If you became a parent, what is one thing you would change about how your parents raised you?

[Simping For Hina]

Read the motherfucking title you motherfucking children.

[Tormented]

Actually raise my kids.

[Dokutah]

More patient, not enforcing to much ideals, actually listen to my kids

[Sunshine Jesse]

Lower expectations and less pressure to succeed. My parents' high expectations did far more harm than good.

 

That's and a few personal things I'd rather not get in to.

[ShimoHkun1]

Actually invest time in raising my kids as opposed to just living with them and existing, and spending the time to teach them life and show them it instead of having them go out blind.

[~~~~]

I would impart baby me with a specific piece of crucial knowledge that I have not yet learned.

[Simping For Hina]

I would impart baby me with a specific piece of crucial knowledge that I have not yet learned.

I think you have the wrong premise of this thread.

[Ryusei the Morning Star]

Not hire a nanny and visit once a year

[vla1ne]

not take the money they worked to earn before they even know they got it.

[Ryusei the Morning Star]

YCM is not a happy place

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

Well I'm not an alcoholic so I've got that going for me.

Overall I'd probably try and be in their lives more. That isn't entirely fair to say, especially as I'm living with my mom (albeit partially because she's a sick old lady and needs help) but they both, for different reasons, were...absent most of the time.

I'd also be more careful if I remarry what kind of person I let around my kids. That's a big one.

[Mr. Best Male 2008]

I wouldn't guilt them into following what I think is "best" for them. Made me waste a lot of years doing what they wanted education wise, but can't blame them too much for making sure I had the best education they could get for me.

[Fusion X. Denver]

I'm honestly hard-pressed about thinking of something. I have great parents and they've really stuck their necks out and been there for me and my sister every step of the way.

Maybe I'd take better care of myself to save myself and my family some grief. My dad is a heavy drinker and has on-off bouts with smoking, he's been exercising in recent years and been in better shape, but there's been a myriad of health issues over the years.

[Tentacruel]

I'm probably going to force my kids to pick some kind of activity or sport to be active and get out and make friends, especially if I do end up homeschooling like my parents did.

 

It's weird to think I'd be more strict, not less.

[~ P O L A R I S ~]

You don't have the ability to change how you were raised when you become a parent. 

 

I wouldn't become a parent.

[Flash Flyer - Sakura]

Let's see:

 

1. Don't show favoritism towards one kid if I end up getting siblings. 

 

My parents both grew up having siblings (and a few still give them hell now), whereas I'm the only child. This is probably extending into how my grandparents raised my parents, but yeah. 

 

2. Try to have them interact with their relatives.

 

My relationship with own relatives ranges from sparse to nonexistent, and it has nothing to do with my parents or myself directly. Most of it involves one of my maternal aunts butting into everyone's business and acting like she's the boss (she was born here, but lived on mainland for the last couple decades). Paternally, I only have my uncle/godfather (dad's brother), but my parents severed ties with him after he cursed out my dad [and by extension, mom/self] over the phone in late grade school over handling grandmother's late affairs.

 

Cousins I'm technically on good relationship with live on mainland and I've only seen them twice in my life; once in 2001 when I visited them in Delaware at the time, and 2014 when they came down. Ones who live here either are the type that I want to avoid (high school dropout with 4 kids and deadbeat boyfriend), in their own world / are quirky (ones around my age) or I have only met them once at their grad parties. 

 

====

 

So yeah, have them get a bigger social network than I have right now, because right now, my parents didn't really help. Again though, it's nothing to do with me and just a bad apple in my relatives who did something. 

 

3. Don't hit my kids if they do something wrong.

 

I wouldn't say that grade school me was free of problems because they weren't, and I get occasional flashbacks about how I was back then. Was mostly my dad being overly authoritarian at the time (whether or not some of the things he did at the time would be classed as child abuse remains to be seen; though likely due to anger problems and crap from the above).

 

It mellowed out after intermediate school though, but then I didn't get into any trouble from thereon out. 

 

4. Be understanding to difficulties they have in school.

 

Depending on what they choose to go into, the subject matter may be difficult and I can't get upset at them for not getting through stuff that even I don't know. This is mostly issue with my mom, who thinks she knows everything about my course work. (News flash, she doesn't)

 

My dad is aware of the nature of my courses, but mostly because some of his cousins [who I've never met] are/were in the industry and worked with a bunch of them at the utility company.

 

====

Other than that, I can't really think of other stuff, except maybe not losing my temper with wife or something. 

 

For the most part, parents didn't force religious ideologies on me and generally let me do what I want to within limits without pushing too hard. Neither of them smoke or drink.

[The Nyx Avatar]

Patience.

 

My father doesn't really have patience. If I ask him the same question a second time or ask him to repeat what he said, he'll raise his voice. Or just not answer me and make a hand gesture to tell me "Forget it". I'd been told I was patient. Whether it be with another person, or when I work on my things. My father says he rushes at times, but I just continue at my own pace.

 

In any case, I would be more patient with my child. I'm not going to immediately get upset over minor stuff, like if they drop something or don't eat their food.

[Death Metal]

More discipline probably. 

[Simping For Hina]

More discipline probably. 

How so? What kind of discipline did you receive (or didn't) that you would give your children?

[Death Metal]

How so? What kind of discipline did you receive (or didn't) that you would give your children?

 

Just a clear lack of structure if I had to guess a bit. In my mind I turned out fine but I can see ways that I might do things better for a child, not that it's ever really that easy. 

 

Honestly I would probably challenge them a bit more mentally to think about things differently as well. 

[bury the year]

Don't praise a kid saying they're smart. Say they're hardworking, or diligent, or creative, or perseverant. But not smart.

 

Because that leads the kid to believe that they can get through life just by "being smart," so they don't try that hard. And when they finally hit the point when they can't just coast by and are confronted with things above their paygrade, sheet goes south.

 

Source: firsthand experience.