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Alright. We have plenty of topics in here dedicated to making good cards.
But what about one where we do our best to make some of the most poorly-thought-out, most situational, and most ridiculous cards ever?

Da Rulez:
1. The first person will provide either a name, part of an effect, ask for "support" for an archetype or series, or a rough description of what to have the card do.
2. The next person will make said card, then provide their own prompt.
3. This continues ad infinitum.
4. The challenge isn't to just make absolute garbage. It's to make something that, upon a cursory glance, COULD be used, but really SHOULDN'T be used. These cards do have to comply with PSCT and follow the guidelines of this subforum.

5. To reiterate, these aren't joke cards. Just cards that are considered jokes by the meta.

6. A good guideline is MtG, and how it has cards that are objectively worse than others. That's what we're aiming for. Schmuck bait.

7. And please, have fun, be civil, and most of all, be creative.

To kick us off, I want a draw card that is a worse Pot of Desires. Something that gives you 2 cards for the mechanical equivalent of your firstborn.
 

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[spoiler= Ninja]

Catastrophic Cards

Normal Spell

If 5 or more of your cards have been destroyed this turn: Draw 2 cards. During the End Phase, your opponent selects and activates 1 of the following effects:

●Both players discard 1 card.

●Both players Special Summon 1 monster from their Graveyard in face-up Attack Position with its effects negated and its ATK reduced to 0.

You can only activate 1 "Catastrophic Cards" per turn.

 

Not only is the activation condition not happening in any Deck that isn't Rokkets or Fire Kings, but your opponent is the one to choose whether you both have to discard or you both get a monster back . . . and said monster returns literally helpless during the End Phase, meaning that you'll be eating damage as a point of fact if your opponent does let you get something back.

 

 

 

Amorphage Dragonfection

Continuous Trap

During your Standby Phase: Special Summon 1 "Amorphage" monster that is face-up in your Extra Deck. During the turn you activate this effect, you cannot Normal Summon/Set, also you cannot Special Summon monsters from your Extra Deck, except Dragon-Type monsters. During your opponent's End Phase, if they control no monsters: Draw 1 card.

 

Give us the old standby- a battle Trap that does a thing, but is just way too slow for competitive play.

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Relieving Force
Trap/Continuous
At the end of the Battle Phase, if you took battle damage: You can target 1 Warrior monster you control; gain LP equal to its ATK.

This one isn't slow. It's downright glacial.
It assumes so many things about your boardstate that honestly, even considering Warriors are one of the most prevalent Types in the game, you wouldn't use this unless you were running something involving LP gain, like Aromas.
Hope this fits the prompt, if not, skip my next prompt.

A powerful monster that is designed specifically to counter a specific type of card. Think Orient Dragon and the Meklords for Synchros, or Invader of Darkness for Quick-Plays.

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That's not even a battle Trap. Battle Traps, by nature, stop or interfere with a battle in some way, usually requiring your opponent to actually attack before triggering (Mirror Forces, Sakuretsu, D-Prison, Draining Shield, etc.), and what I'd been looking for was one that sounded decent, but was garbage due to just being a battle Trap.

 

That said, I'll still do your prompt.

 

Code Interference Zone

Continuous Spell

The first Cyberse-Type monster Summoned each turn is destroyed. The first Link monster Summoned each turn is returned to the Extra Deck.

 

Please note that the latter restriction hurts you, too, so your first Link each turn gets auto-bounced, too- meaning that you're unlikely to get any serious plays going. It is a floodgate that sounds half-decent at first glance, but doesn't accomplish much in the face of more competitively tested floodgates like Vanity's.

 

A fodder card that's years too late, filling a niche no one cares about anymore.

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Limited Sacifice

Trap Card

If your opponent would Tribute Summon a monster that requires 2 tributes: negate that summon, then Special Summon 1 monster that would require 2 tributes from your hand.

 

Maybe useful if you run a blue-eyes deck against a blue-eyes deck, but who would actually tribute summon in those?

Next: A monster than hurts you more than it hurts your opponent

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The Fallen of Thunder
DARK/Thunder/Effect/Level 10/3900 ATK/3500 DEF
Cannot be Normal Summoned/Set. Must be Special Summoned by Tributing 3 monsters, including at least 1 Thunder monster. During your Main Phase: You can pay 5000 LP; destroy all cards on your opponent's side of the field, and if you do, inflict 3000 damage to your opponent, but skip your Battle Phase this turn. You can only use this effect of "The Fallen of Thunder" once per turn.

A card for a GX-era or 5D's-era archetype that causes burning when the archetype doesn't, and doesn't really help the archetype as a whole.

Bonus points if you understand what I'm referring to.

Even more bonus points if you do this to an archetype that doesn't already have such a card.

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5D's era generally revolves around incredibly specific effects rather than random burn imo

 

Arcana Guidance

Normal Trap

If you control an "Arcana Force" monster: Flip a coin and apply the following effects based on the result:

* Heads: Inflict 300 damage to your opponent for each "Arcana Force" monster you control.

