On the Edge of the Void -- "Soulshorn" Archetype (17/17)

[NobodySovereign]

THE LORE

 

[spoiler=Lore]On the edges of existence, there are said to be monsters who have no soul-- animated only by their burning hatred, they act with a malice and ferocity unheard of. Those who have been to the outskirts of this no man's land say that they can feel a darkness looming over them, trying to transform them into one of these monsters-- the Soulshorn. Few return from the precipice of the soulless void, and fewer still come back unscathed, rendered victims of the Soulshorn.

 

 

THE CONCEPT

 

[spoiler=Concept]Soulshorn monsters work on the mechanic of Banishment-- though, interestingly, most Main Deck monsters have an effect preventing them from being banished while on the field, an effect meant to represent their lack of a soul (the exception here being their Victim). The body may become broken, but with no soul to target, a banishment is impossible... at least while they still "live".

 

Enter, if you dare, the Shadowaste; this Field Spell Card prevents other Field Spells from being activated whilst on the field and forces you to target monsters for banishment, all to fuel the Soulshorn and their fell master. Keep yourself abreast of a Soulshorn monster, though, and you should be fine... assuming you can stand their presence for long enough. You can also always simply sacrifice a Victim of the Soulshorn, though at that point, are you so different from the soulless creatures yourself?

 

That is to say nothing of the Soulshorn Xyz monsters, who all have the effect of being able to banish themselves in order to Special Summon a Main Deck monster once they've run out of materials. Soulshorn Titan acts as a juggernaut, consuming as many materials as you'll feed it and banishing its fallen foes; Carcosa, the Soulshorn Crusader can keep marching on in the face of adversity so long as he has materials; and Voormithadreth, the Soulshorn Weaver builds up an army of the forsaken with its material.

 

Then, there is Null, Lord of the Soulless Void. Although not a member of the Soulshorn properly, he is their Master, and as such, he has certain effects that benefit them and benefit from them. He can be Xyz Summoned using an existing Soulshorn Xyz Monster, and he can detach a material to Special Summon a "Soulshorn" monster from the Banished Zone or the Graveyard, and when he has spent all his materials, he can simply unsummon himself, returning to the Soulless Void.

 

With the Gift of the Void Lord-- a soul of their own-- the Soulshorn gain a bit of extra power, and when they would fall in battle, the soul is what is taken instead. Indeed, you'll often see Soul-Spewing Fountains across the Shadowaste, constantly consuming the bodies of the dead and belching out souls, sometimes even erupting as they birth a new Soulshorn. When The Soul-Eaters Come, their voracious, hellacious appetite consumes monsters from both sides of the field... but only so long as they have a soul to eat. Of course, if you're foolhardy or evil enough to seek these fetid creatures, you might wish to open the Gateway to Oblivion, a doorway to the Soulless Void which can produce a Soulshorn monster for you.

 

 

MAIN DECK MONSTERS

 

[spoiler=Main Deck]

Soulshorn Waykeeper

DARK/Fiend/Effect/Level 4/200 ATK/1500 DEF

While this card is face-up on the field, this card cannot be banished. You can banish a monster from either Graveyard, then Special Summon a "Soulshorn" monster from your hand. While this card is in the GY: You can banish a monster from your GY, then Special Summon this card in face-up Attack Position. You can only use each effect of "Soulshorn Waykeeper" once per turn.

 

Soulshorn Deathchanter

DARK/Fiend/Effect/Level 4/1400 ATK/300 DEF

While this card is face-up on the field, this card cannot be banished. Once per turn, while you control no other monsters: You can Special Summon 1 monster from your hand with an ATK lower than this card's, also that card is banished during your End Phase.

 

Soulshorn Headsman

DARK/Fiend/Effect/Level 4/1700 ATK/0 DEF

While this card is face-up on the field, this card cannot be banished. When this card is Special Summoned: Banish 1 Attack Position monster your opponent controls. You can tribute this face up card you control; add 1 "Soulshorn" monster from your Deck to your hand. You can only use each effect of "Soulshorn Headsman" once per turn.

 

Soulshorn Darkterror

DARK/Fiend/Effect/Level 4/1400 ATK/700 DEF

While this card is face-up on the field, this card cannot be banished. When this card is Special Summoned: Target 1 monster you control (except this card) and 1 monster your opponent controls; banish them if able, then add 1 "Soulshorn" monster from your Deck to your hand. Once per turn (Quick Effect): Target 1 monster your opponent controls; it loses 500 ATK and DEF until the End Phase of this turn, also this card gains 500 ATK and DEF until the End Phase of this turn.

 

Soulshorn Deathknight

DARK/Fiend/Effect/Level 4/1900 ATK/500 DEF

While this card is face-up on the field, this card cannot be banished. Once per turn, while you control one other monster: Target 1 monster your opponent controls and 1 monster you control (except this card) and banish them if able, and if you do, this card gains 800 ATK for each monster that was banished until the End Phase of your next turn.

