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[Fanfiction] Yu-Gi-Oh! Fast Forward Friends


Astro Dude

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Before I get started, I would like to introduce a concept:

 

What if characters from past Yu-Gi-Oh! Generations come together under one roof... 1,000 years in the future.

 

Characters from all the generations living under the roof of a young girl, with so many adventures, character growths, and card combos never thought possible.

 

[spoiler: Chapter 1 Synopsis]

While watching tv, Joey presses the button remote and all of a sudden, Yugi and his grandpa are transported to a futuristic world. There they encounter the likes of Jaden Yuki, Yusei Fudo, Yuma Tsukumo, Yuya Sakaki and Yusaku Fujiki, and they aren't the only ones transported to this world. The girls of of the franchise: Tea Gardner, Alexis Rhodes, Akiza Izinski, Tori Meadows, Zuzu Boyle and Aoi Zaizen are transported here too along with three other groups:

 

Joey's group consist of Joey Wheeler, Syrus Truesdale, Leo, Bronk Stone, Gong Strong and Takeru Homura

 

Tristan's group consist of Tristan Taylor, Tyranno Hassleberry, Crow Hogan, Caswell, and Sora Perse.

 

Mai's group consists of Mai Valentine, Serenity Wheeler, Rebecca Hawkins, Jasmine, Mindy, Blair Flannigan, Carly Carmine, Luna, Sherry LeBlanc, Rio Kastle, Cathy Catherine, Anna Kaboom, Gloria and Grace Tyler, Julia Krystal and Emma Beesho.

 

Tea's group actually goes to a swimsuit shop, but run off with their temporary swimsuits cause they don't have any cash for them. Suddenly a girl in a cloak stands between them and the shopkeep and offers them a blank check, for him to fill out the amount needed to pay, and the girl takes the other girls.

 

Joey's group is having a more difficult time since they are now in an area not only with double earth's gravity, but also an atmosphere of carbon trioxide.

 

Yugi's group is picked up in a limo by a robot maid, named H.E.R.A. (Home Electronic Robotic Assistant) who outfits them in new clothes and enviro-packs, consisting of atmospheric converters, gravity alterators and alien-language translators. Yugi's group arrives at what appears to be a giant manor, but the manor is actually for H.E.R.A. and the mansion of her master is in in front and the left of it and it is bigger than H.E.R.A.'s manor. Once they enter they see that Tristan and Mai's groups also got the Enviro-pack treatment, and they're not the only ones here. As it turns out, another group came along and this group consists of Seto Kaiba, Mokuba Kaiba, Chazz Princeton, Zane Truesdale, Tetsu Trudge, Jack Atlas, Mina Simmington, Kite Tenjou, Hart Tenjou, Reginald Kastle, Declan Akaba and Varis.

 

The girls group, also in their new clothes and enviro-packs are also here, and H.E.R.A. turns on the lights to reveal a museum of artifacts. These artifacts include the Millenium Puzzle, A Dueling Arena, Yugi's Duel Disk, Jaden's Exclusive Duel Disk, Yusei Go, and Yuma's, Yuya's and Yusaku's Duel Disks. They also meet the H.E.R.A.'s master, a young girl, about 16, who tells them she is the descendant of Yugi Muto and Tea Gardner. She introduces herself as Yukina Gardner and welcomes them to the year 3018.

 

Yukina brings them to her lab where they find a time portal, which is supposed to be a time window and the portal part was an accident, which she hasn't been able to replicate.

 

Yukina, with help from Yusei, manages to track down Joey's group and wants to go, but H.E.R.A says that is not allowed because Yukina is the heiress of DuelTech, a multi-decillion dollar company specializing in Duel Monsters cards, duel runners , duel academies, Duel Disks and dueling arenas, which would make her a target for kidnappers, but thanks to a distraction by Luna they sneak onto the Duel Hauler X10, a hauler for duel runners which Yukina improved from Yusei's original work.

 

Joey's group is lured in by a cloaked guy and when Joey calls one one of them out, the one he calls out is the leader, HackerJack. Yugi and all his friends, old and new arrive just in time along with the guardian spirits: Atem, Yubel, Astral, AI and Flame. H.E.R.A. also arrives with enviropacks for Joey's group, however, none of these groups have their cards, but Yukina uses Yugi's Duel Disk to summon Exodia, causing the goons and HackerJack to run.

 

Yukina offers all the groups to stay at her mansion as it's literally big enough for all of them, and they accept.

 

 

 

[spoiler Character Profile: Yukina Gardner]

Age: 16

Hair: Blue with red tips

Eyes: Purple

Deck: Various

 

Yukina is the descendant of Yugi Muto and Tea Gardner. She has an amazing intellect, great at athletics and a gigantic heart. She is the heir of DuelTech, a multi-decillion dolllar company which specializes in Duel Monsters Cards, Duel Runners, Duel Disks and Dueling Arenas. Fascinated by the story of her ancestors, she builds a time window to view their past duels as they happened, but accidentaly brought duelists from across time to her time. Though she owns DuelTech, she's too young to run it, a task left to her aunt, Madeline Usami, and is watched by H.E.R.A. Yukina also has an outgoing spirit but her aunt does not allow her to go on any adventures.

 

 

 

[spoiler character profile: H.E.R.A]

Age: Robot (Looks 23)

Hair: Blonde

Eyes: Blue (Glow red)

Deck: None

 

H.E.R.A. is short for Home Electronic Robot Assistant. She is Yukina's personal maid and Madeline's eyes to keep her out of trouble.

 

 

 

Imagine all the scenarios presented here: Mindy fawning over Jack Atlas, Joey and Tristan scared out of their wits by the older Trudge, Mai gushing over Julia's Gem Knights, the list goes on.

 

Anyway, what do you all think? If you don't like it, I can scrap the idea.

 

[spoiler Chapter 1: Far Flung Future]

At Solomon Muto's game shop in Domino city, Joey Wheeler and Tristan Taylor are wrestling over the tv remote. Joey wants to watch the regional finals while Tristan wants to watch a man vs. nature show. Yugi Muto, Tea Gardner and Solomon Muto enter and break up the argument. With Solomon stealing the remote right under Joey and Tristan's noses.

 

Solomon: "This is silly. You know my soaps are on in five minutes."

