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A Small Support Archtype I made: Locked Monsters. (Written)


TeddySlasher

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Name: Locked Heart
Level 3|Dark|Machine|Union
ATK:500/DEF:1000
Effect: Once per turn, you can either: Target 1 monster you control; equip this card to that target, OR: Unequip this card and Special Summon it. A monster equipped with this card gains 1000 ATK and gains this effect: When the equipped monster inflicts battle damage to your opponent's LP; gain LP equal to the damage inflicted,also if the equipped monster would be destroyed by battle or card effect, destroy this card instead.

Name: Locked Star
Level 3|Light|Machine|Union
ATK:1000/DEF:1000
Effect:Once per turn, you can either: Target 1 monster you control; equip this card to that target, OR: Unequip this card and Special Summon it. A monster equipped with this card gains this effect: If the equipped monster destroys a monster by battle draw one card; If you draw a "Locked" monster you can special summon it to the field,also if the equipped monster would be destroyed by battle or card effect, destroy this card instead.

Name:Locked Moon
Level 4|Dark|Machine|Union
ATK:1200/DEF:500
Effect:Once per turn, you can either: Target 1 monster you control; equip this card to that target, OR: Unequip this card and Special Summon it. A monster equipped with this card gains this effect: The equipped monster is uneffected by card effects, also if the equipped monster would be destroyed by battle, destroy this card instead.

Name:Locked Sun
Level 4 |Light|Machine|Union
ATK:1200/DEF:1000
Effect:Once per turn, you can either: Target 1 monster you control; equip this card to that target, OR: Unequip this card and Special Summon it. A monster equipped with this card gains 1000 ATK and gains this effect: You can't target any other monster for battle other than the equipped monster, also if the equipped monster would be destroyed by battle or card effect, destroy this card instead.

~Well that's it from me.~ :zpd:

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Unless the thread creator is okay with you collaborating or if this is a group project, DO NOT post your cards in another member's thread as this can be considered as thread hijacking and penalized accordingly.

 

Also yeah, if you post images, please do so properly using the methods in the thread I linked to you in Introductions. Hopefully you actually looked at it.

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If you wanted my attention, mentions would've worked. But since I'm here and you asked for a review, here goes. (Just note that I'm only grading yours, not the other member's).

 

 

Name: Locked Heart
Level 3|Dark| Machine | Effect
ATK:500/DEF:1000
Effect: When this card is tributed for the summon of a monster, equip this card to the summoned monster and it gains this effect: When the equipped monster inflicts battle damage, gain life points equal to the amount of damage.

 

This one seems fine for the most part, even if LP gain isn't particularly helpful nowadays unless it's massive. In regards to this, unless you can either buff the monster it's equipped to or direct attack, the LP gain isn't going to be much.

Name: Locked Star
Level 3| Light| Machine | Effect
ATK:1000/DEF:1000
Effect:When this is tributed for the summon of a monster,equip this card to that monster and it gains this effect: When the equipped monster destroys a monster by battle draw one card, if you draw a "Locked" Monster you can special summon it.

 

Draw power is always appreciated, so yeah, nothing wrong with it. The Special Summoning stuff is just icing on top.

Name:Locked Moon
Level 4| Dark| Machine | Effect
ATK:1200/DEF:500
Effect:When this card is tributed for the summon of a monster,equip it to that monster and it gains this effect: Once per turn, select one face down monster card,flip it face up and destroy it if it's ATK are lower than the equiped monster's ATK.

 

Card is reliant on the equipped monster having enough power and hopefully the opponent playing weak face-downs. Nowadays, most face-down monsters do tend to be on the lower end (barring maybe Subterrors). Issue is also with players still using face-downs. IIRC they aren't used too much at the moment. On paper, it works, but not really.

Name:Locked Sun
Level 4 |Light| Machine | Effect
ATK:1200/DEF:1000
Effect:When this card is tributed for the summon of a mobster,equip this card to that monster and it gains this effect: Once per turn, select one face down spell or trap card and declare either spell or trap, if your right then send that card to the graveyard.

 

I mean, Traps are seeing less play on the field by virtue of removal and other stuff. Granted, if they are Set, you may be able to call it correctly and nuke something, but not really seeing a reason for this one to be used over Mystical Space Typhoon / Twin Twisters, etc. I mean, it's added removal, but you have to guess what it is. (Also things about blowing up your own backrow for triggers, but that's really it)

~Well that's it from me.~ :zpd:

 

The issue with these cards as a whole is that they require Tribute Summoning a monster and obviously clog the backrow for other things. That, and comparatively, there exist better options than Sun/Moon for removal and whatnot.

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The intent of the cards is fine, though the wording is a bit iffy on some of them. The later two in particular read as mandatory effects that you have to activate, rather than optional ones you can choose to. To fix this you really only need to change “Once per turn, select” to “Once per turn you may select”.

 

Not that important as this is casual, but you may want to read up on Problem Solving Card Text (http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Problem-Solving_Card_Text) as you grow as a creator to smooth out how your effects function. I’ve included as an example a rewrite of Heart to show you how this would look.

