(Cool new monster) Raijin, the Gaia Titan of Lightning

[Bloodfrost]

[Bloodfrost]

Level 8 Ritual Effect monster

DARK Thunder-type

0 ATK / 0 DEF

Unaffected by other card effects. If this card is in your hand: you can reveal 1 Ritual Spell in your hand; that card can also Ritual Summon this card. When this card is destroyed by battle or card effect: you can Special Summon this card to your opponent's side of the field but it cannot change battle position. If this card is destroyed, unless it is controlled by its owner: this card's controller banishes as many cards as possible in their hand (max.5).

[SkaterTheDJWolf]

I see what your plan is: Get this on your opponent's field in Attack Position and attack it with a 3000+ ATK beatstick for game. I see where you're going, but it's not very useful, frankly, because I'm not going to waste a Ritual Spell and the required ingredients to Summon it, only to have to run it into something else (because it can't be affected i.e. destroyed, by other card effects), taking a massive hit, just to get it to my opponent' side of the field. The chances of your opponent controlling a monster with low enough ATK in attack position are too low in today's meta, and the Summoning requirements are just not worth it. Maybe you could lower its Level to make it easier to Summon (or just not make it a Ritual, or change the Summon con, or anything really) and give it a cool effect that harms your opponent when it is destroyed (you can use "If this card is destroyed, unless it is controlled by its owner:" to dodge the harmful effect yourself). 

 

It's okay, no one is very good at this when they're new. I can tell you that I'm still not good at it. And before you ask, reviewing and spotting flaws in others' work is easier than spotting flaws in your own work. I learned that the hard way.

[Bloodfrost]

About the summoning condition, I had Black Illusion Ritual in mind. You know tribute any monster in your hand or on your side of the field to Summon it. Other than that you're right, it does need an effect to help you more. How about banishing the top maybe 5 cards of the opponent's deck.

 

Sorry for the name difference but he is Gaia Titan of Lightning not Flames

[Flash Flyer - Sakura]

Considering you're still relatively new to YCM, yeah, this card isn't TOO bad. But like Skater already mentioned, there's not too much reason to actually summon this thing or change a specific Ritual Spell in order to summon THIS. Would work better with its own card; then you can search it via Pre-Preparations and stuff (also give it some other nice effects [talking about its own Ritual Spell].

 

Right now, you have to use Manju or the other new stuff for it. 

 

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Granted, forcing this onto the opponent's field for mass damage isn't bad and hitting their hand entirely is cool however you still gotta suicide this card and hope you don't get killed afterwards or blow it up yourself; THEN hope your opponent does not use this to Tribute / Fusion / Synchro / Xyz / Link Summon something. If the opponent gets rid of it by any means besides destruction, this card's purpose is null.

 

Hitting the hand is good enough; Deck kinda hurts, but stuff like Metaphys don't care too much because they trigger from it (and not like people Turbo out Desires anyway).

[Bloodfrost]

Yeah, it was supposed to not be able to be used as material for a synchro or link summon (cause no one's gonna fusion it or run rank 8s in link format but you could rank 8 it if you get it back to put it to use. How about it is only unaffected by the card's owner's opponent's card effects? You know so you can self-bounce it back or raigeki it back to your field for a rank 8.

[Horu]

You could up the level to 12 and make it impossible to synchro.

[Tinkerer]

Yeah, it was supposed to not be able to be used as material for a synchro or link summon (cause no one's gonna fusion it or run rank 8s in link format but you could rank 8 it if you get it back to put it to use. How about it is only unaffected by the card's owner's opponent's card effects? You know so you can self-bounce it back or raigeki it back to your field for a rank 8.

 

It's actually really funny you say that.  The way it is worded, you'd never get the card back unless you revived it.  If you ended up destroying it, it would be in your GY and then you'd SS it to your opponent's side of the field all over again.  In terms of Decks that can put up enough damage to just barely OTK, this would be decent for them as you'd constantly be giving your opponent a 0 ATK monster to ram into (essentially making all your attacks direct attacks).

 

I would put the restriction on not letting it be used for Synchro/Link material and maybe just leave it as being unaffected by its controller's activated card effects (activated is important to put, otherwise it would go into an infinite loop with the card "Remove Brainwashing").  I do think the level is a bit too high for an unsearchable monster whose purpose is to clog up the opponent's zones, but it works since, well... the hand banish thing is really overkill.  Maybe just limit it down to 1 discard since it is possible to easily trigger it multiple times a turn anyway?

 

I really like cards like this XD.  A mechanic based on who controls the card hasn't been explored all too often, and this is a Ritual which is awesome all by itself.

[Bloodfrost]

Funny, I was just gonna make it a level 1. By the way do counters remain on card when they are sent to the GY

[Tinkerer]

Funny, I was just gonna make it a level 1. By the way do counters remain on card when they are sent to the GY

 

Nope, they just disappear.

[Bloodfrost]

It's actually really funny you say that.  The way it is worded, you'd never get the card back unless you revived it.  If you ended up destroying it, it would be in your GY and then you'd SS it to your opponent's side of the field all over again.  In terms of Decks that can put up enough damage to just barely OTK, this would be decent for them as you'd constantly be giving your opponent a 0 ATK monster to ram into (essentially making all your attacks direct attacks).

 

I would put the restriction on not letting it be used for Synchro/Link material and maybe just leave it as being unaffected by its controller's activated card effects (activated is important to put, otherwise it would go into an infinite loop with the card "Remove Brainwashing").  I do think the level is a bit too high for an unsearchable monster whose purpose is to clog up the opponent's zones, but it works since, well... the hand banish thing is really overkill.  Maybe just limit it down to 1 discard since it is possible to easily trigger it multiple times a turn anyway?

 

I really like cards like this XD.  A mechanic based on who controls the card hasn't been explored all too often, and this is a Ritual which is awesome all by itself.

Funny I was just gonna make it a level 1. Thanks for the feedback! Also do counters stay on cards when sent to the GY?

Sorry I posted twice due to not being able to quote on my laptop. I can on my tablet tho.

[Sleepy]

Hmmm it can steal away any Ritual Spell's method to bring it out, and that's actually a huge boost. You could go Nekroz Kaleidoscope and use a Tribute from the Extra Deck for minimized cost.

 

Then it is actually hurt in a few ways by the "unaffected" clause, since you are both decreasing that ways to counter it, and closing down the potential for something like a Creature Swap or Mystic Box combo. It's a give & take scenario I suppose...

 

Then there's the hand-killing effect. It is deceptively balanced, being that you have to suicide it into something before you kill it yourself from the opponent's end, and by the time you can battle with it like that, it means you already gave your opponent a turn to setup board. There can be scenarios where this can be the killing blow to their ability to comeback, but that's not something this card can achieve on its own.

 

It is I think pretty clever.