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MewMew3

MewMew3

Member Since 26 Sep 2012
Member ID: 631,474
Currently Not online
Offline Last Active Sep 15 2018 11:51 AM
*****

What's Happening Right Now

17 July 2018 - 03:17 PM

Not a story. Mods can archive it after a while. It doesn't matter.

 

I'm not dead. I'm trying to get into law school and do research for my last two fanfic "seasons". It's been a really long time since... October 2012 when I wrote the first "season". I can't wait to finally finish it. Too many years of my life. Just letting you know I'm still here and I'm still working.


YGO Characters Power Hierarchy

28 May 2018 - 08:57 AM

Tier 0: greatest duelist 

Yugi Moto

 

Tier 0.5: almost as good as Yugi

Atem

 

Tier 1: millennium duelists

Jonouchi

Kaiba

Bakura

Pegasus

Malik

Ishizu 

Aigami 

Shadi (in principle)

 

Tier 2: protagonists

Yusei 

Yuya

Judai 

Yusaku 

Yuma

Astral

 

Tier 3: bosses

Don Thousand 

Z-One

Aporia

Dartz

Rafael 

Noa

Rex

Rudgar

Darkness

Yubel

Sau 

Trueman

 

Tier 4: rivals

Jack

Reiji 

Ryu

Jun

Edo

Ryoga

Kite 

 

Tier 5: various champions

Mai

Leon

Sigfried 

Insector Haga

Dinosaur Ryuzaki 

D. D.

Doctor Collector

Team Unicorn

Team Catastrophe 

Esper Roba

Ryota

Ghost Kozuka

Satou 


Brony Frienzone Thread

25 May 2018 - 10:16 PM

This whole thread will be a collection of satirical stories and reviews by Brony Friendzone. Let it divert us with good cheer while I toil away on Season 4 Yugioh crap. 

 

--------------------------------------------

 

BRONY FRIENDZONE GOES TO A FEMINIST CONFERENCE

 

Screen%2BShot%2B2018-05-11%2Bat%2B10.54.

 

BOOK I

Sing to me, O Muse, of the neckbeard’s wrath,

And the feminists - those sociopaths! -
Who sent countless young men down in the soil
To work in the House of Hades with toil.
I am that neckbeard, Darius Reilly,
I conquered the women who beguiled me!
My adventure began in the mead hall
Of Reddit during an online meme brawl.
My friend, Ragnar_Redbeard, said to the host,
“Progressives are winning! Is all not lost?
You are cucks, beta males, pro-Spengler nerds,
White knights, brony losers, all virgin curs!
You’re as cucked as the Cultural Marxists,
Virtue-signaling regressive leftists!”
My other friend, MAGA_is_God, then typed,
“Leftists don’t debate, merely speak in spite.
They will erase all different opinions,
Shut down all free speech using their minions!”
He said this while blocking a beta cuck
From posting, which made me give my two bucks.
“I will go to a feminist conference!
They’ll acknowledge political difference!”
I pray I may succeed, Oh Fortuna,
To bring a future to all EVROPA!”

 

BOOK II
With sandals squeaking under socks, I came
To the conference so all will know my name.
My pants bulged; the women were so pretty.
A cute feminist? I must be silly!
I went to open the door for this dame,
Tipping my fedora, playing The Game,
I said, “Milady, it would be uncouth,
You soiling your little hands on this booth.”
She then shrieked, “Benevolent sexism!
Toxic masculinity! Racism!
Check your privilege, cishet white male swine!”
I was hurt, posting on Reddit to whine,
But undaunted. I saw another girl,
So I cast my coat over a drain swirl.
I said, “Milady, do not walk on grime,
For dirtying your feet would be a crime.”
The lady winced, “Ew, go away you creep!
I’m meeting my boyfriend across the street!”
- Walking, she sighed, “Where’ve all the good men gone?” -
With me you could have been a happy swan.

 

BOOK III
In the conference hall, I sat on two seats
At once, waiting for the speakers to meet.
An ugly lesbian came to speak first,
complaining of all the feminist dirth:
Of male abuse, the pay gap, and others
Such as women in gaming - Oh brother!
She then finished by shrieking, “KILL ALL MEN!”
Then did I know what danger I was in.
The feminists cheered. A black woman spoke,
“Straight white men cause all violence. We are woke
To our oppression. You should check yourself
Before we show up should you wreck yourself!”
The women cheered, “DOWN WITH MEN! DOWN WITH MEN!
DOWN WITH MEN! DOWN WITH MEN! DOWN WITH ALL MEN!”
A terrible wonder beheld my eyes;
An idol of Baphomet they did rise!
Alex Jones was right! They’re turning the frogs gay!
They worship Satan, to my deep dismay!
They made nine-eleven an inside job!
They incurred the wrath of the brainwashed mob!
The High Priestess then took a newborn boy
To circumcise it, to make it their toy!
How could feminists do this to us men,
Brutalize neckbeards again and again?
I am a neckbeard. Do I not have eyes?
And hands? Poison me, and do I not die?
Tickle me, and I laugh. Mock me, I screed.
If you prick me, bully, do I not bleed?

