not be a reviving card as its primary effect; It should be a trap that protects all of your monsters, and THEN have a secondary reviving effect if you desire. (Another Quick note, since Equip Traps don't exist, I suggest you change that, because things like this are for the Experimental part of the forum. You can make the card a Continuous Trap and have it to Equip upon activation, like "Call of the Haunted" for example).

 

Overall, even though your cards need a little more work, they have an interesting concept and have potential. The artwork is nice, my favorite being "Royal Funeral", and the fact that you add lore to your cards it's just amazing. I believe you can make something really good out of these cards and this concept.

 

If you wanna talk more, you can send me a message anytime and I will reply as soon as I can.

 

Keep up the good work and have fun while doing it!

 

See ya.

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Thx for the reply, i appreciate it, but first . . .

 

Ok, I think your cards are quite interesting, as such I will review them:

 

I will get this one out of the way quickly, since I don't like taking about it much. You need to fix your grammar a bit. I know everybody is sick of hearing about grammar these days and I know that your first language might not be English, but when it comes to a Yu-Gi-Oh! card, grammar is important, so keep that in mind.

 

I see that your goal with these cards was a "swarm the field" strategy that can bring Synchros and Xyz, and focuses on Equip Spell Cards to do so. An interesting idea nonetheless, but there are some things that might need a little more work:

 

1. The overall synergy between your cards is kinda lack luster. Most of the cards focus on Amelia and her other forms, with a little Gelt in there, but cards like Marie and Queen Natasha seen a little out of place since they work more with each other then with other parts of the Deck; and Cedric and Freed seem like they have no purpose at all, especially Freed, who, in my opinion, is the worst monster out of all of them. The other thing when it comes to synergy is the "500 or less" boost that you made as a restriction for your cards. That restriction it kinda limits what you can do in terms of plays, card choices, and, in your case since you are the creator of these cards, card design. My suggestion is to make your cards rely on Equip Spell with a specific name, like "Divine Sword" since you already have 2 of them.

 

2. The way the strategy of the deck works kinda conflicts to what you wanted them be. Since it's a "swarm the field" strategy that wants to get to extra deck monsters, most of the time, your Equip Spells will be useless since only one of your Extra Deck monsters can get them from the GY. If a situation comes up, where you cannot access your Extra Deck monsters, your whole strategy falls apart.

 

2.5* Quick note on "Amelia, The Silver Sword"s effect: if you detach "Amelia, The Braveheart" then "Silver Sword" will not have that effect anymore, plus when it is sent to the GY, the Xyz Materials are sent as separate cards from the monster. A quick way to fix this would be: "If this card was Summoned using "Amelia, The Braveheart" as a material, this card gains this effect:"

 

3. Since you want these cards to work together, I suggest you give them a "gimmick", something that is placed among each of them; In that way, making them have synergy will be much easier. Since you want something that has to do with Equip Spell Cards, you can do something like, give them a once per turn effect of their own, but if they are equipped with a "Divine Sword" Equip Spell, that effect of theirs gets some kind of boost or bonus. With this, making them work together will be much easier.

 

4. Since you are making a lore for them, which is a really cool idea btw, you need to make your cards to stand up to the lore. For example: Gelt is said to have an unbreakable defense, so his DEF should be a little higher, like 2000 or something, and an effect that can prevent his destruction. Another example can be the Queen herself; Since she is said to be the most powerful one, she should be this deck's boss monster, the monster that you want to get as soon as possible. And "Unshaking Will", by its name, should not be a reviving card as its primary effect; It should be a trap that protects all of your monsters, and THEN have a secondary reviving effect if you desire. (Another Quick note, since Equip Traps don't exist, I suggest you change that, because things like this are for the Experimental part of the forum. You can make the card a Continuous Trap and have it to Equip upon activation, like "Call of the Haunted" for example).

 

Overall, even though your cards need a little more work, they have an interesting concept and have potential. The artwork is nice, my favorite being "Royal Funeral", and the fact that you add lore to your cards it's just amazing. I believe you can make something really good out of these cards and this concept.

 

If you wanna talk more, you can send me a message anytime and I will reply as soon as I can.

