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07 November 2018 - 10:11 PM



29 October 2018 - 05:40 PM

is it time for this again? I guess it's time for this again. mkay guess I'll help get it going ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yui Does Monster Reviews 2018

29 October 2018 - 03:33 AM


*sips Gatorade*

THIS YEAR SUCKED! Hold on that was too aggressive, lemme start over...

This year's Masquerade didn't do well. In fact, it did awful. Seeing as the event is basically over anyway and pretty much beyond any saving at this point, I figured I'd go ahead, jump the gun a bit, and do my monster reviews early this time around. I'll be touching up on this again later, but I'd like to real quick say: Monsters, don't beat yourselves up too much over it. It wasn't entirely our fault, but don't think for a second we don't have a part of the blame. The event was kind of doomed out the gates, and only got more so as it wore out in record time. Seriously, even the Bowsette avatar fad lasted longer.

Now, let's get into what you're here for. How not-poorly you did with your monster this year. Unlike last year, I won't go into who went inactive since that was fucking everyone, but I also won't be skipping any monsters. Here goes.

*sips Gatorade some more*

Oh, also, I won't be saying which monster was mine yet, since the big reveal thing hasn't happened yet. It should have been pretty obvious though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Daft Punk: A good enough monster. I'll just say it here so I don't have to repeat myself twice: I didn't expect to see three monsters that were two people this year. That was a neat plot twist. Sadly, this was my least favorite of the lot, not to say it was a bad monster. You sold the robot angle pretty well I think.
Five albums out of ten.

Danny Sexbang: One of the last two monsters standing. You get some respect for that, but no further comments. Not all that familiar with Danny (or most of these monsters, but oh well), but felt kinda one-note most of the time.
Four fabulous hairdos out of ten.

King Dice: We get it, you're a mafioso who works for the devil. Not that Cuphead characters really have much going for them in terms of personality or anything, so you at least tried to work with what you could.
Four blocks out of ten.

M. Bersback/Ember McLain: Honestly, Bersback was one of my favorite monsters this year. My initial stance on him was kind of outraged though. "How is this guy an entertainer in any capacity!?" I asked Black as I broke through the door of his Discord. But this endearing fella grew on me quickly, and Black never told me the gimmick, but did say he had one yet to be revealed. So I watched in interest... then a buddy of mine cracked the code immediately. I was looking forward to the transformation ever since that point, and while I feel a little let down by how it went, I can't say I blame you. It would have been interesting to see both sides of this monster, but it simply wasn't meant to be with the course this event had sailed.
Six ships out of ten.

Mark Hercule Satan: No major comment. Personality was fun enough to watch, and felt authentic, but knowing who you are behind the scenes and your initial plans with this, it felt pretty disappointing to watch.
Three afros out of ten.

Mike Tyson: No lisp. Where the fuck is the lisp? Why doeth thith man not have a lithp!?
Two lisps out of ten.

Murdoc Niccals: Had potential. Squandered it terribly.
One possible skin condition out of ten.

Mysterio: I hear people saying this was the best monster this year. However, I disagree. Not to say it was a bad monster, but... meh. He feels out of place if you ask me, but not as much as some other monsters I'll be coming back around to.
Four fish bowls out of ten.

Praline a la Mode: There was an effort. However, you too succumbed to the ghost plague that swept this event. Unfortunate.
Three ice cream names out of ten.

Scaramouche: One of the monsters I liked more this year. But STILL A FUCKING GHOST! In fact, you were one of the first ones to ghost, weren't you? It sure feels like it. Damn shame, since this had some really good potential. I could feel it in my bones.
Three flutes out of ten.

Shurelia: Who? Also, how in the fuck did this fit the theme? I'm sure it's obvious, but it's kind of hard to tell when you might as well not have been there at all.
Zero pretentious names out of ten.

Squid Sisters: My favorite monster this year, and one of the last ones to ghost. That secures you the highest score of the year from me. Too bad it's still only a...
Seven tentacles out of ten.

Statler & Waldorf: Another one of this year's better monsters, but ghosted way too soon. Can't entirely blame them, since by nature of being hecklers, they were forced to be reactive monsters in an event where everyone else was exceedingly non-proactive. That's hardly an excuse though. In fact, it isn't one at all.
Three punchlines out of ten.

The Pilgrim: My least favorite monster of the year on a non-personal level. How are you an entertainer? Why did you ghost so soon? And it seemed like you were going to try and set yourself up some kind of storyline for this event? I appreciate the effort, but don't do that then fail to follow through. A shameful performance.
One beds out of ten.