 

Shoulshorn Harpy

DARK/Fiend/Effect/Level 4/1500 ATK/900 DEF

While this card is face-up on the field, this card cannot be banished. When this card is Normal Summoned or Flip Summoned: Special Summon 1 "Soulshorn" monster with an ATK less than or equal to this card's ATK (except "Soulshorn Harpy") from your Deck. You can only use this effect of "Soulshorn Harpy" once per turn.

 

Soul-Devouring Dragon

DARK/Fiend/Effect/Level 9/3000 ATK/2500 DEF

This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by banishing a total of 3 "Soulshorn" monsters from your hand and/or GY, and cannot be Special Summoned by other ways. Once per turn: You can pay 2000 LP; banish all other monsters on the field.

 

Victim of the Soulshorn

EARTH/Psychic/Tuner/Effect/Level 1/100 ATK/200 DEF

When a monster is Special Summoned: You can Special Summon this card from your hand. When this card on your side of the field is banished: Draw 1 card. While this card is in your GY: You can banish this card; add 1 "Soulshorn" monster from your Deck to your hand. You can only use each effect of "Victim of the Soulshorn" once per turn.

 

 

EXTRA DECK

 

[spoiler=Extra Deck]

Voormithadreth, the Soulshorn Weaver

DARK/Fiend/Xyz/Effect/Rank 4/2550 ATK/1300 DEF

2 Level 4 "Soulshorn" monsters

Once per turn, during your Main Phase 1: You can detach 1 Xyz Material, then Special Summon 1 "Soulshorn" monster from your hand, also, it cannot attack this turn. While this card has no Xyz Materials attached to it: You can banish this card, then Special Summon 1 "Soulshorn" monster from your Deck.

 

Carcosa, the Soulshorn Crusader

DARK/Fiend/Xyz/Effect/Rank 4/2600 ATK/1200 DEF

2 Level 4 "Soulshorn" monsters

Once per turn, when this card would leave the field: You can detach 1 Xyz Material instead. While this card has no Xyz Materials attached to it: You can banish this card, then Special Summon 1 "Soulshorn" monster from your Deck.

 

Soulshorn Titan

DARK/Fiend/Xyz/Effect/Rank 4/1500 ATK/1500 DEF

2 or more Level 4 "Soulshorn" monsters (max. 5)

For each Xyz Material attached to this card, this card gains 500 ATK and DEF. When this card destroys a monster by battle: You can detach 1 Xyz Material; banish that destroyed monster. While this card has no Xyz Materials attached to it: You can banish this card, then Special Summon 1 "Soulshorn" monster from your Deck.

 

Null, Lord of the Soulless Void

DARK/Fiend/Xyz/Effect/Rank 5/2800 ATK/0 DEF

3 Level 5 DARK Fiend-Type Monsters

You can also Xyz Summon this card by using 1 Xyz monster you control with "Soulshorn" in its name as the Xyz Material. (Xyz Materials attached to that monster also become Xyz Materials on this card.) Once per turn : You can detach 1 Xyz Material; Special Summon 1 "Soulshorn" monster from your GY or Banished Zone. While this card has no Xyz Materials attached: You can return this card to your Extra Deck (this is a Quick Effect).

 

 

 

 

SPELLS AND TRAPS

 

[spoiler=Spells/Traps]

 

Shadowaste, the Edge of the Void

Field Spell Card

Field Spell Cards cannot be activated. Once per turn, this card cannot be destroyed. During each of your Standby Phases: Target 1 of your monsters and banish it if able, also, "Soulshorn" monsters you control gain 300 ATK and DEF. When this card would be destroyed, shuffle it into your Deck instead.

 

A Gift From the Void Lord

Equip Spell Card

Can only be equipped to a "Soulshorn" monster. The monster equipped with this card gains 500 ATK and DEF. If the monster equipped with this card would destroyed by battle, banish this card instead.

 

Gateway to Oblivion

Quick-Play Spell Card

While you control no monsters: Special Summon 1 "Soulshorn" monster (from your hand). While this card is in your Graveyard, except during the turn it was sent there: You can banish this card and a "Soulshorn" monster in your Graveyard, and if you do, add 1 "Soulshorn" monster from your Deck to your hand.

 

The Soul-Eaters Come

Normal Trap Card

Target 2 monsters you control and up to 2 monster(s) your opponent controls: banish them, if able. While this card is in your GY: You may attach this card to a DARK Fiend Xyz Monster you control as an Xyz Material. You may only use each effect of "The Soul-Eaters Come" once per turn.