 

Keep up the good work and have fun while doing it!

 

See ya.

I believe my grammar (YGO) already good, if there is any mistake whatsoever, pls point that out to me instead of saying "fix it" but no explanation or pointing that needs to "fix".

 

1. Because its a series (not an archetype, hence the topic title). Of course i can make them archetype (Luminesia archetype) and make Amelia effect "add 1 'Luminesia' monster", but thats killing its own very idea. Because my intention here is making a semi-generic Warrior series that revolves around old Warior YGO (equip spell stuff), but still follow latest mechanic (synchro and xyz, well no link cuz im lazy to make them). So to make series works together as a whole, it needs something like sub-connection to each other, say a works with b, c works with d, and e bridge the a into c, etc etc. While archetypal cards always a-e works together no matter what. Well also because im tired of archetype lol, kinda lazy design, just putting names in effect and *poof*, it works well together (just my opinion). Freed is a free mat/spam, his GY eff works with the Divine Sword equip spell, while also follow his older form of banish effect. Its reusable monster (with Divine Sword) each turn, also calling it worst . . ., well, Amelia is a 1 card combo Synchro/Xyz with Gelt, say you open Gelt and no Amelia . . .??? Gelt dead in ur hand right? thats where Cedric and Freed fix this "hole". To make consistency of your play in case of you didnt open either Amelia, Marie or Natasha. As such, my intention is making them work with almost all the equip spell that increase ATK and/or DEF, so focusing them only on Divine Sword is no difference than Noble Knights, keyword here is semi-generic.As for the field, is a buff to either Divine Sword Phoeninx or any other equip spell that increase low attack but has cute and amusing second effect, to make them playable and usable given the field buff the atk stat.

 

2. Except its not "swarm the field" strategy? Or should i say if you have godly hand and able to swarm, im not recommending it to spam in 1 turn? Because the playstile here (this series) follow safe plays, where summoning 1 boss monster is enough play for 1 turn (Amelia Xyz if you go first, killig their hand size, Amelia Synchro if you are dealing with spam deck that gains a lot of field presence and tempo or going second, Marie Xyz to kill big dude since it can equip multitple spell from GY, also has bonus protection effect in case u want to sit and relax on something). Also yes only Marie Xyz can get equip from GY, but Gelt effect? Yes. So thats the answer. Why im not recommending "yolo" play because this deck doesnt have a good recovery as the latest deck has, but if you play safe and keep resources in check, it works well.

 

2.5. Yea thats true, my bad (original plan has additional field effect, but changed to GY effect, and i forgot to fix the text).

 

3. Like i said, i plan these series to be semi-generic, that works well with almost any equip spell that increase ATK and/or DEF. So yes, if it is an archetype, giving them gimmick is true, but its a series that i want to make them work with rando Warrior (tho not opitmal, but still works).

 

4. Reason why Gelt has 1200 DEF is, look at the stat pattern: Amelia (1000/1000 = 2000), Gelt (700/1200 = 1900, Freed's inverse stat), Cedric (1200/800 = 2000, same stat as his older form), Freed (1200/700 = 1900, follow the original Freed stat reduction, where, from his old form to the young form, follow 500 pts of decrease in ATK and DEF stat), Marie (1100/800 = 1900), and Natasha (800/1100 = 1900, Marie's inverse stat). It has 1900-2000 total stat with a minimum of 700 and max of 1200 in each ATK and or DEF. Also they are Level 3, and you rarely or even never use Gelt stat as a body anyway, as for the unbreakable, unbreakable in normal ways, not the supreme ways (example like Masaki the Legendary Swordsman, it has lore of being veteran of 400 battles, but dude, has weak stats.), and they are Level 3, i dont want to make them having stats too much or too high. As for Queen not the boss, look here, okay? Yes, lorewise she is not that strong, she only have the power of the divine, able to say . . . purify darkness in human souls, and keeping otherwordly threat in check, with divine powers, hence if she is strong, no need for the knights to protect them lol, she can protect herself. She is not a boss/strong, but has an essential role in the series, like Gwenhwyfar.