* Tails: Take 300 damage for each card your opponent controls.

 

Next: Something that would only maybe see play in an older format (goat, TeleDAD etc)

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Trade Detonation

Normal Trap

If your opponent Normal or Special Summons a monster: Special Summon 1 monster of equal or higher Level than that monster from your Deck to your opponent's field, then destroy the Summoned monster. During the End Phase, take control of the monster you Summoned to your opponent's field this way with its effects negated.

 

This could definitely have seen use in Agent variants, giving your opponent one of your big boys that can't be effectively used for Synchro or Xyz plays . . . but it's an unsearchable Normal Trap that could possibly just help your opponent make a bigger boss to screw you over with.

 

Make something that just screams "lategame anime boss"- an immensely powerful effect for a card you're never actually going to be able to activate/Summon.

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The Unstoppable Elemental Overlord, Varisha

Level 12 | Fire | Warrior | Effect

Cannot be Normal Summoned/Set. Can only be Special Summoned (from your hand) by banishing 1 Level 8 Warrior monster from each of the following attributes (EARTH, FIRE, WIND, WATER, LIGHT, DARK) from your GY, including 1+ Synchro monster(s), 1+ Fusion monster(s) and 1+ Ritual Monster(s). Card effects cannot be activated in response to this card's Special Summon. This card is also treated as an EARTH, WIND, WATER, LIGHT and DARK attribute monster. Once per turn: destroy all cards on your opponent's field, then they discard their hand. This card cannot attack the turn this effect is activated. This card cannot leave the field due to card effects. When this card leaves the field: your opponent loses 2000 LP.

4500 ATK 3500 DEF

 

Oof, that seems pretty OP but unplayable as heck. Next: An Xyz that's an inferior version of another Xyz

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Soul Maga

FIRE - Rank 3 - Rock/Xyz/Effect - 1300/2000

2 Level 3 monsters

You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card: Inflict 500 damage to your opponent. If this card battles your opponent's Special Summoned monster, you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card: This card gains ATK equal to its original ATK, until the End Phase.

 

It's a strictly weaker Rank 3 Gagaga Cowboy in both effects, with the only possible benefits being the ability to use both effects reliably in the same turn.

 

A "consistency" card (drawing/searching) that's too slow to matter and/or has a tiny target pool that lacks anything relevant to anything (eg. Level 5+ Rock monsters or something)

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Yowza, this really flexes the creative muscles.

 

Full Powered Burst!

Normal Spell

Banish 1 card on the field, facedown. You cannot Summon, or add cards from your Deck to your hand, during the turn you activate this card. You can only activate 1 "Full Powered Burst!" per Duel.

 

An extremely random Pendulum monster that has lackluster effects revolving around its scale number (think like Metrognome).

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Dowsing Hot Rod
FIRE/Machine/Pendulum/Effect/Level 5/1700 ATK/2300 DEF
7 < Scale > 7

Pendulum Effect: Once per turn, if you have a card in your other Pendulum Zone: You can target 1 Pendulum Monster in your opponent's Monster Card Zone or Pendulum Zone that has a Scale between this card's Scale and the Scale of the card in your other Pendulum Zone; destroy it.
Monster Effect: If this card's Scale is higher or lower than the Scale(s) of all Pendulum Monsters your opponent controls, you can Special Summon this card (from your hand). At the start of the Damage Step, if this card battles a Pendulum Monster: Increase this card's ATK and DEF by the Scale of the opposing Pendulum Monster x 200.

 

Since neither I nor Draconus had prompts done right, choose one of the following:
 - A battle Trap that does something, but is too slow for competitive play.
 - A powerful monster that is designed specifically to counter a specific type of card.

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Cracked Mirror

Trap Card (Quick Play)

When your opponent declares an attack: the opponent loses LP equal to half the attacking monster's DEF.

 

The only use I can maybe see of this is if they've been playing a lot of self-burn cards, otherwise this probably won't bring them down to 0.

 

Next: Another extremely situational Elemental HERO Fusion.

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Elemental HERO Tomb Thief

DARK | Warrior | Level 7 | Fusion | Effect

"Elemental HERO Necroshade" + "Elemental Hero Avian"

When this card is Fusion Summoned, send the top 5 cards of both players' decks to the GY. Once per turn, when your opponent Normal Summons a monster: They must discard 1 card. When this card inflicts battle damage to your opponent, inflict 300 damage to your opponent for every card in their GY.

2400/2200

 

*could* be good against Lawnmowing decks but really isn't that great anyways

 

next: A Trap with an extremely situational effect (steal one of Yusei's if you want a get out of jail free card here)

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Stardust Diversion

Trap Card

If a monster with 2500 ATK would be destroyed by battle: you can Special Summon 1 monster of the same type from the GY, ignoring its summoning conditions, then change the target to that card. During the end phase: destroy the monster Special Summoned by this effect.