 

Joey: "Then that gives us five minutes of who will be the new champion."

 

Just as Joey pressed the button, a ball of light engulfs the game shop. When the light fades, Yugi and Solomon were the only ones who emerged from it. They find themselves in the game shop, which is now in ruins. They soon find themselves underground, and when they emerged from a manhole cover...

 

Yugi: "Grandpa... I don't think Joey just changed the channel... he changed the whole world!"

 

Yugi and his grandpa discovered that there were giant, high-tech skyscrapers.

 

Yugi: "How could this happen? One minute we had an argument over who gets to watch the TV, and the next we're flung into something out of an old sci-fi cartoon."

 

Grandpa: "Well wherever we are, we might as well try to find someone who knows where we are."

 

???: "So you guys are here too huh?"

 

Yugi and Solomon look up in a tree and find none other than Jaden Yuki. After a friendly handshake, the three then hear screaming. It came from two boys who were being chased by a gang of bikers with duel runners. Yugi, Jaden and Solomon try to catch up, with Jaden carrying Solomon. The two boys were cornered until Yugi and Jaden arrive. Suddenly, two other figures, appear. Yugi and Jaden instantly recognize one of them as Yusei Fudo, but the other is a complete mystery. Yusei manages to beat two of the thugs while the others run off.

 

???: "That was awesome!"

 

???: "You guys are amazing!"

 

Yusei: "And you guys are?"

 

Yuma: "Sorry, I'm Yuma Tsukumo."

 

Yuya: "And I'm Yuya Sakaki. But how'd you know where to find us?"

 

Yusei: "He helped me out."

 

Yugi: "Thanks for your help, uh..."

 

Yusaku: "Yusaku, Yusaku Fujiki."

 

Solomon: "Well, as much as introductions are polite, we have to find someplace less conspicuous."

 

Everyone else: "Agreed."

 

Elsewhere, Tea and five other girls were running from an angry shop clerk, and she thinks back to how she got into this predicament.

 

Flashback:

 

Tea wakes up and finds herself in a waterpark with water slides as big as roller coasters. there she finds four young girls being harassed by bullies. Tea jumps off and manages to soak the girls clothes with a cannonball, though that is not what she intended to do. Just as the thugs were about to go after Tea, a blizzard of rose petals appears from nowhere and a giant dragon appears to scare off the thugs. the dragon then returns to the arm of the girl who summoned it. After dusting themselves off each girl introduces themselves.

 

Tea: "Well... okay this is awkward but I'm Tea Gardner. Nice to meet all of you."

 

Girl 1: "You're THE Tea Gardner, one of Yugi Muto's best friends? It's an honor. My name is Alexis Rhodes, I heard a lot about you from Duel Academy."

 

Girl 2: "It's nice to make your acquaintance. I'm Akiza Izinski."

 

Girl 3: "Nice to meet you Miss Tea, Miss Alexis and Miss Izinski. My name is Tori, Tori Meadows."

 

Girl 4: "My name is Zuzu Boyle. It's very nice to meet all of you."

 

Girl 5: "And I am Aoi Zaizen. Ditto."

 

Tea: "Well, now that we've established who we are, let's go find some new clothes."

 

Zuzu: "I did find a shop. Maybe they can have something."

 

They head to the shop only to find out it's a shop for swimsuits. All the girls had to get onesies. When the shop clerk asks how they will pay, Tea only has a quarter from her skirt.

 

Clerk: "WHAT ARE YOU A COMEDIANNE?!"

 

Suddenly a wealthy lady appears and pays for her own swimsuit, the price being 1,000,000 gigalax. All the girls were shocked as none of them have ever heard of gigalax.

 

Tea: "Uh... ladies... I think we'd better... RUN!"

 

Tea's group manages to run but the clerk was right on their tails.

 

Flashforward.

 

Just as the clerk is about to catch up to them, a mysterious cloaked figure appears and offers the clerk a check for the total cost of all six swimsuits and spirits off the girls. The clerk was dumbfounded and proceeds to cash the check.

 

Elsewhere, Joey and his group, consisting of people he just met, Syrus Truesdale, Leo, Brink Stone, Gong Strong and Takeru Homura, were in a rather difficult situation: Not only were they in an area with double Earth's normal gravity, but the atmosphere was composed of carbon trioxide.

 

Meanwhile Yugi's group were about to enter another area with triple Earth's gravity until a hovering limo appears before them. The driver side window opens up.

 

???: "Come with me if you want to live."

 

With no choice but to comply the group enters the limo.

 

Once inside the driver is revealed to be a robot maid.

 

???: "Forgive the theatrics but my mistress has ordered me to retrieve you with utmost haste."

 

Yugi: "But what about our friends?"

 

???: "Do not worry. My mistress has found your friends and is having them escorted as we speak. Now for your attire."

 

The robot maid grabs Yuma and does something to him. He is given new clothes and a strange backpack. The robot maid then gives the rest of Yugi's group the same treatment.

 

???: "You can be so immature master Tsukumo. You need to adapt. with so many alien lifeforms occupying Neo Duel City the atmospheric and gravitational capacities fluxuate from area to area. I pity the fool who does not travel without an enviropack.

 

Yuya: "Enviro-what?"

 

Yusaku: "It's a device that apparently everyone is using in this city."

 

???: "Correct Master Fujiki. The enviropack is an apparatus complete with gravity adjusters, atmosphere converters and alien language translators."

 

 

Elsewhere, Joey's group was about to collapse until the meet a hooded man with an enviropack who tells them to follow him.

 

 

After a short while, Yugi's group arrives at what appears to be a giant mansion.

 

Yuma: "Wow, your master must be stinkin' rich to live in a place like that!"

 

???: "This is actually my house."

 

Yugi's group: "Huh?"

 

???: Behind you there, THAT is my mistresses mansion."

 

the robot maid points out to an even bigger mansion.

 

Two limo's arrive, each with a different group. The first group contains Tristan's group, consisting of Tristan Taylor, Tyranno Hassleberry, Crow Hogan, Caswell, and Sora Perse. The other limo contains Mai Valentine, Serenity Wheeler, Rebecca Hawkins, Jasmine, Mindy, Blair Flannigan, Carly Carmine, Luna, Sherry LeBlanc, Rio Kastle, Cathy Catherine, Anna Kaboom, Gloria and Grace Tyler, Julia Krystal and Emma Beesho, all with new clothes and enviropacks.