 

BOOK IV
That was enough! Roaring as Achilles,
I drew my katana named Damycles.
While the jocks partied, I studied the blade.
When they bedded girls, the blockchain I made.
I alone cultivated inner strength.
Barbarians pound the gate at arm’s length,
And the dumb jocks now dare ask me for help?
I quote Nietzsche as I chastise those whelps!
I then did battle with the High Priestess,
Who changed into a harpy to my distress.
The other females shrieked and roared, changing
Into harpies to cast me their loathing.
For days did I slay the harpies with sword,
Splattering the hall with blood, sick, and gore.
When I did, the lone knight, become fatigued,
Spying the last harpies, to do the deed
I drew forth the arrows of Heracles
And prayed to Athena, so she was pleased.
Hearing me, she did poison the tips,
Making deadly weapons of arrow sticks.
I shot ten volleys, and ten harpies died,
Splattering bird droppings before they laid.
The Queen Harpy shrieked, driving towards me.
I cut off her head, claiming victory.

I did rejoice in Perseus’ name,
But then I woke up and saw nothing changed.

 

BOOK V

I fell asleep while on Reddit posting,

and the feminists are still blogging!

My great deeds were naught but a passing dream.

In vain did I improve my self-esteem.

I’m still a virgin, with sweating fat rolls
And a neckbeard; all I can do is troll.
I ate Doritos, then sipped Mountain Dew,
Shook a My Little Pony shirt anew.
Cuddling my waifu, thus did this brony
Go online to watch My Little Pony.
Hark, my brothers! The old battle is done,
But new battles are out there to be won!


BRONY FRIENDZONE REVIEWS MARVEL: INFINITY WAR
 
2a4bi5.jpg

Facetious farcical frivolity, Avengers: Infinity War is a glittering garish gluttony of a film that fails all the rules of filmmaking. Put it simply, every fractious facet of the film is butter spread too thin on a loaf of bread. Too many bastardized superheroes strut the stage, leaving too little time for character development, creating a convoluted pitious plot so convulsively complex not even a physics major poindexter could crack the riddling riddle. If I could barely understand it, what makes you think you could?

Marvel and Disney ruined my childhood for the last time. Jack Kirby sheds tears from his grave. Only the conscientious cognisanti, the iridescent illuminati; in short, the gifted genius geeks, blessed as the pioneering prophets by the Father Stan Lee, the Son Heath Ledger, and the Holy Ghost Jack Kirby - may God rest his soul, R.I.P. in peace - our destiny as cultural gatekeepers individuates us in spirit from the philandering philistine as do the the genetic differences between Man and Chimpanzee.

The potholed plot follows as such: a purple titan called Thanatos wants to collect all the Chaos Emeralds so he could rule the universe or something. He kick’s Thorin’s butt so hard he sends the Nordic god to intergalactic space. Then his minions, Dark Horny Chick, Squidward, and Reptoid Jock - I still hate you, Chad! - invade earth. Two of the Hellenic heroes own a Chaos Emerald, one each: Dr. Strangelove and Space Englander. They repel the infesting invaders and seek out their comrades, the Space Rangers.

The Rangers, in turn, rescue a trounced Thorin from deep space, who then visits Gimli to help him forge a new Master Sword. Meanwhile, Thanatos abducts his stepdaughter, the Haitian hottie; he wants her to join him so they could rule the galaxy as father and daughter. Hottie says no, so Thanatos sacrifices her to Loki to get another Chaos Emerald.

Meanwhile, Dr. Strangelove murders poor Squidward with the help of Iron Dude and Peter Pranker, so Dark Horny Chick visits the politically correct utopia Wakanda to exact her revenge. The remaining heroic Hellenes aid the civil rights activist Malcolm X. Panther in defending his homeland in a brave stand that would make the Spartans proud. Dark Horny Chick sends in a million ornery orcs in a suicide squad, but the Hellenes fight them off.

I could no longer stand to watch the movie, so I left early. This malevolent movie is a politically correct nightmare. Why do half of all superheroes have to be women? Why do African Americans need a fake colossal continent when they already have Africa? Why don’t I have a Wakanda; you know, somewhere like Wyoming? Watching this movie is abstaining yourself on the pathetic parsimony enervating excuse called the vegan diet. It tastes bad with no payoff. Ars est multum etiam rei publicae, non est artis.

