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Post and I will say how I think you could best improve


(GigaDrillBreaker)

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Sure. inb4stopbeingannoying

You have a poor habit of trying to make things about yourself. I don't think it is on purpose, and I genuinely believe you have an interest in becoming a better person, but you've got a long way to go.

 

When people said you needed to loosen up, you started making jokes. When people didn't think they were funny, you blamed them for it. Nobody is in any way obligated to like you, think you are funny, respect you, etc, no matter who you are or what you may have accomplished. It's a difficult truth to swallow, but an important one to grow as a person.

Im already working to get better. Please tell me more.

I think you could do to be more careful. That's pretty ridiculous, coming from me, but oh well. I know that you have good intentions, and I know that you are quick to apologise when you realize you caused anyone a genuine problem. I think you just need to be a bit more mindful of your actions.

Go.

I think you could use more conviction. You have strong opinions, and often the skills to properly express them, but you seem to lack the willingness to push to make them happen. Not really fear, as much as second guessing yourself far more often than you need to.

Considering I don't actually know if you have a problem with me (considering you gave me no opinion last time) yes? I assume you must have.

ngl I'm doing an essay on it tonight. I hate to make you wait, but I have a strict policy against spoilers.

Might as well. Could always use advice.

You are an incredibly talented person, from what I've seen recently, particularly your vector art. The image of you is actually fantastic. I haven't talked to you much recently, but from what u remember your confidence often wavers. I think you would do well to internalize your accomplishments.
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You have a poor habit of trying to make things about yourself. I don't think it is on purpose, and I genuinely believe you have an interest in becoming a better person, but you've got a long way to go.

 

When people said you needed to loosen up, you started making jokes. When people didn't think they were funny, you blamed them for it. Nobody is in any way obligated to like you, think you are funny, respect you, etc, no matter who you are or what you may have accomplished. It's a difficult truth to swallow, but an important one to grow as a person.

 

I've been thinking how to best respond to this, so here I go.

 

For your first point about me trying to make things about myself, that somewhat is on purpose, but not for the reasons you may thing from that realization. I do it because it helps me show empathy to others if they know I've been in a similar situation to them. I also do it because if I say that I've been in something similar, I'm trying to bring experiences credentials that other people may not know that I have. It may look like I'm trying to make things about myself, but I'm trying to connect with others using the life experiences that I think are most suitable for a particular situation. It allows me to understand what's going on through a familiar lens, if that makes any sense.

 

For your second point, I don't think people realize just how much I try to avoid the feeling that I'm nothing to this community that I care about. I believe a previous status of mine best helps get this point across, so here it is in the spoiler.

 

[spoiler=Past Status]

I know no one will care, but allow me to speak truthfully and get something off my chest. It's hard to try to be a part of a community when the general consensus seems to be "I don't care whether you are here or not". While one of the reasons why I left YCM last year was because of school, another reason was because I was getting sick of that reality, and it wasn't doing any good for my mental well-being. And while some of you have the luxury of talking about your issues on here with others, I don't feel like I have that luxury as I've lost friends by doing that. It's like no matter what I do, sheet always seems to hit the fan one way or another. And before you ask "why don't you just leave", I care about this community even though I don't get that in return. I may not show that I care that much these days, but I do. It's just getting harder to care when I feel alone tbh.

 

 

 

Feeling that I'm nothing to this community in spite all I've done is not a feeling I particularly want to deal with. It's part of the reason I left YCM for a year. The feeling that no matter what I do, I can't get anywhere in this community that I love is a dangerous one, and I hope you sympathize with me a bit on that.

 

If there is anything you need me to elaborate on, let me know and I'll do the best I can.

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