 

Rebecca: "Yugi!"

 

Yugi: "Uh oh."

 

Rebecca hugs Yugi.

 

Jasmine: "I thought Yugi Muto would be... taller."

 

Mindy: "Yeah, and less geeky."

 

Mai: "Ladies, be nice."

 

???: "If you are done please step inside."

 

As they enter the mansion, the lights turn on and reveal an entire dueling museum. Yugi rushes over and sees a set of Exodia cards. Yugi thinks back to when Weevil threw Yugi's Exodia cards overboard. There's also an old dueling arena, the Millennium Puzzle, a few signature duel disks, Yusei's duel runner, Yuma's pendant, Yuya's Pendant, the stone tablet from the Domino Museum.

 

???: "You were not the only groups to arrive here."

 

Suddenly, Yugi's Tristan's and Mai's groups see some rather familiar faces.

 

???: "Well, I'm not surprised you showed up late, I'm surprised you showed up at all."

 

Yugi: "Kaiba!"

 

Suddenly, Mai notices Tristan cowering in fear.

 

Mai: "What's with you?"

 

Tristan points at Trudge.

 

Trudge: "Well, well, Tristan Taylor. How ya been?"

 

Mina: "You know him?"

 

Trudge: "We used to go to the same high school."

 

Tristan: "Yeah, and you used me and Joey for Pinata practice."

 

Trudge: "That was a long time ago. I changed since then."

 

Chazz: "Hey, the Chazz would like to have more tea please."

 

The robot maid grabs Chazz.

 

There was also Mokuba Kaiba, Zane Truesdale, Jack Atlas, Kite Tenjou, Hart Tenjou, Reginald Kastle, and Declan Akaba, also with new clothes and enviro-packs.

 

Suddenly, Yugi felt a piercing glare of death. It came from Tea.

 

Yuya: "Oh man, That's the Kari glare. It means doom for little brothers and clingy girlfriends.

 

Tea's group also was outfitted with new clothes and enviropacks too.

 

Suddenly, a spotlight appeared on the cloaked figure. The figure removed the cloak and was revealed to be a sixteen-year-old girl.

 

Girl: "I can't believe it, you're all here. This is incredible!"

 

Chazz: "Okay, who are you, why have you brought us here and what's with all the stuff?"

 

???: "Manners young man."

 

Girl: "The stuff. it's mine. most of it actually belonged to my great (x14) grandparents."

 

Yugi: "Who are they?"

 

Girl: "I'm looking at them. Yugi Muto, ad Tea Gardner."

 

Rebecca, Yugi and Tea: "WHA?!"

 

Girl: "My name is Yukina Gardner. Welcome to the year 3018."

 

Everyone but Yukina and the robot maid: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

Yuya: "Are you telling us we're all one-thousand years in the future?!"

 

Seto: "That is impossible."

 

Chazz: "This is the stuff Bastion would geek out over."

 

Yukina: "Ooookay. Also, I believe you all met my robot maid, H.E.R.A."

 

Yuma: "We've met."

 

H.E.R.A. "Forgive me. I am the Home Electronic Robotic Assistant, or H.E.R.A for short."

 

Grace: "So, like, how did we all get here?"

 

Yukina: "I'll show you but first, you might all want to group together."

 

After everyone does so, Yukina pulls out a remote from her pocket and presses a button.The floor they're all standing on sinks down and soon they arrive at a lab.

 

Yukina: "I've had a huge fascination with Duel Monsters ever since I was born, but rather than read books about it, I made this."

 

Yukina shows them a time portal.

 

Declan: "So you built a time machine?"

 

Yukina: "It was supposed to be a time window. A way to watch duels from the past. The portal part was a complete accident, one I haven't been able to replicate. With this window I could watch duels from Yugi, Jaden, Yusei, Joey..."

 

Serenity: "Joey. Where is he?!"

 

Luna: "Leo's not here to!"

 

Yukina: "Uh oh, I forgot to send a limo for them."

 

Tristan: "We have to find them!"

 

Julia: "But the city is huge, they could be anywhere."

 

Yukina: "Trying to find them will be like trying to find six needles in a sixty-mile haystack."

 

Yusei: "I may be just a local-yokel from the 21st century, but if your time portal can exude incredible amounts of energy..."

 

Yusei and Yukina: "There might be ambient traces of tachyon particles in tow."

 

Gloria: "Great, another one that speaks geek."

 

Yukina: "Basically, some charged energy latched onto your bodies as you all emerged from the portals, and we can track that energy."

 

Six blips appear on a screen.

 

Yukina: "Oh man, they've entered an area belonging to the Sons of PaniK. They're a nasty group of duelists  who only stalk their prey at night, and that section of the city is in perpetual darkness."

 

Yusaku: "We have to save them!"

 

H.E.R.A.: "I will retrieve the limo."

 

Yukina: "Sorry, but we'll take this."

 

Yukina pushes another button and the group heads to a hangar.

 

Yukina: "I present to you, the Duel Hauler X10."

 

Mai: "How can she afford stuff like this?"

 

Yusei: "And you made this?"

 

Yukina: "Actually, you made it, I just improved on the original design."

 

Carly: "Sweet! I call shotgun!"

 

Jack: "I'll drive."

 

Yukina: "I'll drive."

 

H.E.R.A.: "Absolutely not."

 

Emma: "I kinda figured this out but why exactly?"

 

H.E.R.A.: "Yukina is the sole heiress and owner of DuelTech. A Multi-Decillion Dollar company specializing in all things Duel Monsters. She is a prime target for terrorists and assassins. The fact she escaped my sight to retrieve Tea's group is..."

 

Yuya then sneaks behind H.E.R.A. to tap her on the shoulder, being a distraction while everyone else got on board. After the distraction, Yuya got on board and Yukina took off with her group. H.E.R.A. decides to follow her.

 

H.E.R.A. "Sizzling Circuits."

 

Meanwhile Joey's group had arrived and Joey saw that the cloaked man was actually part of a gang of slave traders.