 

Soul-Spewing Fountains

Continuous Trap Card

During each of your Standby Phases: You can banish a card from your GY, then add 1 "Soulshorn" monster from your Deck to your hand. During each of your End Phases: You can banish this card; Special Summon 1 "Soulshorn" monster from your hand.

 

 

As always, constructive criticism and comments are not only welcome but wanted and encouraged. If you don't feel like writing a short essay about these, feel free to send me a message with your more condensed thoughts. I would love to have these graded on both VRAINS and ARC-V formats, just because I'm curious if they'd have any chance in the new format.

 

 

Thank you all so much! :D

[Dova]

Sadly, your main deck monsters aren't anything amazing, in fact, they're rather weak. Your only searcher, Deathchanteress, relies on destruction, a theme not within the archetype (so you're going to have to be relying on your opponent to trigger it, making it unreliable and slow) but you do have a semi-decent means of getting out your monsters in the form of Waykeeper. A card like that would be good if the rest of the archetype was up to scratch, but right now it's the best of a bad job. Soul-Devouring Dragon got me a little interested, as it finally took advantage of the "This face-up card cannot be banished." effect seen on the rest of the monsters, and did something interesting with it. In fact, it got my hopes up that you were going to use it in other card effects...which you sadly didn't, just having a wide array of banishing effects from other locations. I think your "cannot be banished" theme is a good idea, but it should serve a purpose other than just lore; have powerful archetypal cards or effects force you to banish a monster you control after they resolve, or have your removal banish monsters you controls as well as your opponent (be sure to include "...(if able)" in your card effects if you do this, otherwise you won't even be able to activate them :V)

 

I must say, though, that your Xyz Monsters have much more potential than what you have with the monsters. Their interesting banish effect gives them a really powerful use when you're otherwise done with them. I will say, however, that their effects are, still, a little weak. However, if you buff the MD monsters and your Spells/Traps, they will probably be fine. It's not like this archetype can muster anything more than a single Xyz each turn at a stretch, so there's not much difference between Arc-V and VRAINS format here.

 

Shadowaste...weow. It practically renders Void Lord useless, as it overshadows both of its effects almost completely. Not to mention the former is searchable by terraforming. To be honest, you'll just be running it for its ATK boost, as...really, that's all the support it does. You have banishing on both of these cards, but...you don't do anything with it. What's so important that I need cards or effects to break the theme of my monsters, and merely send them to a different location when they're destroyed? It makes sense with the lore, but ideally you want to mesh your lore and mechanics so that your set is both interesting and functional. You have SSing from the the hand on one of your Xyzs, Waykeeper, and Gateway, but with basically no searching these cards will be dead half the time. Your cards simply aren't fast enough to compete with the YGO of today. However, you still will be running Gateway as you need what little searching it provides, no matter how slow it is. Foolish Burial of Belongings, anyone? Fountains is a little faster in that department, so will always make a better target, but to compensate for this it has an absolutely horrible first effect. Not only does it take forever with this Deck to actually get 5 cards banished (compared to Infernoids, Shiranui, Metaphys, Twilightsworn and most self-mill Decks, which can get 10 easily in the first turn.), but why would I want to shuffle the cards? At the absolute late game, I get some recycling in case my Deck runs out, but the card doesn't give me any immediately plus and in fact hurts me in one way by thickening my Deck. Soul-Eaters Come...works, I guess? Not really much else to say for a generic Counter.

 

Look, the mechanic got me interested, but it was very clear after the first few monsters that the power level you had in mind wasn't going to be enough. You need some buffing, not to mention actually making the effects mesh a little better in terms of mechanics. The lore is...sadly not too unique, but the main effect of the MD monsters and the Xyzs almost redeems it. You just have no further pay-off :( I am very keen to look at these again if you do an overhaul, and grant them the speed they need to be playable.

 

---

OCG Time!!!

 

As you have a good grasp of the basic mechanics of card grammar, here are some further corrections to improve your craft!

 

"During either player's turn" has been replaced by "(Quick Effect)"

"Once per turn (Quick Effect): You can..."

"During the Main Phase (Quick Effect): Target..."

"(Quick Effect): You can... ... You can only use this effect of "Examplosaurus" once per turn."

 

Cards or effects that apply when something "would" be destroyed, or something similar, don't activate, as they can apply while another effect is resolving (e.g. I activate an effect, you chain Raigeki Break and target my Shadowaste. Chain resolves backwards, Raigeki Break would destroy Shadowaste, but Shadowaste has a protection effect. Considering we're still in the middle of the chain, and I still have my first effect to resolve, you can't activate another effect mid-chain, so it just applies, akin to Armades)

You might be wondering what this has to do with your grammar, and true, it is a small point in terms of the changes, but the implications are immense. All you have to do is change any colons/semicolons in an effect to commas. This means the effect doesn't activate (i.e. start a chain), and it merely applies, meaning you can't chain, let's say, The Soul-Eaters Come.