 

 

Effect: If this card is Tributed for the summon of a monster, equip this card to that Summoned Monster. The equipped monster gains this effect:

·         When the equipped monster inflicts Battle Damage to your opponent’s LP; gain LP equal to the damage inflicted.

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The intent of the cards is fine, though the wording is a bit iffy on some of them. The later two in particular read as mandatory effects that you have to activate, rather than optional ones you can choose to. To fix this you really only need to change “Once per turn, select” to “Once per turn: You can target”.

 

Not that important as this is casual, but you may want to read up on Problem Solving Card Text (http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Problem-Solving_Card_Text) as you grow as a creator to smooth out how your effects function. I’ve included as an example a rewrite of Heart to show you how this would look.

 

 

Effect: If this card is Tributed for the summon of a monster, equip this card to that Summoned Monster. The equipped monster gains this effect:

·         When the equipped monster inflicts Battle Damage to your opponent’s LP; gain LP equal to the damage inflicted.

 

Bold is further fixing, since "select" is targeting in new OCG and unlike standard English, "can" is used instead of "may". But yeah, thatʻs about it.

 

I didnʻt fix the grammar here due to time.

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no offense, but the CyDra example is kinda too far-fetch to be executed

 

the DARK is kinda safe for now but LIGHT ones has Union Hangar and ABC for consistencies. but ABC variant doesn't really topping lately so its fine for now also i guess?

 

the ATK gain effect using DEF is kinda redundant wording wise since you can just say: equipped monster gain 1000. which is shorter and the other reason that there no mechanic in this game that alter ATK of monster that in the state that isn't a Monster as per now

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A lot of potential broken interactions are either too far-fetched to pull off or require more effort than needed. The Repair thing is an issue, but everything else beyond that is situational.

 

However, let's see.

 

Name: Locked Heart
Level 3|Dark|Machine|Union
ATK:500/DEF:1000
Effect: Once per turn, you can either: Target 1 monster you control; equip this card to that target, OR: Unequip this card and Special Summon it. A monster equipped with this card gains this card's DEF as ATK and gains this effect: When the equipped monster inflicts battle damage to your opponent's LP; gain LP equal to the damage inflicted,also if the equipped monster would be destroyed by battle or card effect, destroy this card instead.

 

The stat bonus thing is fine, though Links can't benefit from it due to lack of DEF to speak of. Least it's a bit easier to play with.

Name: Locked Star
Level 3|Light|Machine|Union
ATK:1000/DEF:1000
Effect:Once per turn, you can either: Target 1 monster you control; equip this card to that target, OR: Unequip this card and Special Summon it. A monster equipped with this card gains this card's DEF as ATK and gains this effect: If the equipped monster destroys a monster by battle draw one card; If you draw a "Locked" monster you can special summon it to the field,also if the equipped monster would be destroyed by battle or card effect, destroy this card instead.

 

Aforementioned problem with CyTwin and Rampage are existent, but it is a very specific instance (coupled with Limiter). But then again, you can apply this to any monster with sufficient ATK/DEF and multiple attack capacities. Card drawing is a concern in this instance, but outside these particular cases, it is fine. Though, you may want to remove the stat boosting on all of them because it can/will get stupid in those cases.

Name:Locked Moon
Level 4|Dark|Machine|Union
ATK:1200/DEF:500
Effect:Once per turn, you can either: Target 1 monster you control; equip this card to that target, OR: Unequip this card and Special Summon it. A monster equipped with this card gains this card's DEF as ATK and gains this effect: The equipped monster is unaffected by card effects, also if the equipped monster would be destroyed by battle, destroy this card instead.

 

Blanket immunity to effects is fine and all, but again, coupling with the stat boosting with anything that has a moderately good DEF to play with leads to some issues. Not that it's this card's fault on its own, but in tandem with everything else; you get it.

Name:Locked Sun
Level 4 |Light|Machine|Union
ATK:1200/DEF:1000
Effect:Once per turn, you can either: Target 1 monster you control; equip this card to that target, OR: Unequip this card and Special Summon it. A monster equipped with this card gains this card's DEF as ATK and gains this effect: You can't target any other monster for battle other than the equipped monster, also if the equipped monster would be destroyed by battle or card effect, destroy this card instead.

 

This one would be fine having the boost and its current effect, but that's about it. Or Heart because LP gain isn't particularly dangerous.

~Well that's it from me.~ :zpd:

 

Like I said above, you shouldn't have ALL of these monsters carry the DEF-gaining thing, especially since a few of them have other effects that are potentially problematic. The wording for stat gain isn't really redundant as stuff like Wild Nature's Release does exist, which serves a similar purpose (albeit temporary and with its side effects).

 

Yes, you have ABCs and other sheet to deal with, but the point of Casual Cards is for members to not be subjected to knowing what goes on in the metagame / criticized for it. If you want to go into that subject more, take it to Advanced.

 

@@Renaiya it wasn't my general idea to pair those two together but I see what you mean by that. Do you want me to change something or are you just pointing it out?

 

Probably the latter, but ultimately, it's your decision whether to fix it or not. These are your designs, not ours.

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