 

Joey: "I get it, you wanted me and my friends to be part of your collection, well I don't think so you ugly dog faced monkey!"

 

Leader: "Are you disrespecting me you inferior primate?!"

 

Suddenly, Yukina and the rest arrive.

 

Jack: "You couldn't have gotten here sooner?"

 

Yukina: "Sorry, I only got my learner's permit and I'm still working out the bugs on this thing."

 

Everyone dove down. Yusei, Jack and Crow managed to fight off some thugs.

 

Leo: "Luna! You're here."

 

Bronk: "Wow Joey, you never told me you're friends with Yugi Muto."

 

H.E.R.A. arrives.

 

Joey: "And he never told me about the robot maid."

 

H.E.R.A. gives Joey's group the enviro-pack and new clothes treatment.

 

Syrus: "Finally, we can breathe again."

 

Leader: "Enough of this, I say we duel! I win, you're all mine, I lose, you all go free."

 

Yukina pushes a button and a duel disk display shows up. Yukina places all five Exodia cards on the display. Exodia is summoned and wipes out the Leader before he even got to draw a card.

 

Some of the thugs manage to escape, but the bruised ones were left for the cops.

 

Leader: "You're all on HackerJack's list!"

 

The leader escapes.

 

Jaden: "HackerJack?"

 

H.E.R.A.: "HackerJack is the leader of the Sons of PaniK."

 

Jaden: "That guy?"

 

H.E.R.A. "Indeed. Also I took the liberty of calling the police, and they should be here any minute now."

 

Joey: "Which means we have to make ourselves scarce."

 

With the press of a button, Yukina activates a tractor beam to get everyone back in the Duel Hauler and out of the scene before the cops showed up.

 

Later that evening at the mansion...

 

Yukina: "I haven't had that much fun in a long time."

 

Bronk: "You don't really get out much do ya?"

 

Yukina: "Nope. As for all of you, you're all welcome to stay. I insist, and as a celebration..."

 

With a touch of her remote, a giant table of food pops up.

 

Jaden: "All right, chow time!"

 

Leo: "Race you there!"

 

Gong: "Save some for Gong!"

 

Tea: "Those boys and their stomachs."

 

Tori: "I know, right?"

 

Everyone: "Let's dig in!"

 

This is only the beginning.

 

End of chapter.

 

 

 

[spoiler Chapter 2: Decks and Disks]

It was early morning. Everyone was sound asleep. That is until... The alarm went off. Yukina put on her robes and rushed to the foyer. There she found H.E.R.A. restraining Leo and Luna.

 

H.E.R.A.: Forgive the rude awakening Mistress Yukina, but apparently Master Leo and Miss Luna wanted to sneak in to play with the Dueling Arena display.

 

Leo: That's not true, we just wanted to see if it still worked or not. We never saw one before.

 

H.E.R.A.: Mistress Yukina invited you into her home and THIS is how you thank her? Miss Yukina I'm sure you want to take the appropriate action, so say the word and I'll throw these urchins out in the street.

 

A brief moment of tension is in the air. Suddenly...

 

Yukina:... I play winner!

 

Leo, Luna and H.E.R.A. were all shocked to hear this.

 

H.E.R.A.: Suffering Servos.

 

Some time later, everyone else wakes up.

 

Chazz: Hey, the Chazz needs his eight hours of sleep and I'm eight minutes short.

 

Yuya: Man, I never slept in a more comfier bed.

 

Jasmine: I know what you mean, not even the beds in the Obelisk Blue Girls dorm were that comfy.

 

Cathy: Indeed, they were positively purr-fect.

 

Tea: So what's going on here?

 

H.E.R.A.: Mistress Yukina and Miss Luna are having a mock duel.

 

Jaden: Don't you need a deck to duel?

 

Julia: We don't have any of our decks, genius.

 

Joey: Good point. Hey Yukina, think you can get us into your company and hook us up with some new decks?

 

Yukina: That's gonna be a problem. Even though I own DuelTech, I'm too young to run it. That's left to my aunt, Madeline Usami, and she doesn't like uninvited guests.

 

H.E.R.A.: Speaking of, Madame Usami has just arrived.

 

Yukina: I'll get the door, can you guys...

 

Everyone disguised themselves as wax statues.

 

Yukina: Okay then.

 

Yukina answered the door.

 

Madeline: Yukina, dahling. how is my favorite little niece?

 

Yukina: I'm your only niece Auntie.

 

Madeline: Of course.

 

Yukina: Please come in.

 

Madeline: I see your dueling collection has increased slightly. These wax figures look so lifelike.

 

Madeline pinched Tori's cheek, and Tori tried to keep a straight face

 

Yukina: I assume this isn't just a social visit.

 

Madeline: Of course, I just wanted to make sure you aren't getting into any trouble.

 

Yukina: Nope, no trouble at all.

 

Madeline: Good, because it would break my heart if anything bad were to happen to you. Well, everything appears to be in order so I'll be on my way. Places to go, people to see, deals to finalize, and a tournament to host.

 

Yugi: (Uh oh, she said the T word.)

 

Joey: I'M IN!

 

Madeline: What was that?

 

Yukina: Nothing, just the animatronic Joey was malfunctioning. H.E.R.A. found it for me in a junk yard. There are some bugs I need to fix.

 

Madeline: Well, if that's all there is then I'll be off then.

 

Madeline leaves and her limo is out of sight.

 

Yukina: phew.

 

Gloria: Way to go Joey, you nearly got us caught!

 

Yugi: Sorry, it's just that when Joey hears about tournaments he can't help but want to join.

 

Tristan: Yeah, Tournament is kind of a trigger word for Joey.

 

Julia: Anyway, she seems nice, for someone who tries way too hard to cover up her wrinkles.

 

Everyone else: Huh?

 

Zuzu: Julia is the daughter of a jeweler so she has keen eyesight.

 

Yukina: That is true.

 

Joey: So, let's get those dueling decks.

 

Yukina: Let's slow down a minute. If we're gonna do this, we need a plan.

 

H.E.R.A.'s eyes start glowing. As it turns out Madeline is watching everything through H.E.R.A.'s eyes.

 

Madeline: I warned you not to get into any trouble young lady, now you need to be taught a lesson.

 

Madeline turns the video feed to four young girls.

