Two Students Hooked Up. It Was Clearly Consensual. He Still Spent $12,000 Defending Himself.

[Ryusei the Morning Star]

https://reason.com/blog/2018/10/09/uc-davis-title-ix-me-too-sex-hook-up

 

She hooked up with him, agrees to that much, but later felt it wasn't consensual. 

 

More of american's kangaroo court bullshit

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

I think i said this in another similar thread....might've been in the Kav one.

 

But this is the trouble with the system. On one hand if you don't take these seriously then so many actual cases of abuse slip through but on the other hand accusations can be damning on their own.

 

In my opinion cases like this should be made private. One way or another someone's getting dragged through the mud with how it works now. Sometimes people just....don't need to know about the lives of other people.

[Dad]

I think i said this in another similar thread....might've been in the Kav one.

 

But this is the trouble with the system. On one hand if you don't take these seriously then so many actual cases of abuse slip through but on the other hand accusations can be damning on their own.

 

In my opinion cases like this should be made private. One way or another someone's getting dragged through the mud with how it works now. Sometimes people just....don't need to know about the lives of other people.

Bullshit. There's no reason for the proceedings to be private. You can't fix the system if everything is hidden. Other than accusations, this man's life isn't "known".

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

Bullshit. There's no reason for the proceedings to be private. You can't fix the system if everything is hidden. Other than accusations, this man's life isn't "known".

"James, a freshman at the University of California-Davis" is the very first line there. And I can bet it wouldn't be hard to find out who he is. And now suddenly, even if just in his city, he's known as a potential rapist. Just because the media decided they needed to let everyone know this happened. (And I mean more in general not specifically this case)

[Dad]

You know who else is known? The false accuser. Guess we should throw them both in witsec cuz the case is public news.

 

You're over exaggerating.

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

You know who else is known? The false accuser. Guess we should throw them both in witsec cuz the case is public news.

 

You're over exaggerating.

Yes, they are also known. I never actually said which one was getting dragged through the mud. You specified the man so I responded as such.

 

There is absolutely no reason for their names or anything about this to be public knowledge except to satisfy people's urge to know about this kind of thing. They aren't a danger unless they're proven to be a rapist/abuser/false accuser and at that point they get punished for it as is.

[Ryusei the Morning Star]

You know who else is known? The false accuser. Guess we should throw them both in witsec cuz the case is public news.

 

You're over exaggerating.

He had to cough up over 10K. That's not small money

I'd say his family was dragged through the mud financially even if you think there is no public or emotional sigma with a false accusation 

[Dad]

He had to cough up over 10K. That's not small moneyI'd say his family was dragged through the mud financially even if you think there is no public or emotional sigma with a false accusation

 

That's not What i said. I said there's no reason for the cases to be private. I didn't say he didn't suffer a stigma or a financial loss. I said the case should be public.

[Ryusei the Morning Star]

That's not What i said. I said there's no reason for the cases to be private. I didn't say he didn't suffer a stigma or a financial loss. I said the case should be public.

Which in turn makes him suffer a stigma and financial loss

[Dad]

That's not a reason to make the case private. He was gonna pay that money regardless. Can't fix the problem of false sexual assault accusations if the case isn't exposed as the problem it is.

[(GigaDrillBreaker)]

A case being public does not ensure the verdict will be just, and no amount of vitriol slung at the supposed guilty party will fix things. Consider Brock Turner as a far extreme away from this.

 

Telling everyone who is accused of rape and who is accused, while by all means being a well-selling story, does nothing to assist the system. As much as people would like to claim that public knowledge prevents mistakes from being made, they are far more likely to latch onto things they really know nothing about. Justice, as well as sensitive information relating to it, should not be held by the public.

 

A big part of the mentality of "the people deserve to know" is constructed by mass media to allow them to push any story they want, and yet so many people get caught so far up in their emotion that they cannot grasp the fact that they really don't know how these matters should and do proceed.

[Dad]

How do you "push any story you want" when a settled case is made public? You mean an opinion on what happened or how the case came to be? You can push that but you can't change the outcome. The case won't change.

 

Brock Turner is a perfect example of why these cases should be public. Not only did he get off Scott free, but a woman's life was ruined. Its also not a case of false accusation. Justice wasn't done but we still get a lot out of the entirety of the case. Hoarding information isn't going to make any virtue of "justice" change.

 

This isn't about the result of the case. Share the information.

[~ P O L A R I S ~]

How is the lawyer even charging $12000 for an open and shut case? She's accusing him of "non-consensually touching her breasts and buttocks" when she admitted to non-consensually touching his buttocks under the reasoning "if he's doing it, I can do it too." How much did she and her family have to pay? What does anyone have to gain in this but the lawyers?

 

I don't see the girl as being malicious here, just lacking in a good deal of forethought and it's from there that we can learn some cautionary lessons. To me, it wasn't the touching that was the problem. They were both into the "hand stuff" and there's nothing damaging about a bit of heavy petting. It was the hickeys that made her self-conscious in front of her room mate, it was the hickeys that freaked out her mother, it was the hickeys that she said made her feel disgusted and marked, and it was the hickeys that led to her going this route. Had this girl communicated not to give her any visible marks I'd wager a good $12000 that none of this drama would've ensued. On the other hand if you're a ravenous man or woman, do think twice about sinking your fangs into your object of affection's tender neck without checking with them first. As tempting as it may be to vampirize them, you can focus on devouring their orifices and nipples instead for just as acute an effect that won't be gasped at and blown out of proportion by their overbearing parents and "friends" who so jealously guard them from a good time.

 

If you do end up getting a hickey, solicited or not, there's a whole site dedicated to tackling hickey-related issues! https://hickeysolution.com/ Their articles don't appear to have been written by a native English speaker, but it's comprehensible enough and impressively comprehensive in its solutions for covering up or lying about hickeys. I'm fortunate in that regard to live in a colder climate where I can inconspicuously wear hoodies for most of the year with most hickies fading within a week or two.

 

Ultimately, I encourage communication and accountability in love as in all things. Know what context you want for your love to have with your lover(s), communicate that as best you can, and be willing to accept anything that might arise due to a lack of prior understanding or communication of precisely what you want as a lesson going forward. No reasonable person goes into a love affair expecting a mutually destructive legal battle as I believe this case to be, though from what we know it would appear that the man took quite a disproportionate amount of the damage and that along with mantras that [alleged] victims should necessarily be believed would obviously not be in any way just.