Dark Series

[Hamarsenal]

Hello to everyone!

I`m new to this so please go easy on me ;)

 

[Trebuchet MS]

Oh, right. A few other unwritten rules:

 

Don't use attachments to post your cards. Instead, after generating the card in the card maker, click on the image. A link should appear below with img tags. Copy-paste all of that directly into your post.

 

Post your card text under your cards so in case anyone wants to quote them, it's a lot easier. It becomes nearly imperative when your card text is incredibly wordy.

 

As for your cards, I'll go through and polish up the card text.

[spoiler Arcane Witch]As long as this card remains face-up attack position on your side of the field, When your opponent will receive 500 damage everytime he draws a card(s) while this card is in face-up Attack Position: Inflict 500 damage for each card they drew.[/spoiler]

Needing to stay in Attack Position with 0 ATK is just asking to get attacked and subsequently destroyed. Unless you're causing your opponent to draw cards with your effects as well, your opponent will simply punch this monster in while taking an insignificant 500 damage. I would recommend giving this card some staying power - at least let it be able to damage the opponent while in Defense Position to allow it to do some lasting damage before it gets dealt with.

 

[spoiler Axe of the Swamp]Equip only to a DARK Fiend type monster. It raises the attack of The equipped monster by gains 500 points ATK. When the monster equipped with this card monster destroys a monster your opponent monster, controls: You can deal activate 1 of these effects.

*Inflict 100 damage to your opponent for every each card in his their hand.

*Inflict 100 damage to your opponent for each card in their Graveyard. (your choice is permanent until the end of the duel).[/spoiler]

Having this card lock your choice until the end of the duel feels unwieldy. First off, you didn't exactly specify when the choice was made. Making that choice last till the end of the Duel implies that the choice is tied to the individual copy of the card and sticks around even if the card leaves the field or not, which makes it very tedious to track when multiple copies of this card are involved. Hence, I'd rather you not lock the choice and allow the player to keep making that choice each time they destroy a monster.

 

The burn could also afford to be raised. The hand choice maxes out at 600, normally, and on average is expected to do 300. That's a really insignificant amount. You can afford to bump up the increment to 200 or so. Graveyard choice is sufficient as quite a number of Decks nowadays like to do some Graveyard stocking, meaning this card can do upwards of 800 damage (and this number is bound to increase as the Duel continues).

 

[spoiler Rotten Hound]When your opponent draws a card(s) while this card is in your Graveyard: everytime when your opponent draws a card, he will receive Inflict 300 damage to your opponent for each card they drew.[/spoiler]

This is a lot more effective than the Witch. It can operate while in the Graveyard where it doesn't have to worry about getting attacked and destroyed in battle, and its relatively low stats put this card in the Graveyard really easily. Not to mention the many ways for this card to be dumped there, be it from hand or Deck. The burn counts are a lot lower, but it's a lot easier to stack 3 copies in a Graveyard rather than maintain them on the field.

 

[spoiler The Barrow Dweller]When this monster destroys an opponent's monster in by battle: Inflict damage to your opponent receives damage equal to his the Level of the destroyed monster x 100.[/spoiler]

2200 ATK for a 1-Tribute monster is quite low. Makes it difficult for this card to get a lot of kills that are other monsters of about its Level. The damage effect is also rather weak. On average you'd expect this card to do 400 damage when it destroys a LV4 monster, but don't expect it to go beating LV5 or LV6 monsters on a regular basis. Give it a little more ATK to win more battles, and raise the damage increment to 200, and it would be fine. You don't expect it to beat LV7 or higher monsters usually, so getting a lot more damage by beating higher-Level monsters will actually require you to put some effort into it.

 

You can give this thread a read to learn how to phrase your card effects properly, and read this thread to get a general feel of good design.

[Hamarsenal]

I`m very grateful for your comment and I apppreciate the criticism.
I`ll try to correct and adjust properly.

[Hamarsenal]

I hope there is an improvement

 

 

1 Fiend-type tuner + 1 or more Fiend monsters

When this monster destroys an opponent`s monster by battle:Inflict 500 damage to your opponent and you gain 500 points.

 

 

1 Fiend-type tuner + 1 or more Fiend monster

When this monster destroys an opponent`s monster, this card gains 100 ATK points.