 

Madeline: Ladies, I have a job for you.

 

Later, everyone makes preparations to leave.

 

Yugi: You sure you don't want to come along with us grandpa?

 

Grandpa: It's alright. Yukina can give me a tour another time. Besides, I have a lot of catching up to do. I'm just glad to know that my favorite Soap Opera is still on after 1,000 years, and I may never get another chance to see every new episode.

 

Yugi: All right then, let's go.

 

Yukina: Wait. Take this, for effect.

 

Yukina gives Yugi the assembled Millenium Puzzle. Yubel, Astral, AI and Flame all feel a powerful presence. Atem had returned.

 

Some time later, Yukina and her group are heading to DuelTech's main building.

 

Yuma: This is so cool. It's like being at a sci-fi convention, but for real.

 

Mokuba: He seems pretty excited.

 

Luna: He's not the only one.

 

Suddenly, four girls on Duel Runners appeared and captured Yukina.

 

Jasmine: Who are they?

 

???: I'm Burna, and we're Rad Rax, the toughest Dueling Team in all of Neo Duel City! And this is Charla, Siren and Punky.

 

Punky: And we'll be takin' your friend Yukina.

 

Burna: Later losers!

 

Jaden: We gotta go after them.

 

Gloria: How, we don't have any Duel Runners.

 

Carly: No need.

 

Yusei: Carly, what are you talking about?

 

Carly presses a button on her belt and it turns out it is actually Yukina, and the "Yukina" Rad Rax captured was Carly.

 

Carly: Why do these things keep happening to me?!

 

Yukina: We'll save Carly after we get your decks. Trust me, she'll be fine.

 

Some time later, Yukina and the gang arrive at DuelTech's main building. Once inside they meet a cute girl.

 

Cute Girl: Yukina Gardner, the princess herself. And with friends. That's a first. Astrid Starlight, DuelTech Intern.

 

Yukina: Astrid's the best intern DuelTech has had in a while.

 

Tristan: Aren't you a little young to be an intern.

 

Astrid: Girls mature faster than boys, especially girls from Deltius Mobotri 16.

 

Yukina: Can you show us the machine?

 

Astrid: Sure.

 

Astrid brings Yukina's group to a room with a chair in it, and in front of the chair is what seems to be a statue of the Duel Monster Relinquished.

 

Yugi: This brings back some memories, unfortunately not all of them are good ones.

 

Yuma: So what does this monster do?

 

Yusaku: It absorbs monsters into itself and takes their Attack and Defense points and adds it to itself. What's more, any battle damage involved while this monster is equipped with an opponents monster is dealt to the attacker instead.

 

Yukina: This is an older model of an automatic deck builder, and not many know about this model, not even my aunt.

 

Yusei: A deck builder?

 

Astrid: The Eye of Relinquished scans your mind

 

Leo: And then it eats us!

 

Astrid: No, it feeds the information into the dueling computer, picks the cards best suited for you and then wraps them up in a neat bow, in it's stomach, which it then gives to you. It also makes its own Duel Disks, or should I say, your personal Duel Disk.

 

Yukina: Care to try it out.

 

Yugi: I will, but first...

 

With the power of the Millenium Puzzle, Yugi transforms into Atem.

 

Atem: All right, let's see what this deck builder is capable of.

 

Yugi sits in the chair, and allows the eye to scan his mind. And like Astrid said the machine feeds the information into the computer, picks the cards and they are neatly arranged in Relinquished's "stomach". Relinquished then hands over the deck to Atem, who examines it.

 

Atem: For an old deck building machine it is rather accurate.

 

Suddenly, Relinquished's arms shoot lasers to sculpt a personal Duel Disk for Atem. This new Duel Disk is modeled after the V2 version but the color scheme is that of Atem's signature monster, Dark Magician.

 

Yuma: Nice.

 

Soon everyone got new decks and Duel Disks. Yukina decided to build two decks: one for her and one for Carly.

 

Meanwhile, at a worn down part of the city.

 

Madeline: Well, did you get her?

 

Burna: Yeah, we got her, now about our pay.

 

Madeline: You'll get it when I arrive in person.

 

The communication is cut off.

 

Rad Rax soon realizes that they captured Carly instead of Yukina.

 

Punky: The boss is gonna be pretty mad at us.

 

Carly looks up.

 

Carly: You think your boss is mad, look up there.

 

Rad Rax looks up in the sky and sees Dark Magician, Dark Magician Girl, Cyber Commander, Red-Eyes Black Dragon, Harpie Lady, St. Joan, Elemental Hero Neos, Steam Gyroid, Cyber Blader, Armed Dragon Lv. 10, Blue-Eyes White Dragon, Cyber End Dragon, Goyo Guardian, Stardust Dragon, Red Draogon Archfiend, Life Stream Dragon, Ancient Fairy Dragon, Black-Winged Dragon, Black Rose Dragon, Number 32 Shark Drake, Fairy Cheer Girl, Cat Girl Magician, Tin Archduke, Antidote Nurse, Galaxy-Eyes Photon Dragon, Number 103 Ragnazero, Amazoness Empress, Amazoness Pet Liger, Frightfur Bear, Aria the Melodious Diva, Superheavy Samurai Warlord Susanowo, Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon, Trickstar Bella Madonna, Altergeist Primebanshee and Firewall Dragon.

 

Punky: What is that?

 

Carly: History in the making is what that is.

 

Yugi and the gang arrive to save Carly, however, Yuma is having a problem. Not only can he not summon his monster , but his duel disk breaks down. Astral sees he is trying to summon Ancient Gear Golem and not Number 39 Utopia..

 

Siren: The four of us against all of them?!

 

Madeline arrives and watches.

 

Yukina: Who sent you to capture me?

 

Before Burna could answer them, the police arrive.

 

Madeline: Yukina Dahling, did the bad woman try to hurt you?

 

Charla: But you told us to-

 

Madeline: Quiet, you worm! Take them away officer!

 

Rad Rax was taken away, and a card fell out of Burna's pocket. As Madeline walked Yukina back to the manor, Atem noticed the card that fell out of Burna's pocket. It was an employee ID for DuelTech.

 

After a while, as thanks for saving Yukina, Madeline allowed Yugi and all the others to stay, and left.