 

Update*

> Added the missing cards (Knight's Capture and Queen's Sacrifice)

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ok, sorry about saying that grammar stuff and not pointing anything out. There are not that big, but still there and here are some examples:

Most of the time when you refer to an Equip Spell, you forget to put the "an" before it, like Amelia's that says:"If Equip Spell Card is equipped to this card:" and it should be "If an Equip Spell Card...", also on the same card another example can be found on the effect that Amelia gives the monster that is summoned with her; While the card says "If it is Summoned:..." it should be: "If this card is Summoned:..." since you are giving the effect to that monster. Another is when you refer to a monster type; when you do that you say the name of the type, then "-Type". All of your cards say just "Warrior", which can make some people confused because it can be understood as a card with "Warrior" in its name. So you should make your cards say "Warrior-Type" instead of just "Warrior". "Knight's Capture" needs a little help with the wording as well, since it's first sentence doesn't make any sense. I know that you wanted that card to activate from your hand during your opponent's turn, but you need to specify this in the text. Just add "During your opponent's turn" before the main line and you will be fine. To wrap up all there is to the grammar, I will take a card and fix the grammar for you to set an example, and that card shall be "Queen's sacrifice".

 

Original text:"Target 1 "Queen Natasha, the Shinning" you control or from your GY, then declare 1 card name: banish the target face-down, and if you do, your opponent banish 1 card with the declared name face-down from their hand, field, GY, Deck or Extra Deck (you choose). If you have 5 Warrior monster with a different names from your GY, you can banish all cards with the same name as the declared card from your opponent's hand, field, GY, Deck or Extra Deck."

 

Corrected text:"Target 1 "Queen Natasha, the Shinning" your control or in your GY, then declare 1 card name; Banish the target face-down, and if you do, your opponent banishes 1 card of the declared name, if there is any, face-down from their hand, field, GY, Deck or Extra Deck (your choice). If you have 5 Warrior-Type monsters with different names in your GY, your opponent banishes all cards of the declared name form their hand, field, GY, Deck and Extra Deck instead."

 

I still get an archetypal vibe from some of the cards, because of their added effects with Amelia's form and Gelt, but since you said you want these cards to be semi-generic and have a "b works with c, a works with d" type of synergy, I understand that and respect that as a card creator. These are your cards after all and you can do whatever you want with them. I hope none of my comments gave you a wrong impression in any way; All of us have different ideas and ways to think about cards and I might have not understood your concept that much, but now I feel like I understand it a little more and it's interesting nonetheless. I really like your cards and I might review more of yours in the future if you post new concepts. Plus, again, the fact that you add lore to your cards is something really awesome and unique and I hope you never get tired of doing it. :))

 

That's all I wanted to say for now. Keep up the good work man.

 

See ya.

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what u said

1. Yeah just realized that its missing "an" . . .

2. The reason i use "if it is Summoned:" is this source

3. Latest card text (VRAINS era) konami remove the monster type and stick to the its type without "-Type", check this source (it doesnt say Cyberse-Type monster, only Cyberse monster, "-Type" is outdated)

4. Imo i dont need to specify in the text (quick activation from hand), it works like trap that can be activated from hand, just here is quick-play spell, the difference is you dont need to set it to activate on your opponent's turn if you control said monsters on the field. Because its already clear the way it is.

5. The word "banish" is mistypo, yea the correct one should be "Banish" due to after ":". Also ive never heard of a card text that use "banishes" word, so i still stick to the original. Again, "-Type" is outdated text. The last text u did to fix Queen's Sacrifice makes it work differently. My text has "you can", means it is optional whether you want to banish all cards or only 1, while yours, without "you can" and use "instead" makes the card force you to activate 2nd part of the effect given you fulfill the requirement, instead of fixing, you changed it into different things. I mean, overall what you pointed out is not a miswording/major text issue . . . . so thats it.

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well, that was my mistake. I didn't realize that they took out the "-Type" so sorry for that.

There are cards that use the word "banishes", examples are Necro Face and Number 95.

On the rest, I understand and again, those are your cards, you make them however you want.

 

Well I think that's all there is to it. There are no more things I have to say apart from I hope you have a good day.

 

I'll see you around man.

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