[Written] Shinoborn Peafowl

[o_smily]

Shinoborn Peafowl

WIND

Winged Beast/Xyz/Spirit/Effect

Rank 4 - 2300/2400

 

2 Level 4 Spirit monsters

Must be Xyz Summoned with the above materials, and cannot be Summoned by other ways. Once per turn, during the End Phase, if this card was Normal Summoned or flipped face-up this turn: Return it to the Extra Deck. During either player's turn, if this face-up card were to be leave the field by a monster effect: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; this card does not leave the field. Xyz Material detached from this card return to the hand. Once per turn, if this card is in your GY: You can target 1 Spirit monster on the field; return it to its owner's hand, and if you do, return this card to the Extra Deck.

[Darj]

Text fix suggestion:

 

2 Level 4 Spirit monsters

Must be Xyz Summoned with the above materials. Once per turn, during the End Phase, if this card was Special Summoned or flipped face-up this turn: Return it to the Extra Deck. If this face-up card would leave the field by a monster effect, you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card instead. Xyz Materials detached from this card are returned to the hand instead of being sent to the GY. Once per turn, if this card is in your GY: You can target 1 Spirit monster on the field; return it to its owner's hand, and if you do, return this card to the Extra Deck.

 

 

I made the 3rd effect continuous to be more consistent with protection effects like Maestroke's and Zenmaines', which don't start a chain. That aside, this doesn't look good, IMO. It's merely a stalling Rank4. Doesn't help you to make a stronger board, and is only good for soaking some attacks and effects, but with 2300/2400 stats it is barely a threat or a wall. If your intent with this card is to be a wall, then I can only think of suggesting to make it indestructible by battle, maybe once or twice per turn.

[Flash Flyer - Sakura]

I'd have to agree with Darj that the protection effect needs some work, especially taking into consideration Spirits and their current lack of speed [also the thing with MR4]. Maybe make it indestructible to battle altogether so you could just run this into something before it goes, then use the detaches to handle removal. Or better yet, just expand the detach effect to include S/T as well.

 

But besides that, I'm really not seeing how this is going to help Spirits out besides not sending them to the GY if they get detached. Also to be fair, I really don't think having the general Spirit clause on this is helping this do what it's intended to be doing. The Shinobird Rituals replace themselves somewhat when they bounce; this doesn't.

[o_smily]

I see what you are going at. Thank you for the feedback.