 

Carly was happy that she managed to beat Chazz, who was dumbfounded as to how a Fortune Fairy Hikari managed to beat his Armed Dragon Lv. 10.

 

Yuma was sulking however.

 

Yuma: Decks from the future are dumb.

 

Yukina: You tried to build a deck you wanted, not what your heart wanted.

 

Yukina presented Yuma with a deck and a duel disk modeled after Number 39 Utopia.

 

Yuma: Wow, it's my old deck. but how?

 

Yukina: Astrid frigured you'd pull a stunt like that, luckily she managed to study all your duels.

 

Yuma: Thanks.

 

Jaden: Sweet cards. Wanna duel?

 

Yuma: Sure!

 

Yuya: I play winner!

 

Yukina: (Maybe we do have a chance after all). Hey guys, how about a battle royale?

 

Meanwhile at the Neo Duel City prison.

 

Madeline: Next time I call you don't rat me out! Fail me again and I might not pay your bail. Understood?

 

Rad Rax members: Yes ma'am.

 

Madeline: Those fools nearly ruined everything. The next time they interfere, they won't be so lucky.

 

 

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At first glance, Yukina seems like a Mary Sue because of seemingly perfect qualities, being the child of the "heros" of the original series, not having parents to boss her around, AND having everything she wants in terms of money and a future. But, there's not really much in the synopsis about her reaction proper to the gang, so hopefully there's something realistic going on there with her having lifted people out of their own time stream and potentially destroyed the future, and who knows, there might be more to her than meets the eye.

 

The only real thing I'm worried about is that you have 40+ base characters, not including anyone they might meet in the world/story you're writing. It's going to be hard to give each character a reason for being in the story while making them and others interesting to read, and not making the plot move along at a snails' pace (insert infinity war ambitious crossover meme here) Regardless, best of luck, as this is something you want to do.

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At first glance, Yukina seems like a Mary Sue because of seemingly perfect qualities, being the child of the "heros" of the original series, not having parents to boss her around, AND having everything she wants in terms of money and a future. But, there's not really much in the synopsis about her reaction proper to the gang, so hopefully there's something realistic going on there with her having lifted people out of their own time stream and potentially destroyed the future, and who knows, there might be more to her than meets the eye.

 

The only real thing I'm worried about is that you have 40+ base characters, not including anyone they might meet in the world/story you're writing. It's going to be hard to give each character a reason for being in the story while making them and others interesting to read, and not making the plot move along at a snails' pace (insert infinity war ambitious crossover meme here) Regardless, best of luck, as this is something you want to do.

Yukina is not perfect. She has an aunt that keeps her under her thumb, and she has not had any prior dueling experience, and whatever she does she has with H.E.R.A., who lets her win.

 

Also, Yukina has a virtual arena that works like VRAINS that allows every character to experience another duel in her life. For example, she can replay the Duel Yami Yugi had with PaniK, and adapt to Duelist Kingdom rules. So for her first tturn she can set "Final Attack Orders", then on her second turn, after PaniK sets "Castle of Dark Illusions" in defense mode, she can activate it, then summon "Summoned Skull" who gets a whopping 3250 ATK and obliterates Panik.

 

This is one example. Imagine Jaden fighting Misty at the amusement park, or Yuya facing Joey in the Duelist Kingdom finals, or Yuma fighting what I call "Light Alexis".

 

I also have another episode that could easily be a lost GX episode.

 

[spoiler Synopsis]

Mindy's cute guy fawning eventually catches up to her and is informed by the Chancelor she has ultimately failed her final exam, but is given one final chance to redeem herself: She has 24 hours to find the three pieces of her duel disk and to demonstrate intelligence, strength and heart.

 

 

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That synopsis for Chapter 1 has me vastly concerned, because it sounds like the introductions are incredibly rapid-fire. I understand the assumption that we as readers will all be familiar with each of the characters, but I personally can't imagine much more than "Hey, I'm ____, and this is ___" ad nauseam, especially when you're categorizing characters into different "groups". Just look at the sheer size of Mai's group. I understand the idea that the premise is to have characters from every series under one roof, but as Dova pointed out, how could you balance all those characters?
 
Maybe this is just old fashion talking, but I'm mostly used to women taking their husband's name rather than vice-versa. I understand that's not always the case, but I find it odd that Yukina's last name is Gardner rather than Muto. Not to mention the odd contrast between "Yukina" and "Gardner". If you're following the dub names, then typically the first and last name are Americanized, with the only exception I can think of being "Jaden Yuki". This is very much a weird hang-up, but "Yukina Gardner" really does not make sense as a name to me.
 
I don't believe the synopsis says that the girl in the cloak is Yukina, but I'm assuming that is the case. If so, then why is she even wearing a cloak when she meets up with Tea's group? I don't think she has any reason to hide her identity. These people don't know who she is yet, and a blank check is called that because the number to be cashed in is blank. The person would still sign their name, so even if Yukina wears a cloak when she hands the shopkeep a check, the shopkeep's could look at the signature on that check and know it's her. And stores also would not accept checks unless they could confirm the ID of the person handing them the check, so if some random girl is wearing a cloak, the shopkeep cannot confirm her ID, and therefore cannot accept the check. But hey, maybe laws are different in a millennium.
 
What I'm saying is that "mysterious girl in a cloak hands a blank check to help pay for the swimsuits that Tea and her friends were about to steal" is not as cool or ominous as I suspect you wanted it to be.
 
Even if she's not perfect, the notion of her being the heiress of a multi-decillion dollar company is ridiculous. I suppose another millennium is going to have a huge effect on inflation, but otherwise it just sounds like she has access to that much money because "decillion" sounds cool and it's, like, totally ten times better than a million, right? But her having had zero dueling experiences is hard to believe both when she's the heiress of a company that's all about dueling, and that the chapter seemingly ends with her summoning Exodia. Or does her summoning Exodia count as her first duel? Or is it not even a duel, and she only just summons Exodia to scare the goons off?

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It's not really not being perfect that makes a character not a Mary Sue. It's having traits that are interesting and meaningful. It's having a solid set of core values that can hold up a stable personality. And it's being relatable to the reader, having human emotions and experiences that the reader can feel.

 

Anyway I think you should focus on one group of characters at a time, because that really is too many to deal with. 