My high school literature teacher - who is a wonderful woman, by the way! - taught me that everything in a book or movie was a symbol for something ponderously profound; I was forced to write book reports on To Kill a Mockingbird and Hamlet using her methods. I can also shed some luminescent light on this massive monstrosity of a maddening movie. 

Thanatos represents Disney. Just as Thanatos wants to collect all the Chaos Emeralds to turn into a Super Saiyan and control the universe, Disney wants to bureaucratically buy every franchise known to man to control the world. A way better movie than this one, a movie I would totally watch with wonder, would be called Disney Versus Google: Civil War. Monstra in pugnam et facti estis ad monstrum.

As for other cheap characters, none of them matter. They are cheap cash grabs by Disney, dangling them as protruding puppets, scintillating screenshots, blazing their names as lambent lights to lure the damned dunces, the idiot ignorami, the poor Philistines into losing their hard earned money; just as the flannel of flame leads motley moths to their doom or the barbarous butcher leads the sleepy sheep to slaughter. Disney ruined Star Wars. Hands off my comic book heroes, sneaky skeevy swindling swine!

- Darius Reilly, Nerd Rage Ranter


Brony Frienzone Goes To a Feminist Conference

08 May 2018 - 08:52 PM

Not Yugioh, but who gives a sheet.

------------------------------------------

 

Sing to me, O Muse, of the neckbeard’s wrath,
And the feminists - those sociopaths! -
Who sent countless young men down in the soil
To work in the House of Hades with toil.
I am that neckbeard, Darius Reilly,
I conquered the women who beguiled me!
My adventure began in the mead hall
Of Reddit during an online meme brawl.
My friend, Ragnar_Redbeard, said to the host,
“Progressives are winning! Is all not lost?
You are cucks, beta males, pro-Spengler nerds,
White knights, brony losers, all virgin curs!
You’re as cucked as the Cultural Marxists,
Virtue-signaling regressive leftists!”
My other friend, MAGA_is_God, then typed,
“Leftists don’t debate, merely speak in spite.
They will erase all different opinions,
Shut down all free speech using their minions!”
He said this while blocking a beta cuck
From posting, which made me give my two bucks.
“I will go to a feminist conference!
They’ll acknowledge political difference!”
I pray I may succeed, Oh Fortuna,
To bring a future to all EVROPA!”

With sandals squeaking under socks, I came
To the conference so all will know my name.
My pants bulged; the women were so pretty.
A cute feminist? I must be silly!
I went to open the door for this dame,
Tipping my fedora, playing The Game,
I said, “Milady, it would be uncouth,
You soiling your little hands on this booth.”
She then shrieked, “Benevolent sexism!
Toxic masculinity! Racism!
Check your privilege, cishet white male swine!”
I was hurt, posting on Reddit to whine,
But undaunted. I saw another girl,
So I cast my coat over a drain swirl.
I said, “Milady, do not walk on grime,
For dirtying your feet would be a crime.”
The lady winced, “Ew, go away you creep!
I’m meeting my boyfriend across the street!”
- Walking, she sighed, “Where’ve all the good men gone?” -
With me you could have been a happy swan.

In the conference hall, I sat on two seats
At once, waiting for the speakers to meet.
An ugly lesbian came to speak first,
complaining of all the feminist dirth:
Of male abuse, the pay gap, and others
Such as women in gaming - Oh brother!
She then finished by shrieking, “KILL ALL MEN!”
Then did I know what danger I was in.
The feminists cheered. A black woman spoke,
“Straight white men cause all violence. We are woke
To our oppression. You should check yourself
Before we show up should you wreck yourself!”
The women cheered, “DOWN WITH MEN! DOWN WITH MEN!
DOWN WITH MEN! DOWN WITH MEN! DOWN WITH ALL MEN!”
A terrible wonder beheld my eyes;
An idol of Baphomet they did rise!
Alex Jones was right! They’re turning the frogs gay!
They worship Satan, to my deep dismay!
They made nine-eleven an inside job!
They incurred the wrath of the brainwashed mob!
The High Priestess then took a newborn boy
To circumcise it, to make it their toy!
How could feminists do this to us men,
Brutalize neckbeards again and again?
I am a neckbeard. Do I not have eyes?
And hands? Poison me, and do I not die?
Tickle me, and I laugh. Mock me, I screed.
If you prick me, bully, do I not bleed?