The Red Guy: My least favorite monster of the year on a personal level. You do not sit well with me. I heavily dislike you, and - much with the above - struggle to find out on any metric how you wound up fitting the theme. But, you were I think the last monster to give in, and the most active one in trying to do something. For that, I applaud you. Even if I don't like you. At all.
Five butt jokes out of ten.

Trixie Lulamoon: Review? What review? There was nothing to review! You ghosted before it was cool, but at least I get to pretend you had an excuse, and at least you properly bowed out instead of ghosting like the rest of these fucks (myself included). That doesn't help your score much though.
One magic trick out of ten.

Yuya Sasaki the Dueltainer: Nice job ghosting so soon. Weren't you late to the event too?
One pendulum out of ten.

undyingUmbrage: Another in the "I'm not sure how you fit the theme, but okay" category. And another in the "I dislike you on a personal level" category, but unlike The Red Guy, you faded into the shadows along with the rest of the pack.
Two drawings out of ten.

And now the boss monsters!

BoJack Horseman: I know what your plans were. You failed. I'm not upset that you failed, or that you ghosted with the rest of the pack. What I am upset about is that you had plans for this monster that spanned the entire masquerade and then did both of those things. Your few and far between appearances weren't particularly thrilling either.
Two glue bottles out of ten.

Mettaton EX: At least you have the excuse of actually being a ghost under all that metal. You did your best to hype up the event with your announcement, but it was a wasted effort. And you're a host for this event! It's supposed to be your job to try and make shit happen when your participants are falling off the way they did! Get your act together! And that goes for Bojack too! In fact, I'm retroactively changing Bojack's score to 1/10 because of that.
One glamburger out of ten.

Neon Katt: Our best boss, by simple virtue of you at least tried to turn the momentum of the event around. You failed, of course. But at least you tried. Of course, even you weren't immune to the ghost bug. Out of everyone, I think you tried the hardest to turn this around, and I genuinely appreciate that.
Seven rainbows out of ten.

Halloween Masquerade 2018 (event review): Alright, so lemme touch upon why this failed so hard. Some people say it was the theme, which wasn't the entire problem, but it was by all means a factor. Some people say it was the atmosphere, and they'd also be right. And others think it was the monsters, and they aren't entirely wrong either. To explain the problem, we need to rewind a bit, to November 2017...

*sips Gatorade in preparation for flashback*

Right after last year's Masquerade ended, we got a pitch for 2018's Masquerade. More than one, in fact! The thing is, out of the pitches we got, the one we wound up using was the least... well, stupid. The thing that stood out to us most was the themed monsters, which - and don't hold me to this by any means - I believe I was hesitant about at first. Soon though, I took a liking to it, if only as an experiment. If it worked, great! If it didn't, well, now we know not to do that again. This event was very obviously a case of the latter. But why? Let's fast-forward to right before the event started.

Event signups begin, and people seem upset by the theme suddenly being thrown on them. Which wasn't the case at all. It was announced several times with plenty of prep time specifically so that people wouldn't get caught off-guard. Big help that was >.> Of course, the atmosphere of YCM itself hasn't exactly been a good one lately. I wonder why that could be? Definitely not a certain section notorious for being the source of toxicity on this site, no sir. An unfortunate result of this was that our monsters - being entertainer-themed this year - were probably disheartened by the inability to actually entertain this year, because everyone's too busy being at everyone's throats. Which ended in them ghosting.

So basically, the entire thing was fucked from the start by poor circumstances ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"But Yui, whose fault is it then? Who can we point the finger at?" Well, that's a good question. Do we blame Black for his pitch? Nah, that ain't quite right; the event in a vacuum would have been just fine. Do we blame the monsters for their shitty job? That's not quite it either; it's real hard to want to keep being a monster when nobody seems to care. So it must be the non-monsters, right? Sorry, but we're still not quite there; the atmosphere was by all means a factor, but not the nail in the coffin. To various extents, it's everyone's fault, really.

If there wasn't a theme people probably would've done a better job with monsters. But on the other hand, a lot of the monsters this year were still pretty bad. Not helped at all by the poor atmosphere around them despite the fact that they haven't really done anything wrong yet. Everything was a factor in what was ultimately a fucking disaster of a Halloween Masquerade. I'd say I hope we can do better next year, but honestly, I'd be concerned if we couldn't.

Final score: Two tickets out of ten.

*one last sip of Gatorade before proofreading then posting. yummy.*

just sayin'

19 October 2018 - 05:09 PM






(183cm = 6'0" for fellow non-metric scrubs)

Hyper Psychic Rider

28 September 2018 - 12:55 PM