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That synopsis for Chapter 1 has me vastly concerned, because it sounds like the introductions are incredibly rapid-fire. I understand the assumption that we as readers will all be familiar with each of the characters, but I personally can't imagine much more than "Hey, I'm ____, and this is ___" ad nauseam, especially when you're categorizing characters into different "groups". Just look at the sheer size of Mai's group. I understand the idea that the premise is to have characters from every series under one roof, but as Dova pointed out, how could you balance all those characters?

 

Maybe this is just old fashion talking, but I'm mostly used to women taking their husband's name rather than vice-versa. I understand that's not always the case, but I find it odd that Yukina's last name is Gardner rather than Muto. Not to mention the odd contrast between "Yukina" and "Gardner". If you're following the dub names, then typically the first and last name are Americanized, with the only exception I can think of being "Jaden Yuki". This is very much a weird hang-up, but "Yukina Gardner" really does not make sense as a name to me.

 

I don't believe the synopsis says that the girl in the cloak is Yukina, but I'm assuming that is the case. If so, then why is she even wearing a cloak when she meets up with Tea's group? I don't think she has any reason to hide her identity. These people don't know who she is yet, and a blank check is called that because the number to be cashed in is blank. The person would still sign their name, so even if Yukina wears a cloak when she hands the shopkeep a check, the shopkeep's could look at the signature on that check and know it's her. And stores also would not accept checks unless they could confirm the ID of the person handing them the check, so if some random girl is wearing a cloak, the shopkeep cannot confirm her ID, and therefore cannot accept the check. But hey, maybe laws are different in a millennium.

 

What I'm saying is that "mysterious girl in a cloak hands a blank check to help pay for the swimsuits that Tea and her friends were about to steal" is not as cool or ominous as I suspect you wanted it to be.

 

Even if she's not perfect, the notion of her being the heiress of a multi-decillion dollar company is ridiculous. I suppose another millennium is going to have a huge effect on inflation, but otherwise it just sounds like she has access to that much money because "decillion" sounds cool and it's, like, totally ten times better than a million, right? But her having had zero dueling experiences is hard to believe both when she's the heiress of a company that's all about dueling, and that the chapter seemingly ends with her summoning Exodia. Or does her summoning Exodia count as her first duel? Or is it not even a duel, and she only just summons Exodia to scare the goons off?

1. Easy, give them a mini-arc to explain each of their characters, when plot is not involved.

 

2. Following tradition. The main protagonist has Yu somewhere in their name, and Yukina sounds like a female name to me, I mean six series and not a single female protagonist. What is this Pokemon Pre-Crystal Version?

 

3. It's so that Yukina can't be recognized. She is the owner of a Multi--decillion dollar company, that would make her a celebrity ad you know how the papparazi are about trashing people's good names. Refer to the episode of 5d's where Carly hangs out with Jack to get an interview with him. As for the check, Yukina sees Tea's group from atop a building, signs her name on the back of the check she gives to the shopkeeper, and since it's 3018, try to broaden your horizons a bit. Think for a while: The check can be a smart check, with an ai that can tell if the shopkeeper is planning to go over the total cost of the swimsuits for his own greedy reasons. The check can analyze the amount written, wipe itself clean and write in the correct amount.

 

4. Tea's group didn't have cash on them. I mean would you have cash or the correct currency when you're flung 1,000 years in the future?

 

5.  This is a synopsis. The actual chapter will have more dialogue. As for the heiress thing, That is explained in chapter 2. Is Seto Kaiba 18? Cause that's how old you have to at least be to run a company. Yukina is 16 so she's two years short of the mark, so the company is run by her half aunt, a woman named Madeline Usami, who does not have Yukina's best interests in heart. Madeline forbids Yukina from Dueling, but that does not mean she is willing to learn from her ancestors. As for Exodia, my guess Solomin had a backup set of Exodia cards which were preserved via lamination by another duelist. I mean 1,000 years and the cards would be dust by then. Remember, she does have a dueling museum in her mansion with relics from series past, like Yugi's Duel Disk and the Exodia cards. And yes, it was to scare off the goons.

 

It's not really not being perfect that makes a character not a Mary Sue. It's having traits that are interesting and meaningful. It's having a solid set of core values that can hold up a stable personality. And it's being relatable to the reader, having human emotions and experiences that the reader can feel.

 

Anyway I think you should focus on one group of characters at a time, because that really is too many to deal with. 

Good advice, also Yukina's character develops as this fanfiction progresses. Most character arc's take time. Can't exactly make her human in one chapter.

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1. Easy, give them a mini-arc to explain each of their characters, when plot is not involved.

 

2. Following tradition. The main protagonist has Yu somewhere in their name, and Yukina sounds like a female name to me, I mean six series and not a single female protagonist. What is this Pokemon Pre-Crystal Version?

 

3. It's so that Yukina can't be recognized. She is the owner of a Multi--decillion dollar company, that would make her a celebrity ad you know how the papparazi are about trashing people's good names. Refer to the episode of 5d's where Carly hangs out with Jack to get an interview with him. As for the check, Yukina sees Tea's group from atop a building, signs her name on the back of the check she gives to the shopkeeper, and since it's 3018, try to broaden your horizons a bit. Think for a while: The check can be a smart check, with an ai that can tell if the shopkeeper is planning to go over the total cost of the swimsuits for his own greedy reasons. The check can analyze the amount written, wipe itself clean and write in the correct amount.

 

4. Tea's group didn't have cash on them. I mean would you have cash or the correct currency when you're flung 1,000 years in the future?

 

5.  This is a synopsis. The actual chapter will have more dialogue. As for the heiress thing, That is explained in chapter 2. Is Seto Kaiba 18? Cause that's how old you have to at least be to run a company. Yukina is 16 so she's two years short of the mark, so the company is run by her half aunt, a woman named Madeline Usami, who does not have Yukina's best interests in heart. Madeline forbids Yukina from Dueling, but that does not mean she is willing to learn from her ancestors. As for Exodia, my guess Solomin had a backup set of Exodia cards which were preserved via lamination by another duelist. I mean 1,000 years and the cards would be dust by then. Remember, she does have a dueling museum in her mansion with relics from series past, like Yugi's Duel Disk and the Exodia cards. And yes, it was to scare off the goons.