That was enough! Roaring as Achilles,
I drew my katana named Damycles.
While the jocks partied, I studied the blade.
When they bedded girls, the blockchain I made.
I alone cultivated inner strength.
Barbarians pound the gate at arm’s length,
And the dumb jocks now dare ask me for help?
I quote Nietzsche as I chastise those whelps!
I then did battle with the High Priestess,
Who changed into a harpy to my distress.
The other females shrieked and roared, changing
Into harpies to cast me their loathing.
For days did I slay the harpies with sword,
Splattering the hall with blood, sick, and gore.
When I did, the lone knight, become fatigued,
Spying the last harpies, to do the deed
I drew forth the arrows of Heracles
And prayed to Athena, so she was pleased.
Hearing me, she did poison the tips,
Making deadly weapons of arrow sticks.
I shot ten volleys, and ten harpies died,
Splattering bird droppings before they laid.
The Queen Harpy shrieked, driving towards me.
I cut off her head, claiming victory.

I did rejoice in Perseus’ name,
But then I woke up and saw nothing changed.
I fell asleep while on Reddit posting.
The cursed feminists are still blogging.
I’m still a virgin, with sweating fat rolls
And a neckbeard; all I can do is troll.
I ate Doritos, then sipped Mountain Dew,
Shook a My Little Pony shirt anew.
Cuddling my waifu, thus did this brony
Go online to watch My Little Pony.
Hark, my brothers! The old battle is done,
But new battles are out there to be won!


Some Thoughts About the Meta

14 April 2018 - 04:32 PM

You hear people complain how Yugioh is broken, and it could be fixed if only they balanced out the game by banning some cards, making new ones, and so on.

 

I think the game is broken to the core because, unlike Pokemon and Magic, it has no floodgates to control the game. The game wasn't bad when it first came out but now it's cancer. Playing with most decks these days means spending 30 minutes on your Main Phase setting up a field, with battling your opponent as an afterthought, so much it is somewhat like playing solitaire. 

 

I don't suggest adding anything like Energy or Mana cards to the game; they're hideous and clog up a deck. I have other thoughts, only musings, which will probably never be put into practice, but I'm not expecting that anyway. Just a few thoughts on a boring Saturday.

 

Manga Rules

The Yugioh card game in the manga seems to have a pretty answer. You could only Normal Summon 1 monster per turn, set/activate 1 Spell per turn, and set/activate 1 Trap per turn.

 

All manga Spells work like our Quick Play Spells (you can activate them on your opponent's turn but can't activate them after you set them). The catch is most Spells can't directly protect you or your opponent's monsters from your opponent, so you have to use Spells in a more roundabout way for defense. Traps, however, make solid guards.

 

Manga Yugioh has a kind of poker element to it. You can Set 2 cards facedown but 1 will be a Spell and 1 will be a Trap and your opponent has to use that implied knowledge to work around your tactics. If you play 1 Spell, you can only set 1 card, a Trap, which could be an obvious ambush or a bluff. Again, your opponent will have to think through their options.

 

Forbidden Memories / Duelists of the Roses Rules

You can play only 1 card from your hand per turn. You can, however, combine cards in move as a combo, or toss away cards from your hand, and then you can draw more cards until you have 5 cards in your hand again. The rule would work way better if we played the game on a DoR board, as your Life Points won't be so bare. Either way, it makes Yugioh a little more like chess, forcing you to think more deeply, which is nice.

 

Deck Cost

Hosts could hold tournaments where players could not make a deck exceeding a set deck cost. A 700 deck cost limit would really force players to pick and choose among stables like Pot of Greed and Raigeki, while something a 2000 deck cost limit means everything goes. Tournaments with deck costs would most likely be held online since the computer could easily calculate your deck cost for you.

 

Anime Meta

I always found anime duels to be more interesting than real life duels, especially in Duel Monsters, probably because anime characters didn't abuse cards like Raigeki or Yata. Yugi and pals did seem to play under a kind of meta, which is hard to tease out, but I'll try. Anime meta was sort of like this:

 

-Cards that directly destroyed your opponent's cards (like Fissure, Heavy Storm etc.) were limited to 1, while very cheap cards like Dark Hole and Raigeki were banned outright. The anime put the emphasis on battle, not giant Main Phases. 

 

-Many drawing cards like Pot of Greed and Card of Sanctity were out there but limited to 1. Pot of Greed was tolerable in the anime because people didn't use Heavy Storm and Raigeki on the same turn.    

 

-Most burn cards seemed limited to 1, while "direct damage" cards like Tremendous Fire and Meteor of Destruction were banned.

 

-Maybe there was an overall limit to the number of cards listed above a player could use; like you could only use 10 such "super cards", so you had to pick and choose carefully what cards you wanted to use. 

 

The banning and limiting of so many overpowered destruction cards meant players had to coordinate their monsters better. They couldn't just stack their Deck with staples like we (kind of still) do. I would say Yugi and pals in Dark Side of Dimensions showed a nice balance between Anime Yugioh and IRL Yugioh.