interesting character but, despite the quirkiness of her playing a deck that she may not completely understand, she seems a little bland and I can't really find any motivation for her, unless I misread something that is also you didn't put down a birthday which is used as a plot device to let characters duel whoever they want. Onto the cards, while I appreciate the time you took to make a complete deck list it, along with a non-custom card list (unless of course you deck doesn't use any customs) aren't required for this RP, not saying get rid of it just thought it worth mentioning. one or two of the customs are just ridiculous while a lot of the rest have some minor wording problems that make it hard to understand what they're suppose to do at first glance, such as the case of "baby bottle" where, until i saw it was an equip card after reading it a couple times (which i admit is my own fault for not seeing) i couldn't figure out what monster would be gaining ATK. I'm going to list the rest of the cards I had an issue with below (The ones that absolutely need to be changed or removed or in black), hopefully i'm just missing something and the majority of cards don't have to be redone or replaced. Rejected pending response.
Beauty Magical Experiment
based on it being it's own sentance i'm guessing the ritual summon part happens regardless of whether or not you have a spellcaster? i'm no expert with the way things should be worded but i suggest making it a single sentence and changing "Then" to "after this card relolves"
while it doesn't effect the outcome of the card monsters don't "gain" levels in the sense you're using it, "gain" would be used in an effect where their level just becomes that of the target, for the card to work how you want it their levels would have to be "increased"
Divine New Dawn
again the wording change doesn't affect the card, it's more just to clean it up a bitThis card cannot be negated. Choose one:*Ritual Summon one "Reborn: The Baby Dragon of Ra" from your hand or GY by tributing monsters whose levels equal 12 or above (at least 3), this summon cannot be negated.*Tribute 1 "REBORN: The Baby Dragon of Ra" Special Summon "The Winged Dragon of Ra" or "Hamon, Lord of Striking Thunder" from your hand ignoring summoning conditions, this summon cannot be negated.Floaty CastleThe destruction prevention effect is to strong even if it's coin flip dependent, especially in an RP where you can just decide the coin results, change it to once per turnPacifiernot sure what your intention was with it but saying the equipped monster can't activate effects doesn't stop passsive effects (if that's what their called) such as dream gardners ability to make monsters Lvl 3 and count as Lvl 5 for ritual summonsPlay Pretendfor the second effect, do you banish it from the hand? the deck? the GY? it's a normal spell so you can't banish it from the field. and if it is from the GY can both these effects be actiavted the same turn?Pot of Cookies500 free lifepoint per turn seems a bit much, maybe lower it to 300 or add a cost?Reborn: Dream Gardenerfor the last effect change it to "You can Banish this card from your GY as a tribute for a Ritual Summon" the way you have it now is worded in a way that it would activate after the monster is summoned i thinkReborn: Omega Project Alpha LionWhile I won't force you to remove it and it is kinda hard to pull off i'd rather not have win condition effects in decks unless that's the focus of the deck, the former makes it an exciting race against the clock story wise while the latter just gives a character an easy out when they're in a tough spotReborn: Baby Dragon of Raanything that doubles your LP is OP, especially in a deck focused on gaining as much LP as possible, i'm also confused by the second ability, there's no rule that says you can't go higher than your starting LP in yugioh so there isn't really such thing as "surplus" LPSleepy Babywhat do you mean by "The entire tribute and up to five tributes"Strollerso does a monster effect have to change it to ATK or can it only change to ATK if another monster does first?Protection of the Sacred Eagleby "with a monster" do you mean against a monster you control, meaning you can't activate this card if it's a direct attack?Ultimate Combustionignoring the wording, a card that randomly deals damage to players until it's negated or a player loses is unfair, if they didn't negate or destroy it the first time they probably don't have anything to stop it. if you can win the game with just one card that card is probably to strong
Hmmm... Firstly, thank you for the feedback! I am aware that some of the cards had wording problems , though I thought it best to deliver a character within a more reasonable time frame. I apologize. That said, after reading your comment, and I want to preface what I'm about to say by stating this is of course, nothing you've done wrong, I believe attempting to rework all of the details you find necessary would lead to a fundamental change in the character or deck, potentially making the later unviable. Some things boil down to small corrections or things that I simply didn't do yet because I still needed to round out the final details- Like putting in a birthday or the motivation for entering the tournament or explaining that Pot Of Cookie's cost is that while it is face up it doesn't auto-blow-up and has a much higher risk of your opponent destroying it to draw those two cards during their turn or that Pacifier is only supposed to stop ignition and trigger effects, not continuous ones. Other problems, however, are less fixable. If Ra doesn't double your LP, then I would either have to have it give a large amount of LP instead (which would arguably be even more powerful, because it doesn't account for the fact that you're likely to loose a lot of LP just from your opponent trying to win) or it probably wouldn't ever work because it relies on your LP going over your starting LP for stats. If Ultimate combustion doesn't end the game, at the risk of you loosing instead, then the entire point of its existence is null and void. Two of the deck's win conditions are suddenly gone that way, leaving only Omega Lion. On the character side, you find the conflicts I set for the character - deep envy and an attempt to nonetheless keep impressions in a situation that hurts her but where nothing particularly bad is actually happening to her - to be bland.
The only real choices therefore would be to completely alter at their core both the deck and the character. I simply don't believe I would have the time or the motivation to do that. Once again: You did nothing wrong. I am not saying you did. Your comments may be a fair assessment and judgment upon the cards and the character in the light of the RP's needs. But at this time, I just don't think I can go along with altering my work to such a deep extent.
Thank you very much for the opportunity to apply and I wish you all the best with this RP and everything in ya're lives!