 

Lastly (for now >:3) Harpy is a little unspecific in its removal effect. Remember to specify where it is banishing from, in this case "Spell/Trap Cards on the field". On rereading it, I'm not a fan of its non-targeting removal; make it target! Please the Dova!

 

---

Anywho, best of luck when reworking these (if you do take my advice). I'll be watching to post my second review :P

[Dova]

Would suggest that you posted in the thread when you've updated the cards, so that others can see you're responding to criticism instead of just ignoring it :3 Hey, I'm not the only person who reviews cards here!

 

Well, you certainly have buffed these cards. Often when I suggest this I see cards powered up enormously, even too much, but you seem to have done in a much fairer way. Still, I do have comments :P

 

Your first 3 monsters are pretty decent. A little concerned by the lack of OPT or HOPT on Waykeeper's first effect, but you could probably just get away with simple OPT, as it needs you to have a hand to be viable. Deathchanteress is still a little weak, as your own monsters can't and aren't being banished, but I see the potential with you banishing your opponent's cards. Depends how much banishing you have in total, really. Headsman is pretty neat, as you can use both effects if it is SSd, but it is still usable if you have to NS it. Darkterror is better, but still a little meh. I guess it fuels Deathchantress, but a meh card fueling another meh card doesn't make them both good. I would suggest another, simple effect, to also make up for its low stats. Perhaps a banish from hand -> draw effect? Deathkinght's high stats make it a perhaps one-of, but, particularly in VRAINS format,you don't really have that many Defense Position monsters, at least no bosses or stuff you actually want to get rid of. And besides, the ATK boost is too slow to do very much. Perhaps some more swarming. Harpy is good, but it doesn't mention where it SSs from; from the Deck is fine. Also, a little sad you haven't gone anywhere with their main point of "cannot be banished", save for The Shadow-Eaters Come. Like, with the exception of the Dragon, they would almost play exactly the same without it.

 

Don't really see the changes in Shadowaste. What is the point of it banishing, other than flavour? Also, the last effect needs a comma too :P A Gift is still bad, with the similarly pointless second effect (if it's because some cards interact with the banished zone, you simply don't have enough of them to warrant this :( )  Gateway is still fine, but weow...Soul-Eaters. Really like the new version, as it provides much more powerful removal than you otherwise have within the Deck. Only concern is the lack of HOPT on the second effect, as as its a Trap, you can use it with Crusader to create an invincible wall. Is Fountain meant to be continuous? If so, it works. You have simple hand-play, but even though the archetype is a lot more functional now...it's still lacking in flavour. The creative effects are weak and don't do much for the archetype, and the supportive ones are rather generic. I mean, you could stop now and end up with a Tier 3 or 4 archetype, but I would suggest to keep working on them to make much more interesting and fun cards to use :)

[NobodySovereign]

Your point is well received. I'll make sure to reply in here when I update.

 

- OPT added to Waykeeper.

 

- Deathchanter overhauled; now SS's from hand at the cost of the monster being banished during the End Phase (not really a huge issue for these guys).

 

- Darkterror overhaul; now on SS can banish a monster from each side in order to add a Soulshorn to hand. OPT QE debuff/self-buff.

 

- Deathknight buff; now targets a monster on each side and banishes for 800 ATK per banish (usually only going to get 800 ATK but on occasion will get the full 1600) until your next EP.

 

- Harpy now specifically SS's from Deck.

 

- Added Victim to play off the archetype's banish play and to open up Level 5/9 Synchros.

 

- Shadowaste rework; now forces a target and banish during each SBP, and increases ATK by a small amount, allowing a slow but steady increase in the power of your monsters.

 

- Gift from the Void Lord rework; now banishes itself to protect equipped monster instead of banishing the monster (Dunno why I thought that was a good idea, lol).

 

- Soul-Eaters now has a OPT clause on its effects.

[Dova]

Like the changes, particularly your original ones. One final note: You should probably say where Victim SSs itself from :P

[NobodySovereign]

Done! So, what's my final grade?

[Dova]

I'd say this archetype is currently a Tier 2 archetype. Not bad or slow, just without that extra punch/disrespect to make it into the meta. Of course, I don't have any more suggestions to make in that area, as I don't like the speed or strength...or needs of the current meta, and am happy when an archetype is Tier 2. I would suggest, however, that you make a Link monster. I understand it can be hard, as you still use the cardmaker, but as this archetype has sped up, it needs to be able to handle more than one Xyz Monster, and we don't have a DARK themed Link yet; anyway, you could probably have more fun with one you made, for instance.

 

I don't grade cards with a number rating any more, as I feel there's so much to judge in each one that varies from cardmaker to cardmaker that a simple number cannot represent. Regardless, I rather like where you've taken this, and am looking forward to your next project!