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BREAKING NEWS: Dad fights Tyrannosaurus Rex with his bare hands and wins.


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The fight started when Dad, a.k.a the neighborhood sheriff, was cruising down the street in his ‘64, when he saw the giant dinosaur trying to hustle on his block. Now, being a giant dinosaur, everyone would obviously run away. However, Dad never runs. The dinosaur locked eyed with him before charging at him, and Dad landed a mean right hook to the face, before an uppercut and more punches, and the dino went down.

 

“Boi, I fought lions, tigers, bears, wolves, anacondas, megalodons, mosasaur, sabertooth, and mammoths before yo’ pussy ass was even born. Ain’t no overgrown lizard gonna scare me. Stubby arm ass.” Dad said in the interview. “This muthafucka coming at me thinking he hot sheet. Bruh, this ain’t the Cretaceous period no mo, nor it ain’t Isle Nublar.”

 

However, Dad isn’t only about beating dinosaurs up, as he let me keep a Spinosaurus that I have named George. He makes a lot of money as a thot patrol officer and as a martial arts champion, so food and stuff isn’t a problem. Daily walks kinda is, though. He roars a lot. I’m still training him.

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