 

Next: A Spell Card designed to counter too specific for its own good

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Overlay Network Collapse

Normal Spell

Pay 2000; Detach all materials of all XYZ monsters on the field.

 

This card would be excellent in the previous format, in this one not so much and too situational.

 

Next: A Boss monster of an existing archetype with a ridiculously high cost that isn't worth it

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Something Armed Dragon Catapult Cannon levels of ridiculousness then? (Or you just want something that isn't worth running in its own archetype)

 

Adjudicator Severus the Forbidden Lightsworn Deity

Level 10 | LIGHT | Spellcaster | Effect

?/?

Cannot be Normal Summoned/Set. Must be Special Summoned from your hand by banishing 5 "Lightsworn" monsters with different names you control and/or from your GY, face-down. This card gains 800 ATK/DEF for each monster banished by this effect. You cannot Normal/Special Summon other monsters the turn you activate this effect (but you can Normal Set). When this card is Special Summoned: Declare 1 card type; your opponent banishes all cards of the declared type from their Deck. Once per turn, during your End Phase: Send the top 5 card of your Deck to the GY.

 

Let's see, this thing banishes face-down so Punishment Dragon cannot count it; you can't summon anything else the turn you play this and well, it mills more cards than Judgment Dragon's maintenance thing.

 

(Also picked LS for lack of better archetypes to give a boss with overkill restrictions)

 


 

Next:

 

Anime-esque Main Deck monster that's too gimmicky to play with in the current day and age. 

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Emperor Dawnslayer

DARK - Level 8 - Warrior/Effect - 1000/0

During your End Phase, if this card is banished: You can Special Summon this card. Once per turn, during your opponent's turn, you can banish 1 monster from your Graveyard to target 1 monster your opponent controls: That target loses 300 ATK and DEF, also, if it was an Effect Monster, its effects are negated and it cannot attack this turn. If the ATK of a monster your opponent controls changes: This card gains ATK equal to the difference between its current and original ATK.

 

Make a companion card to Emperor Dawnslayer, to be another card in the Deck of the anime character to play him.

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Knight Dawnslayer

Level 4 | DARK | Warrior | Effect

You can banish 1 card from your GY: Special Summon this card (from your hand). If Special Summoned in this way: it can change its Battle Position that turn. If this cards Battle Position is changed (Quick Effect): all monsters on your opponent's field lose 100 ATK and 100 DEF, and they cannot attack that turn.

1200/0

 

Next: A card that's only worth playing if you're certain you're going to lose next turn, and that doesn't offer much help. .

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Bullet-Tech Unit

Normal Trap

Activate only when your LP is half or less than half of your opponent's, and the difference is 3000 or more. If a monster you control attacks your opponent's monster, target the attacking monster: Until the end of the turn, the target gains ATK equal to half the difference between your and your opponent's LP, also it gains the following effects for the rest of the turn:

●If this card inflicts battle damage to your opponent, you gain LP equal to half the amount of damage inflicted.

●If this card destroys your opponent's monster by battle, draw 1 card.

 

Good luck actually using it, even though it is arguably one of the better cards of its type. Using it in combination with Metalmorph and literally any multi-attacker could maybe get you out of a corner, but it's such an unlikely scenario that it's practically impossible.

 

A Normal monster with decent support behind it (for its Type/Level/Attribute, maybe it's a Tuner, etc.) but such garbage stats that it's not going to be run over other similar options.

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Defective Defect Detector
DARK/Machine/Normal/Level 4/600 ATK/600 DEF
"A robot designed to find faults in other automatons, but unfortunately for its makers, it is unable to detect its own issues, and therefore, everything it examines will most likely have to be recalled."

So close...yet so far...

 

Make support for an archetype that would probably be at the very least decent...if it wasn't for restrictions to its effect that make it totally unplayable. One such example is Raidraptor - Wild Vulture.

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Counter-Reality Crystalisation

Counter Trap

If your opponent would banish a "Crystal" monster from your field during their turn, while you have no Spell/Trap cards set: negate the effect that banishes, then place that monster as a Continuous Spell Card in a Spell/Trap Zone.

 

Next: A fusion of two archetypes that have no business being in the same deck as each other. Bonus points for being from different eras.

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Gagaga-gagaga-Geargia

DARK

Machine/Xyz/Effect

R4/1800/2000

2+ Level 4 monsters, including at least 1 "Geargia" monster and at least 1 "Gagaga" monster

If this card is Xyz Summoned: Add 1 "Geargia" or "Gagaga" Spell/Trap card from your Deck to your hand. Once per turn (Quick Effect): you can target 2 monsters on the field; their Levels become the same as the number of this card's Xyz Material. If a monster is flipped facedown: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; Special Summon a monster with the same Type as the Set monster from your Deck.

 

GAGAGA
GAGAGA
GAO GAI GAR

#riparmz

 

High cost, high reward, but the cost is so spectacularly high that MAYBE one deck might run it.  Bonus points if "draw X cards" isn't the reward.

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