 

1. I think you have a few too many characters for those mini-arcs. You might want to consider trimming down your cast.

 

2. I recognized that her name follows the tradition. My point is that her full name does not make much sense.

 

3. "Heiress" does not equal "owner". As you've stressed, she's too young to be running the company, so she does not own it yet. Besides, the check would still give away her identity. If you have to tell your audience "Try to broaden your horizons a bit", that's preemptively shutting down critique of your own. Suspensions of disbelief are of course to be expected when reading stories like these, but that assumption can only get you so far. The writer needs to make considerations to accommodate that suspension of disbelief, not demand that the audience keeps stretching it thin. The smart check that for whatever reason would keep the shopkeeper from being greedy is fine, but that's irrelevant to the issue at hand. My point is that if she's trying to be recognized, a blank check with her signature that cannot be cashed unless she takes off her cloak to confirm her ID defeats the entire purpose of going incognito, so she might as well just pay in cash. The blank check raises more questions and problems, while just paying in cash would be simpler, and if anything, works better as a contrast to Tea and the others having obsolete currency.

 

4. I get that their money would not be any good, and stating that is avoiding the point about them almost stealing the swimsuits until Yukina pays for them with a check that has her name on it and would require her to let the shopkeeper recognize her.

 

5. Even if she's too young to run the company, your previous point was that she is a celebrity as the heiress of the company. I figured that Madeline forbids Yukina from dueling. I wouldn't say you're "guessing" that Solomon had a backup set of Exodia cards. You're making that up for the sake of this story, even though that raises the question of why he had never given Yugi that set to replace them. Or you could even say that they were the original set that Yugi lost, but restored and preserved to be put in the museum.

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1. I think you have a few too many characters for those mini-arcs. You might want to consider trimming down your cast.

 

2. I recognized that her name follows the tradition. My point is that her full name does not make much sense.

 

3. "Heiress" does not equal "owner". As you've stressed, she's too young to be running the company, so she does not own it yet. Besides, the check would still give away her identity. If you have to tell your audience "Try to broaden your horizons a bit", that's preemptively shutting down critique of your own. Suspensions of disbelief are of course to be expected when reading stories like these, but that assumption can only get you so far. The writer needs to make considerations to accommodate that suspension of disbelief, not demand that the audience keeps stretching it thin. The smart check that for whatever reason would keep the shopkeeper from being greedy is fine, but that's irrelevant to the issue at hand. My point is that if she's trying to be recognized, a blank check with her signature that cannot be cashed unless she takes off her cloak to confirm her ID defeats the entire purpose of going incognito, so she might as well just pay in cash. The blank check raises more questions and problems, while just paying in cash would be simpler, and if anything, works better as a contrast to Tea and the others having obsolete currency.

 

4. I get that their money would not be any good, and stating that is avoiding the point about them almost stealing the swimsuits until Yukina pays for them with a check that has her name on it and would require her to let the shopkeeper recognize her.

 

5. Even if she's too young to run the company, your previous point was that she is a celebrity as the heiress of the company. I figured that Madeline forbids Yukina from dueling. I wouldn't say you're "guessing" that Solomon had a backup set of Exodia cards. You're making that up for the sake of this story, even though that raises the question of why he had never given Yugi that set to replace them. Or you could even say that they were the original set that Yugi lost, but restored and preserved to be put in the museum.

That would make sense, but the story hadn't even started yet.

 

As for the Exodia cards, that could make sense, considering Joey saved two but the other three have been soaked into oblivion. Not like the cards are waterproof, so she could find and restore them. As for Madeline, she forbids Yukina from doing much of anything, unless accompanied by H.E.R.A.

 

Speaking of the story, should I make a new post for the first chapter in this thread or put it in the first post of the thread to save space?

 

The shopkeep: She can tell the clerk the check was pre-signed by Yukina, but the clerk does not recognize her as Yukina herself. 

 

The cast, I made points about this, the various interactions between them, like Atem vs. Akiza or Rebecca vs. Luna, or Yusaku trying to talk to Carly. Sometimes there can be two or three in one chapter, though that might be a mess to organize.

 

[spoiler interaction example]

Aoi Zaizen: Why are you guys giving Carly a makeover?

 

Mai Valentine: Because she desperately needs one.

 

 

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Madeline forbids Yukina from doing anything... which is why Yukina can just run around handing blank checks to whomever she pleases?

 

Add the first chapter to the first post so it's all in one place.

 

You still don't seem to be acknowledging that the clerk most likely cannot accept the check. Do you understand how paying at a store with a blank check works? Seriously, try walking into your local clothing story and try paying with a check, and be sure to put a cloak on so no one knows who you are. See how far that gets you. And why would the check be pre-written? The whole thing with the check is stupid and I don't get why she couldn't just pay in cash.

 

Various interactions are nice for the sake of it, but I presume there is supposed to be an actual plot here. Or is this meant to be more episodic?

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Madeline forbids Yukina from doing anything... which is why Yukina can just run around handing blank checks to whomever she pleases?

 

Add the first chapter to the first post so it's all in one place.

 

You still don't seem to be acknowledging that the clerk most likely cannot accept the check. Do you understand how paying at a store with a blank check works? Seriously, try walking into your local clothing story and try paying with a check, and be sure to put a cloak on so no one knows who you are. See how far that gets you. And why would the check be pre-written? The whole thing with the check is stupid and I don't get why she couldn't just pay in cash.

 

Various interactions are nice for the sake of it, but I presume there is supposed to be an actual plot here. Or is this meant to be more episodic?

More is explained in the second chapter, the first part, she snuck out in order to retrieve her ancestor, Tea Gardner.

 

Also, Yukina wants one thing above all else: Freedom.

 

And thanks. Oh I forgot to mention, this takes place after Dark Side of Dimensions, like maybe the day after.

 

[spoiler sneak peek of chapter 2]

H.E.R.A.: "I found Leo and Luna having a mock duel with no cards on the Dueling Arena display. I know you would want me to take immediate action so just say the word and these two shall pay a hefty price for this outrage."

 

A slight pause...

 

Yukina: "I play winner!"

 

H.E.R.A.: "Suffering Servos."

 

 

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